Gray Merchant of Alphabet

When Gray Merchant of Alphabet enters, choose a letter. For each creature you control that has the chosen letter in its name, you gain 1 life and each opponent loses 1 life.

Sap Sucker

Whenever you crank Sap Sucker, add {G}. Until end of turn, you don't lose this mana as steps and phases end.

Robo-

At the beginning of each end step, if an artifact entered the battlefield under your control this turn,
Augment {2} ({2}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Thud-for-Duds

Whenever you crank Thud-for-Duds, roll two six-sided dice. Thud-for-Duds deals damage to target creature equal to the difference between those results.

Beast in Show

capital offense

target creature gets -x/-x until end of turn, where x is the number of times a capital letter appears in its rules text. (ignore reminder text and flavor text.)

Amateur Auteur

Sacrifice Amateur Auteur: Destroy target enchantment.

The Space Family Goblinson

The Space Family Goblinson has trample as long as you've rolled three or more dice this turn.
Whenever you roll a die, put a +1/+1 counter on The Space Family Goblinson.

Knight of the Kitchen Sink

First strike, protection from loose lips (Nothing with an open mouth in its artwork can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

Dispatch Dispensary

Whenever you crank Dispatch Dispensary, create a 2/2 black Rogue creature token with menace.

Atomwheel Acrobats

Whenever you roll a 1 or 2, put that many +1/+1 counters on Atomwheel Acrobats.
{2}{G}: Roll a six-sided die.

Teacher's Pet

{2}{W}, Sacrifice Teacher's Pet: Search your library for a card with augment, combine it with target host you control, then shuffle.

Defective Detective

Defective Detective can't be blocked.
When Defective Detective enters, a person outside the game looks at target opponent's hand and chooses a card from it. That player reveals that card.

Willing Test Subject

Reach
Whenever you roll a 4 or higher on a die, put a +1/+1 counter on Willing Test Subject.
{6}: Roll a six-sided die.

Optical Optimizer

Whenever you crank Optical Optimizer, until end of turn, target creature becomes an artifact in addition to its other types and gains "{T}: Draw a card."

Richard Garfield, Ph.D.

You may play cards as though they were other cards of your choice with the same mana cost. You can't choose the same card twice. (Mana cost includes color.)

Big Boa Constrictor

When this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. Target opponent loses life equal to the result.

Multi-Headed

At the beginning of each end step, if you rolled a die this turn,
Augment {4}{G} ({4}{G}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Joyride Rigger

When Joyride Rigger enters, it assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Entirely Normal Armchair

During your turn, if Entirely Normal Armchair is in your hand, you may hide it on the battlefield.
{0}: Return Entirely Normal Armchair to its owner's hand. Only your opponents may activate this ability and only if they see Entirely Normal Armchair.
{2}, Sacrifice Entirely Normal Armchair: Destroy target attacking creature.

Trapeze Artist

Flying
Trapeze Artist enters by being flipped from a height of at least one foot (about 0.3 meters). If it lands face down or didn't turn over completely at least once during the flip, return it to its owner's hand.

Don't Try This at Home

If a hot source you control would deal damage to a permanent or player, it deals that much damage plus 1 instead. (Something is hot if it has hot things in its art, like fire or explosions.)
{1}{R}, Sacrifice Don't Try This at Home: It deals damage equal to twice the number of hot cards in your graveyard to target creature or planeswalker.

A Real Handful

As long as one or more hands are touching A Real Handful, it gets +2/+2.
As long as two or more hands are touching A Real Handful, it has menace.
As long as three or more hands are touching A Real Handful, it has lifelink.

Six-Sided Die

Choose target creature. Roll a six-sided die.
1 — It has base toughness 1 until end of turn.
2 — Put two -1/-1 counters on it.
3 — Six-Sided Die deals 3 damage to it and you gain 3 life.
4 — It gets -4/-4 until end of turn.
5 — Destroy it.
6 — Exile it.

Squirrel-Powered Scheme

Increase the result of each die you roll by 2.

