Meddling Kids

As Meddling Kids enters, choose a word with four or more letters.
Spells with the chosen word in their text box can't be cast.

Artful Looter

{T}: Draw a card, then discard a card.
Whenever a permanent that shares an artist with another permanent you control enters, untap Artful Looter.

Trading Post

{1}, {T}, Discard a card: You gain 4 life.
{1}, {T}, Pay 1 life: Create a 0/1 white Goat creature token.
{1}, {T}, Sacrifice a creature: Return target artifact card from your graveyard to your hand.
{1}, {T}, Sacrifice an artifact: Draw a card.

Mise

Choose a nonland card name, then reveal the top card of your library. If that card has the chosen name, you draw three cards.

Mordenkainen

+2: Draw two cards, then put a card from your hand on the bottom of your library.
−2: Create a blue Dog Illusion creature token with "This creature's power and toughness are each equal to twice the number of cards in your hand."
−10: Exchange your hand and library, then shuffle. You get an emblem with "You have no maximum hand size."

Crow Storm

Create a 1/2 blue Bird creature token with flying named Storm Crow.
Storm (When you cast this spell, copy it for each spell cast before it this turn.)

Mad Science Fair Project

{T}: Roll a six-sided die. On a 3 or lower, target player adds {C}. Otherwise, that player adds one mana of any color they choose.

Underdome

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to pay Un-costs.

Arcane Signet

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Hidden Retreat

Put a card from your hand on top of your library: Prevent all damage that would be dealt by target instant or sorcery spell this turn.

Irrigated Farmland

({T}: Add {W} or {U}.)
Irrigated Farmland enters tapped.
Cycling {2} ({2}, Discard this card: Draw a card.)

Blurry Beeble

Blurry (This creature can be blocked only if defending player was wearing glasses as it was cast.)
Whenever Blurry Beeble deals combat damage to a player, you may draw a card. If you do, discard a card.

Prairie Stream

({T}: Add {W} or {U}.)
Prairie Stream enters tapped unless you control two or more basic lands.

Now I Know My ABC's

At the beginning of your upkeep, if you control permanents with names that include all twenty-six letters of the English alphabet, you win the game.

The Big Top

{T}: Add one mana of any color that appears on your top. (A top is an outerwear garment worn on the upper body.)

Library of Leng

You have no maximum hand size.
If an effect causes you to discard a card, discard it, but you may put it on top of your library instead of into your graveyard.

Stuffy Doll

Indestructible
As Stuffy Doll enters, choose a player.
Whenever Stuffy Doll is dealt damage, it deals that much damage to the chosen player.
{T}: Stuffy Doll deals 1 damage to itself.

Web of Inertia

At the beginning of combat on each opponent's turn, that player may exile a card from their graveyard. If the player doesn't, creatures they control can't attack you this turn.

Rout

You may cast Rout as though it had flash if you pay {2} more to cast it. (You may cast it any time you could cast an instant.)
Destroy all creatures. They can't be regenerated.

Solitary Confinement

At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice Solitary Confinement unless you discard a card.
Skip your draw step.
You have shroud. (You can't be the target of spells or abilities.)
Prevent all damage that would be dealt to you.

Border Guardian

Whenever you cast a silver-bordered spell, put a +1/+1 counter on Border Guardian.
Whenever you cast a black-bordered spell, Border Guardian can't be blocked this turn.
Whenever you cast a white-bordered spell, Border Guardian gains double strike until end of turn.

Labro Bot

When this creature enters, return target host card or card with augment from your graveyard to your hand.

Lilting Refrain

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may put a verse counter on Lilting Refrain.
Sacrifice Lilting Refrain: Counter target spell unless its controller pays {X}, where X is the number of verse counters on Lilting Refrain.

Handy Dandy Clone Machine

{2}, {T}: Create a 2/2 colorless Homunculus creature token. It must be represented by a unique hand and two fingers at all times, or it ceases to exist.

Bosom Buddy

Whenever you cast a spell, you may gain ½ life for each word in that spell's name.

