Big Boa Constrictor

When this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. Target opponent loses life equal to the result.

capital offense

target creature gets -x/-x until end of turn, where x is the number of times a capital letter appears in its rules text. (ignore reminder text and flavor text.)

Extremely Slow Zombie

Last strike (This creature deals combat damage after creatures without last strike.)

Ninja

You may activate Ninja's augment ability any time you could cast an instant.
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player,
Augment {2}{B} ({2}{B}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as—oh, never mind.)

Old-Fashioned Vampire

Flying
Old-Fashioned Vampire gets +2/+2 and has deathtouch as long as it's dark outdoors.

Over My Dead Bodies

Creature cards in graveyards can attack and block as though they were on the battlefield, can block or be blocked only by creature cards in graveyards, are Zombies in addition to their other types, and have undeathtouch. (If they would deal damage to a creature card, exile that creature card instead.)
Creature cards in your graveyard have haste.

"Rumors of My Death . . ."

{3}{B}, Exile a permanent you control with a League of Dastardly Doom watermark: Return a permanent card with a League of Dastardly Doom watermark from your graveyard to the battlefield.

Squirrel-Powered Scheme

Increase the result of each die you roll by 2.

Steady-Handed Mook

Deathtouch
When Steady-Handed Mook enters, it assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Zombified

{4}{B}: Combine Zombified from your graveyard with target host.
{2}{B}, Exile a creature card from your graveyard:
Augment {4}{B} ({4}{B}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

The Big Idea

{2}{B/R}{B/R}, {T}: Roll a six-sided die. Create a number of 1/1 red Brainiac creature tokens equal to the result.
Tap three untapped Brainiacs you control: The next time you would roll a six-sided die, instead roll two six-sided dice and use the total of those results.

Bumbling Pangolin

When this creature enters, you may destroy target artifact.

It That Gets Left Hanging

When It That Gets Left Hanging enters, ask a person outside the game to high-five you. If they won't, It That Gets Left Hanging gains haste until end of turn.

Grusilda, Monster Masher

Combined, enchanted, and equipped creatures you control have menace.
{3}{B}{R}, {T}: Put two target creature cards from graveyards onto the battlefield combined into one creature under your control. (Its power is equal to their total power, its toughness is equal to their total toughness, and it has their names, mana costs, types, text boxes, etc.)

Mary O'Kill

{1}{B/R}: Switch a Killbot or Mary O'Kill in your hand with one on the battlefield. (If a creature is tapped, the switched creature is tapped. The same is true for untapped, attacking, blocking, enchanted, equipped, and targeted. Any counters on a creature are on the switched creature instead.)

Contraption Cannon

{2}, Sacrifice Contraption Cannon: It deals damage to any target equal to the number of Contraptions you control.

Delighted Killbot

Everythingamajig

{1}, {T}: Scry 2.
{1}, {T}, Pay 1 life: Create a 0/1 white Goat creature token.
{7}, {T}, Sacrifice Everythingamajig: Choose target player. At the beginning of the next end step, exchange life totals with that player, exchange control of all permanents you and that player control, and exchange cards in your hands, cards in your libraries, and cards in your graveyards.

Handy Dandy Clone Machine

{2}, {T}: Create a 2/2 colorless Homunculus creature token. It must be represented by a unique hand and two fingers at all times, or it ceases to exist.

Labro Bot

When this creature enters, return target host card or card with augment from your graveyard to your hand.

Mad Science Fair Project

{T}: Roll a six-sided die. On a 3 or lower, target player adds {C}. Otherwise, that player adds one mana of any color they choose.

Robo-

At the beginning of each end step, if an artifact entered the battlefield under your control this turn,
Augment {2} ({2}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Stamp of Approval

As Stamp of Approval enters, choose a watermark.
Creatures you control with the chosen watermark get +1/+1.

Steam-Powered

{5}:
Augment {4} ({4}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Secret Base

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to cast a spell that shares a watermark with Secret Base.

Lackey Recycler

Whenever you crank Lackey Recycler, put target creature card from your graveyard on top of your library.

Mandatory Friendship Shackles

Whenever you crank Mandatory Friendship Shackles, target creature gets -1/-1 until end of turn.

Angrath, Captain of Chaos

Creatures you control have menace.
−2: Amass Zombies 2. (Put two +1/+1 counters on an Army you control. It's also a Zombie. If you don't control an Army, create a 0/0 black Zombie Army creature token first.)

Rakdos Guildgate

Rakdos Guildgate enters tapped.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.

Cinder Barrens

Cinder Barrens enters tapped.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.

Witch's Cottage

({T}: Add {B}.)
Witch's Cottage enters tapped unless you control three or more other Swamps.
When Witch's Cottage enters untapped, you may put target creature card from your graveyard on top of your library.

Bake into a Pie

Destroy target creature. Create a Food token. (It's an artifact with "{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.")

Enchanted Carriage

When Enchanted Carriage enters, create two 1/1 white Mouse creature tokens.
Crew 2 (Tap any number of creatures you control with total power 2 or more: This Vehicle becomes an artifact creature until end of turn.)

Seven Dwarves

Seven Dwarves gets +1/+1 for each other creature named Seven Dwarves you control.
A deck can have up to seven cards named Seven Dwarves.

Forever Young

Put any number of target creature cards from your graveyard on top of your library.
Draw a card.

Bloodhaze Wolverine

Whenever you draw your second card each turn, Bloodhaze Wolverine gets +1/+1 and gains first strike until end of turn.

Locthwain Paladin

Menace (This creature can't be blocked except by two or more creatures.)
Adamant — If at least three black mana was spent to cast this spell, Locthwain Paladin enters with a +1/+1 counter on it.

Dwarven Mine

({T}: Add {R}.)
Dwarven Mine enters tapped unless you control three or more other Mountains.
When Dwarven Mine enters untapped, create a 1/1 red Dwarf creature token.

Boulder Rush

Target creature gets +2/+0 until end of turn. (Then exile this card. You may cast the creature later from exile.)

Rimrock Knight

Rimrock Knight // Boulder Rush

Mountain

Swamp

Super-Duper Death Ray

Trample (This spell can deal excess damage to its target's controller.)
Super-Duper Death Ray deals 4 damage to target creature.

Painiac

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. Painiac gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the result.

Common Iguana

When this creature enters, you may discard a card. If you do, draw a card.

Stinging Scorpion

When this creature enters, target creature an opponent controls gets -1/-1 until end of turn.

Snickering Squirrel

You may tap Snickering Squirrel to increase the result of a die any player rolled by 1.

Skull Saucer

Flying
When Skull Saucer enters, destroy target creature and put your head on the table. Sacrifice Skull Saucer when your head stops touching the table.

Hoisted Hireling

Hoisted Hireling has flying as long as it's being held above the battlefield.

Hazmat Suit (Used)

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +2/+1 and has menace.
Whenever a player's skin or fingernail touches enchanted creature, that player loses 2 life.