226
3/13/2024
Fu(k Your Couch
Deck Size: 100
Commander
Legal
Est deck cost: $1049.37
Salt sum: 60.29
No deck tags
226
3/13/2024
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Commander

Qty: 1 Price: $27.99
Nicol Bolas, the Ravager

Creature
Nicol Bolas, the Ravager // Nicol Bolas, the Arisen (sld) 1211Nicol Bolas, the Ravager // Nicol Bolas, the Arisen (sld) 1211

Commander

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Instant

Qty: 13 Price: $129.19
Cabal Ritual

Add {B}{B}{B}. Threshold — Add {B}{B}{B}{B}{B} instead if seven or more cards are in your graveyard.

Instant
Cabal Ritual (tor) 51
Crosis's Charm

Choose one — • Return target permanent to its owner's hand. • Destroy target nonblack creature. It can't be regenerated. • Destroy target artifact.

Instant
Crosis's Charm (plst) C17-169
Dark Ritual

Add {B}{B}{B}.

Instant
Dark Ritual (mir) 116
Deadly Rollick

If you control a commander, you may cast this spell without paying its mana cost. Exile target creature.

Instant
Deadly Rollick (cmm) 147
Deflecting Swat

If you control a commander, you may cast this spell without paying its mana cost. You may choose new targets for target spell or ability.

Instant
Deflecting Swat (cmm) 214
Flame of Anor

Choose one. If you control a Wizard as you cast this spell, you may choose two instead. • Target player draws two cards. • Destroy target artifact. • Flame of Anor deals 5 damage to target creature.

Instant
Flame of Anor (ltr) 406
Galvanic Iteration

When you next cast an instant or sorcery spell this turn, copy that spell. You may choose new targets for the copy. Flashback {1}{U}{R} (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its flashback cost. Then exile it.)

Instant
Galvanic Iteration (mid) 224
Learn from the Past

Target player shuffles their graveyard into their library. Draw a card.

Instant
Learn from the Past (dtk) 60
Mindswipe

Counter target spell unless its controller pays {X}. Mindswipe deals X damage to that spell's controller.

Instant
Mindswipe (ktk) 189
Prismari Command

Choose two — • Prismari Command deals 2 damage to any target. • Target player draws two cards, then discards two cards. • Target player creates a Treasure token. • Destroy target artifact.

Instant
Prismari Command (lcc) 279
Reinterpret

Counter target spell. You may cast a spell with equal or lesser mana value from your hand without paying its mana cost.

Instant
Reinterpret (c21) 73
Swerve

Change the target of target spell with a single target.

Instant
Swerve (ala) 200
Turn

Instant
Turn // Burn (dgm) 134

Instant

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Artifact

Qty: 6 Price: $103.04
Arcane Signet

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Artifact
Arcane Signet (ltc) 273
Fellwar Stone

{T}: Add one mana of any color that a land an opponent controls could produce.

Artifact
Fellwar Stone (woc) 147
Lotus Petal

{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.

Artifact
Lotus Petal (plst) TMP-294
Sensei's Divining Top

{1}: Look at the top three cards of your library, then put them back in any order. {T}: Draw a card, then put this artifact on top of its owner's library.

Artifact
Sensei's Divining Top (2x2) 398
Sol Ring

{T}: Add {C}{C}.

Artifact
Sol Ring (cmm) 703
Sword of Kaldra

Equipped creature gets +5/+5. Whenever equipped creature deals damage to a creature, exile that creature. (Exile it only if it's still on the battlefield.) Equip {4} ({4}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery. This card enters unattached and stays on the battlefield if the creature leaves.)

Artifact
Sword of Kaldra (mrd) 251

Artifact

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Land

Qty: 36 Price: $270.38
Akoum Refuge

This land enters tapped. When this land enters, you gain 1 life. {T}: Add {B} or {R}.

Land
Akoum Refuge (scd) 289
Blackcleave Cliffs

This land enters tapped unless you control two or fewer other lands. {T}: Add {B} or {R}.

Land
Blackcleave Cliffs (one) 370
Blood Crypt

({T}: Add {B} or {R}.) As this land enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Land
Blood Crypt (sld) 125
Bloodfell Caves

This land enters tapped. When this land enters, you gain 1 life. {T}: Add {B} or {R}.

Land
Bloodfell Caves (iko) 243
Contaminated Aquifer

({T}: Add {U} or {B}.) This land enters tapped.

Land
Contaminated Aquifer (dmu) 245
Crumbling Necropolis

This land enters tapped. {T}: Add {U}, {B}, or {R}.

