Kindly Cognician

Spells you cast that refer to artifacts or Contraptions in their rules text cost {1} less to cast.

Knight of the Kitchen Sink

First strike, protection from two-word names (Nothing with exactly two words in its name can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature. Hyphenated words are one word.)

Crafty Octopus

When this creature enters the battlefield, this creature assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

High Troller

All targeted spells and abilities cost {2} less and have their targets chosen randomly.

Ersta, Friend to All

+1: Create a 1/1 Human Wizard creature token that's all colors.
−3: Choose a card name from among Enlightened Tutor, Mystical Tutor, Booster Tutor, Imperial Recruiter, and Worldly Tutor. Create a copy of the card with the chosen name. You may cast the copy without paying its mana cost.
−8: You get an emblem with "At the beginning of your upkeep, if you control twenty or more Wizards, you win the game."
Ersta, Friend to All can be your commander.

Devil K. Nevil

Haste
When Devil K. Nevil enters the battlefield, jump it over any number of creatures. If it clears those creatures, put that many +1/+1 counters on it. (You can see a jumping demonstration at DevilKNevil.com.)

Keeper of the Secret Lair

Flash
You may cast Secret Lair spells as though they had flash.
Secret Lair spells you cast cost {1} less to cast.

Half-Squirrel, Half-

Whenever a nontoken creature enters the battlefield,
Augment {G} ({G}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

"Ach! Hans, Run!"

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may say "Ach! Hans, run! It's the . . ." and the name of a creature card. If you do, search your library for a card with that name, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle. That creature gains haste. Exile it at the beginning of the next end step.

Face to Face

You and target opponent play a best two-out-of-three Rock, Paper, Scissors match. If you win, Face to Face deals 5 damage to that player.

Do-It-Yourself Seraph

Flying
Whenever Do-It-Yourself Seraph attacks, you may search your library for an artifact card, exile it, then shuffle.
Do-It-Yourself Seraph has the text box of each card exiled with Do-It-Yourself Seraph in addition to its own.

Ass Whuppin'

Destroy target silver-bordered or acorn permanent in any game you can see from your seat.

Grusilda, Monster Masher

Combined, enchanted, and equipped creatures you control have menace.
{3}{B}{R}, {T}: Put two target creature cards from graveyards onto the battlefield combined into one creature under your control. (Its power is equal to their total power, its toughness is equal to their total toughness, and it has their names, mana costs, types, text boxes, etc.)

Double Take

Choose another player. You draw two cards. At the beginning of the first upkeep in your next game with that player, you draw two cards.

Cheap Ass

Kharis & The Beholder

Flying
When Kharis & The Beholder enters the battlefield and at the beginning of your upkeep, create a 1/1 white Human creature token and make a charisma check. (Roll a d20.)
• If the result plus the number of creatures you control is greater than 11, put a +1/+1 counter on each creature you control.
• If the result is a natural 20, for each nonlegendary creature you control, create a token that's a copy of that creature.

Feisty Stegosaurus

When this creature enters the battlefield, roll a six-sided die. This creature deals damage equal to the result to target creature an opponent controls.

Chicken à la King

Whenever a 6 is rolled on a six-sided die, put a +1/+1 counter on each Bird. (You may roll dice only when instructed to.)
Tap an untapped Bird you control: Roll a six-sided die. (Like now.)

Evil Boros Charm

Choose one —
• Evil Boros Charm deals 2 damage to any target and you gain 2 life.
• Unblocked attacking creatures get +1/+0 until end of turn.
• Create a 1/1 colorless Spirit creature token with lifelink and haste.

Granny's Payback

Chipper Chopper

Flying
When Chipper Chopper enters the battlefield, you may sacrifice another artifact. If you do, put two +1/+1 counters on Chipper Chopper and it assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Hat Trick

Target blocking or blocked creature you control get +1/+1 and gains first strike until end of turn. If it has a hat, it gains double strike until end of turn. If you and that creature each have a hat, the creature gains triple strike until end of turn.

