T.A.P.P.E.R.

{T}, Tap an untapped creature you control that has a hat: Tap target creature.

Serum Tank

Whenever Serum Tank or another artifact enters, put a charge counter on Serum Tank.
{3}, {T}, Remove a charge counter from Serum Tank: Draw a card.

Ticketomaton

When Ticketomaton enters, you get {TK}, then you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own.

Eldrazi Guacamole Tightrope

{TK}{TK} — Haste
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — You may cast this card from your graveyard by paying 2 life in addition to paying its other costs.
{TK}{TK} — 1/4
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 5/3

Cut a Deal

Each opponent draws a card, then you draw a card for each opponent who drew a card this way.

Assembled Ensemble

Vigilance
Assembled Ensemble's power is equal to the number of Robots you control.
Whenever you cast a spell with an artifact creature in its art, create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token.

Trigger Happy

Choose a triggered ability of target permanent. It triggers. You control that ability.

Demonic Tourist Laser

{TK}{TK} — Outlast {1} ({1}, {T}: Put a +1/+1 counter on this creature. Outlast only as a sorcery.)
{TK}{TK}{TK} — When this permanent dies, you get seven {TK}.
{TK}{TK} — 1/4
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 9/6

Draconian Gate-Bot

When Draconian Gate-Bot enters, choose one —
• Open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)
• Destroy target Attraction. (It's put into its owner's junkyard.)

Prowl, Pursuit Vehicle

Living metal (During your turn, this Vehicle is also a creature.)
Whenever another creature or Vehicle you control enters, put a +1/+1 counter on Prowl. If this is the second time this ability has resolved this turn, convert Prowl.

Prowl, Stoic Strategist

More Than Meets the Eye {2}{W} (You may cast this card converted for {2}{W}.)
Whenever Prowl attacks, exile up to one other target tapped creature or Vehicle. For as long as that card remains exiled, its owner may play it.
Whenever a player plays a card exiled with Prowl, you draw a card and convert Prowl.

Prowl, Stoic Strategist // Prowl, Pursuit Vehicle

Unsanctioned Ancient Juggler

{TK}{TK} — Whenever this creature attacks, bolster 1. (Choose a creature with the least toughness among creatures you control and put a +1/+1 counter on it.)
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — Indestructible
{TK}{TK} — 3/2
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 5/4

Celebr-8000

At the beginning of combat on your turn, roll two six-sided dice. For each result of 1, Celebr-8000 gets +1/+1 until end of turn. For each other result, it gains the indicated ability until end of turn. If you rolled doubles, it also gains double strike until end of turn.
• 2 — menace
• 3 — vigilance
• 4 — lifelink
• 5 — flying
• 6 — indestructible

Yet Another Aether Vortex

All creatures have haste.
Players play with the top card of their libraries revealed.
Noninstant, nonsorcery cards on top of a library are on the battlefield under their owner's control in addition to being in that library.

Boros Signet

Impatient Iguana

If Impatient Iguana is in your opening hand and you're not the starting player, you may reveal it. If you do, you become the starting player.
Haste

Expedition Map

{2}, {T}, Sacrifice Expedition Map: Search your library for a land card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Secret Rendezvous

You and target opponent each draw three cards.

The Superlatorium

Visit — An opponent chooses "the funniest," "the smelliest," or "the sturdiest." You choose a creature, then ask a person outside the game to choose the creature that best fits the chosen criteria. If they chose the same creature you chose, claim the prize!
Prize — Create two 1/1 red Balloon creature tokens with flying, then sacrifice The Superlatorium and open an Attraction.

Ancestral Hot Dog Minotaur

{TK}{TK} — Afflict 2 (Whenever this creature becomes blocked, defending player loses 2 life.)
{TK}{TK}{TK} — Flying
{TK}{TK} — 1/4
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 8/6

Main Event Horizon

As an additional cost to cast this spell, choose A through M or N through Z.
Destroy each creature whose name begins with a letter in the chosen range.

Unassuming Gelatinous Serpent

{TK}{TK} — When this permanent dies, return target noncreature, nonland card from your graveyard to your hand.
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, that player mills twice that many cards.
{TK}{TK} — 2/3
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 7/2

One-Clown Band

{2}{R}: Target Robot gets +2/+0 until end of turn.

Pick-a-Beeble

Visit — Roll a six-sided die. Put a number of luck counters on Pick-a-Beeble equal to the result and create a Treasure token. Then if there are six or more luck counters on Pick-a-Beeble, claim the prize!
Prize — Create two Treasure tokens, then sacrifice Pick-a-Beeble and open an Attraction.

