Censorship

As Censorship enters, choose a word.
Whenever a player says the chosen word, Censorship deals 2 damage to that player.

Hazmat Suit (Used)

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +2/+1 and has menace.
Whenever a player's skin or fingernail touches enchanted creature, that player loses 2 life.

Common Courtesy

Whenever a player casts a spell without asking your permission while casting it, counter that spell.
When a player asks you permission to cast a spell and you refuse, counter that spell and sacrifice Common Courtesy.

Bronze Calendar

Spells you cast cost {1} less to cast.
You must speak in a voice other than your normal voice.
When you speak in your normal voice, sacrifice Bronze Calendar.

Champion of the Perished

Whenever another Zombie you control enters, put a +1/+1 counter on Champion of the Perished.

Ashnod's Coupon

{T}, Sacrifice Ashnod's Coupon: Target player gets you target drink. You pay any costs for the drink.

Cemetery Desecrator

Menace
When Cemetery Desecrator enters or dies, exile another card from a graveyard. When you do, choose one —
• Remove X counters from target permanent, where X is the mana value of the exiled card.
• Target creature an opponent controls gets -X/-X until end of turn, where X is the mana value of the exiled card.

Drowned Catacomb

Drowned Catacomb enters tapped unless you control an Island or a Swamp.
{T}: Add {U} or {B}.

Shipwreck Marsh

Shipwreck Marsh enters tapped unless you control two or more other lands.
{T}: Add {U} or {B}.

Hangman

As Hangman enters, secretly note a word with six to eight letters.
{1}: Target player who doesn't control Hangman guesses the noted word or an unguessed letter in that word. If they guess wrong, put a +1/+1 counter on Hangman. Any player may activate this ability.
When a player guesses the noted word or all of its letters, sacrifice Hangman.

Choked Estuary

As Choked Estuary enters, you may reveal an Island or Swamp card from your hand. If you don't, Choked Estuary enters tapped.
{T}: Add {U} or {B}.

Invoke Despair

Target opponent sacrifices a creature of their choice. If they can't, they lose 2 life and you draw a card. Then repeat this process for an enchantment and a planeswalker.

Spell Counter

Counter target spell.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "spell" or "counter," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Spell Counter from your graveyard to your hand.

Island

Geralf, Visionary Stitcher

Zombies you control have flying.
{U}, {T}, Sacrifice another nontoken creature: Create an X/X blue Zombie creature token, where X is the sacrificed creature's toughness.

The Meathook Massacre

When The Meathook Massacre enters, each creature gets -X/-X until end of turn.
Whenever a creature you control dies, each opponent loses 1 life.
Whenever a creature an opponent controls dies, you gain 1 life.

Bladestitched Skaab

Eaten Alive

As an additional cost to cast this spell, sacrifice a creature or pay {3}{B}.
Exile target creature or planeswalker.

Contaminated Aquifer

({T}: Add {U} or {B}.)
Contaminated Aquifer enters tapped.

R&D's Secret Lair

Play cards as written. Ignore all errata.
{T}: Add {C}. (This mana is still added to your mana pool.)

Eye to Eye

You and target creature's controller have a staring contest. If you win, destroy that creature.

Infernal Spawn of Evil

Flying, first strike
{1}{B}, Reveal Infernal Spawn of Evil from your hand, Say "It's coming!": Infernal Spawn of Evil deals 1 damage to target opponent or planeswalker. Activate only during your upkeep and only once each turn.

Unhallowed Phalanx

Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil

Flying, first strike, trample
Once each turn, while you're searching your library, you may pay {1}{B}, reveal Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil from your library and say "I'm coming, too!" If you do, Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil deals 2 damage to a player of your choice.

Cheatyface

If Cheatyface is in your hand, you may sneak Cheatyface onto the battlefield. If an opponent catches you right away, that player may exile Cheatyface.
Flying

Mouth to Mouth

Choose target opponent and target creature they control. You and that player have a breath-holding contest. If you win, you gain control of that creature.

Dismal Backwater

This land enters tapped.
When this land enters, you gain 1 life.
{T}: Add {U} or {B}.

Kill! Destroy!

Destroy target nonblack creature.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "kill" or "destroy," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Kill! Destroy! from your graveyard to your hand.

Swamp

Mox Lotus

{T}: Add {∞}.
{100}: Add one mana of any color.

Chaos Confetti

{4}, {T}: Tear Chaos Confetti into pieces. Throw the pieces onto the battlefield from a distance of at least five feet. Destroy each permanent that a piece touches. Remove the pieces from the game.

Blacker Lotus

{T}: Tear Blacker Lotus into pieces. Add four mana of any one color. Remove the pieces from the game.

Jack-in-the-Mox

{T}: Roll a six-sided die. This ability has the indicated effect.
1 — Sacrifice Jack-in-the-Mox and you lose 5 life.
2 — Add {W}.
3 — Add {U}.
4 — Add {B}.
5 — Add {R}.
6 — Add {G}.

Gisa, Glorious Resurrector

If a creature an opponent controls would die, exile it instead.
At the beginning of your upkeep, put all creature cards exiled with Gisa, Glorious Resurrector onto the battlefield under your control. They gain decayed. (A creature with decayed can't block. When it attacks, sacrifice it at end of combat.)

Falcon Abomination

Flying
When Falcon Abomination enters, create a 2/2 black Zombie creature token with decayed. (It can't block. When it attacks, sacrifice it at end of combat.)

Bureaucracy

Pursuant to subsection 3.1(4) of Richard's Rules of Order, at the beginning of the upkeep of each participant in this game of the Magic: The Gathering® trading card game (hereafter known as "PLAYER"), that PLAYER performs all actions in the sequence of previously added actions (hereafter known as "ACTION QUEUE"), in the order those actions were added, then adds another action to the end of the ACTION QUEUE. All actions must be simple physical or verbal actions that a player can perform while sitting in a chair, without jeopardizing the health and security of said PLAYER.
When any PLAYER does not perform all the prescribed actions in the correct order, sacrifice Bureaucracy and said PLAYER discards their complement of cards in hand (hereafter known as "HAND").

Corpse Cobble

As an additional cost to cast this spell, sacrifice any number of creatures.
Create an X/X blue and black Zombie creature token with menace, where X is the total power of the sacrificed creatures.
Flashback {3}{U}{B} (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its flashback cost and any additional costs. Then exile it.)

Infernius Spawnington III, Esq.

Flying, first strike, trample, haste
This spell costs {3} less to cast for each card you've revealed this turn.
When Infernius Spawnington III, Esq. enters, you may say "I'm here." If you do, it deals 3 damage to target player.

Volrath's Motion Sensor

Enchant player
As Volrath's Motion Sensor enters, choose one of enchanted player's hands. That player balances Volrath's Motion Sensor on the back of that hand.
When Volrath's Motion Sensor falls off the chosen hand, sacrifice Volrath's Motion Sensor and enchanted player loses 3 life.

Hobbling Zombie

Deathtouch
When Hobbling Zombie dies, create a 2/2 black Zombie creature token with decayed. (It can't block. When it attacks, sacrifice it at end of combat.)