Socketed Sprocketer

{T}: Uninstall all results from Socketed Sprocketer, then roll a six-sided die. Install the result on Socketed Sprocketer. (Put the die on this card.)
You may uninstall a result from Socketed Sprocketer to use it for a die you rolled.
Uninstall a 6 from Socketed Sprocketer: Draw a card.

Riveting Rigger

When Riveting Rigger enters, you may sacrifice another artifact. If you do, put two +1/+1 counters on Riveting Rigger and it assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

B.O.B. (Bevy of Beebles)

As B.O.B. enters, create four 1/1 blue Beeble creature tokens.
The number of loyalty counters on B.O.B. is equal to the number of Beebles you control. (Create or sacrifice Beebles whenever B.O.B. gains or loses loyalty.)
+1: Up to X target Beebles can't be blocked this turn, where X is the number of cards in your hand.
−1: Draw a card.

Wild Crocodile

When this creature enters, search your library for a basic land card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Entirely Normal Armchair

During your turn, if Entirely Normal Armchair is in your hand, you may hide it on the battlefield.
{0}: Return Entirely Normal Armchair to its owner's hand. Only your opponents may activate this ability and only if they see Entirely Normal Armchair.
{2}, Sacrifice Entirely Normal Armchair: Destroy target attacking creature.

Garbage Elemental

When Garbage Elemental enters, it assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)
Undying (When this creature dies, if it had no +1/+1 counters on it, return it to the battlefield under its owner's control with a +1/+1 counter on it.)

Jack-in-the-Mox

{T}: Roll a six-sided die. This ability has the indicated effect.
1 — Sacrifice Jack-in-the-Mox and you lose 5 life.
2 — Add {W}.
3 — Add {U}.
4 — Add {B}.
5 — Add {R}.
6 — Add {G}.

A Real Handful

As long as one or more hands are touching A Real Handful, it gets +2/+2.
As long as two or more hands are touching A Real Handful, it has menace.
As long as three or more hands are touching A Real Handful, it has lifelink.

Hypnotic Swirly Disc

Whenever you crank Hypnotic Swirly Disc, target player mills X cards, where X is the number of creatures you control.

Spy Eye

Flying
Whenever Spy Eye deals combat damage to a player, you may draw a card from that player's library.

Embiggen

Until end of turn, target non-Brushwagg creature gets +1/+1 for each supertype, card type, and subtype it has.

Overt Operative

Menace
Whenever Overt Operative deals combat damage to a player, it assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Crafty Octopus

When this creature enters, this creature assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Common Courtesy

Whenever a player casts a spell without asking your permission while casting it, counter that spell.
When a player asks you permission to cast a spell and you refuse, counter that spell and sacrifice Common Courtesy.

Accessories to Murder

Whenever you crank Accessories to Murder, target creature gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the number of creatures you control.

Gray Merchant of Alphabet

When Gray Merchant of Alphabet enters, choose a letter. For each creature you control that has the chosen letter in its name, you gain 1 life and each opponent loses 1 life.

S.N.E.A.K. Dispatcher

{2}{U}, {T}: Look at the top card of target player's library. If it has an Agents of S.N.E.A.K. watermark, you may reveal it and put it into your hand. Otherwise, put it on your choice of the top or bottom of its owner's library.

Sly Spy

Whenever Sly Spy deals combat damage to a player, you may destroy target creature facing right in its art. (Creatures without faces don't face anywhere.)

Surgeon General Commander

Whenever you augment, enchant, or mutate a creature you control, draw a card.
{T}: Add {W}, {U}, {B}, {R}, or {G}.

Oddly Uneven

Choose one —
• Destroy each creature with an odd number of words in its name. (Hyphenated words are one word.)
• Destroy each creature with an even number of words in its name.

Dee Kay, Finder of the Lost

When Dee Kay, Finder of the Lost enters, open an Attraction.
Whenever you roll a 2, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain 1 life.
Whenever you roll a 4, you may tap or untap target artifact or creature.
Whenever you roll a 6, return target creature card from your graveyard to your hand.

