Guff Rewrites History

For each player, choose target nonenchantment, nonland permanent that player controls. Those permanents' owners shuffle them into their libraries. Each player who controlled one of those permanents exiles cards from the top of their library until they exile a nonland card, then puts the rest on the bottom of their library in a random order. Each player may cast the nonland card they exiled without paying its mana cost.

Blood Aspirant

Whenever you sacrifice a permanent, put a +1/+1 counter on Blood Aspirant.
{1}{R}, {T}, Sacrifice a creature or enchantment: Blood Aspirant deals 1 damage to target creature. That creature can't block this turn.

Blasphemous Act

This spell costs {1} less to cast for each creature on the battlefield.
Blasphemous Act deals 13 damage to each creature.

Pia and Kiran Nalaar

When Pia and Kiran Nalaar enters the battlefield, create two 1/1 colorless Thopter artifact creature tokens with flying.
{2}{R}, Sacrifice an artifact: Pia and Kiran Nalaar deals 2 damage to any target.

Molten Echoes

As Molten Echoes enters the battlefield, choose a creature type.
Whenever a nontoken creature of the chosen type enters the battlefield under your control, create a token that's a copy of that creature. That token gains haste. Exile it at the beginning of the next end step.

Mountain

Valakut Stoneforge

Valakut Stoneforge enters the battlefield tapped.
{T}: Add {R}.

Valakut Awakening

Put any number of cards from your hand on the bottom of your library, then draw that many cards plus one.

Valakut Awakening // Valakut Stoneforge

Sol Ring

Boompile

{T}: Flip a coin. If you win the flip, destroy all nonland permanents.

Sokenzan, Crucible of Defiance

{T}: Add {R}.
Channel — {3}{R}, Discard Sokenzan, Crucible of Defiance: Create two 1/1 colorless Spirit creature tokens. They gain haste until end of turn. This ability costs {1} less to activate for each legendary creature you control.

Mizzix's Mastery

Exile target card that's an instant or sorcery from your graveyard. For each card exiled this way, copy it, and you may cast the copy without paying its mana cost. Exile Mizzix's Mastery.
Overload {5}{R}{R}{R} (You may cast this spell for its overload cost. If you do, change "target" in its text to "each.")

Risky Move

At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player gains control of Risky Move.
When you gain control of Risky Move from another player, choose a creature you control and an opponent. Flip a coin. If you lose the flip, that opponent gains control of that creature.

Lightning Bolt

Lightning Bolt deals 3 damage to any target.

Guild Artisan

Commander creatures you own have "Whenever this creature attacks a player, if no opponent has more life than that player, you create two Treasure tokens." (They're artifacts with "{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.")

Witty Roastmaster

Alliance — Whenever another creature enters the battlefield under your control, Witty Roastmaster deals 1 damage to each opponent.

Light Up the Stage

Spectacle {R} (You may cast this spell for its spectacle cost rather than its mana cost if an opponent lost life this turn.)
Exile the top two cards of your library. Until the end of your next turn, you may play those cards.

Genesis Chamber

Whenever a nontoken creature enters the battlefield, if Genesis Chamber is untapped, that creature's controller creates a 1/1 colorless Myr artifact creature token.

Feldon of the Third Path

{2}{R}, {T}: Create a token that's a copy of target creature card in your graveyard, except it's an artifact in addition to its other types. It gains haste. Sacrifice it at the beginning of the next end step.

Chandra's Incinerator

This spell costs {X} less to cast, where X is the total amount of noncombat damage dealt to your opponents this turn.
Trample
Whenever a source you control deals noncombat damage to an opponent, Chandra's Incinerator deals that much damage to target creature or planeswalker that player controls.

Torbran, Thane of Red Fell

If a red source you control would deal damage to an opponent or a permanent an opponent controls, it deals that much damage plus 2 instead.

The Flame of Keld

(As this Saga enters and after your draw step, add a lore counter. Sacrifice after III.)
I — Discard your hand.
II — Draw two cards.
III — If a red source you control would deal damage to a permanent or player this turn, it deals that much damage plus 2 to that permanent or player instead.