Exchange of Words

When Exchange of Words enters, choose two target creatures. For as long as Exchange of Words remains on the battlefield, exchange the text boxes of those creatures.

Phoebe, Head of S.N.E.A.K.

Phoebe, Head of S.N.E.A.K. can't be blocked by creatures with flavor text.
{2}{U}{B}: Phoebe permanently steals target creature's text box. (That creature loses all rules text, flavor text, and watermarks. This creature gains them.)

Rock Lobster

Creatures named Scissors Lizard can't attack or block.

First Pick

Destroy target artifact or enchantment. Assemble a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Xenosquirrels

Xenosquirrels enters with two +1/+1 counters on it.
After you roll a die, you may remove a +1/+1 counter from Xenosquirrels. If you do, increase or decrease the result by 1.

Shaggy Camel

When this creature enters, creatures you control get +1/+1 until end of turn.

Spelling Bee

Flying, deathtouch
Whenever Spelling Bee deals combat damage to a player, that player looks at the top card of your library and chooses a word on that card. You spell that word. If you spell it correctly, draw a card. Otherwise, scry 1.

Half-Shark, Half-

At the beginning of your upkeep,
Augment {5}{U} ({5}{U}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Vedalken Squirrel-Whacker

As Vedalken Squirrel-Whacker enters, roll a six-sided die twice. Its base power becomes the first result and its base toughness becomes the second result.
If you would roll one or more six-sided dice, instead roll them and you may exchange one result with Vedalken Squirrel-Whacker's base power or base toughness.

Centaur of Attention

When Centaur of Attention enters, roll five six-sided dice and store those results on it.
At the beginning of combat on your turn, you may reroll any number of Centaur of Attention's stored results.
Centaur of Attention gets +X/+X, where X is the greatest number of stored results on it of the same value.

Celebr-8000

At the beginning of combat on your turn, roll two six-sided dice. For each result of 1, Celebr-8000 gets +1/+1 until end of turn. For each other result, it gains the indicated ability until end of turn. If you rolled doubles, it also gains double strike until end of turn.
• 2 — menace
• 3 — vigilance
• 4 — lifelink
• 5 — flying
• 6 — indestructible

Humming-

Flying
Whenever you attack with two or more creatures,
Augment {3}{W} ({3}{W}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

"Brims" Barone, Midway Mobster

When "Brims" Barone, Midway Mobster enters, put a +1/+1 counter on each other creature you control that has a hat.
"Brims" Barone, Midway Mobster has menace as long as you're wearing a hat.

Twiddlestick Charger

Whenever you crank Twiddlestick Charger, tap or untap target creature.

First strike, protection from even collector numbers (Nothing with an even collector number can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

Poultrygeist

Flying
Whenever a creature dies, you may roll a six-sided die. If you roll a 1, sacrifice Poultrygeist. Otherwise, put a +1/+1 counter on Poultrygeist.

Space Beleren

Space sculptor (Space Beleren divides the battlefield into alpha, beta, and gamma sectors. If a creature isn't assigned to a sector, its controller assigns it to one. Opponents assign first.)
+1: Creatures in each sector can be blocked this turn only by creatures in the same sector.
−1: Put a +1/+1 counter on each creature in the sector of your choice.
−5: Destroy all creatures in the sector of your choice.

Chipper Chopper

Flying
When Chipper Chopper enters, you may sacrifice another artifact. If you do, put two +1/+1 counters on Chipper Chopper and it assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Garbage Elemental

Cascade (When you cast this spell, exile cards from the top of your library until you exile a nonland card that costs less. You may cast it without paying its mana cost. Put the exiled cards on the bottom in a random order.)
When Garbage Elemental enters, roll a six-sided die. Garbage Elemental deals damage equal to the result to target opponent or planeswalker.

Half-Orc, Half-

Trample
At the beginning of each end step, if an opponent was dealt damage this turn,
Augment {1}{R}{R} ({1}{R}{R}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Animate Library

Enchant your library
Enchanted library is an artifact creature on the battlefield with power and toughness each equal to the number of cards in it. It's still a library.
If enchanted library would leave the battlefield, exile Animate Library instead.

