Assquatch

Each other Donkey gets +1½/+1½.
Whenever another Donkey enters, untap target creature and gain control of it until end of turn. That creature gains haste until end of turn.

Delighted Killbot

Grusilda, Monster Masher

Combined, enchanted, and equipped creatures you control have menace.
{3}{B}{R}, {T}: Put two target creature cards from graveyards onto the battlefield combined into one creature under your control. (Its power is equal to their total power, its toughness is equal to their total toughness, and it has their names, mana costs, types, text boxes, etc.)

Bad River

Bad River enters tapped.
{T}, Sacrifice Bad River: Search your library for an Island or Swamp card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

Myriad Landscape

Myriad Landscape enters tapped.
{T}: Add {C}.
{2}, {T}, Sacrifice Myriad Landscape: Search your library for up to two basic land cards that share a land type, put them onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Karakas

{T}: Add {W}.
{T}: Return target legendary creature to its owner's hand.

Look at Me, I'm the DCI

Ban a card other than a basic land card for the rest of the match. (All cards with that name in any zone or sideboard are removed from the match.)

Blast from the Past

Madness {R}, cycling {1}{R}, kicker {2}{R}, flashback {3}{R}, buyback {4}{R}
Blast from the Past deals 2 damage to any target. If this spell was kicked, create a 1/1 red Goblin creature token.

Deal Damage

Deal Damage deals 4 damage to any target.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "deal" or "damage," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Deal Damage from your graveyard to your hand.

Little Girl

Curious Killbot

Sly Spy

Whenever Sly Spy deals combat damage to a player, that player reveals the top card of their library. Put that card into your hand and you lose life equal to its mana value.

Dumb Ass

At the beginning of your upkeep, flip a coin. If you lose the flip, target opponent chooses whether Dumb Ass attacks this turn.

Castle Embereth

Castle Embereth enters tapped unless you control a Mountain.
{T}: Add {R}.
{1}{R}{R}, {T}: Creatures you control get +1/+0 until end of turn.

Nykthos, Shrine to Nyx

{T}: Add {C}.
{2}, {T}: Choose a color. Add an amount of mana of that color equal to your devotion to that color. (Your devotion to a color is the number of mana symbols of that color in the mana costs of permanents you control.)

Jumbo Imp

Flying
As Jumbo Imp enters, roll a six-sided die. Jumbo Imp enters with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the result.
At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die and put a number of +1/+1 counters on Jumbo Imp equal to the result.
At the beginning of your end step, roll a six-sided die and remove a number of +1/+1 counters from Jumbo Imp equal to the result.

Scrubland

The Cheese Stands Alone

When you control no permanents other than The Cheese Stands Alone and have no cards in hand, you win the game.

Emcee

Whenever another creature enters, you may stand up and say in a deep, booming voice, "Presenting . . . " and that creature's name. If you do, put a +1/+1 counter on that creature.

City of Ass

City of Ass enters tapped.
{T}: Add one and one-half mana of any one color.

Badlands

Rock Lobster

Creatures named Scissors Lizard can't attack or block.

Yet Another Aether Vortex

All creatures have haste.
Players play with the top card of their libraries revealed.
Noninstant, nonsorcery cards on top of a library are on the battlefield under their owner's control in addition to being in that library.

Cheatyface

If Cheatyface is in your hand, you may sneak Cheatyface onto the battlefield. If an opponent catches you right away, that player may exile Cheatyface.
Flying

Infernal Spawn of Evil

Flying, first strike
{1}{B}, Reveal Infernal Spawn of Evil from your hand, Say "It's coming!": Infernal Spawn of Evil deals 1 damage to target opponent or planeswalker. Activate only during your upkeep and only once each turn.

Cheap Ass

Infinity Elemental

AWOL

Exile target attacking creature. Then remove it from the game. Then put it into the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game-forever zone.

Infernius Spawnington III, Esq.

Flying, first strike, trample, haste
This spell costs {3} less to cast for each card you've revealed this turn.
When Infernius Spawnington III, Esq. enters, you may say "I'm here." If you do, it deals 3 damage to target player.

Rules Lawyer

State-based actions don't apply to you or other permanents you control. (You don't lose the game due to having 0 or less life or drawing from an empty library. Your creatures aren't destroyed due to damage or deathtouch and aren't put into a graveyard due to having 0 or less toughness. Your planeswalkers aren't put into a graveyard if they have 0 loyalty. You don't put a legendary permanent into a graveyard if you control two with the same name. Counters aren't removed from your permanents due to game rules. Permanents you control attached or combined illegally remain on the battlefield. For complete rules and regulations, see rule 704.)

My First Tome

{1}, {T}: Say the flavor text on a card in your hand. Target opponent guesses that card's name. You may reveal that card. If you do and they guessed wrong, you draw a card.

