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im gonna parry
Whenever Tetsuo attacks, if it's equipped, choose one — • Tetsuo deals damage equal to the greatest mana value among Equipment attached to it to any target. • You may cast an instant or sorcery spell from your hand with mana value less than or equal to the greatest mana value among Equipment attached to Tetsuo without paying its mana cost.

im gonna parry
????? im gonna puke
Look at the top two cards of target opponent's library. Exile one of them face down and put the other on the bottom of that library. You may play the exiled card for as long as it remains exiled, and you may spend mana as though it were mana of any color to cast that spell. Flashback {1}{U}{B}

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????? wtf
Suspend 4—{U} (Rather than cast this card from your hand, pay {U} and exile it with four time counters on it. At the beginning of your upkeep, remove a time counter. When the last is removed, you may cast it without paying its mana cost.) Target player draws three cards.

Suspend 3—{1}{U}{U} (Rather than cast this card from your hand, pay {1}{U}{U} and exile it with three time counters on it. At the beginning of your upkeep, remove a time counter. When the last is removed, you may cast it without paying its mana cost.) Search target opponent's library for a creature card and put that card onto the battlefield under your control. Then that player shuffles.

Suspend 2—{1}{B} (Rather than cast this card from your hand, pay {1}{B} and exile it with two time counters on it. At the beginning of your upkeep, remove a time counter. When the last is removed, you may cast it without paying its mana cost.) Search your library for a card, put that card into your hand, then shuffle.

Each opponent chooses fame or fortune. For each player who chose fame, gain control of a creature that player controls until end of turn. Untap those creatures and they gain haste until end of turn. For each player who chose fortune, you draw a card and create a Treasure token.

Suspend 4—{1}{R} (Rather than cast this card from your hand, pay {1}{R} and exile it with four time counters on it. At the beginning of your upkeep, remove a time counter. When the last is removed, you may cast it without paying its mana cost.) Each player discards their hand, then draws seven cards.

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EUGHHHHHHHHHHHH
LMAO
Equipped creature has deathtouch and lifelink. (Any amount of damage it deals to a creature is enough to destroy it. Damage dealt by this creature also causes you to gain that much life.) Equip {2} ({2}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Menace Equipped creature has base power and toughness 5/5, has menace, and is a black Demon in addition to its other colors and types. Reconfigure {2}{B}{B} ({2}{B}{B}: Attach to target creature you control; or unattach from a creature. Reconfigure only as a sorcery. While attached, this isn't a creature.)

As long as this Equipment is attached to a creature, you don't lose the game for having 0 or less life. Whenever equipped creature attacks, draw a card and reveal it. The creature gets +X/+X until end of turn and you lose X life, where X is that card's mana value. Equip—Discard a card.

Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has protection from green and from white. Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, exile up to one target creature you own, then search your library for a basic land card. Put both cards onto the battlefield under your control, then shuffle. Equip {2}

You may look at the top card of your library any time. As long as The Reality Chip is attached to a creature, you may play lands and cast spells from the top of your library. Reconfigure {2}{U} ({2}{U}: Attach to target creature you control; or unattach from a creature. Reconfigure only as a sorcery. While attached, this isn't a creature.)

LMAO
Land
Land
the gang
Affinity for artifacts (This spell costs {1} less to cast for each artifact you control.) When Emry enters, mill four cards. {T}: Choose target artifact card in your graveyard. You may cast that card this turn. (You still pay its costs. Timing rules still apply.)

the gang
useless cant equip
useless cant equip
swordboard
Equipped creature has "{2}: This creature gets +1/+0 until end of turn." Whenever equipped creature deals damage to a blocking creature, this Equipment deals that much damage to each other creature defending player controls. Equip {3} ({3}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has protection from Rogues and from Clerics. Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, create a 4/4 gold Dragon creature token with flying and roll a d20 (a twenty-sided die). If you roll a 20, repeat this process. Equip {2}

Equipped creature gets +5/+5. Whenever equipped creature deals damage to a creature, exile that creature. (Exile it only if it's still on the battlefield.) Equip {4} ({4}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery. This card enters unattached and stays on the battlefield if the creature leaves.)

Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has protection from white and from blue. Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, put a +1/+1 counter on a creature you control, then proliferate. (Choose any number of permanents and/or players, then give each another counter of each kind already there.) Equip {2}

Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has protection from red and from white. Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, this Equipment deals damage to that player equal to the number of cards in their hand and you gain 1 life for each card in your hand. Equip {2}

swordboard
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