Guff Rewrites History

For each player, choose target nonenchantment, nonland permanent that player controls. Those permanents' owners shuffle them into their libraries. Each player who controlled one of those permanents exiles cards from the top of their library until they exile a nonland card, then puts the rest on the bottom of their library in a random order. Each player may cast the nonland card they exiled without paying its mana cost.

Canyon Slough

({T}: Add {B} or {R}.)
Canyon Slough enters tapped.
Cycling {2} ({2}, Discard this card: Draw a card.)

Vampire's Bite

Kicker {2}{B} (You may pay an additional {2}{B} as you cast this spell.)
Target creature gets +3/+0 until end of turn. If this spell was kicked, that creature gains lifelink until end of turn. (Damage dealt by the creature also causes its controller to gain that much life.)

Voracious Vampire

Menace
When Voracious Vampire enters, target Vampire you control gets +1/+1 and gains menace until end of turn.

Vampire Nighthawk

Flying
Deathtouch (Any amount of damage this deals to a creature is enough to destroy it.)
Lifelink (Damage dealt by this creature also causes you to gain that much life.)

Stromkirk Bloodthief

At the beginning of your end step, if an opponent lost life this turn, put a +1/+1 counter on target Vampire you control.

Gift of Fangs

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +2/+2 as long as it's a Vampire. Otherwise, it gets -2/-2.

Gluttonous Guest

When Gluttonous Guest enters, create a Blood token. (It's an artifact with "{1}, {T}, Discard a card, Sacrifice this artifact: Draw a card.")
Whenever you sacrifice a Blood token, you gain 1 life.

Herald's Horn

As Herald's Horn enters, choose a creature type.
Creature spells you cast of the chosen type cost {1} less to cast.
At the beginning of your upkeep, look at the top card of your library. If it's a creature card of the chosen type, you may reveal it and put it into your hand.

Path of Ancestry

Path of Ancestry enters tapped.
{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity. When that mana is spent to cast a creature spell that shares a creature type with your commander, scry 1. (Look at the top card of your library. You may put that card on the bottom.)

Ceremonial Knife

Equipped creature gets +1/+0 and has "Whenever this creature deals combat damage, create a Blood token." (It's an artifact with "{1}, {T}, Discard a card, Sacrifice this artifact: Draw a card.")
Equip {2} ({2}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Vampire Hexmage

First strike
Sacrifice Vampire Hexmage: Remove all counters from target permanent.

Thriving Bluff

Thriving Bluff enters tapped. As it enters, choose a color other than red.
{T}: Add {R} or one mana of the chosen color.

Mortuary Mire

Mortuary Mire enters tapped.
When Mortuary Mire enters, you may put target creature card from your graveyard on top of your library.
{T}: Add {B}.

Bloodlord of Vaasgoth

Bloodthirst 3 (If an opponent was dealt damage this turn, this creature enters with three +1/+1 counters on it.)
Flying
Whenever you cast a Vampire creature spell, it gains bloodthirst 3.

Trouble

Trouble deals damage to target player equal to the number of cards in that player's hand.
Fuse (You may cast one or both halves of this card from your hand.)

Toil

Target player draws two cards and loses 2 life.
Fuse (You may cast one or both halves of this card from your hand.)

Toil // Trouble

Blood Pact

Target player draws two cards and loses 2 life.

New Blood

As an additional cost to cast this spell, tap an untapped Vampire you control.
Gain control of target creature. Change the text of that creature by replacing all instances of one creature type with Vampire.

Mana Geode

When Mana Geode enters, scry 1.
{T}: Add one mana of any color.

Rowan's Grim Search

Bargain (You may sacrifice an artifact, enchantment, or token as you cast this spell.)
If this spell was bargained, look at the top four cards of your library, then put up to two of them back on top of your library in any order and the rest into your graveyard.
You draw two cards and you lose 2 life.

Rakdos Carnarium

Rakdos Carnarium enters tapped.
When Rakdos Carnarium enters, return a land you control to its owner's hand.
{T}: Add {B}{R}.

Hagra Broodpit

Hagra Broodpit enters tapped.
{T}: Add {B}.