Havoc Jester

Whenever you sacrifice a permanent, Havoc Jester deals 1 damage to any target.

Flameshadow Conjuring

Whenever a nontoken creature enters the battlefield under your control, you may pay {R}. If you do, create a token that's a copy of that creature. That token gains haste. Exile it at the beginning of the next end step.

Sulfuric Vortex

At the beginning of each player's upkeep, Sulfuric Vortex deals 2 damage to that player.
If a player would gain life, that player gains no life instead.

Krenko, Tin Street Kingpin

Whenever Krenko, Tin Street Kingpin attacks, put a +1/+1 counter on it, then create a number of 1/1 red Goblin creature tokens equal to Krenko's power.

Descent into Avernus

At the beginning of your upkeep, put two descent counters on Descent into Avernus. Then each player creates X Treasure tokens and Descent into Avernus deals X damage to each player, where X is the number of descent counters on Descent into Avernus.

The Akroan War

(As this Saga enters and after your draw step, add a lore counter. Sacrifice after III.)
I — Gain control of target creature for as long as The Akroan War remains on the battlefield.
II — Until your next turn, creatures your opponents control attack each combat if able.
III — Each tapped creature deals damage to itself equal to its power.

The Red Terror

Advanced Species — Whenever a red source you control deals damage to one or more permanents and/or players, put a +1/+1 counter on The Red Terror.

The Flux

(As this Saga enters and after your draw step, add a lore counter. Sacrifice after VI.)
I — The Flux deals 4 damage to target creature an opponent controls.
II, III, IV, V — Exile the top card of your library. You may play that card this turn.
VI — Add six {R}.

Vandalblast

Destroy target artifact you don't control.
Overload {4}{R} (You may cast this spell for its overload cost. If you do, change "target" in its text to "each.")

Chaos Warp

The owner of target permanent shuffles it into their library, then reveals the top card of their library. If it's a permanent card, they put it onto the battlefield.

Gimli of the Glittering Caves

Double strike
Whenever another legendary creature enters the battlefield under your control, put a +1/+1 counter on Gimli of the Glittering Caves.
Whenever Gimli deals combat damage to a player, create a Treasure token.

Mirror March

Whenever a nontoken creature enters the battlefield under your control, flip a coin until you lose a flip. For each flip you won, create a token that's a copy of that creature. Those tokens gain haste. Exile them at the beginning of the next end step.

Wayfarer's Bauble

{2}, {T}, Sacrifice Wayfarer's Bauble: Search your library for a basic land card, put that card onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Tide of War

Whenever one or more creatures block, flip a coin. If you win the flip, each blocking creature is sacrificed by its controller. If you lose the flip, each blocked creature is sacrificed by its controller.

Cloud Key

As Cloud Key enters the battlefield, choose artifact, creature, enchantment, instant, or sorcery.
Spells you cast of the chosen type cost {1} less to cast.

Pandemonium

Whenever a creature enters the battlefield, that creature's controller may have it deal damage equal to its power to any target of their choice.

Warstorm Surge

Whenever a creature enters the battlefield under your control, it deals damage equal to its power to any target.

Rose Room Treasurer

Alliance — Whenever another creature enters the battlefield under your control, create a Treasure token if this is the first or second time this ability has resolved this turn. Otherwise, you may pay {X}. When you do, Rose Room Treasurer deals X damage to any target.

Game of Chaos

Flip a coin. If you win the flip, you gain 1 life and target opponent loses 1 life, and you decide whether to flip again. If you lose the flip, you lose 1 life and that opponent gains 1 life, and that player decides whether to flip again. Double the life stakes with each flip.

Seething Song

Abrade

Choose one —
• Abrade deals 3 damage to target creature.
• Destroy target artifact.

Planar Chaos

At the beginning of your upkeep, flip a coin. If you lose the flip, sacrifice Planar Chaos.
Whenever a player casts a spell, that player flips a coin. If they lose the flip, counter that spell.

Silent Arbiter

No more than one creature can attack each combat.
No more than one creature can block each combat.

Court of Embereth

When Court of Embereth enters the battlefield, you become the monarch.
At the beginning of your upkeep, create a 3/1 red Knight creature token. Then if you're the monarch, Court of Embereth deals X damage to each opponent, where X is the number of creatures you control.