Mother Kangaroo

When this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. Put a number of +1/+1 counters on this creature equal to the result.

Painiac

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. Painiac gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the result.

Circuits Act

Roll three six-sided dice. For each different result, create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token.

Feisty Stegosaurus

When this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. This creature deals damage equal to the result to target creature an opponent controls.

By Gnome Means

{1}{W}, Remove a counter from a permanent you control: Create a 1/1 colorless Gnome artifact creature token.
{1}{W}, Sacrifice an artifact: Choose any kind of counter a printed card refers to, then put one of that counter on target permanent.

Squirrel Dealer

When Squirrel Dealer enters, ask a person outside the game "Do you like Squirrels?" If they do, create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token.

Zombified

{4}{B}: Combine Zombified from your graveyard with target host.
{2}{B}, Exile a creature card from your graveyard:
Augment {4}{B} ({4}{B}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Chittering Doom

Whenever you roll a 4 or higher on a die, create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token.

Dirty Rat

When this creature enters, target opponent discards a card.

Non-Human Cannonball

When Non-Human Cannonball dies, roll a six-sided die. If the result is 4 or less, Non-Human Cannonball deals that much damage to you.

Jermane, Pride of the Circus

{G}, {T}: Put two +1/+1 counters on target creature with four or more legs.
{1}{G}{G}, {T}: Until end of turn, all creatures able to block target creature with four or more legs do so.

Genetic Recombinator

Whenever you crank Genetic Recombinator, up to two target creatures each get +2/+2 until end of turn.

Attempted Murder

Choose target creature. Roll X six-sided dice. For each even result, put two -1/-1 counters on that creature. For each odd result, create a 1/2 blue Bird creature token with flying named Storm Crow.

Carnivorous Death-Parrot

Flying
At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice Carnivorous Death-Parrot unless you say its flavor text.

Ol' Buzzbark

When Ol' Buzzbark enters, roll X six-sided dice onto the battlefield from a height of at least X inches. For each die, put a number of +1/+1 counters equal to the result on each creature you control that die is touching. For each die, Ol' Buzzbark deals damage equal to the result to each creature an opponent controls that die is touching.

Gnomeball Machine

Whenever you crank Gnomeball Machine, create two 1/1 colorless Gnome artifact creature tokens.

Autograph Book

Autograph Book enters with a page counter on it for each person who has signed it.
{3}, {T}, Remove a page counter from Autograph Book: Draw a card.

Vegetation Abomination

Deathtouch
{T}, Sacrifice Vegetation Abomination: Roll a six-sided die. You gain life equal to the result.

Timmy, Power Gamer

{4}: You may put a creature card from your hand onto the battlefield.

Rhino-

Whenever this creature blocks,
Augment {3}{W} ({3}{W}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Wrench-Rigger

When Wrench-Rigger enters, it assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Incite Insight

Assemble X Contraptions. (To assemble a Contraption, put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Surgeon General Commander

Whenever you augment, enchant, or mutate a creature you control, draw a card.
{T}: Add {W}, {U}, {B}, {R}, or {G}.

Sole Performer

{T}: Add {T}{T}. Activate only once each turn. (While activating an ability, use {T} rather than tapping the permanent to pay for {T}.)

Knight of the Widget

Vigilance
Knight of the Widget's power and toughness are each equal to the number of Order of the Widget watermarks among permanents you control.

Top-Secret Tunnel

Whenever you crank Top-Secret Tunnel, target creature can't be blocked this turn.

Dictation Quillograph

Whenever you crank Dictation Quillograph, until end of turn, target creature gains "Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, you may draw a card. If you do, discard a card."

Sly Spy

Whenever Sly Spy deals combat damage to a player, that player loses a finger until Sly Spy leaves the battlefield. (The finger is chosen by its owner and can't roll dice or touch cards.)

Gift Horse

Whenever you crank Gift Horse, roll two six-sided dice. Create a number of 1/1 red Goblin creature tokens equal to the difference between those results.

