Really Epic Punch

Target creature you control gets +2/+2 if it's a host or has augment. Then it fights target creature you don't control.

Shellephant

{0}: Choose one. You may activate this ability while Shellephant is in any zone.
• Shellephant has base power and toughness 1/4.
• Shellephant has base power and toughness 3/3.

Entirely Normal Armchair

During your turn, if Entirely Normal Armchair is in your hand, you may hide it on the battlefield.
{0}: Return Entirely Normal Armchair to its owner's hand. Only your opponents may activate this ability and only if they see Entirely Normal Armchair.
{2}, Sacrifice Entirely Normal Armchair: Destroy target attacking creature.

Robo-

At the beginning of each end step, if an artifact entered the battlefield under your control this turn,
Augment {2} ({2}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Success!

Target creature gets +2/+2 until end of turn. If it's a host or has augment, it gains lifelink until end of turn.

Staff of the Letter Magus

As Staff of the Letter Magus enters, choose a consonant other than N, R, S, or T.
Whenever a player casts a spell, you gain 1 life for each time the chosen letter appears in that spell's name.

Rhino-

Whenever this creature blocks,
Augment {3}{W} ({3}{W}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Dr. Julius Jumblemorph

Dr. Julius Jumblemorph is every creature type (even if this card isn't on the battlefield).
Whenever a host you control enters, you may search your library and/or graveyard for a card with augment and combine it with that host. If you search your library this way, shuffle.

Angelic Rocket

Flying
When this creature enters, you may destroy target nonland permanent.

Old Guard

{W}, {T}: Tap target creature without reminder text. (Reminder text is still any italicized text in parentheses that explains rules you already know.)

Teacher's Pet

{2}{W}, Sacrifice Teacher's Pet: Search your library for a card with augment, combine it with target host you control, then shuffle.

Mother Kangaroo

When this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. Put a number of +1/+1 counters on this creature equal to the result.

Sword of Dungeons & Dragons

Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has protection from Rogues and from Clerics.
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, create a 4/4 gold Dragon creature token with flying and roll a d20 (a twenty-sided die). If you roll a 20, repeat this process.
Equip {2}

Shaggy Camel

When this creature enters, creatures you control get +1/+1 until end of turn.

Earl of Squirrel

Squirrellink (Damage dealt by this creature also causes you to create that many 1/1 green Squirrel creature tokens.)
Creature tokens you control are Squirrels in addition to their other creature types.
Other Squirrels you control get +1/+1.

Amateur Auteur

Sacrifice Amateur Auteur: Destroy target enchantment.

Selfie Preservation

Search your library for a basic land card and reveal it. If there's a tree in its art, put it onto the battlefield tapped. Otherwise, put it into your hand. Then shuffle.

Border Guardian

Whenever you cast a silver-bordered spell, put a +1/+1 counter on Border Guardian.
Whenever you cast a black-bordered spell, Border Guardian can't be blocked this turn.
Whenever you cast a white-bordered spell, Border Guardian gains double strike until end of turn.

Rules Lawyer

State-based actions don't apply to you or other permanents you control. (You don't lose the game due to having 0 or less life or drawing from an empty library. Your creatures aren't destroyed due to damage or deathtouch and aren't put into a graveyard due to having 0 or less toughness. Your planeswalkers aren't put into a graveyard if they have 0 loyalty. You don't put a legendary permanent into a graveyard if you control two with the same name. Counters aren't removed from your permanents due to game rules. Permanents you control attached or combined illegally remain on the battlefield. For complete rules and regulations, see rule 704.)

GO TO JAIL

When GO TO JAIL enters, exile target creature an opponent controls until GO TO JAIL leaves the battlefield.
At the beginning of the upkeep of the exiled card's owner, that player rolls two six-sided dice. If they roll doubles, sacrifice GO TO JAIL.

Beast in Show

Serpentine

Landfall — Whenever a land you control enters,
Augment {2}{G} ({2}{G}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Do-It-Yourself Seraph

Flying
Whenever Do-It-Yourself Seraph attacks, you may search your library for an artifact card, exile it, then shuffle.
Do-It-Yourself Seraph has the text box of each card exiled with Do-It-Yourself Seraph in addition to its own.

Willing Test Subject

Reach
Whenever you roll a 4 or higher on a die, put a +1/+1 counter on Willing Test Subject.
{6}: Roll a six-sided die.

Split Screen

When Split Screen enters, shuffle your library and deal it into four libraries. If anything refers to your library, choose one of your libraries for it.
Play with your libraries' top cards revealed.
When Split Screen leaves the battlefield, shuffle your libraries together.

Half-Kitten, Half-

Whenever you're dealt damage,
Augment {2}{W} ({2}{W}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Plains

Wild Crocodile

When this creature enters, search your library for a basic land card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Voracious Vacuum

When this creature enters, put a +1/+1 counter on target creature.

Curious Killbot

Steel Squirrel

Whenever you roll a 5 or higher on a die, Steel Squirrel gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the result.
{6}: Roll a six-sided die.

