Snickering Squirrel

You may tap Snickering Squirrel to increase the result of a die any player rolled by 1.

capital offense

target creature gets -x/-x until end of turn, where x is the number of times a capital letter appears in its rules text. (ignore reminder text and flavor text.)

Farewell to Arms

As Farewell to Arms enters, choose a hand attached to an opponent's arm.
When the chosen hand isn't behind its owner's back, sacrifice Farewell to Arms. If you do, that player discards their hand . . . of cards. (The lawyers wouldn't let us do it the other way.)

Eye to Eye

You and target creature's controller have a staring contest. If you win, destroy that creature.

Border Guardian

Whenever you cast a silver-bordered spell, put a +1/+1 counter on Border Guardian.
Whenever you cast a black-bordered spell, Border Guardian can't be blocked this turn.
Whenever you cast a white-bordered spell, Border Guardian gains double strike until end of turn.

Form of the Squirrel

As Form of the Squirrel enters, create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token. You lose the game when that creature leaves the battlefield.
Creatures can't attack you.
You have shroud.
You can't cast spells.

Name Dropping

Gotcha — If an opponent says a word that's in the name of a card in your graveyard, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return that card to your hand.

Druid's Call

Enchant creature
Whenever enchanted creature is dealt damage, its controller creates that many 1/1 green Squirrel creature tokens.

Krosan Beast

Threshold — Krosan Beast gets +7/+7 as long as seven or more cards are in your graveyard.

Squirrel Wrangler

{1}{G}, Sacrifice a land: Create two 1/1 green Squirrel creature tokens.
{1}{G}, Sacrifice a land: Squirrel creatures get +1/+1 until end of turn.

Squirrel Farm

{1}{G}: Reveal a card in your hand, covering the artist credit. Target opponent guesses the artist. If they guess wrong, create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token.

Kill! Destroy!

Destroy target nonblack creature.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "kill" or "destroy," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Kill! Destroy! from your graveyard to your hand.

Handcuffs

As Handcuffs enters, choose a player.
When the chosen player's hands aren't touching each other, sacrifice Handcuffs and that player sacrifices three permanents.

Gerrymandering

Exile all lands. Give each player a number of those cards chosen at random equal to the number of those cards the player controlled. Each player returns those cards to the battlefield under their control.

Infernal Spawn of Evil

Flying, first strike
{1}{B}, Reveal Infernal Spawn of Evil from your hand, Say "It's coming!": Infernal Spawn of Evil deals 1 damage to target opponent or planeswalker. Activate only during your upkeep and only once each turn.

Steel Squirrel

Whenever you roll a 5 or higher on a die, Steel Squirrel gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the result.
{6}: Roll a six-sided die.

Destroy target creature with reminder text. (Reminder text is any italicized text in parentheses that explains rules you already know.)

Squirrel Dealer

When Squirrel Dealer enters, ask a person outside the game "Do you like Squirrels?" If they do, create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token.

Hangman

As Hangman enters, secretly note a word with six to eight letters.
{1}: Target player who doesn't control Hangman guesses the noted word or an unguessed letter in that word. If they guess wrong, put a +1/+1 counter on Hangman. Any player may activate this ability.
When a player guesses the noted word or all of its letters, sacrifice Hangman.

Over My Dead Bodies

Creature cards in graveyards can attack and block as though they were on the battlefield, can block or be blocked only by creature cards in graveyards, are Zombies in addition to their other types, and have undeathtouch. (If they would deal damage to a creature card, exile that creature card instead.)
Creature cards in your graveyard have haste.

Mox Lotus

{T}: Add {∞}.
{100}: Add one mana of any color.

Liege of the Hollows

When Liege of the Hollows dies, each player may pay any amount of mana. Then each player creates a number of 1/1 green Squirrel creature tokens equal to the amount of mana they paid this way.

Acorn Harvest

Create two 1/1 green Squirrel creature tokens.
Flashback—{1}{G}, Pay 3 life. (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its flashback cost. Then exile it.)

Organ Harvest

Your team may sacrifice any number of creatures. For each creature sacrificed this way, you add {B}{B}.

Evolution Sage

Landfall — Whenever a land you control enters, proliferate. (Choose any number of permanents and/or players, then give each another counter of each kind already there.)

Squirrel Mob

Squirrel Mob gets +1/+1 for each other Squirrel on the battlefield.

Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil

Flying, first strike, trample
Once each turn, while you're searching your library, you may pay {1}{B}, reveal Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil from your library and say "I'm coming, too!" If you do, Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil deals 2 damage to a player of your choice.

Bloodletter

When the names of three or more nonland permanents begin with the same letter, sacrifice Bloodletter. If you do, it deals 2 damage to each creature and each player.

Druid of the Sacred Beaker

{T}: Add {G} for each Crossbreed Labs watermark among permanents you control.

Deep Forest Hermit

Vanishing 3 (This creature enters with three time counters on it. At the beginning of your upkeep, remove a time counter from it. When the last is removed, sacrifice it.)
When Deep Forest Hermit enters, create four 1/1 green Squirrel creature tokens.
Squirrels you control get +1/+1.

Squirrel-Powered Scheme

Increase the result of each die you roll by 2.

Squirrel Nest

Enchant land
Enchanted land has "{T}: Create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token."

Infernius Spawnington III, Esq.

Flying, first strike, trample, haste
This spell costs {3} less to cast for each card you've revealed this turn.
When Infernius Spawnington III, Esq. enters, you may say "I'm here." If you do, it deals 3 damage to target player.

Deranged Hermit

Echo {3}{G}{G} (At the beginning of your upkeep, if this came under your control since the beginning of your last upkeep, sacrifice it unless you pay its echo cost.)
When Deranged Hermit enters, create four 1/1 green Squirrel creature tokens.
Squirrel creatures get +1/+1.

Chittering Doom

Whenever you roll a 4 or higher on a die, create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token.

Acorn Catapult

{1}, {T}: Acorn Catapult deals 1 damage to any target. That permanent's controller or that player creates a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token.

Earl of Squirrel

Squirrellink (Damage dealt by this creature also causes you to create that many 1/1 green Squirrel creature tokens.)
Creature tokens you control are Squirrels in addition to their other creature types.
Other Squirrels you control get +1/+1.

Ineffable Blessing

As Ineffable Blessing enters, choose white-bordered or silver-bordered.
Whenever a creature you control with the chosen border enters, draw a card.

Chatter of the Squirrel

Create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token.
Flashback {1}{G} (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its flashback cost. Then exile it.)

Acornelia, Fashionable Filcher

Whenever you cast a spell with a squirrel in its art, you get {A} (an acorn counter).
Whenever a Squirrel you control enters or dies, you get {A}.
{2}{B}, Pay X {A}: Target creature gets -X/-X until end of turn.
{G}, Pay X {A}: Target creature gets +X/+X until end of turn.

Hazmat Suit (Used)

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +2/+1 and has menace.
Whenever a player's skin or fingernail touches enchanted creature, that player loses 2 life.

Ashnod's Coupon

{T}, Sacrifice Ashnod's Coupon: Target player gets you target drink. You pay any costs for the drink.

Bronze Calendar

Spells you cast cost {1} less to cast.
You must speak in a voice other than your normal voice.
When you speak in your normal voice, sacrifice Bronze Calendar.

Ashnod's Altar

Nut Collector

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token.
Threshold — All Squirrels get +2/+2 as long as seven or more cards are in your graveyard.