Suppositoryfist
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Commander
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{"ops":[{"insert":"A fun meme deck with no other plan than to get "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Assault Suit"}},{"insert":" attached to the commander, goading him and passing to each opponent on their turn.\n\nWhen I totally buy all these cards and not print them I'll update the deck as I play to try and get it to an actual useable state while keeping the fun meme theme.\n\n\nSeek the Relic "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Assault Suit"}},{"insert":" "},{"attributes":{"header":2},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Beseech the Mirror"}},{"insert":" "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Demonic Tutor"}},{"insert":" "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Grim Tutor"}},{"insert":" "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Imperial Seal"}},{"insert":" "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Vampiric Tutor"}},{"insert":" \n\nPlace the Relic upon the Host "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Maarika, Brutal Gladiator"}},{"insert":" "},{"attributes":{"header":2},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"\nProtect the Relic & Host at all costs"},{"attributes":{"header":2},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Champion's Helm"}},{"insert":" "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Dragonfire Blade"}},{"insert":" "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Hammer of Nazahn"}},{"insert":" "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Heroic Intervention"}},{"insert":" "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Hexing Squelcher"}},{"insert":" "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Kaya's Ghostform"}},{"insert":" "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Mithril Coat"}},{"insert":" "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Swiftfoot Boots"}},{"insert":" "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Tamiyo's Safekeeping"}},{"insert":" "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Thran Power Suit"}},{"insert":" \n\nRelic Rewards Us"},{"attributes":{"header":2},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Parasitic Impetus"}},{"insert":" - Goaded, Host attack hurt controller for 2 heal you for 2\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Shiny Impetus"}},{"insert":" - Goaded, Host attack you make a treasure\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Wand of Orcus"}},{"insert":" - Host deals combat damage to a player you create a 2/2 zombie per damage done\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Infiltration Lens"}},{"insert":" - Zangeif becomes blocked you may draw two cards\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Tergrid, God of Fright // Tergrid's Lantern"}},{"insert":" - When Zangief forces sac each turn with assault suit granted there is something to sac you put the card onto your side of the field. \n\nEmpower the Host"},{"attributes":{"header":2},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Basilisk Collar"}},{"insert":" - Lifelink & Deathtouch with Zangief being one of your only creatures lifelink will help sustain a little.\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Nemesis Mask"}},{"insert":" - Forces all creatures able to block Zangief to block.\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Power Fist"}},{"insert":" - Trample, get +1+1 counter per combat damage dealt to player.\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Strong Back"}},{"insert":" - Reduces equip cost for equipment and aura spells when going onto enchanted creature (Zangief)\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"The Sound of Drums"}},{"insert":" - Goads, Doubles combat damage Zangief does\n\nThey kill Relic you retrieve"},{"attributes":{"header":2},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Bala Ged Recovery // Bala Ged Sanctuary"}},{"insert":{"card-link":"Buried Ruin"}},{"insert":" "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Eternal Witness"}},{"insert":" "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Glissa, the Traitor"}},{"insert":" "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Goblin Welder"}},{"insert":" "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Junk Diver"}},{"insert":" "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Myr Retriever"}},{"insert":" "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Recollect"}},{"insert":" "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Regrowth"}},{"insert":" "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Skullwinder"}},{"insert":" "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Trash for Treasure"}},{"insert":" \n\n\n\n\n\n\n"}]}
Commander
Maarika, Brutal Gladiator
Maarika, Brutal Gladiator must be blocked if able.
As long as it's your turn, Maarika has indestructible.
Whenever Maarika deals damage to a creature, if that creature was dealt excess damage this turn, that creature's controller sacrifices a noncreature, nonland permanent.
As long as it's your turn, Maarika has indestructible.
Whenever Maarika deals damage to a creature, if that creature was dealt excess damage this turn, that creature's controller sacrifices a noncreature, nonland permanent.
