Guff Rewrites History

For each player, choose target nonenchantment, nonland permanent that player controls. Those permanents' owners shuffle them into their libraries. Each player who controlled one of those permanents exiles cards from the top of their library until they exile a nonland card, then puts the rest on the bottom of their library in a random order. Each player may cast the nonland card they exiled without paying its mana cost.

Banquet Guests

Affinity for Food (This spell costs {1} less to cast for each Food you control.)
Trample
Banquet Guests enters with twice X +1/+1 counters on it.
{2}, Sacrifice a Food: Banquet Guests gains indestructible until end of turn.

Bonehoard Dracosaur

Flying, first strike
At the beginning of your upkeep, exile the top two cards of your library. You may play them this turn. If you exiled a land card this way, create a 3/1 red Dinosaur creature token. If you exiled a nonland card this way, create a Treasure token.

Gyre Sage

Evolve (Whenever a creature you control enters, if that creature has greater power or toughness than this creature, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature.)
{T}: Add {G} for each +1/+1 counter on Gyre Sage.

Temple Garden

({T}: Add {G} or {W}.)
As Temple Garden enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Passionate Archaeologist

Commander creatures you own have "Whenever you cast a spell from exile, this creature deals damage equal to that spell's mana value to target opponent."

Shalai and Hallar

Flying, vigilance
Whenever one or more +1/+1 counters are put on a creature you control, Shalai and Hallar deals that much damage to target opponent.

Killer Service

When Killer Service enters, create a number of Food tokens equal to the number of opponents you have. (They're artifacts with "{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.")
At the beginning of your end step, you may pay {2} and sacrifice a token. If you do, create a 4/4 green Rhino Warrior creature token.

Wild-Magic Sorcerer

The first spell you cast from exile each turn has cascade. (When you cast your first spell from exile, exile cards from the top of your library until you exile a nonland card that costs less. You may cast it without paying its mana cost. Put the exiled cards on the bottom in a random order.)

Jetmir's Garden

({T}: Add {R}, {G}, or {W}.)
Jetmir's Garden enters tapped.
Cycling {3} ({3}, Discard this card: Draw a card.)

Arcane Signet

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Hardened Scales

If one or more +1/+1 counters would be put on a creature you control, that many plus one +1/+1 counters are put on it instead.

Bountiful Promenade

Bountiful Promenade enters tapped unless you have two or more opponents.
{T}: Add {G} or {W}.

Academy Manufactor

If you would create a Clue, Food, or Treasure token, instead create one of each.

Jaheira, Friend of the Forest

Tokens you control have "{T}: Add {G}."
Choose a Background (You can have a Background as a second commander.)

Laelia, the Blade Reforged

Haste
Whenever Laelia, the Blade Reforged attacks, exile the top card of your library. You may play that card this turn.
Whenever one or more cards are put into exile from your library and/or your graveyard, put a +1/+1 counter on Laelia.

Sol Ring

Damning Verdict

Destroy all creatures with no counters on them.

Kami of Celebration

Whenever a modified creature you control attacks, exile the top card of your library. You may play that card this turn. (Equipment, Auras you control, and counters are modifications.)
Whenever you cast a spell from exile, put a +1/+1 counter on target creature you control.

Canopy Vista

({T}: Add {G} or {W}.)
Canopy Vista enters tapped unless you control two or more basic lands.

Idol of Oblivion

{T}: Draw a card. Activate only if you created a token this turn.
{8}, {T}, Sacrifice Idol of Oblivion: Create a 10/10 colorless Eldrazi creature token.

Yotian Dissident

Whenever an artifact you control enters, put a +1/+1 counter on target creature you control.

Trail of Crumbs

When Trail of Crumbs enters, create a Food token. (It's an artifact with "{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.")
Whenever you sacrifice a Food, you may pay {1}. If you do, look at the top two cards of your library. You may reveal a permanent card from among them and put it into your hand. Put the rest on the bottom of your library in any order.