Land
Crumbling Necropolis (plst) C17-244
Darkslick Shores

This land enters tapped unless you control two or fewer other lands. {T}: Add {U} or {B}.

Land
Darkslick Shores (zne) 12
Dismal Backwater

This land enters tapped. When this land enters, you gain 1 life. {T}: Add {U} or {B}.

Land
Dismal Backwater (iko) 246
Dragonskull Summit

This land enters tapped unless you control a Swamp or a Mountain. {T}: Add {B} or {R}.

Land
Dragonskull Summit (e01) 93
Drowned Catacomb

This land enters tapped unless you control an Island or a Swamp. {T}: Add {U} or {B}.

Land
Drowned Catacomb (ltc) 305
Geothermal Bog

({T}: Add {B} or {R}.) This land enters tapped.

Land
Geothermal Bog (dmu) 247
Grixis Panorama

{T}: Add {C}. {1}, {T}, Sacrifice this land: Search your library for a basic Island, Swamp, or Mountain card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Land
Grixis Panorama (ncc) 407
Haunted Ridge

This land enters tapped unless you control two or more other lands. {T}: Add {B} or {R}.

Land
Haunted Ridge (mid) 282
Island

({T}: Add {U}.)

Land
Island (dmu) 278
Maestros Theater

When this land enters, sacrifice it. When you do, search your library for a basic Island, Swamp, or Mountain card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle and you gain 1 life.

Land
Maestros Theater (snc) 251
Molten Tributary

({T}: Add {U} or {R}.) This land enters tapped.

Land
Molten Tributary (dmu) 251
Mountain

({T}: Add {R}.)

Land
Mountain (dmu) 280
Shipwreck Marsh

This land enters tapped unless you control two or more other lands. {T}: Add {U} or {B}.

Land
Shipwreck Marsh (mid) 285
Spirebluff Canal

This land enters tapped unless you control two or fewer other lands. {T}: Add {U} or {R}.

Land
Spirebluff Canal (kld) 249
Steam Vents

({T}: Add {U} or {R}.) As this land enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Land
Steam Vents (unf) 283
Stormcarved Coast

This land enters tapped unless you control two or more other lands. {T}: Add {U} or {R}.

Land
Stormcarved Coast (vow) 284
Sulfur Falls

This land enters tapped unless you control an Island or a Mountain. {T}: Add {U} or {R}.

Land
Sulfur Falls (dom) 247
Swamp

({T}: Add {B}.)

Land
Swamp (dmu) 279
Swiftwater Cliffs

This land enters tapped. When this land enters, you gain 1 life. {T}: Add {U} or {R}.

Land
Swiftwater Cliffs (m21) 251
Urborg, Tomb of Yawgmoth

Each land is a Swamp in addition to its other land types.

Land
Urborg, Tomb of Yawgmoth (m15) 248
Watery Grave

({T}: Add {U} or {B}.) As this land enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Land
Watery Grave (unf) 278
Xander's Lounge

({T}: Add {U}, {B}, or {R}.) This land enters tapped. Cycling {3} ({3}, Discard this card: Draw a card.)

Land
Xander's Lounge (snc) 260

Land

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Creature

Qty: 28 Price: $395.67
Banehound

Lifelink, haste

Creature
Banehound (war) 77
Consecrated Sphinx

Flying Whenever an opponent draws a card, you may draw two cards.

Creature
Consecrated Sphinx (2x2) 43
Empress Galina

{U}{U}, {T}: Gain control of target legendary permanent. (This effect lasts indefinitely.)

Creature
Empress Galina (inv) 54
Etali, Primal Storm

Whenever Etali attacks, exile the top card of each player's library, then you may cast any number of spells from among those cards without paying their mana costs.

Creature
Etali, Primal Storm (lcc) 224
Falthis, Shadowcat Familiar

Commanders you control have menace and deathtouch. Partner (You can have two commanders if both have partner.)

Creature
Falthis, Shadowcat Familiar (cmr) 126
Fatespinner

At the beginning of each opponent's upkeep, that player chooses draw step, main phase, or combat phase. The player skips each instance of the chosen step or phase this turn.

Creature
Fatespinner (plst) MRD-36
Goldhound

First strike Menace (This creature can't be blocked except by two or more creatures.) {T}, Sacrifice this creature: Add one mana of any color.

Creature Artifact
Goldhound (j22) 549
Goro-Goro and Satoru

Whenever one or more creatures you control that entered this turn deal combat damage to a player, create a 5/5 red Dragon Spirit creature token with flying. {1}{R}: Creatures you control gain haste until end of turn.