Legendary Creature - Human Warrior
Commander
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Buff The Host
Basilisk Collar
Equipped creature has deathtouch and lifelink. (Any amount of damage it deals to a creature is enough to destroy it. Damage dealt by this creature also causes you to gain that much life.)
Equip (: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)
Equip (: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)
Artifact - Equipment
Buff The Host
(CTRL to add secondary)
Draw
Draw
(CTRL to add secondary)
Land
Land
(CTRL to add secondary)
Protect The Host
Swiftfoot Boots
Equipped creature has hexproof and haste. (It can't be the target of spells or abilities your opponents control. It can attack and no matter when it came under your control.)
Equip (: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)
Equip (: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)
Artifact - Equipment
Tamiyo's Safekeeping
Target permanent you control gains hexproof and indestructible until end of turn. You gain 2 life. (A permanent with hexproof and indestructible can't be the target of spells or abilities your opponents control. Damage and effects that say "destroy" don't destroy it.)
Instant
Thran Power Suit
Equipped creature gets +1/+1 for each Aura and Equipment attached to it and has ward . (Whenever equipped creature becomes the target of a spell or ability an opponent controls, counter it unless that player pays .)
Equip (: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)
Equip (: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)
Artifact - Equipment
Protect The Host
(CTRL to add secondary)
Ramp
Fanatic of Rhonas
: Add .
Ferocious — : Add . Activate only if you control a creature with power 4 or greater.
Eternalize (, Exile this card from your graveyard: Create a token that's a copy of it, except it's a 4/4 black Zombie Snake Druid with no mana cost. Eternalize only as a sorcery.)
Ferocious — : Add . Activate only if you control a creature with power 4 or greater.
Eternalize (, Exile this card from your graveyard: Create a token that's a copy of it, except it's a 4/4 black Zombie Snake Druid with no mana cost. Eternalize only as a sorcery.)
Creature - Druid Snake
Vraska, the Silencer
Deathtouch
Whenever a nontoken creature an opponent controls dies, you may pay . If you do, return that card to the battlefield tapped under your control. It's a Treasure artifact with ", Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color," and it loses all other card types.
Whenever a nontoken creature an opponent controls dies, you may pay . If you do, return that card to the battlefield tapped under your control. It's a Treasure artifact with ", Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color," and it loses all other card types.
Legendary Creature - Assassin Gorgon
Ramp
(CTRL to add secondary)
Relic Rewards Us
Shiny Impetus
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +2/+2 and is goaded. (It attacks each combat if able and attacks a player other than you if able.)
Whenever enchanted creature attacks, you create a Treasure token. (It's an artifact with ", Sacrifice this token: Add one mana of any color.")
Enchanted creature gets +2/+2 and is goaded. (It attacks each combat if able and attacks a player other than you if able.)
Whenever enchanted creature attacks, you create a Treasure token. (It's an artifact with ", Sacrifice this token: Add one mana of any color.")
Enchantment - Aura
Relic Rewards Us
(CTRL to add secondary)
Return The Relic
Goblin Welder
: Choose target artifact a player controls and target artifact card in that player's graveyard. If both targets are still legal as this ability resolves, that player simultaneously sacrifices the artifact and returns the artifact card to the battlefield.
Creature - Goblin Artificer
Return The Relic
(CTRL to add secondary)
Seek The Relic
Beseech the Mirror
Bargain (You may sacrifice an artifact, enchantment, or token as you cast this spell.)
Search your library for a card, exile it face down, then shuffle. If this spell was bargained, you may cast the exiled card without paying its mana cost if that spell's mana value is 4 or less. Put the exiled card into your hand if it wasn't cast this way.
Search your library for a card, exile it face down, then shuffle. If this spell was bargained, you may cast the exiled card without paying its mana cost if that spell's mana value is 4 or less. Put the exiled card into your hand if it wasn't cast this way.