Despondent Killbot

Mary O'Kill

{1}{B/R}: Switch a Killbot or Mary O'Kill in your hand with one on the battlefield. (If a creature is tapped, the switched creature is tapped. The same is true for untapped, attacking, blocking, enchanted, equipped, and targeted. Any counters on a creature are on the switched creature instead.)

Three-Headed Goblin

Triple strike (This creature deals first-strike, regular, and last-strike combat damage.)

Kill! Destroy!

Destroy target nonblack creature.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "kill" or "destroy," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Kill! Destroy! from your graveyard to your hand.

Knight of the Kitchen Sink

First strike, protection from watermarks (Nothing with a watermark can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

Bumbling Pangolin

When this creature enters, you may destroy target artifact.

Goblin Haberdasher

Menace (This creature can't be blocked except by two or more creatures.)
Other creatures you control wearing hats in their art have menace.

Who // What // When // Where // Why

Cascading Cataracts

Indestructible
{T}: Add {C}.
{5}, {T}: Add five mana in any combination of colors.

Jack-in-the-Mox

{T}: Roll a six-sided die. This ability has the indicated effect.
1 — Sacrifice Jack-in-the-Mox and you lose 5 life.
2 — Add {W}.
3 — Add {U}.
4 — Add {B}.
5 — Add {R}.
6 — Add {G}.

When Fluffy Bunnies Attack

Target creature gets -X/-X until end of turn, where X is the number of times the letter of your choice appears in that creature's name.

Paper Tiger

Creatures named Rock Lobster can't attack or block.

Vivid Meadow

Vivid Meadow enters tapped with two charge counters on it.
{T}: Add {W}.
{T}, Remove a charge counter from Vivid Meadow: Add one mana of any color.

Pygmy Giant

{R}, {T}, Sacrifice a creature: Pygmy Giant deals X damage to target creature, where X is a number in the sacrificed creature's text box.

Crucible of Worlds

Sword of Dungeons & Dragons

Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has protection from Rogues and from Clerics.
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, create a 4/4 gold Dragon creature token with flying and roll a d20 (a twenty-sided die). If you roll a 20, repeat this process.
Equip {2}

Dirty Rat

When this creature enters, target opponent discards a card.

Bad Ass

Destroy target creature with reminder text. (Reminder text is any italicized text in parentheses that explains rules you already know.)

Curse of the Fire Penguin Creature

Trample
When this creature dies, return Curse of the Fire Penguin to the battlefield.

Curse of the Fire Penguin

Enchant creature
Curse of the Fire Penguin consumes and confuses enchanted creature.

Curse of the Fire Penguin // Curse of the Fire Penguin Creature

Krazy Kow

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. If you a roll a 1, sacrifice Krazy Kow and it deals 3 damage to each creature and each player.

Jund Panorama

{T}: Add {C}.
{1}, {T}, Sacrifice Jund Panorama: Search your library for a basic Swamp, Mountain, or Forest card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Underdome

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to pay Un-costs.

Swamp

Enraged Killbot

Sauté

Mother of Goons

Whenever a creature an opponent controls dies, sacrifice Mother of Goons unless you insult that creature.

Save Life

Choose one —
• Target player gains 2½ life.
• Prevent the next 2½ damage that would be dealt to target creature this turn.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "save" or "life," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Save Life from your graveyard to your hand.

Bosom Buddy

Whenever you cast a spell, you may gain ½ life for each word in that spell's name.

Secret Base

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to cast a spell that shares a watermark with Secret Base.

Box of Free-Range Goblins

Roll a six-sided die. Create a number of 1/1 red Goblin creature tokens equal to the result.

Ancient Ziggurat

{T}: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to cast a creature spell.

GO TO JAIL

When GO TO JAIL enters, exile target creature an opponent controls until GO TO JAIL leaves the battlefield.
At the beginning of the upkeep of the exiled card's owner, that player rolls two six-sided dice. If they roll doubles, sacrifice GO TO JAIL.

Modular Monstrosity

Whenever an opponent casts a spell, you have five seconds to choose a keyword you haven't chosen for a card named Modular Monstrosity today that's been printed on a creature card. If you do, Modular Monstrosity gains that ability. Otherwise, Modular Monstrosity loses all keyword abilities.

Grixis Panorama

{T}: Add {C}.
{1}, {T}, Sacrifice Grixis Panorama: Search your library for a basic Island, Swamp, or Mountain card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Frazzled Editor

Protection from wordy (Something is wordy if it has four or more lines of rules text.)