Plargg and Nassari

At the beginning of your upkeep, each player exiles cards from the top of their library until they exile a nonland card. An opponent chooses a nonland card exiled this way. You may cast up to two spells from among the other cards exiled this way without paying their mana costs.

Kami of Whispered Hopes

If one or more +1/+1 counters would be put on a permanent you control, that many plus one +1/+1 counters are put on that permanent instead.
{T}: Add X mana of any one color, where X is Kami of Whispered Hopes's power.

Jeska's Will

Choose one. If you control a commander as you cast this spell, you may choose both instead.
• Add {R} for each card in target opponent's hand.
• Exile the top three cards of your library. You may play them this turn.

Three Visits

Search your library for a Forest card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

Gilded Goose

Flying
When Gilded Goose enters, create a Food token. (It's an artifact with "{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.")
{1}{G}, {T}: Create a Food token.
{T}, Sacrifice a Food: Add one mana of any color.

Jungle Shrine

Jungle Shrine enters tapped.
{T}: Add {R}, {G}, or {W}.

Rosie Cotton of South Lane

When Rosie Cotton of South Lane enters, create a Food token. (It's an artifact with "{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.")
Whenever you create a token, put a +1/+1 counter on target creature you control other than Rosie.

Rootbound Crag

Rootbound Crag enters tapped unless you control a Mountain or a Forest.
{T}: Add {R} or {G}.

Mountain

Battlefield Forge

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {R} or {W}. Battlefield Forge deals 1 damage to you.

Farseek

Search your library for a Plains, Island, Swamp, or Mountain card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Sunpetal Grove

Sunpetal Grove enters tapped unless you control a Forest or a Plains.
{T}: Add {G} or {W}.

Stomping Ground

({T}: Add {R} or {G}.)
As Stomping Ground enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Plains

Call Forth the Tempest

Cascade, cascade (When you cast this spell, exile cards from the top of your library until you exile a nonland card that costs less. You may cast it without paying its mana cost. Put the exiled cards on the bottom of your library in a random order. Then do it again.)
Call Forth the Tempest deals damage to each creature your opponents control equal to the total mana value of other spells you've cast this turn.

Dusk Legion Duelist

Vigilance
Whenever one or more +1/+1 counters are put on Dusk Legion Duelist, draw a card. This ability triggers only once each turn.

Soul Partition

Exile target nonland permanent. For as long as that card remains exiled, its owner may play it. A spell cast by an opponent this way costs {2} more to cast.

Retrieve Prey

Exile target creature card from your graveyard. Until the end of your next turn, you may cast that card. (Then exile this card. You may cast the creature later from exile.)

Tlincalli Hunter

Trample
Once each turn, you may pay {0} rather than pay the mana cost for a creature spell you cast from exile.

Tlincalli Hunter // Retrieve Prey

Karplusan Forest

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {R} or {G}. Karplusan Forest deals 1 damage to you.

Hedron Detonator

Whenever an artifact you control enters, Hedron Detonator deals 1 damage to target opponent.
{T}, Sacrifice two artifacts: Exile the top card of your library. You may play that card this turn.

Incubation Druid

{T}: Add one mana of any type that a land you control could produce. If Incubation Druid has a +1/+1 counter on it, add three mana of that type instead.
{3}{G}{G}: Adapt 3. (If this creature has no +1/+1 counters on it, put three +1/+1 counters on it.)

Inspiring Statuary

Nonartifact spells you cast have improvise. (Your artifacts can help cast those spells. Each artifact you tap after you're done activating mana abilities pays for {1}.)

Pia Nalaar, Consul of Revival

Thopters you control have haste.
Whenever you play a land from exile or cast a spell from exile, create a 1/1 colorless Thopter artifact creature token with flying.

Etali, Primal Storm

Whenever Etali attacks, exile the top card of each player's library, then you may cast any number of spells from among those cards without paying their mana costs.

