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Nuh Uh
End the turn. (Exile all spells and abilities from the stack, including this card. The player whose turn it is discards down to their maximum hand size. Damage wears off, and "this turn" and "until end of turn" effects end.) At the beginning of your next end step, you lose the game.
Nuh Uh
Utility
Whenever a nontoken artifact you control is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, create a colorless artifact token named Scrap. {1}{R}, Sacrifice an artifact: Choose one — • Put a +1/+1 counter on Farid. It gains menace until end of turn. • Goad target creature. • Discard a card, then draw a card.
Utility
Chaos
For each player, choose target nonenchantment, nonland permanent that player controls. Those permanents' owners shuffle them into their libraries. Each player who controlled one of those permanents exiles cards from the top of their library until they exile a nonland card, then puts the rest on the bottom of their library in a random order. Each player may cast the nonland card they exiled without paying its mana cost.
Whenever a player draws their second card each turn, that player exiles the top card of their library. During each player's turn, that player may cast a spell from among the cards they don't own exiled with Ian Malcolm, and mana of any type can be spent to cast it.
Each player may bid life for control of target creature. You start the bidding with a bid of 0. In turn order, each player may top the high bid. The bidding ends if the high bid stands. The high bidder loses life equal to the high bid and gains control of the creature. (This effect lasts indefinitely.)
Imprint — When this artifact enters, each player exiles the top three cards of their library. Whenever a player casts a spell from their hand, that player exiles it. If the player does, they may cast a spell from among other cards exiled with this artifact without paying its mana cost.
Whenever a player casts a spell from their hand, that player exiles it, then exiles cards from the top of their library until they exile a card that shares a card type with it. That player may cast that card without paying its mana cost. Then they put all cards exiled with this enchantment on the bottom of their library in a random order.
Each player shuffles all permanents they own into their library, then reveals that many cards from the top of their library. Each player puts all artifact, creature, and land cards revealed this way onto the battlefield, then does the same for enchantment cards, then puts all cards revealed this way that weren't put onto the battlefield on the bottom of their library.
Chaos
Ramp
This artifact can't be sacrificed. {1}, {T}: Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle. The player to your right gains control of this artifact. {2}, {T}: Draw a card. The player to your right gains control of this artifact.
Ramp
Win/Lose
Win/Lose
Draw
Draw
Switcheroo
Switcheroo
Land
Land
Things I Don't Want
At the beginning of your end step, target opponent gains control of this artifact and puts a charge counter on it. At the beginning of your upkeep, this artifact deals damage to you equal to the number of charge counters on it. {3}: Put a charge counter on this artifact or remove one from it.
Things I Don't Want
Sideboard
Berzerker — Khârn the Betrayer attacks or blocks each combat if able. Sigil of Corruption — When you lose control of Khârn the Betrayer, draw two cards. The Betrayer — If damage would be dealt to Khârn the Betrayer, prevent that damage and an opponent of your choice gains control of it.
When this enchantment enters and whenever an opponent loses the game, exile the top card of each player's library. During each player's turn, that player may play a land or cast a spell from among cards exiled with this enchantment, and they may spend mana as though it were mana of any color to cast that spell. When they do, exile the top card of their library.
When this artifact enters, if it was cast, target opponent creates a token that's a copy of it. Whenever an opponent who controls an artifact named Wedding Ring draws a card during their turn, you draw a card. Whenever an opponent who controls an artifact named Wedding Ring gains life during their turn, you gain that much life.
Destroy target permanent an opponent controls. Its controller reveals cards from the top of their library until they reveal a permanent card that shares a card type with that permanent. They put that card onto the battlefield and the rest on the bottom of their library in a random order.
{T}: Target opponent gains control of Yes Man. When they do, you draw two cards and put a quest counter on Yes Man. Activate only during your turn. Wild Card — When Yes Man leaves the battlefield, its owner creates a tapped 1/1 white Soldier creature token for each quest counter on it.
The owner of target artifact or creature with mana value 1 or greater shuffles it into their library. Then that player discovers X, where X is its mana value. (They exile cards from the top of their library until they exile a nonland card with that mana value or less. They cast it without paying its mana cost or put it into their hand. They put the rest on the bottom in a random order.)
Sideboard
Cutting Room Floor
When this enchantment enters, you become the monarch. At the beginning of your upkeep, choose up to one other target enchantment or artifact. If you're the monarch, you may create a token that's a copy of it. If you're not the monarch, you may have this enchantment become a copy of it, except it has this ability.
