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Me when I Fucking Get You
Whenever you attack, if it's the first combat phase of the turn, untap all attacking creatures. They gain first strike until end of turn. After this phase, there is an additional combat phase. Choose a Background (You can have a Background as a second commander.)

Me when I Fucking Get You
Britney Bitch
Choose one — • Charge of the Mites deals damage equal to the number of creatures you control to target creature or planeswalker. • Create two 1/1 colorless Phyrexian Mite artifact creature tokens with toxic 1 and "This token can't block." (Players dealt combat damage by them also get a poison counter.)

Toxic 1 (Players dealt combat damage by this creature also get a poison counter.) When this creature enters, you may return another permanent you control to its owner's hand. If you do, create a 1/1 colorless Phyrexian Mite artifact creature token with toxic 1 and "This token can't block."

First strike During your turn, creature tokens you control get +1/+0 and have first strike. {3}{W/P}: Create a 1/1 colorless Phyrexian Mite artifact creature token with toxic 1 and "This token can't block." (Players dealt combat damage by it also get a poison counter. {W/P} can be paid with either {W} or 2 life.)

At the beginning of your upkeep, you lose 1 life and create a 1/1 colorless Phyrexian Mite artifact creature token with toxic 1 and "This token can't block." Corrupted — As long as an opponent has three or more poison counters, creatures you control with toxic have lifelink.

Toxic 1 (Players dealt combat damage by this creature also get a poison counter.) Skrelv can't block. {W/P}, {T}: Choose a color. Another target creature you control gains toxic 1 and hexproof from that color until end of turn. It can't be blocked by creatures of that color this turn. ({W/P} can be paid with either {W} or 2 life.)

Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has protection from white and from blue. Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, put a +1/+1 counter on a creature you control, then proliferate. (Choose any number of permanents and/or players, then give each another counter of each kind already there.) Equip {2}

Britney Bitch
More Tokens for your Tokens
Flying, myriad Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, draw a card if that player has more cards in hand than each other player. Then you create a Treasure token if that player controls more lands than each other player. Then you gain 3 life if that player has more life than each other player.

At the beginning of each opponent's end step, if you didn't lose life this turn, you may put a quest counter on this enchantment. (Damage causes loss of life.) {1}{W}: Create a 4/4 white Angel creature token with flying. Activate only if this enchantment has four or more quest counters on it.

Flying, lifelink, haste Whenever Otharri attacks, you get an experience counter. Then create a 2/2 red Rebel creature token that's tapped and attacking for each experience counter you have. {2}{R}{W}, Tap an untapped Rebel you control: Return this card from your graveyard to the battlefield tapped.

More Tokens for your Tokens
Incubate
Choose one — • Destroy target nontoken artifact or enchantment an opponent controls. Incubate 2. (Create an Incubator token with two +1/+1 counters on it and "{2}: Transform this token." It transforms into a 0/0 Phyrexian artifact creature.) • Incubate 2, then transform an Incubator token you control.

Incubate
Nuh Uh
Choose one. If you control a commander as you cast this spell, you may choose both instead. • Creatures you control gain flying, vigilance, and double strike until end of turn. • Creatures you control gain lifelink, indestructible, and protection from each color until end of turn.

Nuh Uh
Land
This land enters tapped. {T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity. When that mana is spent to cast a creature spell that shares a creature type with your commander, scry 1. (Look at the top card of your library. You may put that card on the bottom.)

Hideaway 4 (When this land enters, look at the top four cards of your library, exile one face down, then put the rest on the bottom in a random order.) This land enters tapped. {T}: Add {W}. {W}, {T}: You may play the exiled card without paying its mana cost if you attacked with three or more creatures this turn.

Land
The Best Three Cards in Magic: The Gathering
The Best Three Cards in Magic: The Gathering
Mana
Mana
You Stop That
You Stop That
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