Split Screen

When Split Screen enters, shuffle your library and deal it into four libraries. If anything refers to your library, choose one of your libraries for it.
Play with your libraries' top cards revealed.
When Split Screen leaves the battlefield, shuffle your libraries together.

Goblin Haberdasher

Menace (This creature can't be blocked except by two or more creatures.)
Other creatures you control wearing hats in their art have menace.

Animate Graveyard

Enchant your graveyard
Enchanted graveyard is a creature on the battlefield with base power and toughness each equal to the number of cards in it. It has the text boxes of all creature cards in it. It's still a graveyard.
If enchanted graveyard would leave the battlefield, instead exile Animate Graveyard.

Inhumaniac

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. On a 3 or 4, put a +1/+1 counter on Inhumaniac. On a 5 or higher, put two +1/+1 counters on it. On a 1, remove all +1/+1 counters from Inhumaniac.

Cascade (When you cast this spell, exile cards from the top of your library until you exile a nonland card that costs less. You may cast it without paying its mana cost. Put the exiled cards on the bottom in a random order.)
When Garbage Elemental enters, roll a six-sided die. Garbage Elemental deals damage equal to the result to target opponent or planeswalker.

Ninja

You may activate Ninja's augment ability any time you could cast an instant.
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player,
Augment {2}{B} ({2}{B}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as—oh, never mind.)

Trigger Happy

Choose a triggered ability of target permanent. It triggers. You control that ability.

Pair o' Dice Lost

Roll two six-sided dice. Return any number of cards with total mana value X or less from your graveyard to your hand, where X is the total of those results. Exile Pair o' Dice Lost.

Work a Double

Assemble two Contraptions. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets. Then repeat this process.)

Carnivorous Death-Parrot

Flying
At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice Carnivorous Death-Parrot unless you say its flavor text.

Trapeze Artist

Flying
Trapeze Artist enters by being flipped from a height of at least one foot (about 0.3 meters). If it lands face down or didn't turn over completely at least once during the flip, return it to its owner's hand.

Dissatisfied Customer

Flying, haste
When Dissatisfied Customer enters, roll a six-sided die. If the result is 3 or less, you lose that much life.

Underdome

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to pay Un-costs.

Sap Sucker

Whenever you crank Sap Sucker, add {G}. Until end of turn, you don't lose this mana as steps and phases end.

Emcee

Whenever another creature enters, you may stand up and say in a deep, booming voice, "Presenting . . . " and that creature's name. If you do, put a +1/+1 counter on that creature.

Nocturno of Myra's Marvels

As Nocturno of Myra's Marvels enters, choose a word with five or more letters.
Whenever you cast a spell with the chosen word in its rules text, you draw a card and you lose 2 life.
Partner (You can have two commanders if both have partner.)

Half-Squirrel, Half-

Whenever a nontoken creature enters,
Augment {G} ({G}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Cheatyface

If Cheatyface is in your hand, you may sneak Cheatyface onto the battlefield. If an opponent catches you right away, that player may exile Cheatyface.
Flying

Head Banger

Whenever you crank Head Banger, target creature must be blocked this turn if able.

Magic Word

Enchant creature
As Magic Word enters, choose a word.
Whisper the chosen word: Tap enchanted creature.

Serpentine

Landfall — Whenever a land you control enters,
Augment {2}{G} ({2}{G}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Earl of Squirrel

Squirrellink (Damage dealt by this creature also causes you to create that many 1/1 green Squirrel creature tokens.)
Creature tokens you control are Squirrels in addition to their other creature types.
Other Squirrels you control get +1/+1.

Boomstacker

As Boomstacker enters and whenever it attacks, stack two dice on top of it. (All dice must be stacked vertically, one on top of another.)
Boomstacker gets +1/+1 for each die in its stack.
Boomstacker attacks each combat if able.
When the stack falls, sacrifice Boomstacker.

Hardy of Myra's Marvels

As Hardy of Myra's Marvels enters, choose a number.
Whenever you cast a spell with the chosen number of lines of flavor text, put that many +1/+1 counters on target creature.
Partner (You can have two commanders if both have partner.)