Command Tower

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Misunderstood Trapeze Elf

{TK}{TK} — Whenever you cast a spell, this creature gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the amount of generic mana in that spell's mana cost.
{TK}{TK}{TK} — Hexproof
{TK}{TK} — 4/2
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 6/6

Non-Human Cannonball

When Non-Human Cannonball dies, roll a six-sided die. If the result is 4 or less, Non-Human Cannonball deals that much damage to you.

Oddly Uneven

Choose one —
• Destroy each creature with an odd number of words in its name. (Hyphenated words are one word.)
• Destroy each creature with an even number of words in its name.

Unglued Pea-Brained Dinosaur

{TK}{TK} — {T}: Add {2}. Spend this mana only to cast creature spells.
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — At the beginning of combat on your turn, target noncreature artifact you control becomes a 4/4 artifact creature with flying until end of turn.
{TK}{TK} — 2/4
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 8/6

Clown Car

When Clown Car enters, roll X six-sided dice. For each odd result, create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token. For each even result, put a +1/+1 counter on Clown Car.
Crew 2

Impounding Lot-Bot

When Impounding Lot-Bot enters, you may say "INCARCERATE!" in a robot voice. If you do, exile another target artifact or enchantment until Impounding Lot-Bot leaves the battlefield.

Sarah's Wings

Target creature or player gains flying until end of turn. (Players with flying can't be dealt damage by creatures without flying.)

AWOL

Exile target attacking creature. Then remove it from the game. Then put it into the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game-forever zone.

Amateur Auteur

Sacrifice Amateur Auteur: Destroy target enchantment.

Mirrored Lotus

Reflect {0} (As this enters, each opponent may pay {0}. When they do, they create a token copy of this except it lacks this ability.)
{T}, Exile Mirrored Lotus: Add three mana of any one color.

Scavenger Hunt

Visit — Choose "an elf or goblin," "a tail," or "a flying creature or flying vehicle" at random. You have ten seconds to search your library and reveal a card with the chosen item in its art. If you do, claim the prize! Then shuffle.
Prize — You get {TK}{TK}, then you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own. Sacrifice Scavenger Hunt and open an Attraction.

Mana Abundance

If a player would add mana, instead all players add that mana.

Juggletron

Trample
Whenever Juggletron attacks, you may put an art sticker on it.
Juggletron gets +3/+0 for each item in its art that's not touching Juggletron, another item, or the card frame.

Complaints Clerk

When Complaints Clerk enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)
Whenever you roll a 1, create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token.

Ratchet, Rescue Racer

Living metal (During your turn, this Vehicle is also a creature.)
Lifelink
Whenever one or more nontoken artifacts you control are put into a graveyard from the battlefield, convert Ratchet. This ability triggers only once each turn.

Ratchet, Field Medic

More Than Meets the Eye {1}{W} (You may cast this card converted for {1}{W}.)
Lifelink
Whenever you gain life, you may convert Ratchet. When you do, return target artifact card with mana value less than or equal to the amount of life you gained this turn from your graveyard to the battlefield tapped.

Ratchet, Field Medic // Ratchet, Rescue Racer

Push Your Luck

Visit — Reveal cards from the top of your library until you decide to stop. If the total mana value of the cards revealed this way is 7 or less, create a 2/2 pink Teddy Bear creature token. If the total is exactly 7, claim the prize! Shuffle the revealed cards into your library.
Prize — Put five +1/+1 counters on a Teddy Bear you control. It gains haste. Sacrifice Push Your Luck and open an Attraction.

Seething Song

Robo-Piñata

When Robo-Piñata dies, choose one —
• You get {TK}{TK}.
• You may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own.

Clowning Around

Create two 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature tokens, then roll a six-sided die. If the result is equal to or less than the number of Robots you control, create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token.

Get Your Head in the Game

Flash
When Get Your Head in the Game enters, exile target nonland permanent until it (this card) leaves the battlefield, then touch it (this card) to your head. When it (this card) stops touching it (your head), sacrifice it (the card, not your head).

Autograph Book

Autograph Book enters with a page counter on it for each person who has signed it.
{3}, {T}, Remove a page counter from Autograph Book: Draw a card.

Park Map

{1}, Sacrifice Park Map: Search your library for a land card that doesn't have the same art as a permanent you control, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

My First Tome

{1}, {T}: Say the flavor text on a card in your hand. Target opponent guesses that card's name. You may reveal that card. If you do and they guessed wrong, you draw a card.

Pie-roclasm

Pie-roclasm deals π damage to each non-Clown creature. (How to calculate π isn't important. It's a smidgen more than 3.)

Omniclown Colossus

Affinity for Clowns (This spell costs {1} less to cast for each Clown you control.)
Trample

Omniclown Colossus // Pie-roclasm

Fellwar Stone

{T}: Add one mana of any color that a land an opponent controls could produce.

