{"ops":[{"insert":"What happens when a 2005-era CEO (a.k.a commander) is forced to run a modern company?\nWelcome to "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Shizo Industries"},{"insert":", a haunted corporation staffed entirely by employees hired after Shirei's original hire as CEO and Caretaker. Every creature, artifact and enchantment in the deck was first printed after February 2005, creating a strange collision between one of Commander's oldest legends and nearly twenty years of creature design that never existed when he was printed.\nThe result is a dysfunctional workplace where employee turnover isn't a problem—IT'S THE BUSINESS MODEL!!!!!\nShirei serves as the company's immortal CEO, ensuring that workers who leave the organization are quietly rehired at the end of every day (turn). Employees burn out, file complaints, generate revenue, get terminated, and somehow show up for work again the next day.\n\nOur Motto: At Shizo Industries, we are committed to employee burnout, unprofessional development and unsustainable workforce mis-management. Burnout is expected, re-employment is MANDATORY. Welcome to the last job you'll ever have... for the rest of your unnatural afterlife. \n\nCorporate Structure"},{"attributes":{"header":2},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Human Resources"},{"attributes":{"header":3},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"HR handles recruitment, onboarding, retention, and resurrection.\nCards like "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Body Launderer"},{"insert":", "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Activated Sleeper"},{"insert":", "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Forsaken Miner"},{"insert":", "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Persistent Specimen"},{"insert":", and "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Reassembling Skeleton"},{"insert":" ensure that no employee ever truly leaves the company. Exit interviews are treated as temporary administrative paperwork.\n\nAccounting"},{"attributes":{"header":3},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Accounting converts labor into profit.\n"},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Warren Soultrader"},{"insert":" serves as Chief Financial Officer, assisted by "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Greedy Freebooter"},{"insert":", "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Shambling Ghast"},{"insert":", "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Carrier Thrall"},{"insert":", "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Nested Shambler"},{"insert":", and "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Weaponcraft Enthusiast"},{"insert":". The department specializes in turning employee departures into company assets while maintaining favorable quarterly reports regardless of staff mortality rates.\n\nLegal"},{"attributes":{"header":3},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Nobody enjoys dealing with Legal.\n"},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Burglar Rat"},{"insert":", "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Virus Beetle"},{"insert":", "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Elderfang Disciple"},{"insert":", "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Brain Weevil"},{"insert":", and "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Nezumi Informant"},{"insert":" ensure that every interaction results in lost resources, additional paperwork, and general dissatisfaction.\n\nOperations"},{"attributes":{"header":3},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Operations keeps the company running.\n"},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Viscera Seer"},{"insert":", "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Dockside Chef"},{"insert":", "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Priest of Forgotten Gods"},{"insert":", "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Grim Haruspex"},{"insert":", "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Midnight Reaper"},{"insert":", and "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Morbid Opportunist"},{"insert":" manage workflow, process employee departures, and convert organizational chaos into useful reports and data.\n\nUnWellness & Morale"},{"attributes":{"header":3},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"This department takes the joke \"The beatings will continue until morale improves.\" and runs with it.\nUsing cards like "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Yawgmoth, Thran Physician"},{"insert":", "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Corrosive Mentor"},{"insert":", "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Festering Mummy"},{"insert":", "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Fume Spitter"},{"insert":", "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Soul Snuffers"},{"insert":", "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Black Sun's Zenith"},{"insert":", and "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Grim Affliction"},{"insert":", the department distributes stress, burnout, and performance reviews in the form of -1/-1 counters.\nEmployees such as "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Moonshadow"},{"insert":" and "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Gnarlbark Elm"},{"insert":" serve as ongoing case studies in workplace exhaustion.\nIronically, employee burnout has become one of the company's most productive resources.\n\nDesign Goals"},{"attributes":{"header":2},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"This deck was built around three restrictions:\n"},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"The commander must have been originally printed in 2010 or earlier."},{"attributes":{"list":"ordered"},"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Every creature in the deck must have been first printed after Shirei's original release in February 2005."},{"attributes":{"list":"ordered"},"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"The deck should showcase mechanics and creature designs that Shirei never had access to when he was originally printed."},{"attributes":{"list":"ordered"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"\nRather than building a traditional Shirei aristocrats list, this deck explores what happens when a classic commander is surrounded entirely by modern hires, modern recursion, modern sacrifice engines, and modern -1/-1 counter interactions.\n"}]}