Professor Onyx

Magecraft — Whenever you cast or copy an instant or sorcery spell, each opponent loses 2 life and you gain 2 life.
+1: You lose 1 life. Look at the top three cards of your library. Put one of them into your hand and the rest into your graveyard.
−3: Each opponent sacrifices a creature with the greatest power among creatures that player controls.
−8: Each opponent may discard a card. If they don't, they lose 3 life. Repeat this process six more times.

Sedgemoor Witch

Menace
Ward—Pay 3 life. (Whenever this creature becomes the target of a spell or ability an opponent controls, counter it unless that player pays 3 life.)
Magecraft — Whenever you cast or copy an instant or sorcery spell, create a 1/1 black and green Pest creature token with "When this creature dies, you gain 1 life."

Blood on the Snow

Choose one —
• Destroy all creatures.
• Destroy all planeswalkers.
Then return a creature or planeswalker card with mana value X or less from your graveyard to the battlefield, where X is the amount of {S} spent to cast this spell. ({S} is mana from a snow source.)

Shambling Ghast

When Shambling Ghast dies, choose one —
• Target creature an opponent controls gets -1/-1 until end of turn.
• Create a Treasure token. (It's an artifact with "{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.")

Environmental Sciences

Search your library for a basic land card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle. You gain 2 life.

Plumb the Forbidden

As an additional cost to cast this spell, you may sacrifice one or more creatures. When you do, copy this spell for each creature sacrificed this way.
You draw a card and you lose 1 life.

Bastion of Remembrance

When Bastion of Remembrance enters, create a 1/1 white Human Soldier creature token.
Whenever a creature you control dies, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain 1 life.

Faceless Haven

{T}: Add {C}.
{S}{S}{S}: Faceless Haven becomes a 4/3 creature with vigilance and all creature types until end of turn. It's still a land. ({S} can be paid with one mana from a snow source.)

Necrotic Fumes

As an additional cost to cast this spell, exile a creature you control.
Exile target creature or planeswalker.

Eyetwitch

Flying
When Eyetwitch dies, learn. (You may reveal a Lesson card you own from outside the game and put it into your hand, or discard a card to draw a card.)

Lolth, Spider Queen

Whenever a creature you control dies, put a loyalty counter on Lolth, Spider Queen.
0: You draw a card and you lose 1 life.
−3: Create two 2/1 black Spider creature tokens with menace and reach.
−8: You get an emblem with "Whenever an opponent is dealt combat damage by one or more creatures you control, if that player lost less than 8 life this turn, they lose life equal to the difference."

Skullport Merchant

When Skullport Merchant enters, create a Treasure token. (It's an artifact with "{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.")
{1}{B}, Sacrifice another creature or a Treasure: Draw a card.

Snow-Covered Swamp

Deadly Dispute

As an additional cost to cast this spell, sacrifice an artifact or creature.
Draw two cards and create a Treasure token. (It's an artifact with "{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.")

Infernal Grasp

Destroy target creature. You lose 2 life.

Woodland Chasm

({T}: Add {B} or {G}.)
Woodland Chasm enters tapped.

Hunt for Specimens

Create a 1/1 black and green Pest creature token with "When this creature dies, you gain 1 life."
Learn. (You may reveal a Lesson card you own from outside the game and put it into your hand, or discard a card to draw a card.)

Snow-Covered Forest

Containment Breach

Destroy target artifact or enchantment. If its mana value is 2 or less, create a 1/1 black and green Pest creature token with "When this creature dies, you gain 1 life."

Field of Ruin

{T}: Add {C}.
{2}, {T}, Sacrifice Field of Ruin: Destroy target nonbasic land an opponent controls. Each player searches their library for a basic land card, puts it onto the battlefield, then shuffles.

Pest Summoning

Create two 1/1 black and green Pest creature tokens with "When this creature dies, you gain 1 life."

Have

Getting

Don't Have

{"ops":[{"insert":"BOR in place of Meathook, because that card costs too fuckin' much.\n"}]}