Pie-Eating Contest

As an additional cost to cast this spell, gobble X. (Each time you gobble, take a bite of food or sacrifice a Food token.)
X target creatures you control each get +2/+2 and gain trample until end of turn.

Ramos, Dragon Engine

Flying
Whenever you cast a spell, put a +1/+1 counter on Ramos for each of that spell's colors.
Remove five +1/+1 counters from Ramos: Add {W}{W}{U}{U}{B}{B}{R}{R}{G}{G}. Activate only once each turn.

Bonehoard

Living weapon (When this Equipment enters, create a 0/0 black Phyrexian Germ creature token, then attach this to it.)
Equipped creature gets +X/+X, where X is the number of creature cards in all graveyards.
Equip {2}

Gut Shot

({R/P} can be paid with either {R} or 2 life.)
Gut Shot deals 1 damage to any target.

Plains

Helium Squirter

Graft 3 (This creature enters with three +1/+1 counters on it. Whenever another creature enters, you may move a +1/+1 counter from this creature onto it.)
{1}: Target creature with a +1/+1 counter on it gains flying until end of turn.

Stream of Life

Swallowing Plague

Swallowing Plague deals X damage to target creature and you gain X life.

Dirty

Return target card from your graveyard to your hand.
Fuse (You may cast one or both halves of this card from your hand.)

Down

Target player discards two cards.
Fuse (You may cast one or both halves of this card from your hand.)

Down // Dirty

Sticky Fingers

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature has menace and "Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, create a Treasure token." (It can't be blocked except by two or more creatures. The token is an artifact with "{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.")
When enchanted creature dies, draw a card.

Plow Under

Put two target lands on top of their owners' libraries.

Goblin Game

Each player hides at least one item, then all players reveal them simultaneously. Each player loses life equal to the number of items they revealed. The player who revealed the fewest items then loses half their life, rounded up. If two or more players are tied for fewest, each loses half their life, rounded up.

Have for Dinner

Create a 1/1 white Human creature token and a Food token. (Then exile this card. You may cast the creature later from exile.)

Devouring Sugarmaw

Menace, trample
At the beginning of your upkeep, you may sacrifice an artifact, enchantment, or token. If you don't, tap Devouring Sugarmaw.

Devouring Sugarmaw // Have for Dinner

Mountain

Skewer Slinger

Reach
Whenever Skewer Slinger blocks or becomes blocked by a creature, Skewer Slinger deals 1 damage to that creature.

The Rack

As The Rack enters, choose an opponent.
At the beginning of the chosen player's upkeep, The Rack deals X damage to that player, where X is 3 minus the number of cards in their hand.

Stinkdrinker Bandit

Prowl {1}{B} (You may cast this for its prowl cost if you dealt combat damage to a player this turn with a Goblin or Rogue.)
Whenever a Rogue you control attacks and isn't blocked, it gets +2/+1 until end of turn.

Mudhole

Target player exiles all land cards from their graveyard.

Commander's Sphere

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.
Sacrifice Commander's Sphere: Draw a card.

Ooze Garden

{1}{G}, Sacrifice a non-Ooze creature: Create an X/X green Ooze creature token, where X is the sacrificed creature's power. Activate only as a sorcery.

Tainted Peak

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}. Activate only if you control a Swamp.

Bump in the Night

Target opponent loses 3 life.
Flashback {5}{R} (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its flashback cost. Then exile it.)

Tainted Sigil

{T}, Sacrifice Tainted Sigil: You gain life equal to the total life lost by all players this turn. (Damage causes loss of life.)

Head to Head

You and target opponent play Seven Questions with the top card of that player's library. If you win, prevent all damage that would be dealt this turn by a source of your choice. (To play Seven Questions, that player looks at the card, then you ask up to six yes-or-no questions about the card that they answer truthfully. You guess the card's name—that's question seven—then the player reveals the card.)

Nether Horror

Tainted Remedy

If an opponent would gain life, that player loses that much life instead.

Ravaged Highlands

Ravaged Highlands enters tapped.
{T}: Add {R}.
{T}, Sacrifice Ravaged Highlands: Add one mana of any color.

Scared Stiff

Scared Stiff has menace as long you control a stickered permanent.

Tainted Indulgence

Draw two cards. Then discard a card unless there are five or more mana values among cards in your graveyard.

Sol'Kanar the Tainted

At the beginning of your end step, choose one that hasn't been chosen —
• Draw a card.
• Each opponent loses 2 life and you gain 2 life.
• Sol'Kanar the Tainted deals 3 damage to up to one other target creature or planeswalker.
• Exile Sol'Kanar, then return it to the battlefield under an opponent's control.

Garth One-Eye

{T}: Choose a card name that hasn't been chosen from among Disenchant, Braingeyser, Terror, Shivan Dragon, Regrowth, and Black Lotus. Create a copy of the card with the chosen name. You may cast the copy. (You still pay its costs.)

Working Stiff

As Working Stiff enters, straighten your arms.
When you bend an elbow, sacrifice Working Stiff.

