Kenrith, the Returned King

{R}: All creatures gain trample and haste until end of turn.
{1}{G}: Put a +1/+1 counter on target creature.
{2}{W}: Target player gains 5 life.
{3}{U}: Target player draws a card.
{4}{B}: Put target creature card from a graveyard onto the battlefield under its owner's control.

Overgrown Tomb

({T}: Add {B} or {G}.)
As Overgrown Tomb enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

The Ultimate Nightmare of Wizards of the Coast® Customer Service

The Ultimate Nightmare of Wizards of the Coast® Customer Service deals X damage to each of Y target creatures and Z target players or planeswalkers.

Look at Me, I'm the DCI

Ban a card other than a basic land card for the rest of the match. (All cards with that name in any zone or sideboard are removed from the match.)

Hydradoodle

As Hydradoodle enters, roll X six-sided dice. Hydradoodle enters with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the total of those results.
Reach, trample

Urza, Academy Headmaster

+1: Head to AskUrza.com and click +1.
−1: Head to AskUrza.com and click -1.
−6: Head to AskUrza.com and click -6.

Hangman

As Hangman enters, secretly note a word with six to eight letters.
{1}: Target player who doesn't control Hangman guesses the noted word or an unguessed letter in that word. If they guess wrong, put a +1/+1 counter on Hangman. Any player may activate this ability.
When a player guesses the noted word or all of its letters, sacrifice Hangman.

Jack-in-the-Mox

{T}: Roll a six-sided die. This ability has the indicated effect.
1 — Sacrifice Jack-in-the-Mox and you lose 5 life.
2 — Add {W}.
3 — Add {U}.
4 — Add {B}.
5 — Add {R}.
6 — Add {G}.

Double Play

Choose another player. Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle. At the beginning of the first upkeep in your next game with that player, search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

Breeding Pool

({T}: Add {G} or {U}.)
As Breeding Pool enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Our Market Research Shows That Players Like Really Long Card Names So We Made this Card to Have the Absolute Longest Card Name Ever Elemental

Art rampage 2 (Whenever this creature becomes blocked by a creature, it gets +2/+2 for each creature in the blocker's art beyond the first.)

Sol Ring

Watery Grave

({T}: Add {U} or {B}.)
As Watery Grave enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

B.O.B. (Bevy of Beebles)

As B.O.B. enters, create four 1/1 blue Beeble creature tokens.
The number of loyalty counters on B.O.B. is equal to the number of Beebles you control. (Create or sacrifice Beebles whenever B.O.B. gains or loses loyalty.)
+1: Up to X target Beebles can't be blocked this turn, where X is the number of cards in your hand.
−1: Draw a card.

Swamp

Hallowed Fountain

({T}: Add {W} or {U}.)
As Hallowed Fountain enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Buzzing Whack-a-Doodle

As Buzzing Whack-a-Doodle enters, you and an opponent each secretly choose Whack or Doodle. Then those choices are revealed. If the choices match, Buzzing Whack-a-Doodle has that ability. Otherwise, it has Buzz.
• Whack — {T}: Target player loses 2 life.
• Doodle — {T}: You gain 3 life.
• Buzz — {2}, {T}: Draw a card.

Common Courtesy

Whenever a player casts a spell without asking your permission while casting it, counter that spell.
When a player asks you permission to cast a spell and you refuse, counter that spell and sacrifice Common Courtesy.

Scissors Lizard

Creatures named Paper Tiger can't attack or block.

Kindslaver

{5}, {T}, Sacrifice Kindslaver: A person outside the game controls target player during that player's next turn. Neither player may advise that person until the end of that turn.

Cheatyface

If Cheatyface is in your hand, you may sneak Cheatyface onto the battlefield. If an opponent catches you right away, that player may exile Cheatyface.
Flying

Gleemax

You choose all targets for all spells and abilities.

Temple Garden

({T}: Add {G} or {W}.)
As Temple Garden enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Mirror Mirror

Mirror Mirror enters tapped.
{7}, {T}, Sacrifice Mirror Mirror: Choose target player. At the beginning of the next end step, exchange life totals with that player, exchange control of all permanents you and that player control, and exchange cards in your hands, cards in your libraries, and cards in your graveyards.

Island

Stomping Ground

({T}: Add {R} or {G}.)
As Stomping Ground enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Forest

Mox Lotus

{T}: Add {∞}.
{100}: Add one mana of any color.

Delighted Killbot

Free-for-All

When Free-for-All enters, exile all creatures face down.
At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player chooses a card exiled with Free-for-All at random and puts it onto the battlefield.
When Free-for-All leaves the battlefield, put all cards exiled with it into their owners' graveyards.

