Hornet Nest

Defender (This creature can't attack.)
Whenever Hornet Nest is dealt damage, create that many 1/1 green Insect creature tokens with flying and deathtouch. (Any amount of damage a creature with deathtouch deals to a creature is enough to destroy it.)

Massacre

If an opponent controls a Plains and you control a Swamp, you may cast this spell without paying its mana cost.
All creatures get -2/-2 until end of turn.

Chicken à la King

Whenever a 6 is rolled on a six-sided die, put a +1/+1 counter on each Bird. (You may roll dice only when instructed to.)
Tap an untapped Bird you control: Roll a six-sided die. (Like now.)

Citadel of Pain

At the beginning of each player's end step, Citadel of Pain deals X damage to that player, where X is the number of untapped lands they control.

Divide by Zero

Return target spell or permanent with mana value 1 or greater to its owner's hand.
Learn. (You may reveal a Lesson card you own from outside the game and put it into your hand, or discard a card to draw a card.)

Attempted Murder

Choose target creature. Roll X six-sided dice. For each even result, put two -1/-1 counters on that creature. For each odd result, create a 1/2 blue Bird creature token with flying named Storm Crow.

Nut Collector

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token.
Threshold — Squirrel creatures get +2/+2 as long as seven or more cards are in your graveyard.

Gerrymandering

Exile all lands. Give each player a number of those cards chosen at random equal to the number of those cards the player controlled. Each player returns those cards to the battlefield under their control.

The Big Idea

{2}{B/R}{B/R}, {T}: Roll a six-sided die. Create a number of 1/1 red Brainiac creature tokens equal to the result.
Tap three untapped Brainiacs you control: The next time you would roll a six-sided die, instead roll two six-sided dice and use the total of those results.

Identity Crisis

Exile all cards from target player's hand and graveyard.

Squeeze

Jihad

As Jihad enters the battlefield, choose a color and an opponent.
White creatures get +2/+1 as long as the chosen player controls a nontoken permanent of the chosen color.
When the chosen player controls no nontoken permanents of the chosen color, sacrifice Jihad.

Bumper Cars

Visit — Target creature must be blocked this turn if able.

Rite of Passage

Whenever a creature you control is dealt damage, put a +1/+1 counter on it. (It must survive the damage to get the counter.)

Crusade

Maarika, Brutal Gladiator

Maarika, Brutal Gladiator must be blocked if able.
As long as it's your turn, Maarika has indestructible.
Whenever Maarika deals damage to a creature, if that creature was dealt excess damage this turn, that creature's controller sacrifices a noncreature, nonland permanent.

Exponential Growth

Until end of turn, double target creature's power X times.

Army of the Damned

Create thirteen tapped 2/2 black Zombie creature tokens.
Flashback {7}{B}{B}{B} (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its flashback cost. Then exile it.)

First Day of Class

Whenever a creature enters the battlefield under your control this turn, put a +1/+1 counter on it and it gains haste until end of turn.
Learn. (You may reveal a Lesson card you own from outside the game and put it into your hand, or discard a card to draw a card.)

Resurrection

Return target creature card from your graveyard to the battlefield.

Customs Depot

Whenever you cast a creature spell, you may pay {1}. If you do, draw a card, then discard a card.

Folk Medicine

You gain 1 life for each creature you control.
Flashback {1}{W} (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its flashback cost. Then exile it.)

Déjà Vu

Return target sorcery card from your graveyard to your hand.

Dissatisfied Customer

Flying, haste
When Dissatisfied Customer enters the battlefield, roll a six-sided die. If the result is 3 or less, you lose that much life.

Weight of Conscience

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature can't attack.
Tap two untapped creatures you control that share a creature type: Exile enchanted creature.

Snake Pit

Whenever an opponent casts a blue or black spell, you may create a 1/1 green Snake creature token.

Murderous Betrayal

{B}{B}, Pay half your life, rounded up: Destroy target nonblack creature. It can't be regenerated.

Gelatinous Cube

Engulf — When Gelatinous Cube enters the battlefield, exile target non-Ooze creature an opponent controls until Gelatinous Cube leaves the battlefield.
Dissolve — {X}{B}: Put target creature card with mana value X exiled with Gelatinous Cube into its owner's graveyard.

Pop Quiz

Draw a card.
Learn. (You may reveal a Lesson card you own from outside the game and put it into your hand, or discard a card to draw a card.)

Graphic Violence

All creatures with art by the artist of your choice get +2/+2 and gain trample until end of turn.

Screams of the Damned

{1}{B}, Exile a card from your graveyard: Screams of the Damned deals 1 damage to each creature and each player.

Giant Turtle

Giant Turtle can't attack if it attacked during your last turn.

Gush

You may return two Islands you control to their owner's hand rather than pay this spell's mana cost.
Draw two cards.

Boxing Ring

Whenever a creature enters the battlefield under your control, it fights up to one target creature you don't control with the same mana value.
{T}: Create a Treasure token. Activate only if you control a creature that fought this turn.

