Guff Rewrites History

For each player, choose target nonenchantment, nonland permanent that player controls. Those permanents' owners shuffle them into their libraries. Each player who controlled one of those permanents exiles cards from the top of their library until they exile a nonland card, then puts the rest on the bottom of their library in a random order. Each player may cast the nonland card they exiled without paying its mana cost.

Saruman's Trickery

Counter target spell.
Amass Orcs 1. (Put a +1/+1 counter on an Army you control. It's also an Orc. If you don't control an Army, create a 0/0 black Orc Army creature token first.)

Stormcarved Coast

Stormcarved Coast enters tapped unless you control two or more other lands.
{T}: Add {U} or {R}.

Assault Strobe

Target creature gains double strike until end of turn. (It deals both first-strike and regular combat damage.)

Treasure Nabber

Whenever an opponent taps an artifact for mana, gain control of that artifact until the end of your next turn.

Widespread Brutality

Amass Zombies 2, then the Army you amassed deals damage equal to its power to each non-Army creature. (To amass Zombies 2, put two +1/+1 counters on an Army you control. It's also a Zombie. If you don't control an Army, create a 0/0 black Zombie Army creature token first.)

Mauhúr, Uruk-hai Captain

Menace
If one or more +1/+1 counters would be put on an Army, Goblin, or Orc you control, that many plus one +1/+1 counters are put on it instead.

Crosis's Charm

Choose one —
• Return target permanent to its owner's hand.
• Destroy target nonblack creature. It can't be regenerated.
• Destroy target artifact.

Command Tower

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Badlands

Animate Dead

Enchant creature card in a graveyard
When Animate Dead enters, if it's on the battlefield, it loses "enchant creature card in a graveyard" and gains "enchant creature put onto the battlefield with Animate Dead." Return enchanted creature card to the battlefield under your control and attach Animate Dead to it. When Animate Dead leaves the battlefield, that creature's controller sacrifices it.
Enchanted creature gets -1/-0.

Anger

Haste
As long as Anger is in your graveyard and you control a Mountain, creatures you control have haste.

Call of the Ring

At the beginning of your upkeep, the Ring tempts you.
Whenever you choose a creature as your Ring-bearer, you may pay 2 life. If you do, draw a card.

Leap

Target creature gains flying until end of turn.
Draw a card.

Saruman the White

Ward {2}
Whenever you cast your second spell each turn, amass Orcs 2. (Put two +1/+1 counters on an Army you control. It's also an Orc. If you don't control an Army, create a 0/0 black Orc Army creature token first.)

The Reaver Cleaver

Equipped creature gets +1/+1 and has trample and "Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player or planeswalker, create that many Treasure tokens."
Equip {3}

Luxury Suite

Luxury Suite enters tapped unless you have two or more opponents.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.

Thraximundar

Haste
Whenever Thraximundar attacks, defending player sacrifices a creature of their choice.
Whenever a player sacrifices a creature, you may put a +1/+1 counter on Thraximundar.

Crumbling Necropolis

Crumbling Necropolis enters tapped.
{T}: Add {U}, {B}, or {R}.

Swamp

Haunted Ridge

Haunted Ridge enters tapped unless you control two or more other lands.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.

Jeska's Will

Choose one. If you control a commander as you cast this spell, you may choose both instead.
• Add {R} for each card in target opponent's hand.
• Exile the top three cards of your library. You may play them this turn.

Dockside Extortionist

When Dockside Extortionist enters, create X Treasure tokens, where X is the number of artifacts and enchantments your opponents control. (Treasure tokens are artifacts with "{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.")

Rakdos Signet

The Mouth of Sauron

When The Mouth of Sauron enters, target player mills three cards. Then amass Orcs X, where X is the number of instant and sorcery cards in that player's graveyard. (Put X +1/+1 counters on an Army you control. It's also an Orc. If you don't control an Army, create a 0/0 black Orc Army creature token first.)

Dack's Duplicate

You may have Dack's Duplicate enter as a copy of any creature on the battlefield, except it has haste and dethrone. (Whenever it attacks the player with the most life or tied for most life, put a +1/+1 counter on it.)

Nightscape Familiar

Blue spells and red spells you cast cost {1} less to cast.
{1}{B}: Regenerate Nightscape Familiar.

Book of Mazarbul

(As this Saga enters and after your draw step, add a lore counter. Sacrifice after III.)
I — Amass Orcs 1. (Put a +1/+1 counter on an Army you control. It's also an Orc. If you don't control an Army, create a 0/0 black Orc Army creature token first.)
II — Amass Orcs 2.
III — Creatures you control get +1/+0 and gain menace until end of turn.

