Guff Rewrites History

For each player, choose target nonenchantment, nonland permanent that player controls. Those permanents' owners shuffle them into their libraries. Each player who controlled one of those permanents exiles cards from the top of their library until they exile a nonland card, then puts the rest on the bottom of their library in a random order. Each player may cast the nonland card they exiled without paying its mana cost.

Saruman the White

Ward {2}
Whenever you cast your second spell each turn, amass Orcs 2. (Put two +1/+1 counters on an Army you control. It's also an Orc. If you don't control an Army, create a 0/0 black Orc Army creature token first.)

Foray of Orcs

Amass Orcs 2. When you do, Foray of Orcs deals X damage to target creature an opponent controls, where X is the amassed Army's power. (To amass Orcs 2, put two +1/+1 counters on an Army you control. It's also an Orc. If you don't control an Army, create a 0/0 black Orc Army creature token first.)

Toxic Deluge

As an additional cost to cast this spell, pay X life.
All creatures get -X/-X until end of turn.

Orcish Bowmasters

Flash
When Orcish Bowmasters enters and whenever an opponent draws a card except the first one they draw in each of their draw steps, Orcish Bowmasters deals 1 damage to any target. Then amass Orcs 1.

Sunken Hollow

({T}: Add {U} or {B}.)
Sunken Hollow enters tapped unless you control two or more basic lands.

Blasphemous Act

This spell costs {1} less to cast for each creature on the battlefield.
Blasphemous Act deals 13 damage to each creature.

Orcish Siegemaster

Trample
Other Orcs and Goblins you control have trample.
Whenever Orcish Siegemaster attacks, it gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the greatest power among creatures you control.

Dragonskull Summit

Dragonskull Summit enters tapped unless you control a Swamp or a Mountain.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.

Blood Crypt

({T}: Add {B} or {R}.)
As Blood Crypt enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

One Ring to Rule Them All

(As this Saga enters and after your draw step, add a lore counter. Sacrifice after III.)
I — The Ring tempts you, then each player mills cards equal to your Ring-bearer's power.
II — Destroy all nonlegendary creatures.
III — Each opponent loses 1 life for each creature card in that player's graveyard.

Mauhúr, Uruk-hai Captain

Menace
If one or more +1/+1 counters would be put on an Army, Goblin, or Orc you control, that many plus one +1/+1 counters are put on it instead.

Faithless Looting

Draw two cards, then discard two cards.
Flashback {2}{R} (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its flashback cost. Then exile it.)

Crumbling Necropolis

Crumbling Necropolis enters tapped.
{T}: Add {U}, {B}, or {R}.

Dimir Signet

Anger

Haste
As long as Anger is in your graveyard and you control a Mountain, creatures you control have haste.

Cavern-Hoard Dragon

This spell costs {X} less to cast, where X is the greatest number of artifacts an opponent controls.
Flying, trample, haste
Whenever Cavern-Hoard Dragon deals combat damage to a player, you create a Treasure token for each artifact that player controls.

Cyclonic Rift

Return target nonland permanent you don't control to its owner's hand.
Overload {6}{U} (You may cast this spell for its overload cost. If you do, change "target" in its text to "each.")

Rakdos Signet

Underground River

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {U} or {B}. Underground River deals 1 damage to you.

Sauron, Lord of the Rings

When you cast this spell, amass Orcs 5, mill five cards, then return a creature card from your graveyard to the battlefield.
Trample
Whenever a commander an opponent controls dies, the Ring tempts you.

The One Ring

Indestructible
When The One Ring enters, if you cast it, you gain protection from everything until your next turn.
At the beginning of your upkeep, you lose 1 life for each burden counter on The One Ring.
{T}: Put a burden counter on The One Ring, then draw a card for each burden counter on The One Ring.

Relic of Sauron

{T}: Add two mana in any combination of {U}, {B}, and/or {R}.
{3}, {T}: Draw two cards, then discard a card.

The Mouth of Sauron

When The Mouth of Sauron enters, target player mills three cards. Then amass Orcs X, where X is the number of instant and sorcery cards in that player's graveyard. (Put X +1/+1 counters on an Army you control. It's also an Orc. If you don't control an Army, create a 0/0 black Orc Army creature token first.)

Lazotep Chancellor

Whenever you discard a card, you may pay {1}. If you do, amass Zombies 2. (Put two +1/+1 counters on an Army you control. It's also a Zombie. If you don't control an Army, create a 0/0 black Zombie Army creature token first.)

Notion Thief

Flash
If an opponent would draw a card except the first one they draw in each of their draw steps, instead that player skips that draw and you draw a card.

Arcane Denial

Counter target spell. Its controller may draw up to two cards at the beginning of the next turn's upkeep.
You draw a card at the beginning of the next turn's upkeep.

Lord of the Nazgûl

Flying
Wraiths you control have protection from Ring-bearers.
Whenever you cast an instant or sorcery spell, create a 3/3 black Wraith creature token with menace. Then if you control nine or more Wraiths, Wraiths you control have base power and toughness 9/9 until end of turn.

Command Tower

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Commander's Sphere

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.
Sacrifice Commander's Sphere: Draw a card.