Steam Vents

({T}: Add {U} or {R}.)
As Steam Vents enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Urza's Fun House

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {∞}. Activate only once and only if you control an Urza's Mine, an Urza's Power-Plant, and an Urza's Tower.
{7}, {T}: Head to AskUrza.com and click Urza's Fun House.

Loose Lips

Enchant creature
As Loose Lips enters, choose a sentence with eight or fewer words.
Enchanted creature has flying.
Whenever enchanted creature deals damage to an opponent, that player may say the chosen sentence. If they don't, you draw two cards.

Jumbo Imp

Flying
As Jumbo Imp enters, roll a six-sided die. Jumbo Imp enters with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the result.
At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die and put a number of +1/+1 counters on Jumbo Imp equal to the result.
At the beginning of your end step, roll a six-sided die and remove a number of +1/+1 counters from Jumbo Imp equal to the result.

Curse of the Fire Penguin Creature

Trample
When this creature dies, return Curse of the Fire Penguin to the battlefield.

Curse of the Fire Penguin

Enchant creature
Curse of the Fire Penguin consumes and confuses enchanted creature.

Curse of the Fire Penguin // Curse of the Fire Penguin Creature

Gerrymandering

Exile all lands. Give each player a number of those cards chosen at random equal to the number of those cards the player controlled. Each player returns those cards to the battlefield under their control.

Double Take

Choose another player. You draw two cards. At the beginning of the first upkeep in your next game with that player, you draw two cards.

Arcane Signet

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Over My Dead Bodies

Creature cards in graveyards can attack and block as though they were on the battlefield, can block or be blocked only by creature cards in graveyards, are Zombies in addition to their other types, and have undeathtouch. (If they would deal damage to a creature card, exile that creature card instead.)
Creature cards in your graveyard have haste.

Letter Bomb

When Letter Bomb enters, sign it and shuffle it into target player's library. That player reveals each card they draw until they draw Letter Bomb. When that player draws Letter Bomb, it deals 19½ damage to them.

Infinity Elemental

Ashnod's Coupon

{T}, Sacrifice Ashnod's Coupon: Target player gets you target drink. You pay any costs for the drink.

Censorship

As Censorship enters, choose a word.
Whenever a player says the chosen word, Censorship deals 2 damage to that player.

Enraged Killbot

Chivalrous Chevalier

Flying
When Chivalrous Chevalier enters, return a creature you control to its owner's hand unless you compliment an opponent.

GO TO JAIL

When GO TO JAIL enters, exile target creature an opponent controls until GO TO JAIL leaves the battlefield.
At the beginning of the upkeep of the exiled card's owner, that player rolls two six-sided dice. If they roll doubles, sacrifice GO TO JAIL.

Plains

Rock Lobster

Creatures named Scissors Lizard can't attack or block.

Man of Measure

As long as you're shorter than an opponent, Man of Measure gets +0/+1 and has first strike.
As long as you're taller than an opponent, Man of Measure gets +1/+0.

Command Tower

Godless Shrine

({T}: Add {W} or {B}.)
As Godless Shrine enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Urza's Power Plant

{T}: Add {C}. If you control an Urza's Mine and an Urza's Tower, add {C}{C} instead.

Double Dip

Choose another player. You gain 5 life. At the beginning of the first upkeep in your next game with that player, you gain 5 life.

Party Crasher

Haste
You can attack with Party Crasher once each combat during each opponent's turn.

Yet Another Aether Vortex

All creatures have haste.
Players play with the top card of their libraries revealed.
Noninstant, nonsorcery cards on top of a library are on the battlefield under their owner's control in addition to being in that library.

Fellwar Stone

{T}: Add one mana of any color that a land an opponent controls could produce.

Incoming!

Each player searches their library for any number of artifact, creature, enchantment, and/or land cards, puts them onto the battlefield, then shuffles.

Graveyard Busybody

All graveyards are also your graveyards.
Graveyard Busybody's power and toughness are each equal to the number of cards with flavor text in your graveyards.

Mana Screw

{1}: Flip a coin. If you win the flip, add {C}{C}. Activate only as an instant.

Rules Lawyer

State-based actions don't apply to you or other permanents you control. (You don't lose the game due to having 0 or less life or drawing from an empty library. Your creatures aren't destroyed due to damage or deathtouch and aren't put into a graveyard due to having 0 or less toughness. Your planeswalkers aren't put into a graveyard if they have 0 loyalty. You don't put a legendary permanent into a graveyard if you control two with the same name. Counters aren't removed from your permanents due to game rules. Permanents you control attached or combined illegally remain on the battlefield. For complete rules and regulations, see rule 704.)

Split Screen

When Split Screen enters, shuffle your library and deal it into four libraries. If anything refers to your library, choose one of your libraries for it.
Play with your libraries' top cards revealed.
When Split Screen leaves the battlefield, shuffle your libraries together.