Fascist Art Director

{W}{W}: Fascist Art Director gains protection from the artist of your choice until end of turn.

Noxious Vapors

Each player reveals their hand, chooses one card of each color from it, then discards all other nonland cards.

Caustic Tar

Enchant land
Enchanted land has "{T}: Target player loses 3 life."

Get a Life

Target player and each of that player's teammates exchange life totals.

Bloated Toad

Protection from blue
Cycling {2} ({2}, Discard this card: Draw a card.)

Boa Constrictor

{T}: Boa Constrictor gets +3/+3 until end of turn.

Imminent Doom

Imminent Doom enters the battlefield with a doom counter on it.
Whenever you cast a spell with mana value equal to the number of doom counters on Imminent Doom, Imminent Doom deals that much damage to any target. Then put a doom counter on Imminent Doom.

Coercion

Target opponent reveals their hand. You choose a card from it. That player discards that card.

The Hive

{5}, {T}: Create a 1/1 colorless Insect artifact creature token with flying named Wasp. (It can't be blocked except by creatures with flying or reach.)

Bomb Squad

{T}: Put a fuse counter on target creature.
At the beginning of your upkeep, put a fuse counter on each creature with a fuse counter on it.
Whenever a creature has four or more fuse counters on it, remove all fuse counters from it and destroy it. That creature deals 4 damage to its controller.

Common Courtesy

Whenever a player casts a spell without asking your permission while casting it, counter that spell.
When a player asks you permission to cast a spell and you refuse, counter that spell and sacrifice Common Courtesy.

Old Man of the Sea

You may choose not to untap Old Man of the Sea during your untap step.
{T}: Gain control of target creature with power less than or equal to Old Man of the Sea's power for as long as Old Man of the Sea remains tapped and that creature's power remains less than or equal to Old Man of the Sea's power.

Damnation

Destroy all creatures. They can't be regenerated.

Rocket-Powered Turbo Slug

Super haste (This may attack the turn before you cast it. (You may put this card from your hand onto the battlefield tapped and attacking during your declare attackers step. If you do, you lose the game at the beginning of your next turn's end step unless you pay this card's mana cost during that turn.))

Side Quest

Target player in an Un-game you can see from your seat gains control of target creature you control until your next turn. At the beginning of your next upkeep, put two +1/+1 counters on that creature. (A creature is on the battlefield of only the game its controller is playing.)

Sensory Deprivation

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets -3/-0.

Spinning Wheel Kick

Target creature you control deals damage equal to its power to each of X target creatures and/or planeswalkers.

Seizures

Enchant creature
Whenever enchanted creature becomes tapped, Seizures deals 3 damage to that creature's controller unless that player pays {3}.

An Offer You Can't Refuse

Counter target noncreature spell. Its controller creates two Treasure tokens. (They're artifacts with "{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.")

Karma

At the beginning of each player's upkeep, Karma deals damage to that player equal to the number of Swamps they control.

Saw in Half

Destroy target creature. If that creature dies this way, its controller creates two tokens that are copies of that creature, except their base power is half that creature's power and their base toughness is half that creature's toughness. Round up each time.

Farmstead

Enchant land
Enchanted land has "At the beginning of your upkeep, you may pay {W}{W}. If you do, you gain 1 life."

Othelm, Sigardian Outcast

{2}, {T}: Choose target creature card in your graveyard that was put there from the battlefield this turn. Return it to the battlefield tapped.
Friends forever (You can have two commanders if both have friends forever.)

Brain Freeze

Target player mills three cards.
Storm (When you cast this spell, copy it for each spell cast before it this turn. You may choose new targets for the copies.)

Mercenaries

{3}: The next time Mercenaries would deal damage to you this turn, prevent that damage. Any player may activate this ability.

Darkness

Prevent all combat damage that would be dealt this turn.

Cheap Ass

Titanic Growth

Target creature gets +4/+4 until end of turn.

Lich

As Lich enters the battlefield, you lose life equal to your life total.
You don't lose the game for having 0 or less life.
If you would gain life, draw that many cards instead.
Whenever you're dealt damage, sacrifice that many nontoken permanents. If you can't, you lose the game.
When Lich is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, you lose the game.

A Little Chat

Casualty 1 (As you cast this spell, you may sacrifice a creature with power 1 or greater. When you do, copy this spell.)
Look at the top two cards of your library. Put one of them into your hand and the other on the bottom of your library.

Great Unclean One

Reverberating Summons — At the beginning of your end step, each opponent loses 2 life. Then for each opponent who has less life than you, create a 1/3 black Demon creature token named Plaguebearer of Nurgle.

Righteousness

Target blocking creature gets +7/+7 until end of turn.

Defile

Target creature gets -1/-1 until end of turn for each Swamp you control.

Into the Maw of Hell

Destroy target land. Into the Maw of Hell deals 13 damage to target creature.

Cement Shoes

Equipped creature gets +3/+3 and has "At the beginning of your end step, tap this creature."
Equipped creature doesn't untap during its controller's untap step.
Equip {2} ({2}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Heaven's Gate

One or more target creatures become white until end of turn.