Creature
Goro-Goro and Satoru (moc) 448
It That Betrays

Annihilator 2 (Whenever this creature attacks, defending player sacrifices two permanents of their choice.) Whenever an opponent sacrifices a nontoken permanent, put that card onto the battlefield under your control.

Creature
It That Betrays (cmm) 805
Jhoira of the Ghitu

{2}, Exile a nonland card from your hand: Put four time counters on the exiled card. If it doesn't have suspend, it gains suspend. (At the beginning of your upkeep, remove a time counter. When the last is removed, you may cast it without paying its mana cost. If it's a creature, it has haste.)

Creature
Jhoira of the Ghitu (pz2) 65847
Karlach, Fury of Avernus

Whenever you attack, if it's the first combat phase of the turn, untap all attacking creatures. They gain first strike until end of turn. After this phase, there is an additional combat phase. Choose a Background (You can have a Background as a second commander.)

Creature
Karlach, Fury of Avernus (clb) 186
Kediss, Emberclaw Familiar

Whenever a commander you control deals combat damage to an opponent, it deals that much damage to each other opponent. Partner (You can have two commanders if both have partner.)

Creature
Kediss, Emberclaw Familiar (cmr) 188
Kokusho, the Evening Star

Flying When Kokusho dies, each opponent loses 5 life. You gain life equal to the life lost this way.

Creature
Kokusho, the Evening Star (mma) 89
Lord Xander, the Collector

When Lord Xander enters, target opponent discards half the cards in their hand, rounded down. Whenever Lord Xander attacks, defending player mills half their library, rounded down. When Lord Xander dies, target opponent sacrifices half the nonland permanents they control of their choice, rounded down.

Creature
Lord Xander, the Collector (snc) 315
Marchesa, the Black Rose

Dethrone (Whenever this creature attacks the player with the most life or tied for most life, put a +1/+1 counter on it.) Other creatures you control have dethrone. Whenever a creature you control with a +1/+1 counter on it dies, return that card to the battlefield under your control at the beginning of the next end step.

Creature
Marchesa, the Black Rose (sld) 1452
Mischievous Catgeist

Creature
Mischievous Catgeist // Catlike Curiosity (vow) 69Mischievous Catgeist // Catlike Curiosity (vow) 69
Niv-Mizzet, Parun

This spell can't be countered. Flying Whenever you draw a card, Niv-Mizzet deals 1 damage to any target. Whenever a player casts an instant or sorcery spell, you draw a card.

Creature
Niv-Mizzet, Parun (rvr) 438
Olivia Voldaren

Flying {1}{R}: Olivia Voldaren deals 1 damage to another target creature. That creature becomes a Vampire in addition to its other types. Put a +1/+1 counter on Olivia Voldaren. {3}{B}{B}: Gain control of target Vampire for as long as you control Olivia Voldaren.

Creature
Olivia Voldaren (sld) 1264
Opposition Agent

Flash You control your opponents while they're searching their libraries. While an opponent is searching their library, they exile each card they find. You may play those cards for as long as they remain exiled, and you may spend mana as though it were mana of any color to cast them.

Creature
Opposition Agent (cmr) 141
Orca, Siege Demon

Trample Whenever another creature dies, put a +1/+1 counter on Orca. When Orca dies, it deals damage equal to its power divided as you choose among any number of targets.

Creature
Orca, Siege Demon (dmc) 37
Sheoldred, the Apocalypse

Deathtouch Whenever you draw a card, you gain 2 life. Whenever an opponent draws a card, they lose 2 life.

Creature
Sheoldred, the Apocalypse (dmu) 290
Sheoldred, Whispering One

Swampwalk (This creature can't be blocked as long as defending player controls a Swamp.) At the beginning of your upkeep, return target creature card from your graveyard to the battlefield. At the beginning of each opponent's upkeep, that player sacrifices a creature of their choice.

Creature
Sheoldred, Whispering One (mul) 16
Tergrid, God of Fright

Creature
Tergrid, God of Fright // Tergrid's Lantern (khm) 307Tergrid, God of Fright // Tergrid's Lantern (khm) 307
Thraximundar

Haste Whenever Thraximundar attacks, defending player sacrifices a creature of their choice. Whenever a player sacrifices a creature, you may put a +1/+1 counter on Thraximundar.