Sole Performer

{T}: Add {T}{T}. Activate only once each turn. (While activating an ability, use {T} rather than tapping the permanent to pay for {T}.)

Impounding Lot-Bot

When Impounding Lot-Bot enters, you may say "INCARCERATE!" in a robot voice. If you do, exile another target artifact or enchantment until Impounding Lot-Bot leaves the battlefield.

Dogsnail Engine

Whenever you crank Dogsnail Engine, target player gains life equal to the greatest power among creatures you control.

Hard Hat Area

Whenever you crank Hard Hat Area, roll two six-sided dice. Hard Hat Area assembles a number of Contraptions equal to the difference between those results. (To assemble a Contraption, put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Alpha Guard

When Alpha Guard enters, choose a letter.
{T}: Untap another target permanent whose name starts with the chosen letter.

Hydradoodle

As Hydradoodle enters, roll X six-sided dice. Hydradoodle enters with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the total of those results.
Reach, trample

Really Epic Punch

Target creature you control gets +2/+2 if it's a host or has augment. Then it fights target creature you don't control.

Super-Duper Lost

Put target creature into its owner's library just beneath the top X cards of that library, where X is the number of doors you can see from your seat.

Old Guard

{W}, {T}: Tap target creature without reminder text. (Reminder text is still any italicized text in parentheses that explains rules you already know.)

Crow Storm

Create a 1/2 blue Bird creature token with flying named Storm Crow.
Storm (When you cast this spell, copy it for each spell cast before it this turn.)

Hoisted Hireling

Hoisted Hireling has flying as long as it's being held above the battlefield.

Dispatch Dispensary

Whenever you crank Dispatch Dispensary, create a 2/2 black Rogue creature token with menace.

Icing Manipulator

Each +1/+1 counter on a creature you control is also a Food token. (It's an artifact with "{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.")
{3}{G}, {T}: Roll two six-sided dice. For each odd result, put a +1/+1 counter on a creature of your choice. Activate only as a sorcery.

Skull Saucer

Flying
When Skull Saucer enters, destroy target creature and put your head on the table. Sacrifice Skull Saucer when your head stops touching the table.

Knight of the Hokey Pokey

First strike
{1}{W}, Do the Hokey Pokey: Prevent all damage a source of your choice would deal to Knight of the Hokey Pokey this turn. (To do the Hokey Pokey, choose an arm, a leg, or your whole self and put it in. Put it out. Put it in. Shake it all about. You do the Hokey Pokey! Turn yourself around.)

Gnome-Made Engine

When this creature enters, create a 1/1 colorless Gnome artifact creature token.

Gnomeball Machine

Whenever you crank Gnomeball Machine, create two 1/1 colorless Gnome artifact creature tokens.

Inflation Station

Whenever you crank Inflation Station, target creature gets +3/+3 until end of turn.

Dirty Rat

When this creature enters, target opponent discards a card.

Mobile Clone

Using a mobile device, take a picture of target creature. That device enters as a token that's a photocopy of the pictured creature. (Photocopies include Auras, Equipment, counters, and stickers in the shot. Don't touch other people's phones without permission and be careful if you do.)

Spell Suck

Counter target spell, then assemble a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Johnny, Combo Player

{4}: Search your library for a card, put that card into your hand, then shuffle.

Targeting Rocket

Whenever you crank Targeting Rocket, target creature blocks this turn if able.

Knight of the Kitchen Sink

First strike, protection from even collector numbers (Nothing with an even collector number can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

Adorable Kitten

When this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. You gain life equal to the result.

First strike, protection from odd collector numbers (Nothing with an odd collector number can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

Despondent Killbot

Richard Garfield, Ph.D.

You may play cards as though they were other cards of your choice with the same mana cost. You can't choose the same card twice. (Mana cost includes color.)

Pie-roclasm

Pie-roclasm deals π damage to each non-Clown creature. (How to calculate π isn't important. It's a smidgen more than 3.)

Omniclown Colossus

Affinity for Clowns (This spell costs {1} less to cast for each Clown you control.)
Trample

Omniclown Colossus // Pie-roclasm

Jackknight

Whenever another artifact you control enters, put a +1/+1 counter on Jackknight. If that artifact is a Contraption, Jackknight gains lifelink until end of turn.