Ass Whuppin'

Destroy target silver-bordered or acorn permanent in any game you can see from your seat.

Bribery

Search target opponent's library for a creature card and put that card onto the battlefield under your control. Then that player shuffles.

Evil Twin

You may have Evil Twin enter the battlefield as a copy of any creature on the battlefield, except it has "{U}{B}, {T}: Destroy target creature with the same name as this creature."

Asmodeus the Archfiend

Binding Contract — If you would draw a card, exile the top card of your library face down instead.
{B}{B}{B}: Draw seven cards.
{B}: Return all cards exiled with Asmodeus the Archfiend to their owner's hand and you lose that much life.

Mimic

{T}, Sacrifice Mimic: Add one mana of any color.
{2}: Mimic becomes a Shapeshifter artifact creature with base power and toughness 3/3 until end of turn.

Gluetius Maximus

As Gluetius Maximus enters the battlefield, an opponent chooses one of your fingers. (Thumbs are fingers, too.)
When the chosen finger isn't touching Gluetius Maximus, sacrifice Gluetius Maximus.

Plots That Span Centuries

When you set this scheme in motion, the next time you would set a scheme in motion, set three schemes in motion instead.

Martyrdom

Until end of turn, target creature you control gains "{0}: The next 1 damage that would be dealt to target creature, planeswalker, or player this turn is dealt to this creature instead." Only you may activate this ability.

Bosom Buddy

Whenever you cast a spell, you may gain ½ life for each word in that spell's name.

Bag of Holding

Whenever you discard a card, exile that card from your graveyard.
{2}, {T}: Draw a card, then discard a card.
{4}, {T}, Sacrifice Bag of Holding: Return all cards exiled with Bag of Holding to their owner's hand.

Library of Alexandria

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Draw a card. Activate only if you have exactly seven cards in hand.

Deicide

Exile target enchantment. If the exiled card is a God card, search its controller's graveyard, hand, and library for any number of cards with the same name as that card and exile them. Then that player shuffles.

The Ruinous Powers

At the beginning of your upkeep, choose an opponent at random. Exile the top card of that player's library. Until end of turn, you may play that card and you may spend mana as though it were mana of any color to cast it. When you cast a spell this way, its owner loses life equal to its mana value.

The Abyss

At the beginning of each player's upkeep, destroy target nonartifact creature that player controls of their choice. It can't be regenerated.

The Lost and the Damned

Whenever a land enters the battlefield under your control from anywhere other than your hand or you cast a spell from anywhere other than your hand, create a 3/3 red Spawn creature token.

Ravages of War

Encrust

Enchant artifact or creature
Enchanted permanent doesn't untap during its controller's untap step and its activated abilities can't be activated.

Sinkhole

Blood for the Blood God!

This spell costs {1} less to cast for each creature that died this turn.
Discard your hand, then draw eight cards. Blood for the Blood God! deals 8 damage to each opponent. Exile Blood for the Blood God!

Time Stop

End the turn. (Exile all spells and abilities from the stack, including this card. The player whose turn it is discards down to their maximum hand size. Damage wears off, and "this turn" and "until end of turn" effects end.)

Invasive Species

When Invasive Species enters the battlefield, return another permanent you control to its owner's hand.

Wiretapping

Hideaway 5 (When this enchantment enters the battlefield, look at the top five cards of your library, exile one face down, then put the rest on the bottom in a random order.)
Whenever you draw your first card during each of your draw steps, draw a card. Then if you have nine or more cards in hand, you may play the exiled card without paying its mana cost.

Turbo-Thwacking Auto-Hammer

Whenever you crank Turbo-Thwacking Auto-Hammer, target creature gains double strike until end of turn.

Drench the Soil in Their Blood

When you set this scheme in motion, after this main phase, there is an additional combat phase followed by an additional main phase. Creatures you control gain vigilance until end of turn.

Aggravated Assault

{3}{R}{R}: Untap all creatures you control. After this main phase, there is an additional combat phase followed by an additional main phase. Activate only as a sorcery.

Hornet Cannon

{3}, {T}: Create a 1/1 colorless Insect artifact creature token with flying and haste named Hornet. Destroy it at the beginning of the next end step.

Stab Wound

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets -2/-2.
At the beginning of the upkeep of enchanted creature's controller, that player loses 2 life.

Improvised Weaponry

Improvised Weaponry deals 2 damage to any target. Create a Treasure token. (It's an artifact with "{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.")

Territorial Dispute

At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice Territorial Dispute unless you sacrifice a land.
Players can't play lands.

Giant Fan

{2}, {T}: Move a counter from one permanent onto another. If the second permanent refers to any kind of counter, the moved counter becomes one of those counters. Otherwise, it becomes a +1/+1 counter.

Defy Gravity

Target creature gains flying until end of turn.
Flashback {U} (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its flashback cost. Then exile it.)

Treachery

Enchant creature
When Treachery enters the battlefield, untap up to five lands.
You control enchanted creature.

Quagmire

Creatures with swampwalk can be blocked as though they didn't have swampwalk.