Have

Gerrymandering

Exile all lands. Give each player a number of those cards chosen at random equal to the number of those cards the player controlled. Each player returns those cards to the battlefield under their control.

Old Fogey

Phasing, cumulative upkeep {1}, echo {G}{G}, fading 3, bands with other Dinosaurs, protection from Homarids, snow-covered plainswalk, flanking, rampage 2

Selesnya Sanctuary

Selesnya Sanctuary enters tapped.
When Selesnya Sanctuary enters, return a land you control to its owner's hand.
{T}: Add {G}{W}.

Charm School

As Charm School enters, choose a color and balance Charm School on your head.
Prevent all damage that would be dealt to you by sources of the chosen color.
When Charm School falls off your head, sacrifice Charm School.

I'm Rubber, You're Glue

When you speak in non-rhyming sentences, sacrifice I'm Rubber, You're Glue.
Say "I'm rubber, you're glue. Everything bounces off me and sticks to you": Change the target of target spell or ability that targets only you.

Steam-Powered

{5}:
Augment {4} ({4}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Mesa Chicken

Stand up, Flap your arms, Cluck like a chicken: Mesa Chicken gains flying until end of turn.

GO TO JAIL

When GO TO JAIL enters, exile target creature an opponent controls until GO TO JAIL leaves the battlefield.
At the beginning of the upkeep of the exiled card's owner, that player rolls two six-sided dice. If they roll doubles, sacrifice GO TO JAIL.

Canopy Vista

({T}: Add {G} or {W}.)
Canopy Vista enters tapped unless you control two or more basic lands.

Command Tower

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Forest

Secret Base

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to cast a spell that shares a watermark with Secret Base.

Plains

Underdome

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to pay Un-costs.

Staying Power

"Until end of turn" and "this turn" effects don't end.

Squirrel Dealer

When Squirrel Dealer enters, ask a person outside the game "Do you like Squirrels?" If they do, create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token.

Slaying Mantis

Just a second (As long as this spell is on the stack, players can't move permanents.)
Slaying Mantis enters by being thrown from a distance of at least three feet.
When Slaying Mantis enters, it fights each creature an opponent controls that it touched as it entered.

Selfie Preservation

Search your library for a basic land card and reveal it. If there's a tree in its art, put it onto the battlefield tapped. Otherwise, put it into your hand. Then shuffle.

Proper Laboratory Attire

Equipped creature gets +2/+1 and has protection from die rolls. (Nothing that lets a player roll a die can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to equipped creature.)
Equip {2}

Prismatic Wardrobe

Destroy target nonartifact, nonland permanent that doesn't share a color with clothing worn by its controller.

Land Aid '04

Search your library for a basic land card, put that card onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle. If you sang a song the whole time you were searching and shuffling, you may untap that land.

Keeper of the Sacred Word

As Keeper of the Sacred Word enters, choose a word.
Whenever an opponent says the chosen word, Keeper of the Sacred Word gets +3/+3 until end of turn.

Ineffable Blessing

As Ineffable Blessing enters, choose white-bordered or silver-bordered.
Whenever a creature you control with the chosen border enters, draw a card.

Incoming!

Each player searches their library for any number of artifact, creature, enchantment, and/or land cards, puts them onto the battlefield, then shuffles.

Flavor Judge

{T}: Choose target spell or ability that targets a permanent you control. Then ask a person outside the game if the story of what will happen makes sense. If they say no, sacrifice Flavor Judge and counter that spell or ability.

First Come, First Served

Each attacking or blocking creature with the lowest collector number among attacking or blocking creatures has first strike.

Fat Ass

Fat Ass gets +2/+2 and has trample as long as you're eating. (Gum isn't food. We checked.)

Everythingamajig

{1}, {T}: Scry 2.
{1}, {T}, Pay 1 life: Create a 0/1 white Goat creature token.
{7}, {T}, Sacrifice Everythingamajig: Choose target player. At the beginning of the next end step, exchange life totals with that player, exchange control of all permanents you and that player control, and exchange cards in your hands, cards in your libraries, and cards in your graveyards.

Erase (Not the Urza's Legacy One)

If you control two or more white permanents that share an artist, you may cast this spell without paying its mana cost.
Exile target enchantment.

Entirely Normal Armchair

During your turn, if Entirely Normal Armchair is in your hand, you may hide it on the battlefield.
{0}: Return Entirely Normal Armchair to its owner's hand. Only your opponents may activate this ability and only if they see Entirely Normal Armchair.
{2}, Sacrifice Entirely Normal Armchair: Destroy target attacking creature.

Earl of Squirrel

Squirrellink (Damage dealt by this creature also causes you to create that many 1/1 green Squirrel creature tokens.)
Creature tokens you control are Squirrels in addition to their other creature types.
Other Squirrels you control get +1/+1.