Bureaucracy

Pursuant to subsection 3.1(4) of Richard's Rules of Order, at the beginning of the upkeep of each participant in this game of the Magic: The Gathering® trading card game (hereafter known as "PLAYER"), that PLAYER performs all actions in the sequence of previously added actions (hereafter known as "ACTION QUEUE"), in the order those actions were added, then adds another action to the end of the ACTION QUEUE. All actions must be simple physical or verbal actions that a player can perform while sitting in a chair, without jeopardizing the health and security of said PLAYER.
When any PLAYER does not perform all the prescribed actions in the correct order, sacrifice Bureaucracy and said PLAYER discards their complement of cards in hand (hereafter known as "HAND").

Thought Vessel

You have no maximum hand size.
{T}: Add {C}.

Half-Kitten, Half-

Whenever you're dealt damage,
Augment {2}{W} ({2}{W}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Head to Head

You and target opponent play Seven Questions with the top card of that player's library. If you win, prevent all damage that would be dealt this turn by a source of your choice. (To play Seven Questions, that player looks at the card, then you ask up to six yes-or-no questions about the card that they answer truthfully. You guess the card's name—that's question seven—then the player reveals the card.)

Illuminated Folio

{1}, {T}, Reveal two cards from your hand that share a color: Draw a card.

Marble Diamond

Marble Diamond enters tapped.
{T}: Add {W}.

Robo-

At the beginning of each end step, if an artifact entered the battlefield under your control this turn,
Augment {2} ({2}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Azorius Cluestone

{T}: Add {W} or {U}.
{W}{U}, {T}, Sacrifice Azorius Cluestone: Draw a card.

Do-It-Yourself Seraph

Flying
Whenever Do-It-Yourself Seraph attacks, you may search your library for an artifact card, exile it, then shuffle.
Do-It-Yourself Seraph has the text box of each card exiled with Do-It-Yourself Seraph in addition to its own.

Angelic Rocket

Flying
When this creature enters, you may destroy target nonland permanent.

Teacher's Pet

{2}{W}, Sacrifice Teacher's Pet: Search your library for a card with augment, combine it with target host you control, then shuffle.

Steam-Powered

{5}:
Augment {4} ({4}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Azorius Signet

Guile

Guile can't be blocked except by three or more creatures.
If a spell or ability you control would counter a spell, instead exile that spell and you may play that card without paying its mana cost.
When Guile is put into a graveyard from anywhere, shuffle it into its owner's library.

Smart Ass

Whenever Smart Ass attacks, choose a card name. If defending player has no cards with the chosen name in their hand, they may reveal their hand. If they don't reveal their hand, Smart Ass can't be blocked this turn.

Quest for Ancient Secrets

Whenever a card is put into your graveyard from anywhere, you may put a quest counter on Quest for Ancient Secrets.
Remove five quest counters from Quest for Ancient Secrets and sacrifice it: Target player shuffles their graveyard into their library.

Conqueror's Foothold

(Transforms from Conqueror's Galleon.)
{T}: Add {C}.
{2}, {T}: Draw a card, then discard a card.
{4}, {T}: Draw a card.
{6}, {T}: Return target card from your graveyard to your hand.

Conqueror's Galleon

When Conqueror's Galleon attacks, exile it at end of combat, then return it to the battlefield transformed under your control.
Crew 4 (Tap any number of creatures you control with total power 4 or more: This Vehicle becomes an artifact creature until end of turn.)

Conqueror's Galleon // Conqueror's Foothold

Dig Through Time

Delve (Each card you exile from your graveyard while casting this spell pays for {1}.)
Look at the top seven cards of your library. Put two of them into your hand and the rest on the bottom of your library in any order.

Forget

Target player discards two cards, then draws as many cards as they discarded this way.

Split Screen

When Split Screen enters, shuffle your library and deal it into four libraries. If anything refers to your library, choose one of your libraries for it.
Play with your libraries' top cards revealed.
When Split Screen leaves the battlefield, shuffle your libraries together.

