Not on My Watch

Cabaretti Courtyard

When this land enters, sacrifice it. When you do, search your library for a basic Mountain, Forest, or Plains card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle and you gain 1 life.

Hot Dog Cart

When this artifact enters, create a Food token. (It's an artifact with "{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this token: You gain 3 life.")
{T}: Add one mana of any color.

City Pigeon

Flying
When this creature leaves the battlefield, create a Food token. (It's an artifact with "{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this token: You gain 3 life.")

Glasses of Urza

Damage Control Crew

When this creature enters, choose one —
• Repair — Return target card with mana value 4 or greater from your graveyard to your hand.
• Impound — Exile target artifact or enchantment.

Public Thoroughfare

This land enters tapped.
When this land enters, sacrifice it unless you tap an untapped artifact or land you control.
{T}: Add one mana of any color.

Wrench

Equipped creature gets +1/+1 and has vigilance and "{3}, {T}: Tap target creature."
{2}, Sacrifice this Equipment: Draw a card.
Equip {2}

Island

Guy in the Chair

{T}: Add one mana of any color.
Web Support — {2}{G}, {T}: Put a +1/+1 counter on target Spider. Activate only as a sorcery.

Plains

Gamble

Search your library for a card, put that card into your hand, discard a card at random, then shuffle.

Lightning Strike

Lightning Strike deals 3 damage to any target.

Urban Retreat

This land enters tapped.
{T}: Add {G}, {W}, or {U}.
{2}, Return a tapped creature you control to its owner's hand: Put this card from your hand onto the battlefield. Activate only as a sorcery.

Giant Shark

This creature can't attack unless defending player controls an Island.
Whenever this creature blocks or becomes blocked by a creature that has been dealt damage this turn, this creature gets +2/+0 and gains trample until end of turn.
When you control no Islands, sacrifice this creature.

Bill the Pony

When Bill the Pony enters, create two Food tokens. (They're artifacts with "{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this token: You gain 3 life.")
Sacrifice a Food: Until end of turn, target creature you control assigns combat damage equal to its toughness rather than its power.

Heavy Mattock

Equipped creature gets +1/+1.
As long as equipped creature is a Human, it gets an additional +1/+1.
Equip {2} ({2}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Permission Denied

Counter target noncreature spell. Your opponents can't cast noncreature spells this turn.

University Campus

This land enters tapped.
{T}: Add {W} or {U}.
{4}, {T}: Surveil 1. (Look at the top card of your library. You may put it into your graveyard.)

Instant Ramen

Flash
When this artifact enters, draw a card.
{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.

Bennie Bracks, Zoologist

Convoke (Your creatures can help cast this spell. Each creature you tap while casting this spell pays for {1} or one mana of that creature's color.)
At the beginning of each end step, if you created a token this turn, draw a card.

Baseball Bat

When this Equipment enters, attach it to target creature you control.
Equipped creature gets +1/+1.
Whenever equipped creature attacks, tap up to one target creature.
Equip {3} ({3}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Ace's Baseball Bat

Equipped creature gets +3/+0.
As long as equipped creature is attacking, it has first strike and must be blocked by a Dalek if able.
Equip legendary creature {1}
Equip {3}

Prisoner's Dilemma

Each opponent secretly chooses silence or snitch, then the choices are revealed. If each opponent chose silence, Prisoner's Dilemma deals 4 damage to each of them. If each opponent chose snitch, Prisoner's Dilemma deals 8 damage to each of them. Otherwise, Prisoner's Dilemma deals 12 damage to each opponent who chose silence.
Flashback {5}{R}{R}

Dinosaur Headdress

When this Equipment enters, attach it to target creature you control.
As this Equipment becomes attached to a creature, choose an exiled creature card used to craft this Equipment.
Equipped creature is a copy of the last chosen card.
Equip {2}

Paleontologist's Pick-Axe

Whenever equipped creature attacks, draw a card, then discard a card.
Equip {1}
Craft with one or more creatures {5} ({5}, Exile this artifact, Exile one or more creatures you control and/or creature cards from your graveyard: Return this card transformed under its owner's control. Craft only as a sorcery.)

Paleontologist's Pick-Axe // Dinosaur Headdress

Sergeant John Benton

Trample, haste
Share Intelligence — Whenever Sergeant John Benton deals combat damage to a player, you and that player each draw that many cards.

Eagles of the North

Flying
When this creature enters, creatures you control get +1/+0 and gain first strike until end of turn.
Plainscycling {1} ({1}, Discard this card: Search your library for a Plains card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.)