Druid of the Sacred Beaker

{T}: Add {G} for each Crossbreed Labs watermark among permanents you control.

Bronze Calendar

Spells you cast cost {1} less to cast.
You must speak in a voice other than your normal voice.
When you speak in your normal voice, sacrifice Bronze Calendar.

AWOL

Exile target attacking creature. Then remove it from the game. Then put it into the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game-forever zone.

Ashnod's Coupon

{T}, Sacrifice Ashnod's Coupon: Target player gets you target drink. You pay any costs for the drink.

Really Epic Punch

Target creature you control gets +2/+2 if it's a host or has augment. Then it fights target creature you don't control.

Clever Combo

Search your library for a host card or a card with augment, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Serpentine

Landfall — Whenever a land you control enters,
Augment {2}{G} ({2}{G}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Robo-

At the beginning of each end step, if an artifact entered the battlefield under your control this turn,
Augment {2} ({2}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Rhino-

Whenever this creature blocks,
Augment {3}{W} ({3}{W}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Multi-Headed

At the beginning of each end step, if you rolled a die this turn,
Augment {4}{G} ({4}{G}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Monkey-

Whenever a nontoken creature you control dies,
Augment {2}{G} ({2}{G}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Humming-

Flying
Whenever you attack with two or more creatures,
Augment {3}{W} ({3}{W}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Half-Kitten, Half-

Whenever you're dealt damage,
Augment {2}{W} ({2}{W}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Wild Crocodile

When this creature enters, search your library for a basic land card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Voracious Vacuum

When this creature enters, put a +1/+1 counter on target creature.

Strutting Turkey

When this creature enters,
exile target creature card with mana value 2 or less from your graveyard. If it has augment, combine it with a host you control. Otherwise, put it onto the battlefield.

Shaggy Camel

When this creature enters, creatures you control get +1/+1 until end of turn.

Mother Kangaroo

When this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. Put a number of +1/+1 counters on this creature equal to the result.

Labro Bot

When this creature enters, return target host card or card with augment from your graveyard to your hand.

Gnome-Made Engine

When this creature enters, create a 1/1 colorless Gnome artifact creature token.

Eager Beaver

When this creature enters, you may untap target permanent.

Angelic Rocket

Flying
When this creature enters, you may destroy target nonland permanent.

Adorable Kitten

When this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. You gain life equal to the result.

Dr. Julius Jumblemorph

Dr. Julius Jumblemorph is every creature type (even if this card isn't on the battlefield).
Whenever a host you control enters, you may search your library and/or graveyard for a card with augment and combine it with that host. If you search your library this way, shuffle.

Half-Squirrel, Half-

Whenever a nontoken creature enters,
Augment {G} ({G}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Autograph Book

Autograph Book enters with a page counter on it for each person who has signed it.
{3}, {T}, Remove a page counter from Autograph Book: Draw a card.

Getting

An Incident Has Occurred

Choose one or both —
• Destroy target creature with flying.
• Destroy target Attraction. (It's put into its owner's junkyard.)
You may apologize. If you do, you gain 3 life.

Colossal Majesty

At the beginning of your upkeep, if you control a creature with power 4 or greater, draw a card.

Alpha Status

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +2/+2 for each other creature on the battlefield that shares a creature type with it.

Reclamation Sage

When Reclamation Sage enters, you may destroy target artifact or enchantment.

Llanowar Elves

Fauna Shaman

{G}, {T}, Discard a creature card: Search your library for a creature card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Generated Horizons

At the beginning of your upkeep, create a Forest land token.

Path of Ancestry

Path of Ancestry enters tapped.
{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity. When that mana is spent to cast a creature spell that shares a creature type with your commander, scry 1. (Look at the top card of your library. You may put that card on the bottom.)

Krosan Grip

Split second (As long as this spell is on the stack, players can't cast spells or activate abilities that aren't mana abilities.)
Destroy target artifact or enchantment.

Path to Exile

Exile target creature. Its controller may search their library for a basic land card, put that card onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Swords to Plowshares

Exile target creature. Its controller gains life equal to its power.

Harmonize

Champion of Lambholt

Creatures with power less than Champion of Lambholt's power can't block creatures you control.
Whenever another creature you control enters, put a +1/+1 counter on Champion of Lambholt.

Arcane Signet

Explore the Vastlands

Each player looks at the top five cards of their library and may reveal a land card and/or an instant or sorcery card from among them. Each player puts the cards they revealed this way into their hand and the rest on the bottom of their library in a random order. Each player gains 3 life.

Wandering Archaic

Whenever an opponent casts an instant or sorcery spell, they may pay {2}. If they don't, you may copy that spell. You may choose new targets for the copy.