Greater Morphling

{2}: Greater Morphling gains your choice of banding, bushido 1, double strike, fear, flying, first strike, haste, landwalk of your choice, protection from a color of your choice, provoke, rampage 1, shadow, or trample until end of turn.
{2}: Greater Morphling becomes the colors of your choice until end of turn.
{2}: Greater Morphling becomes the creature type of your choice until end of turn.
{2}: Greater Morphling's expansion symbol becomes the symbol of your choice until end of turn.
{2}: Greater Morphling's art becomes by the artist of your choice until end of turn.
{2}: Greater Morphling gets +2/-2 or -2/+2 until end of turn.
{2}: Untap Greater Morphling.

Island

Bag of Holding

Whenever you discard a card, exile that card from your graveyard.
{2}, {T}: Draw a card, then discard a card.
{4}, {T}, Sacrifice Bag of Holding: Return all cards exiled with Bag of Holding to their owner's hand.

Magical Hacker

{U}: Change the text of target spell or permanent by replacing all instances of + with -, and vice versa, until end of turn.

Sensei's Divining Top

{1}: Look at the top three cards of your library, then put them back in any order.
{T}: Draw a card, then put Sensei's Divining Top on top of its owner's library.

Common Courtesy

Whenever a player casts a spell without asking your permission while casting it, counter that spell.
When a player asks you permission to cast a spell and you refuse, counter that spell and sacrifice Common Courtesy.

Shaggy Camel

When this creature enters, creatures you control get +1/+1 until end of turn.

Halimar Depths

Halimar Depths enters tapped.
When Halimar Depths enters, look at the top three cards of your library, then put them back in any order.
{T}: Add {U}.

Elixir of Immortality

{2}, {T}: You gain 5 life. Shuffle Elixir of Immortality and your graveyard into their owner's library.

Staff of the Letter Magus

As Staff of the Letter Magus enters, choose a consonant other than N, R, S, or T.
Whenever a player casts a spell, you gain 1 life for each time the chosen letter appears in that spell's name.

Recall

Discard X cards, then return a card from your graveyard to your hand for each card discarded this way. Exile Recall.

Plains

Flux

Each player discards any number of cards, then draws that many cards.
Draw a card.

Pariah's Shield

All damage that would be dealt to you is dealt to equipped creature instead.
Equip {3}

Fact or Fiction

Reveal the top five cards of your library. An opponent separates those cards into two piles. Put one pile into your hand and the other into your graveyard.

Rules Lawyer

State-based actions don't apply to you or other permanents you control. (You don't lose the game due to having 0 or less life or drawing from an empty library. Your creatures aren't destroyed due to damage or deathtouch and aren't put into a graveyard due to having 0 or less toughness. Your planeswalkers aren't put into a graveyard if they have 0 loyalty. You don't put a legendary permanent into a graveyard if you control two with the same name. Counters aren't removed from your permanents due to game rules. Permanents you control attached or combined illegally remain on the battlefield. For complete rules and regulations, see rule 704.)

Park Re-Entry

Return up to two target creature cards that each have a hat and/or mana value 3 or less from your graveyard to the battlefield.

Hedron Archive

{T}: Add {C}{C}.
{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Draw two cards.

Sunken Field

Enchant land
Enchanted land has "{T}: Counter target spell unless its controller pays {1}."

Darksteel Ingot

Indestructible (Effects that say "destroy" don't destroy this artifact.)
{T}: Add one mana of any color.

Counterbalance

Whenever an opponent casts a spell, you may reveal the top card of your library. If you do, counter that spell if it has the same mana value as the revealed card.

Visitor from Planet Q

All creature cards you own with flash are instants in addition to their other types.
Whenever you cast another spell with two or more card types, you may draw a card, then discard a card.

Ponder

Look at the top three cards of your library, then put them back in any order. You may shuffle.
Draw a card.

Frankie Peanuts

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may ask target player a yes-or-no question. If you do, that player answers the question truthfully and abides by that answer if able until end of turn.

Busted!

Counter target spell unless its controller pays {X}, where X is the number of words in the name with the most words among permanents you control.

Look at Me, I'm R&D

As Look at Me, I'm R&D comes into play, choose a number and a second number one higher or one lower than that number.
All instances of the first chosen number on permanents, spells, and cards in any zone are the second chosen number.