Goblin Airbrusher

Whenever you place a sticker, create a Treasure token. If it's an art sticker, instead create two Treasure tokens. (They're artifacts with "{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.")

Underdome

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to pay Un-costs.

Dart Throw

Visit — Throw a card you own from outside the game onto the playing area from a distance of three feet (about one meter). If that card touches Dart Throw, claim the prize!
Prize — Create two 2/2 pink Teddy Bear creature tokens. Sacrifice Dart Throw, then open an Attraction.

Entirely Normal Armchair

During your turn, if Entirely Normal Armchair is in your hand, you may hide it on the battlefield.
{0}: Return Entirely Normal Armchair to its owner's hand. Only your opponents may activate this ability and only if they see Entirely Normal Armchair.
{2}, Sacrifice Entirely Normal Armchair: Destroy target attacking creature.

Mountain

Squirrel Stack

Visit — You have five seconds to stack dice on top of one another. If you stack at least five dice, claim the prize!
Prize — Create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token for each die you stacked above the fourth, then sacrifice Squirrel Stack and open an Attraction.

Trivia Contest

Visit — An opponent chooses white card, land card, or planeswalker card, then mills a card. You have ten seconds to name something from the chosen category that starts with the same letter as the milled card. If you do, claim the prize!
Prize — You get {TK}{TK}{TK}, then you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own. Sacrifice Trivia Contest and open an Attraction.

Urza's Fun House

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {∞}. Activate only once and only if you control an Urza's Mine, an Urza's Power-Plant, and an Urza's Tower.
{7}, {T}: Head to AskUrza.com and click Urza's Fun House.

Arcane Signet

Rustvale Bridge

Rustvale Bridge enters tapped.
Indestructible
{T}: Add {R} or {W}.

Slight Malfunction

Choose one —
• Destroy target artifact.
• Roll a six-sided die. When you do, Slight Malfunction deals 1 damage to each of up to X target creatures, where X is the result.

Ticking Mime Bomb

When Ticking Mime Bomb enters, without speaking or indicating any specific creature, pantomime to a person outside the game, then they choose a creature you don't control. Ticking Mime Bomb deals damage equal to twice the number of Robots you control to the chosen creature.

Starlight Spectacular

Parade! — At the beginning of combat on your turn, choose creatures you control one at a time until each creature you control has been chosen. Each of those creatures gets +1/+1 until end of turn for each creature chosen before it. (Places everyone! The first creature in line gets +0/+0.)

Phyrexian Midway Bamboozle

{TK}{TK} — Whenever this creature attacks, you get {TK}.
{TK}{TK}{TK} — Undying (When this creature dies, if it had no +1/+1 counters on it, return it to the battlefield under its owner's control with a +1/+1 counter on it.)
{TK}{TK} — 4/2
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 6/9

Far Out

Rather than choose the indicated number of modes for spells and abilities you control, you may choose one or more modes. You can't choose any mode more than once.

Mentor of the Meek

Whenever another creature you control with power 2 or less enters, you may pay {1}. If you do, draw a card.

The Big Top

{T}: Add one mana of any color that appears on your top. (A top is an outerwear garment worn on the upper body.)

D00-DL, Caricaturist

When D00-DL, Caricaturist enters, create a 4/4 colorless Sketch creature token, which you have fifteen seconds to draw. The token has flying if it has wings in its art. The same is true for first strike and a sword, vigilance and a shield, menace and mean eyes, trample and horns, deathtouch and claws, lifelink and fangs, and haste and footwear.

Arcee, Acrobatic Coupe

Living metal (During your turn, this Vehicle is also a creature.)
Whenever you cast a spell that targets one or more creatures or Vehicles you control, put that many +1/+1 counters on Arcee. Convert Arcee.

Arcee, Sharpshooter

More Than Meets the Eye {R}{W} (You may cast this card converted for {R}{W}.)
First strike
{1}, Remove one or more +1/+1 counters from Arcee: It deals that much damage to target creature. Convert Arcee.

Arcee, Sharpshooter // Arcee, Acrobatic Coupe

Mad Science Fair Project

{T}: Roll a six-sided die. On a 3 or lower, target player adds {C}. Otherwise, that player adds one mana of any color they choose.

Strength-Testing Hammer

Whenever equipped creature attacks, roll a six-sided die. That creature gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the result. Then if it has the greatest power or is tied for greatest power among creatures on the battlefield, draw a card.
Equip {3}

Sacred Peaks

({T}: Add {R} or {W}.)
Sacred Peaks enters tapped.

Exotic Orchard

Surprise Party

When Surprise Party enters, yell "Surprise!" and put onto the battlefield any number of printed Clown Robot tokens that aren't touching each other, that you hid on the battlefield before you cast Surprise Party, and that weren't spotted by an opponent before you cast Surprise Party.
Robots you control get +1/+0 and have vigilance.