Ground Pounder

{3}{G}: Roll a six-sided die. Ground Pounder gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the result.
Whenever you roll a 5 or higher on a die, Ground Pounder gains trample until end of turn.

Double Deal

Choose another player. Double Deal deals 3 damage to that player. At the beginning of the first upkeep in your next game with that player, Double Deal deals 3 damage to the player.

Keeper of the Sacred Word

As Keeper of the Sacred Word enters the battlefield, choose a word.
Whenever an opponent says the chosen word, Keeper of the Sacred Word gets +3/+3 until end of turn.

Present Arms

Exchange your library with another deck you own from outside the game. Shuffle your library.

Decorated Knight

Whenever Decorated Knight attacks, draw a card from your original deck if it's outside the game.

Decorated Knight // Present Arms

First Come, First Served

Each attacking or blocking creature with the lowest collector number among attacking or blocking creatures has first strike.

Fabled Path of Searo Point

{W}{U}{B}{R}{G}, {T}: Creatures you control gain landwalk until end of turn.

Banding Sliver

All Slivers have banding. (Any creatures with banding, and up to one without, can attack in a band. Bands are blocked as a group. If any creatures with banding you control are blocking or being blocked by a creature, you divide that creature's combat damage, not its controller, among any of the creatures it's being blocked by or is blocking.)

Cover the Spot

Visit — Drop three cards you own from outside the game one at a time onto the playing area from a height of at least one foot (about 0.3 meters). If those cards completely cover Cover the Spot, claim the prize!
Prize — You get {TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}, then you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own. Sacrifice Cover the Spot, then open an Attraction.

Avatar of Me

This spell costs {1} more to cast for each ten years you've been alive.
Avatar of Me's power is equal to your height in feet and its toughness is equal to your American shoe size. Round to the nearest ½.
Avatar of Me is the color of your eyes.

Dr. Julius Jumblemorph

Dr. Julius Jumblemorph is every creature type (even if this card isn't on the battlefield).
Whenever a host enters the battlefield under your control, you may search your library and/or graveyard for a card with augment and combine it with that host. If you search your library this way, shuffle.

Double Dip

Choose another player. You gain 5 life. At the beginning of the first upkeep in your next game with that player, you gain 5 life.

B.O.B. (Bevy of Beebles)

As B.O.B. enters the battlefield, create four 1/1 blue Beeble creature tokens.
The number of loyalty counters on B.O.B. is equal to the number of Beebles you control. (Create or sacrifice Beebles whenever B.O.B. gains or loses loyalty.)
+1: Up to X target Beebles can't be blocked this turn, where X is the number of cards in your hand.
−1: Draw a card.

Jester's Sombrero

{2}, {T}, Sacrifice Jester's Sombrero: Look at target player's sideboard, choose three cards from it, and remove those cards from the match.

Everythingamajig

{2}, {T}: Move a counter from one permanent onto another. If the second permanent refers to any kind of counter, the moved counter becomes one of those counters. Otherwise, it becomes a +1/+1 counter.
{3}, {T}: Put a +1/+1 counter on target creature.
{4}, {T}: Proliferate. (Choose any number of permanents and/or players, then give each another counter of each kind already there.)

Form of the Mulldrifter

When Form of the Mulldrifter enters the battlefield, draw two cards.
You may cast creature cards from your hand as though they were the card Mulldrifter. (You can still evoke this way. They're Mulldrifters.)

First strike, protection from odd collector numbers (Nothing with an odd collector number can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

Brushstroke Paintermage

{T}: Target permanent's artist becomes the artist of your choice until end of turn.

Entirely Normal Armchair

During your turn, if Entirely Normal Armchair is in your hand, you may hide it on the battlefield.
{0}: Return Entirely Normal Armchair to its owner's hand. Only your opponents may activate this ability and only if they see Entirely Normal Armchair.
{2}, Sacrifice Entirely Normal Armchair: Destroy target attacking creature.

Double Header

Flying
When Double Header enters the battlefield, you may return target permanent with a two-word name to its owner's hand.