Savage Beating

Cast this spell only during your turn and only during combat.
Choose one —
• Creatures you control gain double strike until end of turn.
• Untap all creatures you control. After this phase, there is an additional combat phase.
Entwine {1}{R} (Choose both if you pay the entwine cost.)

Lazotep Chancellor

Whenever you discard a card, you may pay {1}. If you do, amass Zombies 2. (Put two +1/+1 counters on an Army you control. It's also a Zombie. If you don't control an Army, create a 0/0 black Zombie Army creature token first.)

Gothmog, Morgul Lieutenant

When Gothmog, Morgul Lieutenant enters, amass Orcs 1. (Put a +1/+1 counter on an Army you control. It's also an Orc. If you don't control an Army, create a 0/0 black Orc Army creature token first.)
Creature tokens you control have deathtouch.

Chromatic Lantern

Lands you control have "{T}: Add one mana of any color."
{T}: Add one mana of any color.

Orcish Siegemaster

Trample
Other Orcs and Goblins you control have trample.
Whenever Orcish Siegemaster attacks, it gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the greatest power among creatures you control.

Ringsight

The Ring tempts you. Search your library for a card that shares a color with a legendary creature you control, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Fellwar Stone

{T}: Add one mana of any color that a land an opponent controls could produce.

Saruman, the White Hand

Whenever you cast a noncreature spell, amass Orcs X, where X is that spell's mana value. (Put X +1/+1 counters on an Army you control. It's also an Orc. If you don't control an Army, create a 0/0 black Orc Army creature token first.)
Goblins and Orcs you control have ward {2}.

Shipwreck Marsh

Shipwreck Marsh enters tapped unless you control two or more other lands.
{T}: Add {U} or {B}.

Command Beacon

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}, Sacrifice Command Beacon: Put your commander into your hand from the command zone.

The Black Gate

As The Black Gate enters, you may pay 3 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.
{T}: Add {B}.
{1}{B}, {T}: Choose a player with the most life or tied for most life. Target creature can't be blocked by creatures that player controls this turn.

Grond, the Gatebreaker

Trample
As long as it's your turn and you control an Army, Grond, the Gatebreaker is an artifact creature.
Crew 3 (Tap any number of creatures you control with total power 3 or more: This Vehicle becomes an artifact creature until end of turn.)

Volcanic Island

Underground Sea

Counterspell

Terminate

Destroy target creature. It can't be regenerated.

One Ring to Rule Them All

(As this Saga enters and after your draw step, add a lore counter. Sacrifice after III.)
I — The Ring tempts you, then each player mills cards equal to your Ring-bearer's power.
II — Destroy all nonlegendary creatures.
III — Each opponent loses 1 life for each creature card in that player's graveyard.

Lazotep Plating

Amass Zombies 1. (Put a +1/+1 counter on an Army you control. It's also a Zombie. If you don't control an Army, create a 0/0 black Zombie Army creature token first.)
You and permanents you control gain hexproof until end of turn. (You and they can't be the targets of spells or abilities your opponents control.)

Protean Raider

Raid — If you attacked this turn, you may have Protean Raider enter as a copy of any creature on the battlefield.

Corsairs of Umbar

{2}{U}: Target Goblin, Orc, or Pirate can't be blocked this turn.
Whenever Corsairs of Umbar deals combat damage to a player, amass Orcs 3. (Put three +1/+1 counters on an Army you control. It's also an Orc. If you don't control an Army, create a 0/0 black Orc Army creature token first.)

Dimir Signet

Mask of Riddles

Equipped creature has fear. (It can't be blocked except by artifact creatures and/or black creatures.)
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, you may draw a card.
Equip {2}

Rhystic Study

Whenever an opponent casts a spell, you may draw a card unless that player pays {1}.

Jump

Target creature gains flying until end of turn.

Brainstorm

Draw three cards, then put two cards from your hand on top of your library in any order.

Angrath, Captain of Chaos

Creatures you control have menace.
−2: Amass Zombies 2. (Put two +1/+1 counters on an Army you control. It's also a Zombie. If you don't control an Army, create a 0/0 black Zombie Army creature token first.)

Training Center

Training Center enters tapped unless you have two or more opponents.
{T}: Add {U} or {R}.

Dreadhorde Invasion

At the beginning of your upkeep, you lose 1 life and amass Zombies 1. (Put a +1/+1 counter on an Army you control. It's also a Zombie. If you don't control an Army, create a 0/0 black Zombie Army creature token first.)
Whenever a Zombie token you control with power 6 or greater attacks, it gains lifelink until end of turn.

Assault on Osgiliath

Amass Orcs X, then Goblins and Orcs you control gain double strike and haste until end of turn. (To amass Orcs X, put X +1/+1 counters on an Army you control. It's also an Orc. If you don't control an Army, create a 0/0 black Orc Army creature token first.)