The Big Top

{T}: Add one mana of any color that appears on your top. (A top is an outerwear garment worn on the upper body.)

Goblin Girder Gang

Reach
Whenever you roll a die, if the result isn't stored on Goblin Girder Gang, you may store that result on it. When you do, Goblin Girder Gang deals 1 damage to any target without a hat.
Goblin Girder Gang gets +1/+0 for each result stored on it.

Who // What // When // Where // Why

Targeting Rocket

Whenever you crank Targeting Rocket, target creature blocks this turn if able.

Alpha Guard

When Alpha Guard enters, choose a letter.
{T}: Untap another target permanent whose name starts with the chosen letter.

Plot Armor

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +2/+2 and can't be blocked except by creatures with flavor text.

Knife and Death

Just a second (As long as this spell is on the stack, players can't move permanents.)
One at a time, throw ten cards you own from outside the game onto the playing area from a distance of at least three feet (about one meter). For each of those cards, Knife and Death deals 1 damage to each creature or planeswalker you don't control that card is touching. You gain life equal to the damage dealt this way.

Sundering Fork

Whenever you crank Sundering Fork, destroy target artifact.

Hammer Jammer

As Hammer Jammer enters, roll a six-sided die. Hammer Jammer enters with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the result.
Whenever you roll a die, remove all +1/+1 counters from Hammer Jammer, then put a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the result.

Enraged Killbot

Arms Depot

Whenever you crank Arms Depot, put two +1/+1 counters on target creature.

Boing!

Return target creature to its owner's hand, then roll a six-sided die. If the result is 3 or less, scry a number of cards equal to the result.

Wall of Fortune

Defender
You may tap an untapped Wall you control to have any player reroll a die that player rolled.

Nocturno of Myra's Marvels

As Nocturno of Myra's Marvels enters, choose a word with five or more letters.
Whenever you cast a spell with the chosen word in its rules text, you draw a card and you lose 2 life.
Partner (You can have two commanders if both have partner.)

Steamflogger Service Rep

Whenever another Goblin you control enters, you may pay {1}. If you do, Steamflogger Service Rep assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Growth Spurt

Roll a six-sided die. Target creature gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the result.

Wild Crocodile

When this creature enters, search your library for a basic land card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Buzzing Whack-a-Doodle

As Buzzing Whack-a-Doodle enters, you and an opponent each secretly choose Whack or Doodle. Then those choices are revealed. If the choices match, Buzzing Whack-a-Doodle has that ability. Otherwise, it has Buzz.
• Whack — {T}: Target player loses 2 life.
• Doodle — {T}: You gain 3 life.
• Buzz — {2}, {T}: Draw a card.

Lobe Lobber

Equipped creature has "{T}: This creature deals 1 damage to target player or planeswalker. Roll a six-sided die. On a 5 or higher, untap it."
Equip {2}

Dr. Julius Jumblemorph

Dr. Julius Jumblemorph is every creature type (even if this card isn't on the battlefield).
Whenever a host you control enters, you may search your library and/or graveyard for a card with augment and combine it with that host. If you search your library this way, shuffle.

Paper Tiger

Creatures named Rock Lobster can't attack or block.

Priority Boarding

Whenever you roll a die, you may reveal the top card of your library. Do this only once each turn. Whenever you reveal a card with mana value less than the result this way, you may exile it. If you do, you may play it this turn.

Snickering Squirrel

You may tap Snickering Squirrel to increase the result of a die any player rolled by 1.

Steady-Handed Mook

Deathtouch
When Steady-Handed Mook enters, it assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

When Garbage Elemental enters, it assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)
Undying (When this creature dies, if it had no +1/+1 counters on it, return it to the battlefield under its owner's control with a +1/+1 counter on it.)

Party Crasher

Haste
You can attack with Party Crasher once each combat during each opponent's turn.

Box of Free-Range Goblins

Roll a six-sided die. Create a number of 1/1 red Goblin creature tokens equal to the result.

Look at Me, I'm the DCI

Ban a card other than a basic land card for the rest of the match. (All cards with that name in any zone or sideboard are removed from the match.)