By Gnome Means

{1}{W}, Remove a counter from a permanent you control: Create a 1/1 colorless Gnome artifact creature token.
{1}{W}, Sacrifice an artifact: Choose any kind of counter a printed card refers to, then put one of that counter on target permanent.

Midnight Clock

{T}: Add {U}.
{2}{U}: Put an hour counter on Midnight Clock.
At the beginning of each upkeep, put an hour counter on Midnight Clock.
When the twelfth hour counter is put on Midnight Clock, shuffle your hand and graveyard into your library, then draw seven cards. Exile Midnight Clock.

Foundry Inspector

Artifact spells you cast cost {1} less to cast.

Mana Screw

{1}: Flip a coin. If you win the flip, add {C}{C}. Activate only as an instant.

Border Guardian

Whenever you cast a silver-bordered spell, put a +1/+1 counter on Border Guardian.
Whenever you cast a black-bordered spell, Border Guardian can't be blocked this turn.
Whenever you cast a white-bordered spell, Border Guardian gains double strike until end of turn.

Temple of the False God

{T}: Add {C}{C}. Activate only if you control five or more lands.

Mind Stone

{T}: Add {C}.
{1}, {T}, Sacrifice Mind Stone: Draw a card.

Letter Bomb

When Letter Bomb enters, sign it and shuffle it into target player's library. That player reveals each card they draw until they draw Letter Bomb. When that player draws Letter Bomb, it deals 19½ damage to them.

One with the Machine

Draw cards equal to the highest mana value among artifacts you control.

Underdome

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to pay Un-costs.

Topsy Turvy

The phases of each player's turn are reversed. (The phases are, in reverse order, ending, second main, combat, first main, and beginning.)
As long as there are more than two players in the game, the turn order is reversed.

Open the Vaults

Return all artifact and enchantment cards from all graveyards to the battlefield under their owners' control. (Auras with nothing to enchant remain in graveyards.)

March of the Machines

Each noncreature artifact is an artifact creature with power and toughness each equal to its mana value. (Equipment that's a creature can't equip a creature.)

Rules Lawyer

State-based actions don't apply to you or other permanents you control. (You don't lose the game due to having 0 or less life or drawing from an empty library. Your creatures aren't destroyed due to damage or deathtouch and aren't put into a graveyard due to having 0 or less toughness. Your planeswalkers aren't put into a graveyard if they have 0 loyalty. You don't put a legendary permanent into a graveyard if you control two with the same name. Counters aren't removed from your permanents due to game rules. Permanents you control attached or combined illegally remain on the battlefield. For complete rules and regulations, see rule 704.)

Hot Fix

You have ten seconds to look at and rearrange the cards in your library. At the end of those ten seconds, if you're touching one or more of those cards, shuffle.

Port Town

As Port Town enters, you may reveal a Plains or Island card from your hand. If you don't, Port Town enters tapped.
{T}: Add {W} or {U}.

Handy Dandy Clone Machine

{2}, {T}: Create a 2/2 colorless Homunculus creature token. It must be represented by a unique hand and two fingers at all times, or it ceases to exist.

Mystic Sanctuary

({T}: Add {U}.)
Mystic Sanctuary enters tapped unless you control three or more other Islands.
When Mystic Sanctuary enters untapped, you may put target instant or sorcery card from your graveyard on top of your library.

Sharding Sphinx

Flying
Whenever an artifact creature you control deals combat damage to a player, you may create a 1/1 blue Thopter artifact creature token with flying.

Thirst for Knowledge

Draw three cards. Then discard two cards unless you discard an artifact card.

Water Gun Balloon Game

As Water Gun Balloon Game enters, each player puts a pop! counter on "0."
Whenever a player casts a spell, move that player's pop! counter up one.
Whenever a player's pop! counter hits "5," that player creates a 5/5 pink Giant Teddy Bear creature token and resets all pop! counters to "0."

Cataclysmic Gearhulk

Vigilance
When Cataclysmic Gearhulk enters, each player chooses an artifact, a creature, an enchantment, and a planeswalker from among the nonland permanents they control, then sacrifices the rest.