In the Darkness Bind Them

(As this Saga enters and after your draw step, add a lore counter. Sacrifice after IV.)
I, II, III — Create a 3/3 black Wraith creature token with menace. The Ring tempts you.
IV — For each opponent, gain control of up to one target creature that player controls until end of turn. Untap those creatures. They gain haste until end of turn. The Ring tempts you.

Orcish Bowmasters

Flash
When Orcish Bowmasters enters and whenever an opponent draws a card except the first one they draw in each of their draw steps, Orcish Bowmasters deals 1 damage to any target. Then amass Orcs 1.

Living Death

Each player exiles all creature cards from their graveyard, then sacrifices all creatures they control, then puts all cards they exiled this way onto the battlefield.

Bone Miser

Whenever you discard a creature card, create a 2/2 black Zombie creature token.
Whenever you discard a land card, add {B}{B}.
Whenever you discard a noncreature, nonland card, draw a card.

Xander's Lounge

({T}: Add {U}, {B}, or {R}.)
Xander's Lounge enters tapped.
Cycling {3} ({3}, Discard this card: Draw a card.)

Sol Ring

Thought Vessel

You have no maximum hand size.
{T}: Add {C}.

Barad-dûr

Barad-dûr enters tapped unless you control a legendary creature.
{T}: Add {B}.
{X}{X}{B}, {T}: Amass Orcs X. Activate only if a creature died this turn.

Morphic Pool

Morphic Pool enters tapped unless you have two or more opponents.
{T}: Add {U} or {B}.

Moria Scavenger

Deathtouch, haste
{T}, Discard a card: Draw a card. If the discarded card was a creature card, amass Orcs 1. (Put a +1/+1 counter on an Army you control. It's also an Orc. If you don't control an Army, create a 0/0 black Orc Army creature token first.)

Cyclonic Rift

Return target nonland permanent you don't control to its owner's hand.
Overload {6}{U} (You may cast this spell for its overload cost. If you do, change "target" in its text to "each.")

Trailblazer's Boots

Equipped creature has nonbasic landwalk. (It can't be blocked as long as defending player controls a nonbasic land.)
Equip {2}

Reliquary Tower

Relic of Sauron

{T}: Add two mana in any combination of {U}, {B}, and/or {R}.
{3}, {T}: Draw two cards, then discard a card.

Malakir Mire

Malakir Mire enters tapped.
{T}: Add {B}.

Malakir Rebirth

Choose target creature. You lose 2 life. Until end of turn, that creature gains "When this creature dies, return it to the battlefield tapped under its owner's control."

Malakir Rebirth // Malakir Mire

Sauron, the Dark Lord

Ward—Sacrifice a legendary artifact or legendary creature.
Whenever an opponent casts a spell, amass Orcs 1.
Whenever an Army you control deals combat damage to a player, the Ring tempts you.
Whenever the Ring tempts you, you may discard your hand. If you do, draw four cards.

Whispersilk Cloak

Equipped creature can't be blocked and has shroud. (It can't be the target of spells or abilities.)
Equip {2}

Prince of Thralls

Whenever a permanent an opponent controls is put into a graveyard, put that card onto the battlefield under your control unless that opponent pays 3 life.

Mountain

Dunland Crebain

Flying
When Dunland Crebain enters, amass Orcs 2. (Put two +1/+1 counters on an Army you control. It's also an Orc. If you don't control an Army, create a 0/0 black Orc Army creature token first.)

Archfiend of Ifnir

Flying
Whenever you cycle or discard another card, put a -1/-1 counter on each creature your opponents control.
Cycling {2} ({2}, Discard this card: Draw a card.)

Claim the Precious

Destroy target creature. The Ring tempts you.

Izzet Signet

Grishnákh, Brash Instigator

When Grishnákh, Brash Instigator enters, amass Orcs 2. When you do, until end of turn, gain control of target nonlegendary creature an opponent controls with power less than or equal to the amassed Army's power. Untap that creature. It gains haste until end of turn.

Sam's Desperate Rescue

Return target creature card from your graveyard to your hand. The Ring tempts you.

Mordor Muster

You draw a card and you lose 1 life.
Amass Orcs 1. (Put a +1/+1 counter on an Army you control. It's also an Orc. If you don't control an Army, create a 0/0 black Orc Army creature token first.)

March from the Black Gate

When March from the Black Gate enters and whenever an Army you control attacks, amass Orcs 1. (Put a +1/+1 counter on an Army you control. It's also an Orc. If you don't control an Army, create a 0/0 black Orc Army creature token first.)

Insurrection

Untap all creatures and gain control of them until end of turn. They gain haste until end of turn.

Blasphemous Act

This spell costs {1} less to cast for each creature on the battlefield.
Blasphemous Act deals 13 damage to each creature.