When this enchantment enters, you may exile target nonland permanent not named Detention Sphere and all other permanents with the same name as that permanent. When this enchantment leaves the battlefield, return the exiled cards to the battlefield under their owner's control.
At the beginning of your upkeep, if an opponent controls more lands than you, create a Treasure token. (It's an artifact with "{T}, Sacrifice this token: Add one mana of any color.") {2}{W}: Choose another player. That player gains control of target Treasure you control. You draw a card.
Cumulative upkeep—Pay 2 life. (At the beginning of your upkeep, put an age counter on this permanent, then sacrifice it unless you pay its upkeep cost for each age counter on it.) When this land enters, sacrifice a land. Creatures you control can't attack. Prevent all damage that would be dealt to you.
At the beginning of each opponent's end step, if that player controls more creatures than you, create a 1/1 white Soldier creature token. At the beginning of each opponent's end step, if that player controls more lands than you, you may search your library for a basic Plains card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.
Choose one — • Gain control of all creatures with power 4 or greater until end of turn. Untap those creatures. They gain haste until end of turn. • Gain control of all creatures with power 3 or less until end of turn. Untap those creatures. They gain haste until end of turn.
This artifact enters under the control of an opponent of your choice. {2}, {T}: Draw a card, then you may put a land card from your hand onto the battlefield. This artifact's owner draws a card, then that player may put a land card from their hand onto the battlefield.
At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player gains control of this enchantment. When you gain control of this enchantment from another player, choose a creature you control and an opponent. Flip a coin. If you lose the flip, that opponent gains control of that creature.
Exchange control of two target creatures you don't control. Flashback {8}{U}{U}. This spell costs {X} less to cast this way, where X is the greatest mana value of a commander you own on the battlefield or in the command zone. (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its flashback cost. Then exile it.)
{1}{W}: Search your library for an enchantment card and reveal that card. Put it into your hand, then discard a card at random. Then shuffle. {1}{U}: Search your library for an instant card and reveal that card. Put it into your hand, then discard a card at random. Then shuffle.
Cutting Room Floor
Pricey
Cumulative upkeep {2} (At the beginning of your upkeep, put an age counter on this permanent, then sacrifice it unless you pay its upkeep cost for each age counter on it.) When this enchantment enters, you gain 20 life. When this enchantment leaves the battlefield, you lose 20 life.
At the beginning of your upkeep, each opponent chooses money, friends, or secrets. For each player who chose money, you and that player each create a Treasure token. For each player who chose friends, you and that player each create a 1/1 green and white Citizen creature token. For each player who chose secrets, you and that player each draw a card.
Cumulative upkeep {1} (At the beginning of your upkeep, put an age counter on this permanent, then sacrifice it unless you pay its upkeep cost for each age counter on it.) Whenever an opponent casts a noncreature spell, you may draw a card unless that player pays {4}.
Imprint — Whenever a player casts an instant or sorcery spell from their hand, exile it instead of putting it into a graveyard as it resolves. At the beginning of your upkeep, if there are four or more cards exiled with this artifact, choose one of them at random. You may cast it without paying its mana cost.
Until your next turn, your life total can't change and you gain protection from everything. All permanents you control phase out. (While they're phased out, they're treated as though they don't exist. They phase in before you untap during your untap step.) Exile Teferi's Protection.
When this creature enters, look at the top X cards of your library, where X is your devotion to blue. Put up to one of them on top of your library and the rest on the bottom of your library in a random order. If X is greater than or equal to the number of cards in your library, you win the game. (Each {U} in the mana costs of permanents you control counts toward your devotion to blue.)
Indestructible When The One Ring enters, if you cast it, you gain protection from everything until your next turn. At the beginning of your upkeep, you lose 1 life for each burden counter on The One Ring. {T}: Put a burden counter on The One Ring, then draw a card for each burden counter on The One Ring.
Cumulative upkeep—Exile the top card of your library. (At the beginning of your upkeep, put an age counter on this permanent, then sacrifice it unless you pay its upkeep cost for each age counter on it.) When a player doesn't pay this enchantment's cumulative upkeep, that player exiles all cards from their library. Exile the top card of your library: Prevent the next 1 damage that would be dealt to you this turn.