Sorcery
Seek The Relic
(CTRL to add secondary)
THE RELIC
Assault Suit
Equipped creature gets +2/+2, has haste, can't attack you or planeswalkers you control, and can't be sacrificed.
At the beginning of each opponent's upkeep, you may have that player gain control of equipped creature until end of turn. If you do, untap it.
Equip
At the beginning of each opponent's upkeep, you may have that player gain control of equipped creature until end of turn. If you do, untap it.
Equip
Artifact - Equipment
THE RELIC
(CTRL to add secondary)
Deck Info
Deck stats
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Deck extras (0)
Description
{"ops":[{"insert":"A fun meme deck with no other plan than to get "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Assault Suit"}},{"insert":" attached to the commander, goading him and passing to each opponent on their turn.\n\nWhen I totally buy all these cards and not print them I'll update the deck as I play to try and get it to an actual useable state while keeping the fun meme theme.\n\n\nSeek the Relic "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Assault Suit"}},{"insert":" "},{"attributes":{"header":2},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Beseech the Mirror"}},{"insert":" "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Demonic Tutor"}},{"insert":" "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Grim Tutor"}},{"insert":" "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Imperial Seal"}},{"insert":" "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Vampiric Tutor"}},{"insert":" \n\nPlace the Relic upon the Host "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Maarika, Brutal Gladiator"}},{"insert":" "},{"attributes":{"header":2},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"\nProtect the Relic & Host at all costs"},{"attributes":{"header":2},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Champion's Helm"}},{"insert":" "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Dragonfire Blade"}},{"insert":" "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Hammer of Nazahn"}},{"insert":" "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Heroic Intervention"}},{"insert":" "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Hexing Squelcher"}},{"insert":" "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Kaya's Ghostform"}},{"insert":" "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Mithril Coat"}},{"insert":" "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Swiftfoot Boots"}},{"insert":" "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Tamiyo's Safekeeping"}},{"insert":" "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Thran Power Suit"}},{"insert":" \n\nRelic Rewards Us"},{"attributes":{"header":2},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Parasitic Impetus"}},{"insert":" - Goaded, Host attack hurt controller for 2 heal you for 2\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Shiny Impetus"}},{"insert":" - Goaded, Host attack you make a treasure\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Wand of Orcus"}},{"insert":" - Host deals combat damage to a player you create a 2/2 zombie per damage done\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Infiltration Lens"}},{"insert":" - Zangeif becomes blocked you may draw two cards\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Tergrid, God of Fright // Tergrid's Lantern"}},{"insert":" - When Zangief forces sac each turn with assault suit granted there is something to sac you put the card onto your side of the field. \n\nEmpower the Host"},{"attributes":{"header":2},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Basilisk Collar"}},{"insert":" - Lifelink & Deathtouch with Zangief being one of your only creatures lifelink will help sustain a little.\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Nemesis Mask"}},{"insert":" - Forces all creatures able to block Zangief to block.\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Power Fist"}},{"insert":" - Trample, get +1+1 counter per combat damage dealt to player.\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Strong Back"}},{"insert":" - Reduces equip cost for equipment and aura spells when going onto enchanted creature (Zangief)\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"The Sound of Drums"}},{"insert":" - Goads, Doubles combat damage Zangief does\n\nThey kill Relic you retrieve"},{"attributes":{"header":2},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Bala Ged Recovery // Bala Ged Sanctuary"}},{"insert":{"card-link":"Buried Ruin"}},{"insert":" "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Eternal Witness"}},{"insert":" "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Glissa, the Traitor"}},{"insert":" "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Goblin Welder"}},{"insert":" "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Junk Diver"}},{"insert":" "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Myr Retriever"}},{"insert":" "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Recollect"}},{"insert":" "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Regrowth"}},{"insert":" "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Skullwinder"}},{"insert":" "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Trash for Treasure"}},{"insert":" \n\n\n\n\n\n\n"}]}