Assquatch

Each other Donkey gets +1½/+1½.
Whenever another Donkey enters the battlefield, untap target creature and gain control of it until end of turn. That creature gains haste until end of turn.

Free-Range Chicken

{1}{G}: Roll two six-sided dice. If both results are the same, Free-Range Chicken gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is that result. If the total of those results is equal to any other total you have rolled this turn for this ability, sacrifice it. (For example, if you roll two 3s, it gets +3/+3. If you roll a 4 and a 2 for this ability later that turn, sacrifice it.)

First Pick

Destroy target artifact or enchantment. Assemble a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Enter the Dungeon

Players play a Magic subgame under the table, starting at 5 life and using their libraries as their decks. The winner searches their library for two cards, puts those cards into their hand, then shuffles.

Gnome-Made Engine

When this creature enters the battlefield, create a 1/1 colorless Gnome artifact creature token.

Interplanar Brushwagg

Interplanar (This creature enters onto the interplanar battlefield. Players can't control creatures on the interplanar battlefield.)
Vigilance, haste
Whenever a player attacks with a creature with power 4 or greater, Interplanar Brushwagg also attacks the player or planeswalker that creature is attacking.

{1}, {T}: Scry 2.
{1}, {T}, Pay 1 life: Create a 0/1 white Goat creature token.
{7}, {T}, Sacrifice Everythingamajig: Choose target player. At the beginning of the next end step, exchange life totals with that player, exchange control of all permanents you and that player control, and exchange cards in your hands, cards in your libraries, and cards in your graveyards.

I'm Rubber, You're Glue

When you speak in non-rhyming sentences, sacrifice I'm Rubber, You're Glue.
Say "I'm rubber, you're glue. Everything bounces off me and sticks to you": Change the target of target spell or ability that targets only you.

Jack-in-the-Mox

{T}: Roll a six-sided die. This ability has the indicated effect.
1 — Sacrifice Jack-in-the-Mox and you lose 5 life.
2 — Add {W}.
3 — Add {U}.
4 — Add {B}.
5 — Add {R}.
6 — Add {G}.

Garbage Elemental

When Garbage Elemental enters the battlefield, it assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)
Undying (When this creature dies, if it had no +1/+1 counters on it, return it to the battlefield under its owner's control with a +1/+1 counter on it.)

Amped Up

This spell costs {1} less to cast for each electrical socket in a wall or floor you can see from your seat.
Gain control of target creature until end of turn. Untap that creature. Until end of turn, it gets +3/+0 and gains haste.

Bucket List

Whenever you cast a spell of a type showing on Bucket List, put a counter over that type and draw a card. If all five types on Bucket List have counters over them, sacrifice it and draw one more card.
☐ artifact ☐ creature ☐ enchantment ☐ instant ☐ sorcery

Goblin S.W.A.T. Team

Say "Goblin S.W.A.T. Team": Put a +1/+1 counter on Goblin S.W.A.T. Team unless an opponent swats the table within five seconds. Activate only once each turn.

Goblin Secret Agent

First strike
At the beginning of your upkeep, reveal a card from your hand at random.

Double Play

Choose another player. Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle. At the beginning of the first upkeep in your next game with that player, search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

Cyclopean Titan

When Cyclopean Titan dies, two target lands become Swamps. Exile Cyclopean Titan.
{3}, {T}: Tap target creature, then return Cyclopean Titan to its owner's hand.

Art Appreciation

Put an art sticker on a nonland permanent you own. Then ask a person outside the game to rate its new art on a scale from 1 to 5, where 5 is the best. When they rate the art, up to that many target creatures can't block this turn.

Clay Pigeon

Flying
{1}, Throw Clay Pigeon into the air at least two feet above your head while seated: If you catch Clay Pigeon with one hand, prevent all damage a source of your choice would deal to you this turn and tap Clay Pigeon. Otherwise, sacrifice it.

Krazy Kow

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. If you a roll a 1, sacrifice Krazy Kow and it deals 3 damage to each creature and each player.

