Hangman

As Hangman enters the battlefield, secretly note a word with six to eight letters.
{1}: Target player who doesn't control Hangman guesses the noted word or an unguessed letter in that word. If they guess wrong, put a +1/+1 counter on Hangman. Any player may activate this ability.
When a player guesses the noted word or all of its letters, sacrifice Hangman.

Orzhov Guildgate

Orzhov Guildgate enters the battlefield tapped.
{T}: Add {W} or {B}.

Frankie Peanuts

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may ask target player a yes-or-no question. If you do, that player answers the question truthfully and abides by that answer if able until end of turn.

Teacher's Pet

{2}{W}, Sacrifice Teacher's Pet: Search your library for a card with augment, combine it with target host you control, then shuffle.

Blossoming Sands

Blossoming Sands enters the battlefield tapped.
When Blossoming Sands enters the battlefield, you gain 1 life.
{T}: Add {G} or {W}.

Forest

Destroy target creature with reminder text. (Reminder text is any italicized text in parentheses that explains rules you already know.)

Dogsnail Engine

Whenever you crank Dogsnail Engine, target player gains life equal to the greatest power among creatures you control.

Question Elemental?

Did you know this creature has flying?
Are you aware that any time you say something that isn't a question, when a player points out this fact first, they gain control of Question Elemental?

Steam-Powered

{5}:
Augment {4} ({4}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Swiftwater Cliffs

Swiftwater Cliffs enters the battlefield tapped.
When Swiftwater Cliffs enters the battlefield, you gain 1 life.
{T}: Add {U} or {R}.

Azorius Guildgate

Azorius Guildgate enters the battlefield tapped.
{T}: Add {W} or {U}.

Swamp

Avatar of Me

This spell costs {1} more to cast for each ten years you've been alive.
Avatar of Me's power is equal to your height in feet and its toughness is equal to your American shoe size. Round to the nearest ½.
Avatar of Me is the color of your eyes.

Blurry Beeble

Blurry (This creature can be blocked only if defending player was wearing glasses as it was cast.)
Whenever Blurry Beeble deals combat damage to a player, you may draw a card. If you do, discard a card.

Laughing Hyena

Gotcha — If an opponent laughs, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Laughing Hyena from your graveyard to your hand.

Flavor Judge

{T}: Choose target spell or ability that targets a permanent you control. Then ask a person outside the game if the story of what will happen makes sense. If they say no, sacrifice Flavor Judge and counter that spell or ability.

Dirty Rat

When this creature enters the battlefield, target opponent discards a card.

Half-Kitten, Half-

Whenever you're dealt damage,
Augment {2}{W} ({2}{W}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Island

Adorable Kitten

When this creature enters the battlefield, roll a six-sided die. You gain life equal to the result.

Mountain

Dismal Backwater

Dismal Backwater enters the battlefield tapped.
When Dismal Backwater enters the battlefield, you gain 1 life.
{T}: Add {U} or {B}.

Wild Crocodile

When this creature enters the battlefield, search your library for a basic land card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Number Crunch

Return target permanent to its owner's hand.
Gotcha — If an opponent says a number, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Number Crunch from your graveyard to your hand.

Plains

Inflation Station

Whenever you crank Inflation Station, target creature gets +3/+3 until end of turn.

Staying Power

"Until end of turn" and "this turn" effects don't end.

Split Screen

When Split Screen enters the battlefield, shuffle your library and deal it into four libraries. If anything refers to your library, choose one of your libraries for it.
Play with your libraries' top cards revealed.
When Split Screen leaves the battlefield, shuffle your libraries together.

Sap Sucker

Whenever you crank Sap Sucker, add {G}. Until end of turn, you don't lose this mana as steps and phases end.

Izzet Boilerworks

Izzet Boilerworks enters the battlefield tapped.
When Izzet Boilerworks enters the battlefield, return a land you control to its owner's hand.
{T}: Add {U}{R}.

Stinging Scorpion

When this creature enters the battlefield, target creature an opponent controls gets -1/-1 until end of turn.

Tread Mill

Whenever you crank Tread Mill, until end of turn, target creature gets +1/+2, gains vigilance, and becomes an artifact in addition to its other types.

Selesnya Guildgate

Selesnya Guildgate enters the battlefield tapped.
{T}: Add {G} or {W}.

Angelic Rocket

Flying
When this creature enters the battlefield, you may destroy target nonland permanent.

Emcee

Whenever another creature enters the battlefield, you may stand up and say in a deep, booming voice, "Presenting . . . " and that creature's name. If you do, put a +1/+1 counter on that creature.