Hagra Mauling

This spell costs {1} less to cast if an opponent controls no basic lands.
Destroy target creature.

Hagra Mauling // Hagra Broodpit

Vampire Scrivener

Flying
Whenever you gain life during your turn, put a +1/+1 counter on Vampire Scrivener.
Whenever you lose life during your turn, put a +1/+1 counter on Vampire Scrivener.

Lightning Greaves

Equipped creature has haste and shroud. (It can't be the target of spells or abilities.)
Equip {0}

Blood Fountain

When Blood Fountain enters, create a Blood token. (It's an artifact with "{1}, {T}, Discard a card, Sacrifice this artifact: Draw a card.")
{3}{B}, {T}, Sacrifice Blood Fountain: Return up to two target creature cards from your graveyard to your hand.

Olivia's Wrath

Each non-Vampire creature gets -X/-X until end of turn, where X is the number of Vampires you control.

Demon's Due

Scry 2, then draw two cards. You lose 2 life.

Temple of the False God

{T}: Add {C}{C}. Activate only if you control five or more lands.

Skeletal Vampire

Flying
When Skeletal Vampire enters, create two 1/1 black Bat creature tokens with flying.
{3}{B}{B}, Sacrifice a Bat: Create two 1/1 black Bat creature tokens with flying.
Sacrifice a Bat: Regenerate Skeletal Vampire.

Blood Artist

Whenever Blood Artist or another creature dies, target player loses 1 life and you gain 1 life.

Vampire Cutthroat

Skulk (This creature can't be blocked by creatures with greater power.)
Lifelink (Damage dealt by this creature also causes you to gain that much life.)

Commander's Sphere

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.
Sacrifice Commander's Sphere: Draw a card.

Twilight Prophet

Flying
Ascend (If you control ten or more permanents, you get the city's blessing for the rest of the game.)
At the beginning of your upkeep, if you have the city's blessing, reveal the top card of your library and put it into your hand. Each opponent loses X life and you gain X life, where X is that card's mana value.

Bloodtithe Harvester

When Bloodtithe Harvester enters, create a Blood token. (It's an artifact with "{1}, {T}, Discard a card, Sacrifice this artifact: Draw a card.")
{T}, Sacrifice Bloodtithe Harvester: Target creature gets -X/-X until end of turn, where X is twice the number of Blood tokens you control. Activate only as a sorcery.

Rakdos Cluestone

{T}: Add {B} or {R}.
{B}{R}, {T}, Sacrifice Rakdos Cluestone: Draw a card.

Evolving Wilds

{T}, Sacrifice this land: Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Lord of Lineage

Flying
Other Vampire creatures you control get +2/+2.
{T}: Create a 2/2 black Vampire creature token with flying.

Bloodline Keeper

Flying
{T}: Create a 2/2 black Vampire creature token with flying.
{B}: Transform Bloodline Keeper. Activate only if you control five or more Vampires.

Bloodline Keeper // Lord of Lineage

Blood Hypnotist

Blood Hypnotist can't block.
Whenever you sacrifice one or more Blood tokens, target creature can't block this turn. This ability triggers only once each turn.

Agent of the Iron Throne

Commander creatures you own have "Whenever an artifact or creature you control is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, each opponent loses 1 life."

Luxury Suite

Luxury Suite enters tapped unless you have two or more opponents.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.

Blood Crypt

({T}: Add {B} or {R}.)
As Blood Crypt enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Falkenrath Pit Fighter

{1}{R}, Discard a card, Sacrifice a Vampire: Draw two cards. Activate only if an opponent lost life this turn.

Night's Whisper

Rakdos Charm

Choose one —
• Exile target player's graveyard.
• Destroy target artifact.
• Each creature deals 1 damage to its controller.

Offer Immortality

Target creature gains deathtouch and indestructible until end of turn. (Damage and effects that say "destroy" don't destroy it.)

Lacerate Flesh

Lacerate Flesh deals 4 damage to target creature. Create a number of Blood tokens equal to the amount of excess damage dealt to that creature this way. (They're artifacts with "{1}, {T}, Discard a card, Sacrifice this artifact: Draw a card.")