Ol' Buzzbark

When Ol' Buzzbark enters, roll X six-sided dice onto the battlefield from a height of at least X inches. For each die, put a number of +1/+1 counters equal to the result on each creature you control that die is touching. For each die, Ol' Buzzbark deals damage equal to the result to each creature an opponent controls that die is touching.

T.A.P.P.E.R.

{T}, Tap an untapped creature you control that has a hat: Tap target creature.

Steam-Powered

{5}:
Augment {4} ({4}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Angelic Rocket

Flying
When this creature enters, you may destroy target nonland permanent.

Hammer Jammer

As Hammer Jammer enters, roll a six-sided die. Hammer Jammer enters with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the result.
Whenever you roll a die, remove all +1/+1 counters from Hammer Jammer, then put a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the result.

Big Boa Constrictor

When this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. Target opponent loses life equal to the result.

Infernal Spawn of Evil

Flying, first strike
{1}{B}, Reveal Infernal Spawn of Evil from your hand, Say "It's coming!": Infernal Spawn of Evil deals 1 damage to target opponent or planeswalker. Activate only during your upkeep and only once each turn.

Eager Beaver

When this creature enters, you may untap target permanent.

Boing!

Return target creature to its owner's hand, then roll a six-sided die. If the result is 3 or less, scry a number of cards equal to the result.

D00-DL, Caricaturist

When D00-DL, Caricaturist enters, create a 4/4 colorless Sketch creature token, which you have fifteen seconds to draw. The token has flying if it has wings in its art. The same is true for first strike and a sword, vigilance and a shield, menace and mean eyes, trample and horns, deathtouch and claws, lifelink and fangs, and haste and footwear.

Questionable Cuisine

Return up to two target creature cards from your graveyard to your hand. Create a Food token for each trash can you can see from your seat. (It's an artifact with "{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.")

First Pick

Destroy target artifact or enchantment. Assemble a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Enraged Killbot

Steamfloggery

Roll a six-sided die. Assemble a number of Contraptions equal to the result. (To assemble a Contraption, put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Selfie Preservation

Search your library for a basic land card and reveal it. If there's a tree in its art, put it onto the battlefield tapped. Otherwise, put it into your hand. Then shuffle.

Chipper Chopper

Flying
When Chipper Chopper enters, you may sacrifice another artifact. If you do, put two +1/+1 counters on Chipper Chopper and it assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Teacher's Pet

{2}{W}, Sacrifice Teacher's Pet: Search your library for a card with augment, combine it with target host you control, then shuffle.

Paper Tiger

Creatures named Rock Lobster can't attack or block.

Boomflinger

Whenever you crank Boomflinger, roll two six-sided dice. Boomflinger deals damage to target player or planeswalker equal to the difference between those results.

capital offense

target creature gets -x/-x until end of turn, where x is the number of times a capital letter appears in its rules text. (ignore reminder text and flavor text.)

Nearby Planet

Rangeling (This card is every land type, including Plains, Island, Swamp, Mountain, Forest, Desert, Gate, Lair, Locus, and all those Urza's ones.)
Nearby Planet enters tapped.
When Nearby Planet enters, sacrifice it unless you pay {1}.

Snickering Squirrel

You may tap Snickering Squirrel to increase the result of a die any player rolled by 1.

Animate Library

Enchant your library
Enchanted library is an artifact creature on the battlefield with power and toughness each equal to the number of cards in it. It's still a library.
If enchanted library would leave the battlefield, exile Animate Library instead.

Refibrillator

Whenever you crank Refibrillator, return target creature card from your graveyard to your hand.

Chicken à la King

Whenever a 6 is rolled on a six-sided die, put a +1/+1 counter on each Bird. (You may roll dice only when instructed to.)
Tap an untapped Bird you control: Roll a six-sided die. (Like now.)

Mandatory Friendship Shackles

Whenever you crank Mandatory Friendship Shackles, target creature gets -1/-1 until end of turn.