Quicken

The next sorcery spell you cast this turn can be cast as though it had flash. (It can be cast any time you could cast an instant.)
Draw a card.

Swallow Whole

As an additional cost to cast this spell, tap an untapped creature you control.
Exile target tapped creature. Put a +1/+1 counter on the creature tapped to pay this spell's additional cost.

Deep Wood

Cast this spell only during the declare attackers step and only if you've been attacked this step.
Prevent all damage that would be dealt to you this turn by attacking creatures.

Skinwing

Living weapon (When this Equipment enters, create a 0/0 black Phyrexian Germ creature token, then attach this to it.)
Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has flying.
Equip {6}

Sol Ring

Nether Spirit

At the beginning of your upkeep, if Nether Spirit is the only creature card in your graveyard, you may return Nether Spirit to the battlefield.

Mind Stone

{T}: Add {C}.
{1}, {T}, Sacrifice Mind Stone: Draw a card.

Bust

Boom

Destroy target land you control and target land you don't control.

Boom // Bust

Growth Spurt

Roll a six-sided die. Target creature gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the result.

Deploy to the Front

Create X 1/1 white Soldier creature tokens, where X is the number of creatures on the battlefield.

First Come, First Served

Each attacking or blocking creature with the lowest collector number among attacking or blocking creatures has first strike.

Seedtime

Cast this spell only during your turn.
Take an extra turn after this one if an opponent cast a blue spell this turn.

Blast Zone

Blast Zone enters with a charge counter on it.
{T}: Add {C}.
{X}{X}, {T}: Put X charge counters on Blast Zone.
{3}, {T}, Sacrifice Blast Zone: Destroy each nonland permanent with mana value equal to the number of charge counters on Blast Zone.

Nut Collector

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token.
Threshold — All Squirrels get +2/+2 as long as seven or more cards are in your graveyard.

Tainted Observer

Flying
Toxic 1 (Players dealt combat damage by this creature also get a poison counter.)
Whenever another creature you control enters, you may pay {2}. If you do, proliferate. (Choose any number of permanents and/or players, then give each another counter of each kind already there.)

Quick-Stick Lick Trick

Whenever you crank Quick-Stick Lick Trick, target creature gets +1/+1 and gains lifelink until end of turn.

Power Taint

Enchant enchantment
At the beginning of the upkeep of enchanted enchantment's controller, that player loses 2 life unless they pay {2}.
Cycling {2} ({2}, Discard this card: Draw a card.)

Island

Tunnel Ignus

Whenever a land enters under an opponent's control, if that player had another land enter the battlefield under their control this turn, Tunnel Ignus deals 3 damage to that player.

Five-Finger Discount

Put target nonland permanent into your hand. You may spend mana as though it were mana of any color the next time you cast that card.

Tough Cookie

When Tough Cookie enters, create a Food token. (It's an artifact with "{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.")
{2}{G}: Until end of turn, target noncreature artifact you control becomes a 4/4 artifact creature.
{2}, {T}, Sacrifice Tough Cookie: You gain 3 life.

Eaten Alive

As an additional cost to cast this spell, sacrifice a creature or pay {3}{B}.
Exile target creature or planeswalker.

Swamp

Seedpod Caretaker

When Seedpod Caretaker enters, choose one —
• Put a +1/+1 counter on target artifact or creature you control.
• Transform target Incubator token you control.

Back-Alley Gardener

Alliance — Whenever one or more other creatures enter the battlefield under your control, seek a land card, then put it onto the battlefield tapped. This ability triggers only once each turn.

Spitting Slug

Whenever Spitting Slug blocks or becomes blocked, you may pay {1}{G}. If you do, Spitting Slug gains first strike until end of turn. Otherwise, each creature blocking or blocked by Spitting Slug gains first strike until end of turn.

Throatseeker

Unblocked attacking Ninjas you control have lifelink.

Backstreet Bruiser

Defender
As long as there are two or more counters among creatures you control, Backstreet Bruiser can attack as though it didn't have defender.

Tainted Field

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {W} or {B}. Activate only if you control a Swamp.

Swallow the Hero Whole

Each player exiles a creature they control. Until the Hydra's next turn, when a Head leaves the battlefield, return the exiled cards to the battlefield under their owners' control.

Tainted Aether

Whenever a creature enters, its controller sacrifices a creature or land of their choice.

Tainted Strike

Target creature gets +1/+0 and gains infect until end of turn. (It deals damage to creatures in the form of -1/-1 counters and to players in the form of poison counters.)

Trash Bin

Visit — Mill two cards, then return a card at random from your graveyard to your hand. (To mill a card, a player puts the top card of their library into their graveyard.)

Boing!

Return target creature to its owner's hand, then roll a six-sided die. If the result is 3 or less, scry a number of cards equal to the result.

Loose Lips

Enchant creature
As Loose Lips enters, choose a sentence with eight or fewer words.
Enchanted creature has flying.
Whenever enchanted creature deals damage to an opponent, that player may say the chosen sentence. If they don't, you draw two cards.