Bureaucracy

Pursuant to subsection 3.1(4) of Richard's Rules of Order, at the beginning of the upkeep of each participant in this game of the Magic: The Gathering® trading card game (hereafter known as "PLAYER"), that PLAYER performs all actions in the sequence of previously added actions (hereafter known as "ACTION QUEUE"), in the order those actions were added, then adds another action to the end of the ACTION QUEUE. All actions must be simple physical or verbal actions that a player can perform while sitting in a chair, without jeopardizing the health and security of said PLAYER.
When any PLAYER does not perform all the prescribed actions in the correct order, sacrifice Bureaucracy and said PLAYER discards their complement of cards in hand (hereafter known as "HAND").

Assembled Ensemble

Vigilance
Assembled Ensemble's power is equal to the number of Robots you control.
Whenever you cast a spell with an artifact creature in its art, create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token.

Telepathy

Your opponents play with their hands revealed.

Phyrexia's Core

{T}: Add {C}.
{1}, {T}, Sacrifice an artifact: You gain 1 life.

Meddling Kids

As Meddling Kids enters, choose a word with four or more letters.
Spells with the chosen word in their text box can't be cast.

Exotic Orchard

{T}: Add one mana of any color that a land an opponent controls could produce.

Razortide Bridge

Razortide Bridge enters tapped.
Indestructible
{T}: Add {W} or {U}.

Everflowing Chalice

Multikicker {2} (You may pay an additional {2} any number of times as you cast this spell.)
Everflowing Chalice enters with a charge counter on it for each time it was kicked.
{T}: Add {C} for each charge counter on Everflowing Chalice.

Scavenger Grounds

{T}: Add {C}.
{2}, {T}, Sacrifice a Desert: Exile all graveyards.

Kwain, Itinerant Meddler

{T}: Each player may draw a card, then each player who drew a card this way gains 1 life.

Island

Look at Me, I'm the DCI

Ban a card other than a basic land card for the rest of the match. (All cards with that name in any zone or sideboard are removed from the match.)

Kindslaver

{5}, {T}, Sacrifice Kindslaver: A person outside the game controls target player during that player's next turn. Neither player may advise that person until the end of that turn.

Arcanist's Owl

Flying
When Arcanist's Owl enters, look at the top four cards of your library. You may reveal an artifact or enchantment card from among them and put it into your hand. Put the rest on the bottom of your library in a random order.

Rise and Shine

Target noncreature artifact you control becomes a 0/0 artifact creature. Put four +1/+1 counters on each artifact that became a creature this way.
Overload {4}{U}{U} (You may cast this spell for its overload cost. If you do, change "target" in its text to "each.")

Evolving Wilds

{T}, Sacrifice this land: Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Ambiguity

Whenever a player plays a spell that counters a spell that has been played or a player plays a spell that comes into play with counters, that player may counter the next spell played or put an additional counter on a permanent that has already been played, but not countered.

Buried Ruin

{T}: Add {C}.
{2}, {T}, Sacrifice Buried Ruin: Return target artifact card from your graveyard to your hand.

Censorship

As Censorship enters, choose a word.
Whenever a player says the chosen word, Censorship deals 2 damage to that player.

Cheatyface

If Cheatyface is in your hand, you may sneak Cheatyface onto the battlefield. If an opponent catches you right away, that player may exile Cheatyface.
Flying

Prairie Stream

({T}: Add {W} or {U}.)
Prairie Stream enters tapped unless you control two or more basic lands.

Fact or Fiction

Reveal the top five cards of your library. An opponent separates those cards into two piles. Put one pile into your hand and the other into your graveyard.

Ancient Den

Steel Hellkite

Flying
{2}: This creature gets +1/+0 until end of turn.
{X}: Destroy each nonland permanent with mana value X whose controller was dealt combat damage by this creature this turn. Activate only once each turn.

Digsite Engineer

Whenever you cast an artifact spell, you may pay {2}. If you do, create a 0/0 colorless Construct artifact creature token with "This creature gets +1/+1 for each artifact you control."

Split Screen

When Split Screen enters, shuffle your library and deal it into four libraries. If anything refers to your library, choose one of your libraries for it.
Play with your libraries' top cards revealed.
When Split Screen leaves the battlefield, shuffle your libraries together.

Gleemax

You choose all targets for all spells and abilities.