Aerial Extortionist

Flying
Whenever Aerial Extortionist enters or deals combat damage to a player, exile up to one target nonland permanent. For as long as that card remains exiled, its owner may cast it.
Whenever another player casts a spell from anywhere other than their hand, draw a card.

Cultivate

Search your library for up to two basic land cards, reveal those cards, put one onto the battlefield tapped and the other into your hand, then shuffle.

Sacred Foundry

({T}: Add {R} or {W}.)
As Sacred Foundry enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Spire Garden

Spire Garden enters tapped unless you have two or more opponents.
{T}: Add {R} or {G}.

Command Tower

Seek the Beast

Exile the top two cards of your library. Until your next end step, you may play those cards.

Questing Druid

Whenever you cast a spell that's white, blue, black, or red, put a +1/+1 counter on Questing Druid.

Questing Druid // Seek the Beast

Nalfeshnee

Flying
Whenever you cast a spell from exile, copy it. You may choose new targets for the copy. If it's a permanent spell, the copy gains haste and "At the beginning of the end step, sacrifice this permanent." (A copy of a permanent spell becomes a token.)

Breya's Apprentice

When Breya's Apprentice enters, create a 1/1 colorless Thopter artifact creature token with flying.
{T}, Sacrifice an artifact: Choose one —
• Exile the top card of your library. Until the end of your next turn, you may play that card.
• Target creature gets +2/+0 until end of turn.

Etali, Primal Sickness

Trample, indestructible
Whenever Etali, Primal Sickness deals combat damage to a player, they get that many poison counters. (A player with ten or more poison counters loses the game.)

Etali, Primal Conqueror

Trample
When Etali, Primal Conqueror enters, each player exiles cards from the top of their library until they exile a nonland card. You may cast any number of spells from among the nonland cards exiled this way without paying their mana costs.
{9}{G/P}: Transform Etali. Activate only as a sorcery.

Etali, Primal Conqueror // Etali, Primal Sickness

Urabrask, Heretic Praetor

Haste
At the beginning of your upkeep, exile the top card of your library. You may play it this turn.
At the beginning of each opponent's upkeep, the next time they would draw a card this turn, instead they exile the top card of their library. They may play it this turn.

Tireless Provisioner

Landfall — Whenever a land you control enters, create a Food token or a Treasure token. (Food is an artifact with "{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life." Treasure is an artifact with "{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.")

Ghirapur Aether Grid

Tap two untapped artifacts you control: Ghirapur Aether Grid deals 1 damage to any target.

Spinerock Knoll

Hideaway 4 (When this land enters, look at the top four cards of your library, exile one face down, then put the rest on the bottom in a random order.)
Spinerock Knoll enters tapped.
{T}: Add {R}.
{R}, {T}: You may play the exiled card without paying its mana cost if an opponent was dealt 7 or more damage this turn.

Rocco, Street Chef

At the beginning of your end step, each player exiles the top card of their library. Until your next end step, each player may play the card they exiled this way.
Whenever a player plays a land from exile or casts a spell from exile, you put a +1/+1 counter on target creature and create a Food token. (It's an artifact with "{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.")

Night of the Sweets' Revenge

When Night of the Sweets' Revenge enters, create a Food token. (It's an artifact with "{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.")
Foods you control have "{T}: Add {G}."
{5}{G}{G}, Sacrifice Night of the Sweets' Revenge: Creatures you control get +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the number of Foods you control. Activate only as a sorcery.

Path to Exile

Exile target creature. Its controller may search their library for a basic land card, put that card onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Conclave Mentor

If one or more +1/+1 counters would be put on a creature you control, that many plus one +1/+1 counters are put on that creature instead.
When Conclave Mentor dies, you gain life equal to its power.

Delayed Blast Fireball

Delayed Blast Fireball deals 2 damage to each opponent and each creature they control. If this spell was cast from exile, it deals 5 damage to each opponent and each creature they control instead.
Foretell {4}{R}{R} (During your turn, you may pay {2} and exile this card from your hand face down. Cast it on a later turn for its foretell cost.)