Casting of Bones

Enchant creature
When enchanted creature dies, draw three cards, then discard one of them.

Fleshpulper Giant

When Fleshpulper Giant enters, you may destroy target creature with toughness 2 or less.

Guttersnipe

Whenever you cast an instant or sorcery spell, this creature deals 2 damage to each opponent.

Nether Traitor

Haste
Shadow (This creature can block or be blocked by only creatures with shadow.)
Whenever another creature is put into your graveyard from the battlefield, you may pay {B}. If you do, return Nether Traitor from your graveyard to the battlefield.

Top-Secret Tunnel

Whenever you crank Top-Secret Tunnel, target creature can't be blocked this turn.

Portable Hole

When Portable Hole enters, exile target nonland permanent an opponent controls with mana value 2 or less until Portable Hole leaves the battlefield.

Tainted Monkey

{T}: Choose a word. Target player mills a card. If a card with the chosen word in its text box was milled this way, they lose 3 life.

Lobe Lobber

Equipped creature has "{T}: This creature deals 1 damage to target player or planeswalker. Roll a six-sided die. On a 5 or higher, untap it."
Equip {2}

Tainted Well

Enchant land
When Tainted Well enters, draw a card.
Enchanted land is a Swamp.

Willing

Creatures you control gain deathtouch and lifelink until end of turn.
Fuse (You may cast one or both halves of this card from your hand.)

Ready

Creatures you control gain indestructible until end of turn. Untap each creature you control.
Fuse (You may cast one or both halves of this card from your hand.)

Ready // Willing

Thran Dynamo

Hardened Berserker

Whenever Hardened Berserker attacks, the next spell you cast this turn costs {1} less to cast.

Coming Attraction

Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle. Open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)

Throne of Bone

Whenever a player casts a black spell, you may pay {1}. If you do, you gain 1 life.

Flesh-Eater Imp

Flying
Infect (This creature deals damage to creatures in the form of -1/-1 counters and to players in the form of poison counters.)
Sacrifice a creature: Flesh-Eater Imp gets +1/+1 until end of turn.

Plunge into Darkness

Choose one —
• Sacrifice any number of creatures. You gain 3 life for each creature sacrificed this way.
• Pay any amount of life, then look at that many cards from the top of your library. Put one of those cards into your hand and exile the rest.
Entwine {B} (Choose both if you pay the entwine cost.)

Fistful of Force

Target creature gets +2/+2 until end of turn. Clash with an opponent. If you win, that creature gets an additional +2/+2 and gains trample until end of turn. (Each clashing player reveals the top card of their library, then puts that card on the top or bottom. A player wins if their card had a higher mana value.)

Coiling Woodworm

Coiling Woodworm's power is equal to the number of Forests on the battlefield.

Nether Shadow

Haste
At the beginning of your upkeep, if Nether Shadow is in your graveyard with three or more creature cards above it, you may put Nether Shadow onto the battlefield.

Wand of Wonder

{4}, {T}: Roll a d20. Each opponent exiles cards from the top of their library until they exile an instant or sorcery card, then shuffles the rest into their library. You may cast up to X instant and/or sorcery spells from among cards exiled this way without paying their mana costs.
1—9 | X is one.
10—19 | X is two.
20 | X is three.

Explosive Growth

Kicker {5} (You may pay an additional {5} as you cast this spell.)
Target creature gets +2/+2 until end of turn. If this spell was kicked, that creature gets +5/+5 until end of turn instead.

Tainted Wood

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {B} or {G}. Activate only if you control a Swamp.

Combust

This spell can't be countered.
Combust deals 5 damage to target white or blue creature. The damage can't be prevented.

Rod of Spanking

{2}, {T}: Rod of Spanking deals 1 damage to target player. Then untap Rod of Spanking unless that player says "Thank you, sir. May I have another?"

Steppe Lynx

Landfall — Whenever a land you control enters, Steppe Lynx gets +2/+2 until end of turn.

Coming In Hot

Target creature gets +1/+0 and gains first strike until end of turn. Scry 1. (Look at the top card of your library. You may put that card on the bottom.)

Eye to Eye

You and target creature's controller have a staring contest. If you win, destroy that creature.

Bone Flute

{2}, {T}: All creatures get -1/-0 until end of turn.

Mystic Snake

Flash
When Mystic Snake enters, counter target spell.

Ground Pounder

{3}{G}: Roll a six-sided die. Ground Pounder gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the result.
Whenever you roll a 5 or higher on a die, Ground Pounder gains trample until end of turn.

Growth Spasm

Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle. Create a 0/1 colorless Eldrazi Spawn creature token. It has "Sacrifice this creature: Add {C}."

Arc Spitter

Equipped creature has "{1}: This creature deals 1 damage to target creature that's blocking it."
Equip {1} ({1}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

{"ops":[{"insert":"No synergy. No win con. Just the worst vibes imaginable.\n"}]}