Exit Through the Grift Shop

Yell "Who wants a souvenir?" and announce the name of a nonland card in your graveyard. Each player in an Un-game who can hear you may bid life. You start the bidding at 0. The high bidder loses life equal to the high bid. They copy the card and may cast the copy without paying its mana cost. If you didn't win the bid, you gain life equal to the high bid and create that many Treasure tokens.

Box of Free-Range Goblins

Roll a six-sided die. Create a number of 1/1 red Goblin creature tokens equal to the result.

A Real Handful

As long as one or more hands are touching A Real Handful, it gets +2/+2.
As long as two or more hands are touching A Real Handful, it has menace.
As long as three or more hands are touching A Real Handful, it has lifelink.

Clocknapper

When Clocknapper enters the battlefield, choose beginning phase, precombat main phase, combat phase, postcombat main phase, or ending phase. Steal that phase from target player during their next turn. (That phase occurs as though it's your turn instead.)

{1}: Flip a coin. If you win the flip, add {C}{C}. Activate only as an instant.
{3}, {T}: Target player discards a card. Activate only during your turn.
{X}: Everythingamajig becomes an X/X Construct artifact creature until end of turn.

Animate Library

Enchant your library
Enchanted library is an artifact creature on the battlefield with power and toughness each equal to the number of cards in it. It's still a library.
If enchanted library would leave the battlefield, exile Animate Library instead.

Goblin Tutor

Roll a six-sided die. If you roll a 1, Goblin Tutor has no effect. Otherwise, search your library for the indicated card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.
2 — A card named Goblin Tutor
3 — An enchantment
4 — An artifact
5 — A creature
6 — An instant or sorcery

Gimme Five

You gain 1 life for each person who high-fives you in the next thirty seconds. Each player in an Un-game who high-fives you gains 1 life. (Offer high fives. Don't hit people.)

Control Win Condition

This spell can't be countered.
Shroud
Control Win Condition's power and toughness are each equal to the number of turns you've taken this game. (If this is in your deck, please keep track of your turns. This means you, Mark.)

Unleash (You may have this creature enter the battlefield with a +1/+1 counter on it. It can't block as long as it has a +1/+1 counter on it.)
Each creature you control with any kind of counter on it has art menace. (They can't be blocked except by creatures with two or more visible figures in their art.)

Chittering Doom

Whenever you roll a 4 or higher on a die, create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token.

Disemvowel

Destroy target creature. That creature's controller loses 1 life for each unique vowel in the creature's name. (The vowels are A, E, I, O, U, and Y.)

Clever Combo

Search your library for a host card or a card with augment, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Killer Cosplay

Whenever Killer Cosplay becomes attached to a creature, choose a creature card name with an identical mana cost. That creature becomes a copy of the card with the chosen name until Killer Cosplay becomes unattached from it.
Equip {3}

Chivalrous Chevalier

Flying
When Chivalrous Chevalier enters the battlefield, return a creature you control to its owner's hand unless you compliment an opponent.

Adorable Kitten

When this creature enters the battlefield, roll a six-sided die. You gain life equal to the result.

Humming-

Flying
Whenever you attack with two or more creatures,
Augment {3}{W} ({3}{W}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Gold Mine

{T}: Add {C}.
Legacy — {T}, Mark one of Gold Mine's unmarked nodes: Add one mana of any color.
☐, ☐, ☐, ☐, ☐

Gallery of Legends

Visit — Exile cards from the top of your library until you exile a nonland card, then choose a legendary creature card name with the same mana value as that card. Create a token that's a copy of the card with the chosen name. That token gains haste. Exile it at the beginning of the next end step.

Flock of Rabid Sheep

Flip X coins. For each flip you win, create a 2/2 green Sheep creature token named Rabid Sheep.

Decisions, Decisions

Reveal the top three cards of your library, then choose a consonant. (Y counts.) Put each card that has the chosen letter in the first word of its name from among them into your hand and the rest on the bottom of your library in any order.

Blood Poet

Spark (Activate spark abilities by spending or giving yourself spark counters. Activate only one spark ability per turn, and only as a sorcery.)
+1: Blood Poet gains lifelink until end of turn.
−3: Target opponent discards a card. You gain life equal to its converted mana cost.