Creature
Thraximundar (c13) 221
Toxrill, the Corrosive

At the beginning of each end step, put a slime counter on each creature you don't control. Creatures you don't control get -1/-1 for each slime counter on them. Whenever a creature you don't control with a slime counter on it dies, create a 1/1 black Slug creature token. {U}{B}, Sacrifice a Slug: Draw a card.

Creature
Toxrill, the Corrosive (vow) 132
Urabrask the Hidden

Creatures you control have haste. Creatures your opponents control enter tapped.

Creature
Urabrask the Hidden (mul) 23
Vial Smasher the Fierce

Whenever you cast your first spell each turn, choose an opponent at random. Vial Smasher deals damage equal to that spell's mana value to that player or a planeswalker that player controls. Partner (You can have two commanders if both have partner.)

Creature
Vial Smasher the Fierce (sld) 1202
Xanathar, Guild Kingpin

At the beginning of your upkeep, choose target opponent. Until end of turn, that player can't cast spells, you may look at the top card of their library any time, you may play the top card of their library, and you may spend mana as though it were mana of any color to cast spells this way.

Creature
Xanathar, Guild Kingpin (afr) 239

Creature

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Planeswalker

Qty: 1 Price: $12.99
Sorin Markov

+2: Sorin Markov deals 2 damage to any target and you gain 2 life. −3: Target opponent's life total becomes 10. −7: You control target player during that player's next turn.

Planeswalker
Sorin Markov (plst) M12-109

Planeswalker

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Enchantment

Qty: 6 Price: $6.62
Elemental Augury

{3}: Look at the top three cards of target player's library, then put them back in any order.

Enchantment
Elemental Augury (ice) 286
Fevered Visions

At the beginning of each player's end step, that player draws a card. If the player is your opponent and has four or more cards in hand, this enchantment deals 2 damage to that player.

Enchantment
Fevered Visions (soi) 244
Frozen Aether

Artifacts, creatures, and lands your opponents control enter tapped.

Enchantment
Frozen Aether (plst) PLC-54
Kumano's Blessing

Flash Enchant creature If a creature dealt damage by enchanted creature this turn would die, exile it instead.

Enchantment
Kumano's Blessing (bok) 111
Messenger's Speed

Enchant creature Enchanted creature has trample and haste.

Enchantment
Messenger's Speed (ths) 129
Mishra's Domination

Enchant creature As long as you control enchanted creature, it gets +2/+2. Otherwise, it can't block.

Enchantment
Mishra's Domination (bro) 142

Enchantment

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Sorcery

Qty: 9 Price: $103.49
Bribery

Search target opponent's library for a creature card and put that card onto the battlefield under your control. Then that player shuffles.

Sorcery
Bribery (cmm) 77
Cruel Ultimatum

Target opponent sacrifices a creature of their choice, discards three cards, then loses 5 life. You return a creature card from your graveyard to your hand, draw three cards, then gain 5 life.

Sorcery
Cruel Ultimatum (e01) 82
Curse of the Cabal

Target player sacrifices half the permanents they control of their choice, rounded down. Suspend 2—{2}{B}{B} (Rather than cast this card from your hand, you may pay {2}{B}{B} and exile it with two time counters on it. At the beginning of your upkeep, remove a time counter. When the last is removed, you may cast it without paying its mana cost.) At the beginning of each player's upkeep, if this card is suspended, that player may sacrifice a permanent of their choice. If the player does, put two time counters on this card.

Sorcery
Curse of the Cabal (tsp) 99
Demonic Tutor

Search your library for a card, put that card into your hand, then shuffle.

Sorcery
Demonic Tutor (cmm) 150
Epic Downfall

Exile target creature with mana value 3 or greater.

Sorcery
Epic Downfall (eld) 85
Role Reversal

Exchange control of two target permanents that share a permanent type.

Sorcery
Role Reversal (war) 214
Slave of Bolas

Gain control of target creature. Untap that creature. It gains haste until end of turn. Sacrifice it at the beginning of the next end step.

Sorcery
Slave of Bolas (plst) E01-86
Torment of Hailfire

Repeat the following process X times. Each opponent loses 3 life unless that player sacrifices a nonland permanent of their choice or discards a card.

Sorcery
Torment of Hailfire (plst) HOU-77
Train of Thought

Replicate {1}{U} (When you cast this spell, copy it for each time you paid its replicate cost.) Draw a card.

Sorcery
Train of Thought (ddj) 19

Sorcery

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Maybeboard

Qty: 21 Price: $142.27
Crosis, the Purger

Flying Whenever Crosis deals combat damage to a player, you may pay {2}{B}. If you do, choose a color, then that player reveals their hand and discards all cards of that color.