Rhino-

Whenever this creature blocks,
Augment {3}{W} ({3}{W}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Flavor Judge

{T}: Choose target spell or ability that targets a permanent you control. Then ask a person outside the game if the story of what will happen makes sense. If they say no, sacrifice Flavor Judge and counter that spell or ability.

Careful Study

GO TO JAIL

When GO TO JAIL enters, exile target creature an opponent controls until GO TO JAIL leaves the battlefield.
At the beginning of the upkeep of the exiled card's owner, that player rolls two six-sided dice. If they roll doubles, sacrifice GO TO JAIL.

Zur's Weirding

Players play with their hands revealed.
If a player would draw a card, they reveal it instead. Then any other player may pay 2 life. If a player does, put that card into its owner's graveyard. Otherwise, that player draws a card.

Reckless Scholar

{T}: Target player draws a card, then discards a card.

Number Crunch

Return target permanent to its owner's hand.
Gotcha — If an opponent says a number, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Number Crunch from your graveyard to your hand.

Aquamoeba

Discard a card: Switch Aquamoeba's power and toughness until end of turn.

Erase (Not the Urza's Legacy One)

If you control two or more white permanents that share an artist, you may cast this spell without paying its mana cost.
Exile target enchantment.

Talisman of Progress

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {W} or {U}. Talisman of Progress deals 1 damage to you.

Half-Shark, Half-

At the beginning of your upkeep,
Augment {5}{U} ({5}{U}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Sky Diamond

Fog Bank

Defender (This creature can't attack.)
Flying
Prevent all combat damage that would be dealt to and dealt by this creature.

The Grand Calcutron

The Grand Calcutron can be your commander.
When The Grand Calcutron enters, each player's hand becomes a program (an ordered row of revealed cards).
Players can only play the first card of their program.
If a card would be put into a player's hand from anywhere, that player reveals it and places it anywhere within their program instead.
At the beginning of each player's end step, if that player's program has fewer than five cards, they draw cards equal to the difference.

Animate Library

Enchant your library
Enchanted library is an artifact creature on the battlefield with power and toughness each equal to the number of cards in it. It's still a library.
If enchanted library would leave the battlefield, exile Animate Library instead.

War Tax

{X}{U}: This turn, creatures can't attack unless their controller pays {X} for each attacking creature they control.

Mana Screw

{1}: Flip a coin. If you win the flip, add {C}{C}. Activate only as an instant.

Ambiguity

Whenever a player plays a spell that counters a spell that has been played or a player plays a spell that comes into play with counters, that player may counter the next spell played or put an additional counter on a permanent that has already been played, but not countered.

Clocknapper

When Clocknapper enters, choose beginning phase, first main phase, combat phase, postcombat main phase, or ending phase. Steal that phase from target player during their next turn. (That phase occurs as though it's your turn instead.)

Cephalid Looter

Flaccify

Counter target spell unless its controller pays {3}{½}.

By Gnome Means

{1}{W}, Remove a counter from a permanent you control: Create a 1/1 colorless Gnome artifact creature token.
{1}{W}, Sacrifice an artifact: Choose any kind of counter a printed card refers to, then put one of that counter on target permanent.

Humming-

Flying
Whenever you attack with two or more creatures,
Augment {3}{W} ({3}{W}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Hot Fix

You have ten seconds to look at and rearrange the cards in your library. At the end of those ten seconds, if you're touching one or more of those cards, shuffle.

Voracious Vacuum

When this creature enters, put a +1/+1 counter on target creature.

Spell Counter

Counter target spell.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "spell" or "counter," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Spell Counter from your graveyard to your hand.

Loose Lips

Enchant creature
As Loose Lips enters, choose a sentence with eight or fewer words.
Enchanted creature has flying.
Whenever enchanted creature deals damage to an opponent, that player may say the chosen sentence. If they don't, you draw two cards.

AWOL

Exile target attacking creature. Then remove it from the game. Then put it into the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game-forever zone.

Frantic Search

Draw two cards, then discard two cards. Untap up to three lands.

Ordinary Pony

When this creature enters, you may exile target non-Horse creature you control that wasn't put onto the battlefield with this ability this turn, then return it to the battlefield under its owner's control.

Wall of Denial

Defender, flying
Shroud (This creature can't be the target of spells or abilities.)