Arcane Denial

Counter target spell. Its controller may draw up to two cards at the beginning of the next turn's upkeep.
You draw a card at the beginning of the next turn's upkeep.

Thought Monitor

Affinity for artifacts (This spell costs {1} less to cast for each artifact you control.)
Flying
When Thought Monitor enters, draw two cards.

Ornithopter of Paradise

Everythingamajig

{1}: Flip a coin. If you win the flip, add {C}{C}. Activate only as an instant.
{3}, {T}: Target player discards a card. Activate only during your turn.
{X}: Everythingamajig becomes an X/X Construct artifact creature until end of turn.

Frankie Peanuts

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may ask target player a yes-or-no question. If you do, that player answers the question truthfully and abides by that answer if able until end of turn.

Duplicant

Imprint — When Duplicant enters, you may exile target nontoken creature.
As long as a card exiled with Duplicant is a creature card, Duplicant has the power, toughness, and creature types of the last creature card exiled with Duplicant. It's still a Shapeshifter.

Riddlesmith

Whenever you cast an artifact spell, you may draw a card. If you do, discard a card.

Clocknapper

When Clocknapper enters, choose beginning phase, first main phase, combat phase, postcombat main phase, or ending phase. Steal that phase from target player during their next turn. (That phase occurs as though it's your turn instead.)

Dispatch

Tap target creature.
Metalcraft — If you control three or more artifacts, exile that creature.

Seat of the Synod

Etherium Sculptor

Thought Vessel

You have no maximum hand size.
{T}: Add {C}.

Blurry Beeble

Blurry (This creature can be blocked only if defending player was wearing glasses as it was cast.)
Whenever Blurry Beeble deals combat damage to a player, you may draw a card. If you do, discard a card.

The Grand Calcutron

The Grand Calcutron can be your commander.
When The Grand Calcutron enters, each player's hand becomes a program (an ordered row of revealed cards).
Players can only play the first card of their program.
If a card would be put into a player's hand from anywhere, that player reveals it and places it anywhere within their program instead.
At the beginning of each player's end step, if that player's program has fewer than five cards, they draw cards equal to the difference.

Nimbus Maze

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {W}. Activate only if you control an Island.
{T}: Add {U}. Activate only if you control a Plains.

Azorius Signet

Plains

Master Transmuter

{U}, {T}, Return an artifact you control to its owner's hand: You may put an artifact card from your hand onto the battlefield.

Time Wipe

Return a creature you control to its owner's hand, then destroy all creatures.

AWOL

Exile target attacking creature. Then remove it from the game. Then put it into the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game-forever zone.

Flavor Judge

{T}: Choose target spell or ability that targets a permanent you control. Then ask a person outside the game if the story of what will happen makes sense. If they say no, sacrifice Flavor Judge and counter that spell or ability.

Hanna, Ship's Navigator

{1}{W}{U}, {T}: Return target artifact or enchantment card from your graveyard to your hand.

Darksteel Citadel

Oddly Uneven

Choose one —
• Destroy each creature with an odd number of words in its name. (Hyphenated words are one word.)
• Destroy each creature with an even number of words in its name.

Pointy Finger of Doom

{3}, {T}: Spin Pointy Finger of Doom in the middle of the table so that it rotates completely at least once, then destroy the closest permanent the finger points to.

Burnished Hart

{3}, Sacrifice this creature: Search your library for up to two basic land cards, put them onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Do-It-Yourself Seraph

Flying
Whenever Do-It-Yourself Seraph attacks, you may search your library for an artifact card, exile it, then shuffle.
Do-It-Yourself Seraph has the text box of each card exiled with Do-It-Yourself Seraph in addition to its own.

Resculpt

Exile target artifact or creature. Its controller creates a 4/4 blue and red Elemental creature token.

Mirrorworks

Whenever another nontoken artifact you control enters, you may pay {2}. If you do, create a token that's a copy of that artifact.

Skycloud Expanse

Entirely Normal Armchair

During your turn, if Entirely Normal Armchair is in your hand, you may hide it on the battlefield.
{0}: Return Entirely Normal Armchair to its owner's hand. Only your opponents may activate this ability and only if they see Entirely Normal Armchair.
{2}, Sacrifice Entirely Normal Armchair: Destroy target attacking creature.