Boros Charm

Choose one —
• Boros Charm deals 4 damage to target player or planeswalker.
• Permanents you control gain indestructible until end of turn.
• Target creature gains double strike until end of turn.

Transcantation

Target instant or sorcery spell becomes a copy of Lightning Bolt. Its controller may choose new targets for it.

Buzzing Whack-a-Doodle

As Buzzing Whack-a-Doodle enters, you and an opponent each secretly choose Whack or Doodle. Then those choices are revealed. If the choices match, Buzzing Whack-a-Doodle has that ability. Otherwise, it has Buzz.
• Whack — {T}: Target player loses 2 life.
• Doodle — {T}: You gain 3 life.
• Buzz — {2}, {T}: Draw a card.

Circuits Act

Roll three six-sided dice. For each different result, create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token.

Aggressive Crag

At the beginning of your combat step, tap Aggressive Crag.
{T}: Add {R} or {W}.

Crush Contraband

Choose one or both —
• Exile target artifact.
• Exile target enchantment.

Yawgmoth Merfolk Soul

{TK}{TK} — When this permanent leaves the battlefield, target player discards a card.
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — When this permanent leaves the battlefield, create five 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature tokens.
{TK}{TK} — 3/3
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 6/5

Wind-Scarred Crag

Wind-Scarred Crag enters tapped.
When Wind-Scarred Crag enters, you gain 1 life.
{T}: Add {R} or {W}.

_____ Goblin

When this creature enters, you may put a name sticker on it. Add {R} for each unique vowel on that sticker. (The vowels are A, E, I, O, U, and Y.)

Losheel, Clockwork Scholar

Prevent all combat damage that would be dealt to attacking artifact creatures you control.
Whenever one or more artifact creatures you control enter, draw a card. This ability triggers only once each turn.

Ticket Turbotubes

{T}: Add one mana of any color.
{3}, {T}: You get {TK} (a ticket counter).

Clown Extruder

Visit — Create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token.

Nearby Planet

Rangeling (This card is every land type, including Plains, Island, Swamp, Mountain, Forest, Desert, Gate, Lair, Locus, and all those Urza's ones.)
Nearby Planet enters tapped.
When Nearby Planet enters, sacrifice it unless you pay {1}.

Wicker Picker

Creature spells you cast have sticker kicker {1}. (You may pay an additional {1} as you cast a creature spell. If you do, you get {TK}, then you may put a sticker on it.)

Pietra, Crafter of Clowns

Haste
Robots you control get +1/+1.
{R}{W}, {T}, Tell a joke you haven't told this game to someone outside the game: Create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token. If that person laughed, the token gains haste until end of turn.

Urza's Contact Lenses

Urza's Contact Lenses enters tapped.
Urza's Contact Lenses doesn't untap during your untap step.
As long as Urza's Contact Lenses is untapped, all players play with their hands revealed.
Clap your hands twice: You may tap or untap Urza's Contact Lenses.

Plains

Cover the Spot

Visit — Drop three cards you own from outside the game one at a time onto the playing area from a height of at least one foot (about 0.3 meters). If those cards completely cover Cover the Spot, claim the prize!
Prize — You get {TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}, then you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own. Sacrifice Cover the Spot, then open an Attraction.

Slicer, High-Speed Antagonist

Living metal (During your turn, this Vehicle is also a creature.)
First strike, haste
Whenever Slicer deals combat damage to a player, convert it at end of combat.

Slicer, Hired Muscle

More Than Meets the Eye {2}{R} (You may cast this card converted for {2}{R}.)
Double strike, haste
At the beginning of each opponent's upkeep, you may have that player gain control of Slicer until end of turn. If you do, untap Slicer, goad it, and it can't be sacrificed this turn. If you don't, convert it.

Slicer, Hired Muscle // Slicer, High-Speed Antagonist

Playable Delusionary Hydra

{TK}{TK} — {T}: Draw a card, then discard a card.
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — Whenever this creature attacks, you gain 3 life and draw a card.
{TK}{TK} — 1/5
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 4/4

Guess Your Fate

Visit — Look at the bottom card of your library, then give a person outside the game a one-word clue not on that card. They guess a word. If their guess appears in that card's name, claim the prize!
Prize — Reveal the card, put it into your hand, then sacrifice Guess Your Fate and open an Attraction.

Boros Garrison

Boros Garrison enters tapped.
When Boros Garrison enters, return a land you control to its owner's hand.
{T}: Add {R}{W}.

Pin Collection

When Pin Collection enters, you may put an ability sticker with ticket cost X or less on it without paying that sticker's ticket cost.
Equipped creature gets +1/+1 and has all abilities of ability stickers on Pin Collection.
Equip {2}