Sauron, the Dark Lord

Ward—Sacrifice a legendary artifact or legendary creature.
Whenever an opponent casts a spell, amass Orcs 1.
Whenever an Army you control deals combat damage to a player, the Ring tempts you.
Whenever the Ring tempts you, you may discard your hand. If you do, draw four cards.

Drowned Catacomb

Drowned Catacomb enters tapped unless you control an Island or a Swamp.
{T}: Add {U} or {B}.

Rogue's Passage

{T}: Add {C}.
{4}, {T}: Target creature can't be blocked this turn.

Chaos Warp

The owner of target permanent shuffles it into their library, then reveals the top card of their library. If it's a permanent card, they put it onto the battlefield.

Saruman's Trickery

Counter target spell.
Amass Orcs 1. (Put a +1/+1 counter on an Army you control. It's also an Orc. If you don't control an Army, create a 0/0 black Orc Army creature token first.)

Grishnákh, Brash Instigator

When Grishnákh, Brash Instigator enters, amass Orcs 2. When you do, until end of turn, gain control of target nonlegendary creature an opponent controls with power less than or equal to the amassed Army's power. Untap that creature. It gains haste until end of turn.

Sulfurous Springs

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}. Sulfurous Springs deals 1 damage to you.

Counterspell

Talisman of Indulgence

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}. Talisman of Indulgence deals 1 damage to you.

Island

Call of the Ring

At the beginning of your upkeep, the Ring tempts you.
Whenever you choose a creature as your Ring-bearer, you may pay 2 life. If you do, draw a card.

Nightscape Familiar

Blue spells and red spells you cast cost {1} less to cast.
{1}{B}: Regenerate Nightscape Familiar.

Steam Vents

({T}: Add {U} or {R}.)
As Steam Vents enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Smoldering Marsh

({T}: Add {B} or {R}.)
Smoldering Marsh enters tapped unless you control two or more basic lands.

Sauron, the Necromancer

Menace
Whenever Sauron, the Necromancer attacks, exile target creature card from your graveyard. Create a tapped and attacking token that's a copy of that card, except it's a 3/3 black Wraith with menace. At the beginning of the next end step, exile that token unless Sauron is your Ring-bearer.

Barad-dûr

Barad-dûr enters tapped unless you control a legendary creature.
{T}: Add {B}.
{X}{X}{B}, {T}: Amass Orcs X. Activate only if a creature died this turn.

Archfiend of Ifnir

Flying
Whenever you cycle or discard another card, put a -1/-1 counter on each creature your opponents control.
Cycling {2} ({2}, Discard this card: Draw a card.)

Mountain

Witch-king of Angmar

Flying
Whenever one or more creatures deal combat damage to you, each opponent sacrifices a creature of their choice that dealt combat damage to you this turn. The Ring tempts you.
Discard a card: Witch-king of Angmar gains indestructible until end of turn. Tap it.

March from the Black Gate

When March from the Black Gate enters and whenever an Army you control attacks, amass Orcs 1. (Put a +1/+1 counter on an Army you control. It's also an Orc. If you don't control an Army, create a 0/0 black Orc Army creature token first.)

Reanimate

Put target creature card from a graveyard onto the battlefield under your control. You lose life equal to its mana value.

Widespread Brutality

Amass Zombies 2, then the Army you amassed deals damage equal to its power to each non-Army creature. (To amass Zombies 2, put two +1/+1 counters on an Army you control. It's also a Zombie. If you don't control an Army, create a 0/0 black Zombie Army creature token first.)

Summons of Saruman

Amass Orcs X. Mill X cards. You may cast an instant or sorcery spell with mana value X or less from among them without paying its mana cost. (To amass Orcs X, put X +1/+1 counters on an Army you control. It's also an Orc. If you don't control an Army, create a 0/0 black Orc Army creature token first.)
Flashback—{3}{U}{R}, Exile X cards from your graveyard.

The Black Gate

As The Black Gate enters, you may pay 3 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.
{T}: Add {B}.
{1}{B}, {T}: Choose a player with the most life or tied for most life. Target creature can't be blocked by creatures that player controls this turn.

Mount Doom

{T}, Pay 1 life: Add {B} or {R}.
{1}{B}{R}, {T}: Mount Doom deals 1 damage to each opponent.
{5}{B}{R}, {T}, Sacrifice Mount Doom and a legendary artifact: Choose up to two creatures, then destroy the rest. Activate only as a sorcery.

In the Darkness Bind Them

(As this Saga enters and after your draw step, add a lore counter. Sacrifice after IV.)
I, II, III — Create a 3/3 black Wraith creature token with menace. The Ring tempts you.
IV — For each opponent, gain control of up to one target creature that player controls until end of turn. Untap those creatures. They gain haste until end of turn. The Ring tempts you.

Bilbo, Retired Burglar

When Bilbo, Retired Burglar enters or leaves the battlefield, the Ring tempts you.
Whenever Bilbo deals combat damage to a player, create a Treasure token.