Nature's Lore

Search your library for a Forest card, put that card onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

Herd Baloth

Whenever one or more +1/+1 counters are put on Herd Baloth, you may create a 4/4 green Beast creature token.

Reckless Fireweaver

Whenever an artifact you control enters, Reckless Fireweaver deals 1 damage to each opponent.

Forest

Ozolith, the Shattered Spire

If one or more +1/+1 counters would be put on an artifact or creature you control, that many plus one +1/+1 counters are put on it instead.
{1}{G}, {T}: Put a +1/+1 counter on target artifact or creature you control. Activate only as a sorcery.
Cycling {2} ({2}, Discard this card: Draw a card.)

Overgrown Farmland

Overgrown Farmland enters tapped unless you control two or more other lands.
{T}: Add {G} or {W}.

Share the Spoils

When Share the Spoils enters and whenever an opponent loses the game, exile the top card of each player's library.
During each player's turn, that player may play a land or cast a spell from among cards exiled with Share the Spoils, and they may spend mana as though it were mana of any color to cast that spell. When they do, exile the top card of their library.

Generous Gift

Destroy target permanent. Its controller creates a 3/3 green Elephant creature token.

Mosswort Bridge

Hideaway 4 (When this land enters, look at the top four cards of your library, exile one face down, then put the rest on the bottom in a random order.)
Mosswort Bridge enters tapped.
{T}: Add {G}.
{G}, {T}: You may play the exiled card without paying its mana cost if creatures you control have total power 10 or greater.

Spectator Seating

Spectator Seating enters tapped unless you have two or more opponents.
{T}: Add {R} or {W}.

Swords to Plowshares

Exile target creature. Its controller gains life equal to its power.

Wrenn's Resolve

Exile the top two cards of your library. Until the end of your next turn, you may play those cards.

Clifftop Retreat

Clifftop Retreat enters tapped unless you control a Mountain or a Plains.
{T}: Add {R} or {W}.

Cinder Glade

({T}: Add {R} or {G}.)
Cinder Glade enters tapped unless you control two or more basic lands.

Exotic Orchard

{T}: Add one mana of any color that a land an opponent controls could produce.

The Shire

The Shire enters tapped unless you control a legendary creature.
{T}: Add {G}.
{1}{G}, {T}, Tap an untapped creature you control: Create a Food token.

Nuka-Cola Vending Machine

{1}, {T}: Create a Food token. (It's an artifact with "{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.")
Whenever you sacrifice a Food, create a tapped Treasure token. (It's an artifact with "{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.")

Peregrin Took

If one or more tokens would be created under your control, those tokens plus an additional Food token are created instead. (It's an artifact with "{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.")
Sacrifice three Foods: Draw a card.

Swiftfoot Boots

Equipped creature has hexproof and haste. (It can't be the target of spells or abilities your opponents control. It can attack and {T} no matter when it came under your control.)
Equip {1} ({1}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Escape to the Wilds

Exile the top five cards of your library. You may play cards exiled this way until the end of your next turn.
You may play an additional land this turn.

Inspiring Call

Draw a card for each creature you control with a +1/+1 counter on it. Those creatures gain indestructible until end of turn. (Damage and effects that say "destroy" don't destroy them.)

Faldorn, Dread Wolf Herald

Whenever you cast a spell from exile or a land you control enters from exile, create a 2/2 green Wolf creature token.
{1}, {T}, Discard a card: Exile the top card of your library. You may play it this turn.

Rockfall Vale

Rockfall Vale enters tapped unless you control two or more other lands.
{T}: Add {R} or {G}.

Beast Within

Destroy target permanent. Its controller creates a 3/3 green Beast creature token.

Samwise Gamgee

Whenever another nontoken creature you control enters, create a Food token. (It's an artifact with "{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.")
Sacrifice three Foods: Return target historic card from your graveyard to your hand. (Artifacts, legendaries, and Sagas are historic.)