By Gnome Means

{1}{W}, Remove a counter from a permanent you control: Create a 1/1 colorless Gnome artifact creature token.
{1}{W}, Sacrifice an artifact: Choose any kind of counter a printed card refers to, then put one of that counter on target permanent.

Slaying Mantis

Just a second (As long as this spell is on the stack, players can't move permanents.)
Slaying Mantis enters by being thrown from a distance of at least three feet.
When Slaying Mantis enters, it fights each creature an opponent controls that it touched as it entered.

Lobe Lobber

Equipped creature has "{T}: This creature deals 1 damage to target player or planeswalker. Roll a six-sided die. On a 5 or higher, untap it."
Equip {2}

Chittering Doom

Whenever you roll a 4 or higher on a die, create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token.

Ground Pounder

{3}{G}: Roll a six-sided die. Ground Pounder gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the result.
Whenever you roll a 5 or higher on a die, Ground Pounder gains trample until end of turn.

Buzzing Whack-a-Doodle

As Buzzing Whack-a-Doodle enters, you and an opponent each secretly choose Whack or Doodle. Then those choices are revealed. If the choices match, Buzzing Whack-a-Doodle has that ability. Otherwise, it has Buzz.
• Whack — {T}: Target player loses 2 life.
• Doodle — {T}: You gain 3 life.
• Buzz — {2}, {T}: Draw a card.

Eager Beaver

When this creature enters, you may untap target permanent.

Chivalrous Chevalier

Flying
When Chivalrous Chevalier enters, return a creature you control to its owner's hand unless you compliment an opponent.

Mad Science Fair Project

{T}: Roll a six-sided die. On a 3 or lower, target player adds {C}. Otherwise, that player adds one mana of any color they choose.

Modular Monstrosity

Whenever an opponent casts a spell, you have five seconds to choose a keyword you haven't chosen for a card named Modular Monstrosity today that's been printed on a creature card. If you do, Modular Monstrosity gains that ability. Otherwise, Modular Monstrosity loses all keyword abilities.

Proper Laboratory Attire

Equipped creature gets +2/+1 and has protection from die rolls. (Nothing that lets a player roll a die can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to equipped creature.)
Equip {2}

Druid of the Sacred Beaker

{T}: Add {G} for each Crossbreed Labs watermark among permanents you control.

As Luck Would Have It

Hexproof
Whenever you roll a die, put a number of luck counters on As Luck Would Have It equal to the result. Then if there are 100 or more luck counters on As Luck Would Have It, you win the game. (Count both rolls if you reroll a die.)

Everythingamajig

{2}, {T}: Move a counter from one permanent onto another. If the second permanent refers to any kind of counter, the moved counter becomes one of those counters. Otherwise, it becomes a +1/+1 counter.
{3}, {T}: Put a +1/+1 counter on target creature.
{4}, {T}: Proliferate. (Choose any number of permanents and/or players, then give each another counter of each kind already there.)

Watermarket

{T}: Add {C}{C}. Spend this mana only to cast spells with watermarks.

Gimme Five

You gain 1 life for each person who high-fives you in the next thirty seconds. Each player in an Un-game who high-fives you gains 1 life. (Offer high fives. Don't hit people.)

Stamp of Approval

As Stamp of Approval enters, choose a watermark.
Creatures you control with the chosen watermark get +1/+1.

Hydradoodle

As Hydradoodle enters, roll X six-sided dice. Hydradoodle enters with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the total of those results.
Reach, trample

Krark's Other Thumb

If you would roll a die, instead roll two of those dice and ignore one of those results.

Labro Bot

When this creature enters, return target host card or card with augment from your graveyard to your hand.

Clever Combo

Search your library for a host card or a card with augment, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Ordinary Pony

When this creature enters, you may exile target non-Horse creature you control that wasn't put onto the battlefield with this ability this turn, then return it to the battlefield under its owner's control.

Oddly Uneven

Choose one —
• Destroy each creature with an odd number of words in its name. (Hyphenated words are one word.)
• Destroy each creature with an even number of words in its name.

Handy Dandy Clone Machine

{2}, {T}: Create a 2/2 colorless Homunculus creature token. It must be represented by a unique hand and two fingers at all times, or it ceases to exist.

Gnome-Made Engine

When this creature enters, create a 1/1 colorless Gnome artifact creature token.

Forest

Multi-Headed

At the beginning of each end step, if you rolled a die this turn,
Augment {4}{G} ({4}{G}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Monkey-

Whenever a nontoken creature you control dies,
Augment {2}{G} ({2}{G}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Humming-

Flying
Whenever you attack with two or more creatures,
Augment {3}{W} ({3}{W}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Adorable Kitten

When this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. You gain life equal to the result.

Knight of the Kitchen Sink

First strike, protection from black borders (Nothing with a black border can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

Half-Squirrel, Half-

Whenever a nontoken creature enters,
Augment {G} ({G}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Ineffable Blessing

As Ineffable Blessing enters, choose Flavorful or Bland.
• Flavorful — Whenever a creature with flavor text enters under your control, draw a card.
• Bland — Whenever a creature without flavor text enters under your control, draw a card.

Steam-Powered

{5}:
Augment {4} ({4}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)