First Come, First Served

Each attacking or blocking creature with the lowest collector number among attacking or blocking creatures has first strike.

Miss Demeanor

Flying, first strike
At the beginning of each other player's upkeep, you may compliment that player on their game play. If you don't, sacrifice Miss Demeanor.

Erase (Not the Urza's Legacy One)

If you control two or more white permanents that share an artist, you may cast this spell without paying its mana cost.
Exile target enchantment.

Flavor Judge

{T}: Choose target spell or ability that targets a permanent you control. Then ask a person outside the game if the story of what will happen makes sense. If they say no, sacrifice Flavor Judge and counter that spell or ability.

Water Gun Balloon Game

As Water Gun Balloon Game enters the battlefield, each player puts a pop! counter on "0."
Whenever a player casts a spell, move that player's pop! counter up one.
Whenever a player's pop! counter hits "5," that player creates a 5/5 pink Giant Teddy Bear creature token and resets all pop! counters to "0."

Oddly Uneven

Choose one —
• Destroy each creature with an odd number of words in its name. (Hyphenated words are one word.)
• Destroy each creature with an even number of words in its name.

Jackknight

Whenever another artifact enters the battlefield under your control, put a +1/+1 counter on Jackknight. If that artifact is a Contraption, Jackknight gains lifelink until end of turn.

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Circle of Protection: Green

{1}: The next time a green source of your choice would deal damage to you this turn, prevent that damage.

Rules Lawyer

State-based actions don't apply to you or other permanents you control. (You don't lose the game due to having 0 or less life or drawing from an empty library. Your creatures aren't destroyed due to damage or deathtouch and aren't put into a graveyard due to having 0 or less toughness. Your planeswalkers aren't put into a graveyard if they have 0 loyalty. You don't put a legendary permanent into a graveyard if you control two with the same name. Counters aren't removed from your permanents due to game rules. Permanents you control attached or combined illegally remain on the battlefield. For complete rules and regulations, see rule 704.)

The Big Top

{T}: Add one mana of any color that appears on your top. (A top is an outerwear garment worn on the upper body.)

City of Ass

City of Ass enters the battlefield tapped.
{T}: Add one and one-half mana of any one color.

Mesa Chicken

Stand up, Flap your arms, Cluck like a chicken: Mesa Chicken gains flying until end of turn.

Emcee

Whenever another creature enters the battlefield, you may stand up and say in a deep, booming voice, "Presenting . . . " and that creature's name. If you do, put a +1/+1 counter on that creature.

Green Ward

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature has protection from green. This effect doesn't remove Green Ward.

Toy Boat

Cumulative upkeep—Say "Toy Boat" quickly. (At the beginning of your upkeep, put an age counter on Toy Boat, then sacrifice it unless you say "Toy Boat" once for each age counter on it—without pausing between or fumbling it.)

Staying Power

"Until end of turn" and "this turn" effects don't end.

My First Tome

{1}, {T}: Say the flavor text on a card in your hand. Target opponent guesses that card's name. You may reveal that card. If you do and they guessed wrong, you draw a card.

Standing Army

As long as you're standing, Standing Army has vigilance.

Syr Cadian, Knight Owl

Knightlifelink (Damage dealt by Knights you control also causes you to gain that much life.)
{W}: Syr Cadian, Knight Owl gains vigilance until end of turn. Activate only from sunrise to sunset.
{B}: Syr Cadian, Knight Owl gains flying until end of turn. Activate only from sunset to sunrise.

Fascist Art Director

{W}{W}: Fascist Art Director gains protection from the artist of your choice until end of turn.

I'm Rubber, You're Glue

When you speak in non-rhyming sentences, sacrifice I'm Rubber, You're Glue.
Say "I'm rubber, you're glue. Everything bounces off me and sticks to you": Change the target of target spell or ability that targets only you.

Death Ward

White Ward

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature has protection from white. This effect doesn't remove White Ward.

Chaos Orb

{1}, {T}: If Chaos Orb is on the battlefield, flip Chaos Orb onto the battlefield from a height of at least one foot. If Chaos Orb turns over completely at least once during the flip, destroy all nontoken permanents it touches. Then destroy Chaos Orb.

Knight of the Kitchen Sink

First strike, protection from even collector numbers (Nothing with an even collector number can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

Main Event Horizon

As an additional cost to cast this spell, choose A through M or N through Z.
Destroy each creature whose name begins with a letter in the chosen range.

Bosom Buddy

Whenever you cast a spell, you may gain ½ life for each word in that spell's name.

First strike, protection from watermarks (Nothing with a watermark can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

Blue Ward

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature has protection from blue. This effect doesn't remove Blue Ward.

Togglodyte

Togglodyte enters the battlefield turned on.
Whenever a player casts a spell, toggle Togglodyte's ON/OFF switch.
As long as Togglodyte is turned off, it can't attack or block, and prevent all damage it would deal.

Head to Head

You and target opponent play Seven Questions with the top card of that player's library. If you win, prevent all damage that would be dealt this turn by a source of your choice. (To play Seven Questions, that player looks at the card, then you ask up to six yes-or-no questions about the card that they answer truthfully. You guess the card's name—that's question seven—then the player reveals the card.)