Rhino-

Whenever this creature blocks,
Augment {3}{W} ({3}{W}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Dr. Julius Jumblemorph

Dr. Julius Jumblemorph is every creature type (even if this card isn't on the battlefield).
Whenever a host enters the battlefield under your control, you may search your library and/or graveyard for a card with augment and combine it with that host. If you search your library this way, shuffle.

Tranquil Cove

Tranquil Cove enters the battlefield tapped.
When Tranquil Cove enters the battlefield, you gain 1 life.
{T}: Add {W} or {U}.

AWOL

Exile target attacking creature. Then remove it from the game. Then put it into the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game-forever zone.

B.O.B. (Bevy of Beebles)

As B.O.B. enters the battlefield, create four 1/1 blue Beeble creature tokens.
The number of loyalty counters on B.O.B. is equal to the number of Beebles you control. (Create or sacrifice Beebles whenever B.O.B. gains or loses loyalty.)
+1: Up to X target Beebles can't be blocked this turn, where X is the number of cards in your hand.
−1: Draw a card.

Nomad Outpost

Nomad Outpost enters the battlefield tapped.
{T}: Add {R}, {W}, or {B}.

Bursting Beebles

Bursting Beebles can't be blocked as long as defending player controls two or more nonland permanents that share an artist.

Jungle Hollow

Jungle Hollow enters the battlefield tapped.
When Jungle Hollow enters the battlefield, you gain 1 life.
{T}: Add {B} or {G}.

Shaggy Camel

When this creature enters the battlefield, creatures you control get +1/+1 until end of turn.

Golgari Guildgate

Golgari Guildgate enters the battlefield tapped.
{T}: Add {B} or {G}.

Ninja

You may activate Ninja's augment ability any time you could cast an instant.
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player,
Augment {2}{B} ({2}{B}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as—oh, never mind.)

Cheatyface

If Cheatyface is in your hand, you may sneak Cheatyface onto the battlefield. If an opponent catches you right away, that player may exile Cheatyface.
Flying

Oaken Power Suit

Whenever you crank Oaken Power Suit, target creature gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the greatest power among creatures you control.

Selfie Preservation

Search your library for a basic land card and reveal it. If there's a tree in its art, put it onto the battlefield tapped. Otherwise, put it into your hand. Then shuffle.

Common Iguana

When this creature enters the battlefield, you may discard a card. If you do, draw a card.

Surgeon General Commander

Whenever you augment, enchant, or mutate a creature you control, draw a card.
{T}: Add {W}, {U}, {B}, {R}, or {G}.

Gruul Guildgate

Gruul Guildgate enters the battlefield tapped.
{T}: Add {R} or {G}.

Fat Ass

Fat Ass gets +2/+2 and has trample as long as you're eating. (Gum isn't food. We checked.)

Mer Man

When this creature enters the battlefield, you may draw a card.

Underdome

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to pay Un-costs.

Targeting Rocket

Whenever you crank Targeting Rocket, target creature blocks this turn if able.

Hydradoodle

As Hydradoodle enters the battlefield, roll X six-sided dice. Hydradoodle enters the battlefield with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the total of those results.
Reach, trample

Rod of Spanking

{2}, {T}: Rod of Spanking deals 1 damage to target player. Then untap Rod of Spanking unless that player says "Thank you, sir. May I have another?"

Voracious Vacuum

When this creature enters the battlefield, put a +1/+1 counter on target creature.

Animate Library

Enchant your library
Enchanted library is an artifact creature on the battlefield with power and toughness each equal to the number of cards in it. It's still a library.
If enchanted library would leave the battlefield, exile Animate Library instead.

Mad Science Fair Project

{T}: Roll a six-sided die. On a 3 or lower, target player adds {C}. Otherwise, that player adds one mana of any color they choose.

B-I-N-G-O

Trample
Whenever a player casts a spell, put a chip counter on its mana value.
B-I-N-G-O gets +9/+9 for each set of three numbers in a row with chip counters on them.

Dictation Quillograph

Whenever you crank Dictation Quillograph, until end of turn, target creature gains "Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, you may draw a card. If you do, discard a card."

Simic Guildgate

Simic Guildgate enters the battlefield tapped.
{T}: Add {G} or {U}.

Buzz Buggy

Whenever you crank Buzz Buggy, target creature gets +2/+0 and gains trample until end of turn.

Boros Guildgate

Boros Guildgate enters the battlefield tapped.
{T}: Add {R} or {W}.

Kill! Destroy!

Destroy target nonblack creature.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "kill" or "destroy," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Kill! Destroy! from your graveyard to your hand.

Success!

Target creature gets +2/+2 until end of turn. If it's a host or has augment, it gains lifelink until end of turn.

Dimir Guildgate

Dimir Guildgate enters the battlefield tapped.
{T}: Add {U} or {B}.

Bronze Calendar

Spells you cast cost {1} less to cast.
You must speak in a voice other than your normal voice.
When you speak in your normal voice, sacrifice Bronze Calendar.