Orcish Medicine

Target creature gains your choice of lifelink or indestructible until end of turn.
Amass Orcs 1. (Put a +1/+1 counter on an Army you control. It's also an Orc. If you don't control an Army, create a 0/0 black Orc Army creature token first.)

Corsairs of Umbar

{2}{U}: Target Goblin, Orc, or Pirate can't be blocked this turn.
Whenever Corsairs of Umbar deals combat damage to a player, amass Orcs 3. (Put three +1/+1 counters on an Army you control. It's also an Orc. If you don't control an Army, create a 0/0 black Orc Army creature token first.)

Talisman of Creativity

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {U} or {R}. Talisman of Creativity deals 1 damage to you.

Dreadhorde Invasion

At the beginning of your upkeep, you lose 1 life and amass Zombies 1. (Put a +1/+1 counter on an Army you control. It's also a Zombie. If you don't control an Army, create a 0/0 black Zombie Army creature token first.)
Whenever a Zombie token you control with power 6 or greater attacks, it gains lifelink until end of turn.

Sulfur Falls

Sulfur Falls enters tapped unless you control an Island or a Mountain.
{T}: Add {U} or {R}.

Exotic Orchard

{T}: Add one mana of any color that a land an opponent controls could produce.

Swamp

Living Death

Each player exiles all creature cards from their graveyard, then sacrifices all creatures they control, then puts all cards they exiled this way onto the battlefield.

Morphic Pool

Morphic Pool enters tapped unless you have two or more opponents.
{T}: Add {U} or {B}.

Nazgûl

Deathtouch
When Nazgûl enters, the Ring tempts you.
Whenever the Ring tempts you, put a +1/+1 counter on each Wraith you control.
A deck can have up to nine cards named Nazgûl.

Gollum, Patient Plotter

When Gollum, Patient Plotter leaves the battlefield, the Ring tempts you.
{B}, Sacrifice a creature: Return Gollum from your graveyard to your hand. Activate only as a sorcery.

Arcane Signet

Treason of Isengard

Put up to one target instant or sorcery card from your graveyard on top of your library.
Amass Orcs 2. (To amass Orcs 2, put two +1/+1 counters on an Army you control. It's also an Orc. If you don't control an Army, create a 0/0 black Orc Army creature token first.)

Ringsight

The Ring tempts you. Search your library for a card that shares a color with a legendary creature you control, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Dark Ritual

Saruman, the White Hand

Whenever you cast a noncreature spell, amass Orcs X, where X is that spell's mana value. (Put X +1/+1 counters on an Army you control. It's also an Orc. If you don't control an Army, create a 0/0 black Orc Army creature token first.)
Goblins and Orcs you control have ward {2}.

Talisman of Dominance

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {U} or {B}. Talisman of Dominance deals 1 damage to you.

Watery Grave

({T}: Add {U} or {B}.)
As Watery Grave enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Sol Ring

Moria Scavenger

Deathtouch, haste
{T}, Discard a card: Draw a card. If the discarded card was a creature card, amass Orcs 1. (Put a +1/+1 counter on an Army you control. It's also an Orc. If you don't control an Army, create a 0/0 black Orc Army creature token first.)

Luxury Suite

Luxury Suite enters tapped unless you have two or more opponents.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.

The Balrog of Moria

Trample, haste
When The Balrog of Moria dies, you may exile it. When you do, for each opponent, exile up to one target creature that player controls.
Cycling {3}{R} ({3}{R}, Discard this card: Draw a card.)
When you cycle The Balrog of Moria, create two Treasure tokens.

Book of Mazarbul

(As this Saga enters and after your draw step, add a lore counter. Sacrifice after III.)
I — Amass Orcs 1. (Put a +1/+1 counter on an Army you control. It's also an Orc. If you don't control an Army, create a 0/0 black Orc Army creature token first.)
II — Amass Orcs 2.
III — Creatures you control get +1/+0 and gain menace until end of turn.

Feed the Swarm

Destroy target creature or enchantment an opponent controls. You lose life equal to that permanent's mana value.

Gothmog, Morgul Lieutenant

When Gothmog, Morgul Lieutenant enters, amass Orcs 1. (Put a +1/+1 counter on an Army you control. It's also an Orc. If you don't control an Army, create a 0/0 black Orc Army creature token first.)
Creature tokens you control have deathtouch.

Claim the Precious

Destroy target creature. The Ring tempts you.

Rhystic Study

Whenever an opponent casts a spell, you may draw a card unless that player pays {1}.

Lazotep Plating

Amass Zombies 1. (Put a +1/+1 counter on an Army you control. It's also a Zombie. If you don't control an Army, create a 0/0 black Zombie Army creature token first.)
You and permanents you control gain hexproof until end of turn. (You and they can't be the targets of spells or abilities your opponents control.)

Sauron's Ransom

Choose an opponent. They look at the top four cards of your library and separate them into a face-down pile and a face-up pile. Put one pile into your hand and the other into your graveyard. The Ring tempts you.

Fellwar Stone

Xander's Lounge

({T}: Add {U}, {B}, or {R}.)
Xander's Lounge enters tapped.
Cycling {3} ({3}, Discard this card: Draw a card.)