Hot Fix

You have ten seconds to look at and rearrange the cards in your library. At the end of those ten seconds, if you're touching one or more of those cards, shuffle.

Urza's Mine

{T}: Add {C}. If you control an Urza's Power-Plant and an Urza's Tower, add {C}{C} instead.

Blood Crypt

({T}: Add {B} or {R}.)
As Blood Crypt enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Exotic Orchard

Strategy, Schmategy

Roll a six-sided die. Strategy, Schmategy has the indicated effect.
1 — Do nothing.
2 — Destroy all artifacts.
3 — Destroy all lands.
4 — Strategy, Schmategy deals 3 damage to each creature and each player.
5 — Each player discards their hand and draws seven cards.
6 — Repeat this process two more times.

Goblin Secret Agent

First strike
At the beginning of your upkeep, reveal a card from your hand at random.

Topsy Turvy

The phases of each player's turn are reversed. (The phases are, in reverse order, ending, second main, combat, first main, and beginning.)
As long as there are more than two players in the game, the turn order is reversed.

Mine, Mine, Mine!

When Mine, Mine, Mine! enters, each player puts their library into their hand.
Players have no maximum hand size and don't lose the game for drawing from an empty library.
Each player can't cast more than one spell each turn.
When Mine, Mine, Mine! leaves the battlefield, each player shuffles their hand and graveyard into their library.

Mountain

Underdome

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to pay Un-costs.

Despondent Killbot

B-I-N-G-O

Trample
Whenever a player casts a spell, put a chip counter on its mana value.
B-I-N-G-O gets +9/+9 for each set of three numbers in a row with chip counters on them.

Paper Tiger

Creatures named Rock Lobster can't attack or block.

Greater Morphling

{2}: Greater Morphling gains your choice of banding, bushido 1, double strike, fear, flying, first strike, haste, landwalk of your choice, protection from a color of your choice, provoke, rampage 1, shadow, or trample until end of turn.
{2}: Greater Morphling becomes the colors of your choice until end of turn.
{2}: Greater Morphling becomes the creature type of your choice until end of turn.
{2}: Greater Morphling's expansion symbol becomes the symbol of your choice until end of turn.
{2}: Greater Morphling's art becomes by the artist of your choice until end of turn.
{2}: Greater Morphling gets +2/-2 or -2/+2 until end of turn.
{2}: Untap Greater Morphling.

Nearby Planet

Rangeling (This card is every land type, including Plains, Island, Swamp, Mountain, Forest, Desert, Gate, Lair, Locus, and all those Urza's ones.)
Nearby Planet enters tapped.
When Nearby Planet enters, sacrifice it unless you pay {1}.

Bronze Calendar

Spells you cast cost {1} less to cast.
You must speak in a voice other than your normal voice.
When you speak in your normal voice, sacrifice Bronze Calendar.

Sacred Foundry

({T}: Add {R} or {W}.)
As Sacred Foundry enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Who // What // When // Where // Why

Goblin Tutor

Roll a six-sided die. If you roll a 1, Goblin Tutor has no effect. Otherwise, search your library for the indicated card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.
2 — A card named Goblin Tutor
3 — An enchantment
4 — An artifact
5 — A creature
6 — An instant or sorcery

Granny's Payback

Staying Power

"Until end of turn" and "this turn" effects don't end.

Curious Killbot

Entirely Normal Armchair

During your turn, if Entirely Normal Armchair is in your hand, you may hide it on the battlefield.
{0}: Return Entirely Normal Armchair to its owner's hand. Only your opponents may activate this ability and only if they see Entirely Normal Armchair.
{2}, Sacrifice Entirely Normal Armchair: Destroy target attacking creature.

Blue Ribbon

When Blue Ribbon enters, ask a person outside the game which creature you control is most deserving of a blue ribbon. Attach Blue Ribbon to that creature.
Equipped creature has best in show. (Whenever another creature becomes the target of a spell or ability you control, you may copy that spell or ability. If you do, the copy targets this creature.)
Equip {3}

AWOL

Exile target attacking creature. Then remove it from the game. Then put it into the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game-forever zone.

Urza's Tower

{T}: Add {C}. If you control an Urza's Mine and an Urza's Power-Plant, add {C}{C}{C} instead.

Autograph Book

Autograph Book enters with a page counter on it for each person who has signed it.
{3}, {T}, Remove a page counter from Autograph Book: Draw a card.

Once More with Feeling

Exile all permanents and all cards from all graveyards. Each player shuffles their hand into their library, then draws seven cards. Each player's life total becomes 10. Exile Once More with Feeling.
DCI ruling — A deck can have only one card named Once More with Feeling.