Big Boa Constrictor

When this creature enters the battlefield, roll a six-sided die. Target opponent loses life equal to the result.

Zombified

{4}{B}: Combine Zombified from your graveyard with target host.
{2}{B}, Exile a creature card from your graveyard:
Augment {4}{B} ({4}{B}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Serpentine

Landfall — Whenever a land enters the battlefield under your control,
Augment {2}{G} ({2}{G}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Selesnya Sanctuary

Selesnya Sanctuary enters the battlefield tapped.
When Selesnya Sanctuary enters the battlefield, return a land you control to its owner's hand.
{T}: Add {G}{W}.

Eager Beaver

When this creature enters the battlefield, you may untap target permanent.

Rugged Highlands

Rugged Highlands enters the battlefield tapped.
When Rugged Highlands enters the battlefield, you gain 1 life.
{T}: Add {R} or {G}.

Toy Boat

Cumulative upkeep—Say "Toy Boat" quickly. (At the beginning of your upkeep, put an age counter on Toy Boat, then sacrifice it unless you say "Toy Boat" once for each age counter on it—without pausing between or fumbling it.)

Handy Dandy Clone Machine

{2}, {T}: Create a 2/2 colorless Homunculus creature token. It must be represented by a unique hand and two fingers at all times, or it ceases to exist.

Mother of Goons

Whenever a creature an opponent controls dies, sacrifice Mother of Goons unless you insult that creature.

Bloodfell Caves

Bloodfell Caves enters the battlefield tapped.
When Bloodfell Caves enters the battlefield, you gain 1 life.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.

Mother Kangaroo

When this creature enters the battlefield, roll a six-sided die. Put a number of +1/+1 counters on this creature equal to the result.

Half-Orc, Half-

Trample
At the beginning of each end step, if an opponent was dealt damage this turn,
Augment {1}{R}{R} ({1}{R}{R}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Half-Shark, Half-

At the beginning of your upkeep,
Augment {5}{U} ({5}{U}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Rakdos Guildgate

Rakdos Guildgate enters the battlefield tapped.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.

Applied Aeronautics

Whenever you crank Applied Aeronautics, until end of turn, target creature gets +1/+0, gains flying, and becomes an artifact in addition to its other types.

Land Aid '04

Search your library for a basic land card, put that card onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle. If you sang a song the whole time you were searching and shuffling, you may untap that land.

Man of Measure

As long as you're shorter than an opponent, Man of Measure gets +0/+1 and has first strike.
As long as you're taller than an opponent, Man of Measure gets +1/+0.

Quick-Stick Lick Trick

Whenever you crank Quick-Stick Lick Trick, target creature gets +1/+1 and gains lifelink until end of turn.

Humming-

Flying
Whenever you attack with two or more creatures,
Augment {3}{W} ({3}{W}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Red-Hot Hottie

Whenever Red-Hot Hottie deals damage to a creature, put a third-degree-burn counter on that creature. It gains "At the beginning of each end step, sacrifice this creature unless you scream 'Aaah!' at the top of your lungs."

Feisty Stegosaurus

When this creature enters the battlefield, roll a six-sided die. This creature deals damage equal to the result to target creature an opponent controls.

Crafty Octopus

When this creature enters the battlefield, this creature assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Bumbling Pangolin

When this creature enters the battlefield, you may destroy target artifact.

Common Courtesy

Whenever a player casts a spell without asking your permission while casting it, counter that spell.
When a player asks you permission to cast a spell and you refuse, counter that spell and sacrifice Common Courtesy.

Thornwood Falls

Thornwood Falls enters the battlefield tapped.
When Thornwood Falls enters the battlefield, you gain 1 life.
{T}: Add {G} or {U}.

GO TO JAIL

When GO TO JAIL enters the battlefield, exile target creature an opponent controls until GO TO JAIL leaves the battlefield.
At the beginning of the upkeep of the exiled card's owner, that player rolls two six-sided dice. If they roll doubles, sacrifice GO TO JAIL.

Half-Squirrel, Half-

Whenever a nontoken creature enters the battlefield,
Augment {G} ({G}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Boomstacker

As Boomstacker enters the battlefield and whenever it attacks, stack two dice on top of it. (All dice must be stacked vertically, one on top of another.)
Boomstacker gets +1/+1 for each die in its stack.
Boomstacker attacks each combat if able.
When the stack falls, sacrifice Boomstacker.

Opulent Palace

Opulent Palace enters the battlefield tapped.
{T}: Add {B}, {G}, or {U}.

Kindslaver

{5}, {T}, Sacrifice Kindslaver: A person outside the game controls target player during that player's next turn. Neither player may advise that person until the end of that turn.