How Is This a Par Three?!

Whenever you cast a spell, you may have target player mill X cards, where X is the number of words in that spell's name.

Geometric Weird

At the beginning of each end step, you may have Geometric Weird's base power and toughness each become equal to the greatest number of spells and abilities from different sources that were on the stack simultaneously that turn.

Circle of Protection: Art

As Circle of Protection: Art enters the battlefield, choose an artist.
{1}{W}: The next time a source of your choice with art by the chosen artist would deal damage to you this turn, prevent that damage.
{1}{W}: Return Circle of Protection: Art to its owner's hand.

Amateur Auteur

Sacrifice Amateur Auteur: Destroy target enchantment.

Command the Chaff

Look at target opponent's sideboard. You may cast a card from that sideboard without paying its mana cost.
Exile Command the Chaff.

Aesthetic Consultation

Choose an artist. Exile the top six cards of your library, then reveal cards from the top of your library until you reveal a card with art by the chosen artist. Put that card in your hand and exile all other cards revealed this way.

Hammer Jammer

As Hammer Jammer enters the battlefield, roll a six-sided die. Hammer Jammer enters the battlefield with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the result.
Whenever you roll a die, remove all +1/+1 counters from Hammer Jammer, then put a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the result.

First strike, protection from watermarks (Nothing with a watermark can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

Bear with Set's Mechanic

Vigilance
Aggressive (During your turn, there is an additional combat phase after the first, and only creatures with aggressive may attack during it.)

capital offense

target creature gets -x/-x until end of turn, where x is the number of times a capital letter appears in its rules text. (ignore reminder text and flavor text.)

Handy Dandy Clone Machine

{2}, {T}: Create a 2/2 colorless Homunculus creature token. It must be represented by a unique hand and two fingers at all times, or it ceases to exist.

Bad Ass

Katerina of Myra's Marvels

As Katerina of Myra's Marvels enters the battlefield, choose a letter.
Whenever you cast a spell whose name begins with the chosen letter, create a white 2/2 Cat creature token with flying.
Partner (You can have two commanders if they both have partner.)

Creature Guy

Gotcha — If an opponent says "creature" or "guy," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Creature Guy from your graveyard to your hand.

Infernius Spawnington III, Esq.

Flying, first strike, trample, haste
This spell costs {3} less to cast for each card you've revealed this turn.
When Infernius Spawnington III, Esq. enters the battlefield, you may say "I'm here." If you do, it deals 3 damage to target player.

Bureaucracy

Pursuant to subsection 3.1(4) of Richard's Rules of Order, at the beginning of the upkeep of each participant in this game of the Magic: The Gathering® trading card game (hereafter known as "PLAYER"), that PLAYER performs all actions in the sequence of previously added actions (hereafter known as "ACTION QUEUE"), in the order those actions were added, then adds another action to the end of the ACTION QUEUE. All actions must be simple physical or verbal actions that a player can perform while sitting in a chair, without jeopardizing the health and security of said PLAYER.
When any PLAYER does not perform all the prescribed actions in the correct order, sacrifice Bureaucracy and said PLAYER discards their complement of cards in hand (hereafter known as "HAND").

How to Keep an Izzet Mage Busy

Return How to Keep an Izzet Mage Busy to its owner's hand.

Impounding Lot-Bot

When Impounding Lot-Bot enters the battlefield, you may say "INCARCERATE!" in a robot voice. If you do, exile another target artifact or enchantment until Impounding Lot-Bot leaves the battlefield.

Angelic Harold

Flying
When Angelic Harold enters the battlefield, you may put a name sticker on a nonland permanent you own.
Each creature you control with three or more words in its name gets +1/+1.

Half-Shark, Half-

At the beginning of your upkeep,
Augment {5}{U} ({5}{U}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Diabolical Salvation

Split second
Create four 4/4 red Devil creature tokens with haste and "When this creature dies, create a colorless Treasure artifact token with '{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.'" Sacrifice the Devil tokens at the beginning of the next end step.