Secret Base

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to cast a spell that shares a watermark with this land.

Swamp

Mary O'Kill

{1}{B/R}: Switch a Killbot or Mary O'Kill in your hand with one on the battlefield. (If a creature is tapped, the switched creature is tapped. The same is true for untapped, attacking, blocking, enchanted, equipped, and targeted. Any counters on a creature are on the switched creature instead.)

Rock Lobster

Creatures named Scissors Lizard can't attack or block.

Baron Von Count

Baron Von Count enters with a doom counter on "5."
Whenever you cast a spell with the indicated numeral in its mana cost, text box, power, or toughness, move the doom counter one numeral to the left.
When the doom counter moves from "1," destroy target player and put that doom counter on "5."

Pygmy Giant

{R}, {T}, Sacrifice a creature: This creature deals X damage to target creature, where X is a number in the sacrificed creature's text box.

Paper Tiger

Creatures named Rock Lobster can't attack or block.

Infernius Spawnington III, Esq.

Flying, first strike, trample, haste
This spell costs {3} less to cast for each card you've revealed this turn.
When this creature enters, you may say "I'm here." If you do, it deals 3 damage to target player.

Command Tower

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Karakas

{T}: Add {W}.
{T}: Return target legendary creature to its owner's hand.

Scissors Lizard

Creatures named Paper Tiger can't attack or block.

Frazzled Editor

Protection from wordy (Something is wordy if it has four or more lines of rules text.)

Bad Ass

Curious Killbot

Jund Panorama

{T}: Add {C}.
{1}, {T}, Sacrifice this land: Search your library for a basic Swamp, Mountain, or Forest card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Enraged Killbot

GO TO JAIL

When this enchantment enters, exile target creature an opponent controls until this enchantment leaves the battlefield.
At the beginning of the upkeep of the exiled card's owner, that player rolls two six-sided dice. If they roll doubles, sacrifice this enchantment.

The Cheese Stands Alone

When you control no permanents other than The Cheese Stands Alone and have no cards in hand, you win the game.

Sword of Dungeons & Dragons

Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has protection from Rogues and from Clerics.
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, create a 4/4 gold Dragon creature token with flying and roll a d20 (a twenty-sided die). If you roll a 20, repeat this process.
Equip {2}

Three-Headed Goblin

Triple strike (This creature deals first-strike, regular, and last-strike combat damage.)

Curse of the Fire Penguin Creature

Trample
When this creature dies, return Curse of the Fire Penguin to the battlefield.

Curse of the Fire Penguin

Enchant creature
This enchantment consumes and confuses enchanted creature.

Curse of the Fire Penguin // Curse of the Fire Penguin Creature

Vivid Meadow

This land enters tapped with two charge counters on it.
{T}: Add {W}.
{T}, Remove a charge counter from this land: Add one mana of any color.

Split Screen

When this artifact enters, shuffle your library and deal it into four libraries. If anything refers to your library, choose one of your libraries for it.
Play with your libraries' top cards revealed.
When this artifact leaves the battlefield, shuffle your libraries together.

Deal Damage

Deal Damage deals 4 damage to any target.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "deal" or "damage," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Deal Damage from your graveyard to your hand.

Esper Panorama

{T}: Add {C}.
{1}, {T}, Sacrifice this land: Search your library for a basic Plains, Island, or Swamp card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Jumbo Imp

Flying
As this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. This creature enters with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the result.
At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die and put a number of +1/+1 counters on this creature equal to the result.
At the beginning of your end step, roll a six-sided die and remove a number of +1/+1 counters from this creature equal to the result.

Mother of Goons

Whenever a creature an opponent controls dies, sacrifice this creature unless you insult that creature.

Adanto, the First Fort

(Transforms from Legion's Landing.)
{T}: Add {W}.
{2}{W}, {T}: Create a 1/1 white Vampire creature token with lifelink.

Legion's Landing

When Legion's Landing enters, create a 1/1 white Vampire creature token with lifelink.
When you attack with three or more creatures, transform Legion's Landing.

Legion's Landing // Adanto, the First Fort

Over My Dead Bodies

Creature cards in graveyards can attack and block as though they were on the battlefield, can block or be blocked only by creature cards in graveyards, are Zombies in addition to their other types, and have undeathtouch. (If they would deal damage to a creature card, exile that creature card instead.)
Creature cards in your graveyard have haste.