Seize the Spotlight

Each opponent chooses fame or fortune. For each player who chose fame, gain control of a creature that player controls until end of turn. Untap those creatures and they gain haste until end of turn. For each player who chose fortune, you draw a card and create a Treasure token.

Victim of Night

Destroy target non-Vampire, non-Werewolf, non-Zombie creature.

Underworld Connections

Enchant land
Enchanted land has "{T}, Pay 1 life: Draw a card."

Preacher of the Schism

Deathtouch
Whenever Preacher of the Schism attacks the player with the most life or tied for most life, create a 1/1 white Vampire creature token with lifelink.
Whenever Preacher of the Schism attacks while you have the most life or are tied for most life, you draw a card and you lose 1 life.

Stensia Banquet

Stensia Banquet deals damage to target opponent or planeswalker equal to the number of Vampires you control.
Draw a card.

Vampire Neonate

{2}, {T}: Each opponent loses 1 life and you gain 1 life.

Markov Enforcer

Whenever Markov Enforcer or another Vampire you control enters, Markov Enforcer fights up to one target creature an opponent controls.
Whenever a creature dealt damage by Markov Enforcer this turn dies, create a Blood token. (It's an artifact with "{1}, {T}, Discard a card, Sacrifice this artifact: Draw a card.")

Sulfurous Springs

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}. Sulfurous Springs deals 1 damage to you.

Patchwork Banner

As Patchwork Banner enters, choose a creature type.
Creatures you control of the chosen type get +1/+1.
{T}: Add one mana of any color.

Bone Harvest

Put any number of target creature cards from your graveyard on top of your library.
Draw a card at the beginning of the next turn's upkeep.

Falkenrath Forebear

Flying
Falkenrath Forebear can't block.
Whenever Falkenrath Forebear deals combat damage to a player, create a Blood token.
{B}, Sacrifice two Blood tokens: Return Falkenrath Forebear from your graveyard to the battlefield.

Arcane Signet

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Champion of Dusk

When Champion of Dusk enters, you draw X cards and you lose X life, where X is the number of Vampires you control.

Dogged Pursuit

At the beginning of your end step, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain 1 life.

Chromatic Lantern

Lands you control have "{T}: Add one mana of any color."
{T}: Add one mana of any color.

Urborg, Tomb of Yawgmoth

Each land is a Swamp in addition to its other land types.

Tramway Station

Tramway Station enters tapped.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.
{2}{B}{R}, {T}, Sacrifice Tramway Station: Draw a card.

Faithless Looting

Draw two cards, then discard two cards.
Flashback {2}{R} (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its flashback cost. Then exile it.)

Anowon, the Ruin Sage

At the beginning of your upkeep, each player sacrifices a non-Vampire creature of their choice.

Glass-Cast Heart

Whenever one or more Vampires you control attack, create a Blood token. (It's an artifact with "{1}, {T}, Discard a card, Sacrifice this artifact: Draw a card.")
{B}, {T}, Pay 1 life: Create a 1/1 white and black Vampire creature token with lifelink.
{B}{B}, {T}, Sacrifice Glass-Cast Heart and thirteen Blood tokens: Each opponent loses 13 life and you gain 13 life.

Dominating Vampire

When Dominating Vampire enters, gain control of target creature with mana value less than or equal to the number of Vampires you control until end of turn. Untap that creature. It gains haste until end of turn.

Darksteel Ingot

Indestructible (Effects that say "destroy" don't destroy this artifact.)
{T}: Add one mana of any color.

Bloodsoaked Reveler

At the beginning of your end step, if you gained life this turn, create a Blood token. (It's an artifact with "{1}, {T}, Discard a card, Sacrifice this artifact: Draw a card.")
{4}{B}: Each opponent loses 2 life and you gain 2 life.

Restless Bloodseeker

At the beginning of your end step, if you gained life this turn, create a Blood token. (It's an artifact with "{1}, {T}, Discard a card, Sacrifice this artifact: Draw a card.")
Sacrifice two Blood tokens: Transform Restless Bloodseeker. Activate only as a sorcery.