Crooked Scales

{4}, {T}: Flip a coin. If you win the flip, destroy target creature an opponent controls. If you lose the flip, destroy target creature you control unless you pay {3} and repeat this process.

Outpost Siege

As Outpost Siege enters the battlefield, choose Khans or Dragons.
• Khans — At the beginning of your upkeep, exile the top card of your library. Until end of turn, you may play that card.
• Dragons — Whenever a creature you control leaves the battlefield, Outpost Siege deals 1 damage to any target.

Hamletback Goliath

Whenever another creature enters the battlefield, you may put X +1/+1 counters on Hamletback Goliath, where X is that creature's power.

War Elemental

When War Elemental enters the battlefield, sacrifice it unless an opponent was dealt damage this turn.
Whenever an opponent is dealt damage, put that many +1/+1 counters on War Elemental.

Purphoros, God of the Forge

Indestructible
As long as your devotion to red is less than five, Purphoros isn't a creature.
Whenever another creature enters the battlefield under your control, Purphoros deals 2 damage to each opponent.
{2}{R}: Creatures you control get +1/+0 until end of turn.

All Will Be One

Whenever you put one or more counters on a permanent or player, All Will Be One deals that much damage to target opponent, creature an opponent controls, or planeswalker an opponent controls.

Conjurer's Closet

At the beginning of your end step, you may exile target creature you control, then return that card to the battlefield under your control.

Treasure Nabber

Whenever an opponent taps an artifact for mana, gain control of that artifact until the end of your next turn.

Possibility Storm

Whenever a player casts a spell from their hand, that player exiles it, then exiles cards from the top of their library until they exile a card that shares a card type with it. That player may cast that card without paying its mana cost. Then they put all cards exiled with Possibility Storm on the bottom of their library in a random order.

Chandra, Awakened Inferno

This spell can't be countered.
+2: Each opponent gets an emblem with "At the beginning of your upkeep, this emblem deals 1 damage to you."
−3: Chandra, Awakened Inferno deals 3 damage to each non-Elemental creature.
−X: Chandra, Awakened Inferno deals X damage to target creature or planeswalker. If a permanent dealt damage this way would die this turn, exile it instead.

The Elder Dragon War

Read ahead (Choose a chapter and start with that many lore counters. Add one after your draw step. Skipped chapters don't trigger. Sacrifice after III.)
I — The Elder Dragon War deals 2 damage to each creature and each opponent.
II — Discard any number of cards, then draw that many cards.
III — Create a 4/4 red Dragon creature token with flying.

Squee, the Immortal

You may cast Squee, the Immortal from your graveyard or from exile.

Chance Encounter

Whenever you win a coin flip, put a luck counter on Chance Encounter.
At the beginning of your upkeep, if Chance Encounter has ten or more luck counters on it, you win the game.

Tibalt, Rakish Instigator

Your opponents can't gain life.
−2: Create a 1/1 red Devil creature token with "When this creature dies, it deals 1 damage to any target."

Song of Totentanz

Create X 1/1 black Rat creature tokens with "This creature can't block." Creatures you control gain haste until end of turn.

Panharmonicon

If an artifact or creature entering the battlefield causes a triggered ability of a permanent you control to trigger, that ability triggers an additional time.

Mana Geyser

Add {R} for each tapped land your opponents control.

Confusion in the Ranks

Whenever an artifact, creature, or enchantment enters the battlefield, its controller chooses target permanent another player controls that shares a card type with it. Exchange control of those permanents.

Price of Progress

Price of Progress deals damage to each player equal to twice the number of nonbasic lands that player controls.

Scrambleverse

For each nonland permanent, choose a player at random. Then each player gains control of each permanent for which they were chosen. Untap those permanents.

Krark's Thumb

If you would flip a coin, instead flip two coins and ignore one.

Impact Tremors

Whenever a creature enters the battlefield under your control, Impact Tremors deals 1 damage to each opponent.

Norin the Wary

When a player casts a spell or a creature attacks, exile Norin the Wary. Return it to the battlefield under its owner's control at the beginning of the next end step.