Inhumaniac

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. On a 3 or 4, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature. On a 5 or higher, put two +1/+1 counters on it. On a 1, remove all +1/+1 counters from this creature.

Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil

Flying, first strike, trample
Once each turn, while you're searching your library, you may pay {1}{B}, reveal this card from your library and say "I'm coming, too" If you do, this card deals 2 damage to a player of your choice.

Assquatch

Each other Donkey gets +1½/+1½.
Whenever another Donkey enters, untap target creature and gain control of it until end of turn. That creature gains haste until end of turn.

Cabal Stronghold

{T}: Add {C}.
{3}, {T}: Add {B} for each basic Swamp you control.

Cheap Ass

When Fluffy Bunnies Attack

Target creature gets -X/-X until end of turn, where X is the number of times the letter of your choice appears in that creature's name.

The Fallen Apart

This creature enters with two arms and two legs.
Whenever damage is dealt to this creature, remove an arm or a leg from it.
This creature can't attack if it has no legs and can't block if it has no arms.

Forbidden Orchard

{T}: Add one mana of any color.
Whenever you tap this land for mana, target opponent creates a 1/1 colorless Spirit creature token.

Sauté

City of Ass

This land enters tapped.
{T}: Add one and one-half mana of any one color.

Jack-in-the-Mox

{T}: Roll a six-sided die. This ability has the indicated effect.
1 — Sacrifice this artifact and you lose 5 life.
2 — Add {W}.
3 — Add {U}.
4 — Add {B}.
5 — Add {R}.
6 — Add {G}.

Myriad Landscape

This land enters tapped.
{T}: Add {C}.
{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this land: Search your library for up to two basic land cards that share a land type, put them onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Box of Free-Range Goblins

Roll a six-sided die. Create a number of 1/1 red Goblin creature tokens equal to the result.

Castle Embereth

This land enters tapped unless you control a Mountain.
{T}: Add {R}.
{1}{R}{R}, {T}: Creatures you control get +1/+0 until end of turn.

Knight of the Kitchen Sink

First strike, protection from watermarks (Nothing with a watermark can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

Party Crasher

Haste
You can attack with this creature once each combat during each opponent's turn.

Bosom Buddy

Whenever you cast a spell, you may gain ½ life for each word in that spell's name.

Wordmail

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +1/+1 for each word in its name.

Blast from the Past

Madness {R}, cycling {1}{R}, kicker {2}{R}, flashback {3}{R}, buyback {4}{R}
Blast from the Past deals 2 damage to any target. If this spell was kicked, create a 1/1 red Goblin creature token.

Masterful Ninja

Haste
Reveal this card from your hand: Masterful Ninja is on the battlefield and in your hand until end of turn.
{1}{B}: This creature gets +1/+1 until end of turn.

Dumb Ass

At the beginning of your upkeep, flip a coin. If you lose the flip, target opponent chooses whether this creature attacks this turn.

Common Iguana

When this creature enters, you may discard a card. If you do, draw a card.

Den of the Bugbear

If you control two or more other lands, this land enters tapped.
{T}: Add {R}.
{3}{R}: Until end of turn, this land becomes a 3/2 red Goblin creature with "Whenever this creature attacks, create a 1/1 red Goblin creature token that's tapped and attacking." It's still a land.

Scrubland

Grusilda, Monster Masher

Combined, enchanted, and equipped creatures you control have menace.
{3}{B}{R}, {T}: Put two target creature cards from graveyards onto the battlefield combined into one creature under your control. (Its power is equal to their total power, its toughness is equal to their total toughness, and it has their names, mana costs, types, text boxes, etc.)

Who // What // When // Where // Why

Ancient Ziggurat

{T}: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to cast a creature spell.

Look at Me, I'm the DCI

Ban a card other than a basic land card for the rest of the match. (All cards with that name in any zone or sideboard are removed from the match.)

Warped Landscape

{T}: Add {C}.
{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this land: Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Bad River

This land enters tapped.
{T}, Sacrifice this land: Search your library for an Island or Swamp card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

Infernal Spawn of Evil

Flying, first strike
{1}{B}, Reveal this card from your hand, Say "It's coming": This card deals 1 damage to target opponent or planeswalker. Activate only during your upkeep and only once each turn.

Little Girl

Grixis Panorama

{T}: Add {C}.
{1}, {T}, Sacrifice this land: Search your library for a basic Island, Swamp, or Mountain card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Despondent Killbot

Chicken Egg

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. If you roll a 6, sacrifice this creature and create a 4/4 red Giant Bird creature token.