Den of the Bugbear

If you control two or more other lands, Den of the Bugbear enters tapped.
{T}: Add {R}.
{3}{R}: Until end of turn, Den of the Bugbear becomes a 3/2 red Goblin creature with "Whenever this creature attacks, create a 1/1 red Goblin creature token that's tapped and attacking." It's still a land.

Wordmail

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +1/+1 for each word in its name.

Old Guard

{W}, {T}: Tap target creature without reminder text. (Reminder text is still any italicized text in parentheses that explains rules you already know.)

Serra's Sanctum

{T}: Add {W} for each enchantment you control.

Split Screen

When Split Screen enters, shuffle your library and deal it into four libraries. If anything refers to your library, choose one of your libraries for it.
Play with your libraries' top cards revealed.
When Split Screen leaves the battlefield, shuffle your libraries together.

Inhumaniac

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. On a 3 or 4, put a +1/+1 counter on Inhumaniac. On a 5 or higher, put two +1/+1 counters on it. On a 1, remove all +1/+1 counters from Inhumaniac.

Esper Panorama

{T}: Add {C}.
{1}, {T}, Sacrifice Esper Panorama: Search your library for a basic Plains, Island, or Swamp card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Cabal Stronghold

{T}: Add {C}.
{3}, {T}: Add {B} for each basic Swamp you control.

First Come, First Served

Each attacking or blocking creature with the lowest collector number among attacking or blocking creatures has first strike.

Kabira Crossroads

Kabira Crossroads enters tapped.
When Kabira Crossroads enters, you gain 2 life.
{T}: Add {W}.

Adanto, the First Fort

(Transforms from Legion's Landing.)
{T}: Add {W}.
{2}{W}, {T}: Create a 1/1 white Vampire creature token with lifelink.

Legion's Landing

When Legion's Landing enters, create a 1/1 white Vampire creature token with lifelink.
When you attack with three or more creatures, transform Legion's Landing.

Legion's Landing // Adanto, the First Fort

Scissors Lizard

Creatures named Paper Tiger can't attack or block.

Chicken Egg

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. If you roll a 6, sacrifice Chicken Egg and create a 4/4 red Giant Bird creature token.

Target Minotaur

Prowess (Whenever you cast a noncreature spell, this creature gets +1/+1 until end of turn.)

Naya Panorama

{T}: Add {C}.
{1}, {T}, Sacrifice Naya Panorama: Search your library for a basic Mountain, Forest, or Plains card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Command Tower

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Adorable Kitten

When this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. You gain life equal to the result.

Mountain

Old-Fashioned Vampire

Flying
Old-Fashioned Vampire gets +2/+2 and has deathtouch as long as it's dark outdoors.

Party Crasher

Haste
You can attack with Party Crasher once each combat during each opponent's turn.

Rod of Spanking

{2}, {T}: Rod of Spanking deals 1 damage to target player. Then untap Rod of Spanking unless that player says "Thank you, sir. May I have another?"

Gemstone Mine

Gemstone Mine enters with three mining counters on it.
{T}, Remove a mining counter from Gemstone Mine: Add one mana of any color. If there are no mining counters on Gemstone Mine, sacrifice it.

Baron Von Count

Baron Von Count enters with a doom counter on "5."
Whenever you cast a spell with the indicated numeral in its mana cost, text box, power, or toughness, move the doom counter one numeral to the left.
When the doom counter moves from "1," destroy target player and put that doom counter on "5."

Over My Dead Bodies

Creature cards in graveyards can attack and block as though they were on the battlefield, can block or be blocked only by creature cards in graveyards, are Zombies in addition to their other types, and have undeathtouch. (If they would deal damage to a creature card, exile that creature card instead.)
Creature cards in your graveyard have haste.

Common Iguana

When this creature enters, you may discard a card. If you do, draw a card.

Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil

Flying, first strike, trample
Once each turn, while you're searching your library, you may pay {1}{B}, reveal Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil from your library and say "I'm coming, too!" If you do, Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil deals 2 damage to a player of your choice.

Gnome-Made Engine

When this creature enters, create a 1/1 colorless Gnome artifact creature token.

Warped Landscape

{T}: Add {C}.
{2}, {T}, Sacrifice Warped Landscape: Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Masterful Ninja

Haste
Reveal Masterful Ninja from your hand: Masterful Ninja is on the battlefield and in your hand until end of turn.
{1}{B}: Masterful Ninja gets +1/+1 until end of turn.

The Fallen Apart

The Fallen Apart enters with two arms and two legs.
Whenever damage is dealt to The Fallen Apart, remove an arm or a leg from it.
The Fallen Apart can't attack if it has no legs and can't block if it has no arms.

Forbidden Orchard

{T}: Add one mana of any color.
Whenever you tap Forbidden Orchard for mana, target opponent creates a 1/1 colorless Spirit creature token.