Super-Duper Lost

Put target creature into its owner's library just beneath the top X cards of that library, where X is the number of doors you can see from your seat.

How Is This a Par Three?!

Whenever you cast a spell, you may have target player mill X cards, where X is the number of words in that spell's name.

Astroquarium

When Astroquarium enters, you may put an art sticker on it.
{1}, {T}: Until end of turn, target creature becomes a blue Shark with base power and toughness 4/4. If the cracks in Astroquarium's art are completely covered, that creature becomes a blue Octopus with base power and toughness 8/8 instead. Activate only as a sorcery.

Myra the Magnificent

Whenever you cast an instant or sorcery spell from your hand, open an Attraction.
{X}, {T}: Exile target instant or sorcery card with mana value X from your graveyard and choose an Attraction you control that doesn't have a midway counter on it. Put a midway counter on it. For as long as that Attraction is on the battlefield, whenever you visit it, copy the exiled card. You may cast the copy without paying its mana cost.

Busted!

Counter target spell unless its controller pays {X}, where X is the number of words in the name with the most words among permanents you control.

Glitterflitter

Flying
When Glitterflitter enters, you get {TK}, then you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own.

Rad Rascal

When Rad Rascal enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)

Bag Check

Counter target spell, then ask a person outside the game if that spell looks dangerous to them. If they say yes, draw a card, then discard a card.

Exchange of Words

When Exchange of Words enters, choose two target creatures. For as long as Exchange of Words remains on the battlefield, exchange the text boxes of those creatures.

Monitor Monitor

When Monitor Monitor enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)
Once each turn, you may pay {1} to reroll one or more dice you rolled.

Octo Opus

When Octo Opus enters, create a 4/4 blue Octopus Performer creature token named Contortionist with "At the beginning of your upkeep, you may fold this token in half." (It becomes 2/2, then 1/1, ½/½, and so on.)
Sacrifice Octo Opus: Draw a card and an additional card for each of Contortionist's folds.

Well Done

Well Done deals 5 damage to target creature. If that creature is rare or mythic rare, Well Done deals 3 damage to that creature's controller.

Boing!

Return target creature to its owner's hand, then roll a six-sided die. If the result is 3 or less, scry a number of cards equal to the result.

Motion Sickness

Enchant creature
When Motion Sickness enters, tap enchanted creature.
Enchanted creature doesn't untap during its controller's untap step.
Whenever you visit an Attraction, you may attach Motion Sickness to target tapped creature.

Rock Star

Reach
When Rock Star enters, you may discard a card. If you do, reveal the top five cards of your library. Ask a person outside the game to choose which of them is most like a rock band. Put that card into your hand and the rest on the bottom of your library in a random order.

Blufferfish

{3}{U}: An opponent tells you a statement about themselves and secretly notes whether it's true or false. You guess which it is. If you guessed correctly, Blufferfish gets +2/+0 and can't be blocked this turn.

Seasoned Buttoneer

When Seasoned Buttoneer enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)

Goblin Blastronauts

When Goblin Blastronauts enters, open an Attraction.
Whenever you roll a 6, you may copy the spell, ability, or Attraction visit that caused you to roll that die. You may choose new targets for the copy.

_____ Balls of Fire

When this enchantment enters, you may put a name sticker on it.
Whenever you put a sticker on this enchantment, it deals damage equal to the number of o's in name stickers on this enchantment to any target.

Slight Malfunction

Choose one —
• Destroy target artifact.
• Roll a six-sided die. When you do, Slight Malfunction deals 1 damage to each of up to X target creatures, where X is the result.

Phone a Friend

Call someone and ask them to choose one. If they don't answer, an opponent chooses one. (Don't explain anything else. You choose targets.)
• A — Gain control of target creature you don't control.
• B — Choose target creature you control. Create two tokens that are each copies of it.
• C — Take an extra turn after this one.
• D — Draw seven cards.

Vedalken Squirrel-Whacker

As Vedalken Squirrel-Whacker enters, roll a six-sided die twice. Its base power becomes the first result and its base toughness becomes the second result.
If you would roll one or more six-sided dice, instead roll them and you may exchange one result with Vedalken Squirrel-Whacker's base power or base toughness.

Trigger Happy

Choose a triggered ability of target permanent. It triggers. You control that ability.

Animate Object

You get seven {TK}. Choose an inanimate object you own from outside the game. Put a power and toughness sticker on it. You may also put a name sticker, an art sticker, and/or an ability sticker on it. Put it onto the battlefield as a creature token.

Ignacio of Myra's Marvels

As Ignacio of Myra's Marvels enters, choose armor, blood, book, bottle, fang, fire, scroll, spear, sword, or water.
Whenever you cast a spell with the chosen object in its art, create two Treasure tokens.
Partner (You can have two commanders if both have partner.)

Wizards of the _____

When this creature enters, you may put a name sticker on it, then look at the top X cards of your library, where X is the number of unique vowels on that sticker. Put one of those cards into your hand and the rest on the bottom of your library in any order. (The vowels are A, E, I, O, U, and Y.)

Pie-roclasm

Pie-roclasm deals π damage to each non-Clown creature. (How to calculate π isn't important. It's a smidgen more than 3.)

Omniclown Colossus

Affinity for Clowns (This spell costs {1} less to cast for each Clown you control.)
Trample

Omniclown Colossus // Pie-roclasm

Prize Wall

Defender
{U}, {T}: You get {TK}.
{4}{U}, {T}: You may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own. Activate only as a sorcery.

Mobile Clone

Using a mobile device, take a picture of target creature. That device enters as a token that's a photocopy of the pictured creature. (Photocopies include Auras, Equipment, counters, and stickers in the shot. Don't touch other people's phones without permission and be careful if you do.)

Unlawful Entry

Target creature gets +1/+0 and gains flying until end of turn.
Whenever you put an art sticker on a creature, you may return Unlawful Entry from your graveyard to your hand.

Command Performance

Choose two —
• Open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)
• Roll to visit your Attractions.
• You get {TK}{TK}.
• You may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own.

Goblin Airbrusher

Whenever you place a sticker, create a Treasure token. If it's an art sticker, instead create two Treasure tokens. (They're artifacts with "{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.")

_____ _____ _____ Trespasser

When this creature enters, you may put a name sticker on it.
{3}{U}: This creature gets +1/+0 until end of turn for each name sticker on it. It can't be blocked this turn.

Circuits Act

Roll three six-sided dice. For each different result, create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token.

Decisions, Decisions

Reveal the top three cards of your library, then choose a consonant. (Y counts.) Put each card that has the chosen letter in the first word of its name from among them into your hand and the rest on the bottom of your library in any order.

Don't Try This at Home

If a hot source you control would deal damage to a permanent or player, it deals that much damage plus 1 instead. (Something is hot if it has hot things in its art, like fire or explosions.)
{1}{R}, Sacrifice Don't Try This at Home: It deals damage equal to twice the number of hot cards in your graveyard to target creature or planeswalker.

Bioluminary

Whenever Bioluminary deals combat damage to a player, you get {TK}{TK}, then you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own.

Bamboozling Beeble

Protection from Robots
{1}, {T}: The next time target player would roll one or more dice this turn, instead they roll that many dice plus one and you choose one of those rolls to ignore.