Delighted Killbot

Yet Another Aether Vortex

All creatures have haste.
Players play with the top card of their libraries revealed.
Noninstant, nonsorcery cards on top of a library are on the battlefield under their owner's control in addition to being in that library.

My First Tome

{1}, {T}: Say the flavor text on a card in your hand. Target opponent guesses that card's name. You may reveal that card. If you do and they guessed wrong, you draw a card.

Badlands

Serra's Sanctum

{T}: Add {W} for each enchantment you control.

First Come, First Served

Each attacking or blocking creature with the lowest collector number among attacking or blocking creatures has first strike.

Nykthos, Shrine to Nyx

{T}: Add {C}.
{2}, {T}: Choose a color. Add an amount of mana of that color equal to your devotion to that color. (Your devotion to a color is the number of mana symbols of that color in the mana costs of permanents you control.)

Save Life

Choose one —
• Target player gains 2½ life.
• Prevent the next 2½ damage that would be dealt to target creature this turn.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "save" or "life," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Save Life from your graveyard to your hand.

Dirty Rat

When this creature enters, target opponent discards a card.

Emcee

Whenever another creature enters, you may stand up and say in a deep, booming voice, "Presenting . . . " and that creature's name. If you do, put a +1/+1 counter on that creature.

Modular Monstrosity

Whenever an opponent casts a spell, you have five seconds to choose a keyword you haven't chosen for a card named Modular Monstrosity today that's been printed on a creature card. If you do, this creature gains that ability. Otherwise, this creature loses all keyword abilities.

Kill! Destroy!

Destroy target nonblack creature.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "kill" or "destroy," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Kill! Destroy! from your graveyard to your hand.

Rod of Spanking

{2}, {T}: This artifact deals 1 damage to target player. Then untap this artifact unless that player says "Thank you, sir. May I have another?"

Crucible of Worlds

Gnome-Made Engine

When this creature enters, create a 1/1 colorless Gnome artifact creature token.

Sly Spy

Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, that player reveals the top card of their library. Put that card into your hand and you lose life equal to its mana value.

Underdome

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to pay Un-costs.

Kabira Crossroads

This land enters tapped.
When this land enters, you gain 2 life.
{T}: Add {W}.

Old-Fashioned Vampire

Flying
This creature gets +2/+2 and has deathtouch as long as it's dark outdoors.

Destroy target creature with reminder text. (Reminder text is any italicized text in parentheses that explains rules you already know.)

Cascading Cataracts

Indestructible
{T}: Add {C}.
{5}, {T}: Add five mana in any combination of colors.

Target Minotaur

Prowess (Whenever you cast a noncreature spell, this creature gets +1/+1 until end of turn.)

Mountain

Goblin Haberdasher

Menace (This creature can't be blocked except by two or more creatures.)
Other creatures you control wearing hats in their art have menace.

Naya Panorama

{T}: Add {C}.
{1}, {T}, Sacrifice this land: Search your library for a basic Mountain, Forest, or Plains card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Krazy Kow

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. If you a roll a 1, sacrifice this creature and it deals 3 damage to each creature and each player.

Infinity Elemental

Bumbling Pangolin

When this creature enters, you may destroy target artifact.

Rules Lawyer

State-based actions don't apply to you or other permanents you control. (You don't lose the game due to having 0 or less life or drawing from an empty library. Your creatures aren't destroyed due to damage or deathtouch and aren't put into a graveyard due to having 0 or less toughness. Your planeswalkers aren't put into a graveyard if they have 0 loyalty. You don't put a legendary permanent into a graveyard if you control two with the same name. Counters aren't removed from your permanents due to game rules. Permanents you control attached or combined illegally remain on the battlefield. For complete rules and regulations, see rule 704.)

Adorable Kitten

When this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. You gain life equal to the result.

Old Guard

{W}, {T}: Tap target creature without reminder text. (Reminder text is still any italicized text in parentheses that explains rules you already know.)

Gemstone Mine

This land enters with three mining counters on it.
{T}, Remove a mining counter from this land: Add one mana of any color. If there are no mining counters on this land, sacrifice it.

Cheatyface

If Cheatyface is in your hand, you may sneak Cheatyface onto the battlefield. If an opponent catches you right away, that player may exile Cheatyface.
Flying

AWOL

Exile target attacking creature. Then remove it from the game. Then put it into the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game-forever zone.