Drawn Together

As Drawn Together enters the battlefield, choose an artist.
Creatures with art by the chosen artist get +2/+2.

Look at Me, I'm R&D

As Look at Me, I'm R&D comes into play, choose a number and a second number one higher or one lower than that number.
All instances of the first chosen number on permanents, spells, and cards in any zone are the second chosen number.

Trapeze Artist

Flying
Trapeze Artist enters the battlefield by being flipped from a height of at least one foot (about 0.3 meters). If it lands face down or didn't turn over completely at least once during the flip, return it to its owner's hand.

World-Bottling Kit

{5}, Sacrifice World-Bottling Kit: Choose a Magic set. Exile all permanents with that set's expansion symbol except for basic lands.

Old Guard

{W}, {T}: Tap target creature without reminder text. (Reminder text is still any italicized text in parentheses that explains rules you already know.)

Blacker Lotus

{T}: Tear Blacker Lotus into pieces. Add four mana of any one color. Remove the pieces from the game.

Rod of Spanking

{2}, {T}: Rod of Spanking deals 1 damage to target player. Then untap Rod of Spanking unless that player says "Thank you, sir. May I have another?"

Urza's Hot Tub

{2}, Discard a card: Search your library for a card that shares a complete word in its name with the discarded card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Frankie Peanuts

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may ask target player a yes-or-no question. If you do, that player answers the question truthfully and abides by that answer if able until end of turn.

Park Re-Entry

Return up to two target creature cards that each have a hat and/or mana value 3 or less from your graveyard to the battlefield.

Sword of Dungeons & Dragons

Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has protection from Rogues and from Clerics.
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, create a 4/4 gold Dragon creature token with flying and roll a d20 (a twenty-sided die). If you roll a 20, repeat this process.
Equip {2}

Save Life

Choose one —
• Target player gains 2½ life.
• Prevent the next 2½ damage that would be dealt to target creature this turn.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "save" or "life," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Save Life from your graveyard to your hand.

AWOL

Exile target attacking creature. Then remove it from the game. Then put it into the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game-forever zone.

First strike, protection from odd collector numbers (Nothing with an odd collector number can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

Celebr-8000

At the beginning of combat on your turn, roll two six-sided dice. For each result of 1, Celebr-8000 gets +1/+1 until end of turn. For each other result, it gains the indicated ability until end of turn. If you rolled doubles, it also gains double strike until end of turn.
• 2 — menace
• 3 — vigilance
• 4 — lifelink
• 5 — flying
• 6 — indestructible

Look at Me, I'm the DCI

Ban a card other than a basic land card for the rest of the match. (All cards with that name in any zone or sideboard are removed from the match.)

Wordmail

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +1/+1 for each word in its name.

First strike, protection from black borders (Nothing with a black border can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

Mana Screw

{1}: Flip a coin. If you win the flip, add {C}{C}. Activate only as an instant.

Form of the Approach of the Second Sun

When this enchantment enters the battlefield, you gain 7 life. You become a card until you leave your library or that library is shuffled. Put yourself seventh from the top, balancing the cards on top of you on your head.
When you draw yourself, you win the game.
When one or more cards fall off your head, exile them and all cards on your head, then sacrifice this enchantment.

Black Ward

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature has protection from black. This effect doesn't remove Black Ward.

Red Ward

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature has protection from red. This effect doesn't remove Red Ward.

Lexivore

Whenever Lexivore deals damage to a player, destroy target permanent other than Lexivore with the most lines of text in its text box. (If two or more cards are tied, target any one of them.)

Ladies' Knight

Flying
Spells cast by players wearing at least one item of women's clothing cost {1} less to cast. (You can define women's clothing as you see fit. Be reasonable.)

The Cheese Stands Alone

When you control no permanents other than The Cheese Stands Alone and have no cards in hand, you win the game.

Circle of Protection: Blue

{1}: The next time a blue source of your choice would deal damage to you this turn, prevent that damage.

Circle of Protection: Red

{1}: The next time a red source of your choice would deal damage to you this turn, prevent that damage.

First strike, protection from two-word names (Nothing with exactly two words in its name can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature. Hyphenated words are one word.)

Plains

Circle of Protection: Art

As Circle of Protection: Art enters the battlefield, choose an artist.
{1}{W}: The next time a source of your choice with art by the chosen artist would deal damage to you this turn, prevent that damage.
{1}{W}: Return Circle of Protection: Art to its owner's hand.

Bar Entry

Choose one —
• Destroy target creature with power 4 or greater.
• Destroy target creature with any part of its head higher than the bar. (Align the tops of both cards to check.)

Cheap Ass

Knight in _____ Armor

First strike
As this creature enters the battlefield, you may put a name sticker on it.
This creature has protection from names that start with the same letter as a name sticker on it.

Sacrifice Play

A person outside the game chooses an attacking or blocking creature target opponent controls. That player sacrifices that creature.

First strike, protection from loose lips (Nothing with an open mouth in its artwork can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)