Creature
Crosis, the Purger (plst) C17-168
Displacer Kitten

Avoidance — Whenever you cast a noncreature spell, exile up to one target nonland permanent you control, then return that card to the battlefield under its owner's control.

Creature
Displacer Kitten (clb) 560
Ensnaring Bridge

Creatures with power greater than the number of cards in your hand can't attack.

Artifact
Ensnaring Bridge (2xm) 253
Essence Backlash

Counter target creature spell. Essence Backlash deals damage equal to that spell's power to its controller.

Instant
Essence Backlash (rtr) 160
Head Games

Target opponent puts the cards from their hand on top of their library. Search that player's library for that many cards. The player puts those cards into their hand, then shuffles.

Sorcery
Head Games (10e) 148
Ionize

Counter target spell. Ionize deals 2 damage to that spell's controller.

Instant
Ionize (grn) 179
Isochron Scepter

Imprint — When this artifact enters, you may exile an instant card with mana value 2 or less from your hand. {2}, {T}: You may copy the exiled card. If you do, you may cast the copy without paying its mana cost.

Artifact
Isochron Scepter (plst) MRD-188
Lazav, Dimir Mastermind

Hexproof Whenever a creature card is put into an opponent's graveyard from anywhere, you may have Lazav become a copy of that card, except its name is Lazav, Dimir Mastermind, it's legendary in addition to its other types, and it has hexproof and this ability.

Creature
Lazav, Dimir Mastermind (znc) 92
Maestros Charm

Choose one — • Look at the top five cards of your library. Put one of those cards into your hand and the rest into your graveyard. • Each opponent loses 3 life and you gain 3 life. • Maestros Charm deals 5 damage to target creature or planeswalker.

Instant
Maestros Charm (snc) 199
Nekusar, the Mindrazer

At the beginning of each player's draw step, that player draws an additional card. Whenever an opponent draws a card, Nekusar deals 1 damage to that player.

Creature
Nekusar, the Mindrazer (cmm) 349
Nezumi Graverobber

Creature
Nezumi Graverobber // Nighteyes the Desecrator (plst) CHK-129
Ragavan, Nimble Pilferer

Whenever Ragavan deals combat damage to a player, create a Treasure token and exile the top card of that player's library. Until end of turn, you may cast that card. Dash {1}{R} (You may cast this spell for its dash cost. If you do, it gains haste, and it's returned from the battlefield to its owner's hand at the beginning of the next end step.)

Creature
Ragavan, Nimble Pilferer (mh2) 138
Ravenous Baboons

When this creature enters, destroy target nonbasic land.

Creature
Ravenous Baboons (exo) 97
Sheoldred

Creature
Sheoldred // The True Scriptures (mom) 297Sheoldred // The True Scriptures (mom) 297
Simian Spirit Guide

Exile this card from your hand: Add {R}.

Creature
Simian Spirit Guide (tsr) 190
Steam Augury

Reveal the top five cards of your library and separate them into two piles. An opponent chooses one of those piles. Put that pile into your hand and the other into your graveyard.

Instant
Steam Augury (c15) 233
Stitch in Time

Flip a coin. If you win the flip, take an extra turn after this one.

Sorcery
Stitch in Time (rvr) 229
Suffocating Blast

Counter target spell and Suffocating Blast deals 3 damage to target creature.

Instant
Suffocating Blast (apc) 124
Valki, God of Lies

Creature
Valki, God of Lies // Tibalt, Cosmic Impostor (khm) 114Valki, God of Lies // Tibalt, Cosmic Impostor (khm) 114
Vela the Night-Clad

Intimidate (This creature can't be blocked except by artifact creatures and/or creatures that share a color with it.) Other creatures you control have intimidate. Whenever Vela or another creature you control leaves the battlefield, each opponent loses 1 life.

Creature
Vela the Night-Clad (scd) 256
Watchers of the Dead

Exile this creature: Each opponent chooses two cards in their graveyard and exiles the rest.

Creature Artifact
Watchers of the Dead (akh) 238

Maybeboard

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Deck Info

Deck stats

0 pips - 0 cards
0 mana - 4 cards
37 pips - 29 cards
22 mana - 22 cards
40 pips - 29 cards
34 mana - 25 cards
37 pips - 32 cards
23 mana - 23 cards
0 pips - 0 cards
0 mana - 4 cards
0 pips - 0 cards
3 mana - 2 cards
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