Restless Bloodseeker // Bloodsoaked Reveler

Swiftfoot Boots

Equipped creature has hexproof and haste. (It can't be the target of spells or abilities your opponents control. It can attack and {T} no matter when it came under your control.)
Equip {1} ({1}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Molten Echoes

As Molten Echoes enters, choose a creature type.
Whenever a nontoken creature you control of the chosen type enters, create a token that's a copy of that creature. That token gains haste. Exile it at the beginning of the next end step.

Read the Bones

Scry 2, then draw two cards. You lose 2 life. (To scry 2, look at the top two cards of your library, then put any number of them on the bottom and the rest on top in any order.)

Agadeem, the Undercrypt

As Agadeem, the Undercrypt enters, you may pay 3 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.
{T}: Add {B}.

Agadeem's Awakening

Return from your graveyard to the battlefield any number of target creature cards that each have a different mana value X or less.

Agadeem's Awakening // Agadeem, the Undercrypt

Sanctum Seeker

Whenever a Vampire you control attacks, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain 1 life.

Arterial Alchemy

When Arterial Alchemy enters, create a Blood token for each opponent you have. (It's an artifact with "{1}, {T}, Discard a card, Sacrifice this artifact: Draw a card.")
Blood tokens you control are Equipment in addition to their other types and have "Equipped creature gets +2/+0" and equip {2}.

Bontu's Monument

Black creature spells you cast cost {1} less to cast.
Whenever you cast a creature spell, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain 1 life.

Vampire's Kiss

Target player loses 2 life and you gain 2 life. Create two Blood tokens. (They're artifacts with "{1}, {T}, Discard a card, Sacrifice this artifact: Draw a card.")

Sol Ring

Dark Ritual

Blood Tribute

Kicker—Tap an untapped Vampire you control. (You may tap a Vampire you control in addition to any other costs as you cast this spell.)
Target opponent loses half their life, rounded up. If this spell was kicked, you gain life equal to the life lost this way.

Neonate's Rush

This spell costs {1} less to cast if you control a Vampire.
Neonate's Rush deals 1 damage to target creature and 1 damage to its controller. Draw a card.

Vampire Envoy

Flying
Whenever Vampire Envoy becomes tapped, you gain 1 life.

Lich-Knights' Conquest

Sacrifice any number of artifacts, enchantments, and/or tokens. Return that many creature cards from your graveyard to the battlefield.

Firemind Vessel

Firemind Vessel enters tapped.
{T}: Add two mana of different colors.

Lightning Bolt

Lightning Bolt deals 3 damage to any target.

Sadistic Skymarcher

As an additional cost to cast this spell, reveal a Vampire card from your hand or pay {1}.
Flying, lifelink

Voldaren Epicure

When Voldaren Epicure enters, it deals 1 damage to each opponent. Create a Blood token. (It's an artifact with "{1}, {T}, Discard a card, Sacrifice this artifact: Draw a card.")

Blade of the Bloodchief

Whenever a creature dies, put a +1/+1 counter on equipped creature. If equipped creature is a Vampire, put two +1/+1 counters on it instead.
Equip {1}

Vanquisher's Banner

As Vanquisher's Banner enters, choose a creature type.
Creatures you control of the chosen type get +1/+1.
Whenever you cast a creature spell of the chosen type, draw a card.

Bloodbat Summoner

Flying
At the beginning of combat on your turn, up to one target Blood token you control becomes a 2/2 black Bat creature with flying and haste in addition to its other types.

Voldaren Bloodcaster

Flying
Whenever Voldaren Bloodcaster or another nontoken creature you control dies, create a Blood token. (It's an artifact with "{1}, {T}, Discard a card, Sacrifice this artifact: Draw a card.")
Whenever you create a Blood token, if you control five or more Blood tokens, transform Voldaren Bloodcaster.

Voldaren Bloodcaster // Bloodbat Summoner

Thrill of Possibility

As an additional cost to cast this spell, discard a card.
Draw two cards.

Command Tower

Vindictive Vampire

Whenever another creature you control dies, Vindictive Vampire deals 1 damage to each opponent and you gain 1 life.

Grisly Ritual

Destroy target creature or planeswalker. Create two Blood tokens. (They're artifacts with "{1}, {T}, Discard a card, Sacrifice this artifact: Draw a card.")