Hot Soup

Equipped creature can't be blocked.
Whenever equipped creature is dealt damage, destroy it.
Equip {3} ({3}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Nostalgic Dreams

As an additional cost to cast this spell, discard X cards.
Return X target cards from your graveyard to your hand. Exile Nostalgic Dreams.

Wedding Ring

When this artifact enters, if it was cast, target opponent creates a token that's a copy of it.
Whenever an opponent who controls an artifact named Wedding Ring draws a card during their turn, you draw a card.
Whenever an opponent who controls an artifact named Wedding Ring gains life during their turn, you gain that much life.

Fork in the Road

Search your library for up to two basic land cards and reveal them. Put one into your hand and the other into your graveyard. Then shuffle.

Rent Is Due

At the beginning of your end step, you may tap two untapped creatures and/or Treasures you control. If you do, draw a card. Otherwise, sacrifice this enchantment.

Witness Protection

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature loses all abilities and is a green and white Citizen creature with base power and toughness 1/1 named Legitimate Businessperson. (It loses all other colors, card types, creature types, and names.)

Ominous Cemetery

{T}: Add {C}.
{5}, {T}, Exile this land: Target creature's owner shuffles it into their library.

Obscura Storefront

When this land enters, sacrifice it. When you do, search your library for a basic Plains, Island, or Swamp card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle and you gain 1 life.

Knife

During your turn, equipped creature gets +1/+0 and has first strike.
{2}, Sacrifice this Equipment: Draw a card.
Equip {2}

Gallant Citizen

Brass Knuckles

When you cast this spell, copy it. (The copy becomes a token.)
Equipped creature has double strike as long as two or more Equipment are attached to it.
Equip {1} ({1}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Sunglasses of Urza

You may spend white mana as though it were red mana.

Vibrant Cityscape

{T}, Sacrifice this land: Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

RMS Titanic

Flying, trample
When RMS Titanic deals combat damage to a player, sacrifice it and create that many Treasure tokens.
Crew 3 (Tap any number of creatures you control with total power 3 or more: This Vehicle becomes an artifact creature until end of turn.)

Friendly Neighborhood

Enchant land
When this Aura enters, create three 1/1 green and white Human Citizen creature tokens.
Enchanted land has "{1}, {T}: Target creature gets +1/+1 until end of turn for each creature you control. Activate only as a sorcery."

Autumn Willow

Shroud (This creature can't be the target of spells or abilities.)
{G}: Until end of turn, Autumn Willow can be the target of spells and abilities controlled by target player as though it didn't have shroud.

Bagel and Schmear

Share — {W}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Put a +1/+1 counter on up to one target creature. Draw a card. Activate only as a sorcery.
Nosh — {2}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life and draw a card.

Wishing Well

{T}: Put a coin counter on this artifact. When you do, you may cast target instant or sorcery card with mana value equal to the number of coin counters on this artifact from your graveyard without paying its mana cost. If that spell would be put into your graveyard, exile it instead. Activate only as a sorcery.

Chainsaw

When this Equipment enters, it deals 3 damage to up to one target creature.
Whenever one or more creatures die, put a rev counter on this Equipment.
Equipped creature gets +X/+0, where X is the number of rev counters on this Equipment.
Equip {3}

Expedition Map

{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Search your library for a land card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Candlestick

Equipped creature gets +1/+1 and has "Whenever this creature attacks, surveil 2." (Look at the top two cards of your library, then put any number of them into your graveyard and the rest on top of your library in any order.)
{2}, Sacrifice this Equipment: Draw a card.
Equip {2}

Supportive Parents

Tap two untapped creatures you control: Add one mana of any color.

Thinking Cap

Equipped creature gets +1/+2.
Equip Detective {1}
Equip {3} ({3}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Due Diligence

Enchant creature
When this Aura enters, target creature you control other than enchanted creature gets +2/+2 and gains vigilance until end of turn.
Enchanted creature gets +2/+2 and has vigilance.

Nelly Borca, Impulsive Accuser

Vigilance
Whenever Nelly Borca attacks, suspect target creature. Then goad all suspected creatures. (A suspected creature has menace and can't block.)
Whenever one or more creatures an opponent controls deal combat damage to one or more of your opponents, you and the controller of those creatures each draw a card.

Cleanup Crew

When this creature enters, choose one —
• Destroy target artifact.
• Destroy target enchantment.
• Exile target card from a graveyard.
• You gain 4 life.

Flatline

Creatures your opponents control have base power and toughness 0/1 until end of turn.

Stoic Builder

When this creature enters, you may return target land card from your graveyard to your hand.

Kynaios and Tiro of Meletis

At the beginning of your end step, draw a card. Each player may put a land card from their hand onto the battlefield, then each opponent who didn't draws a card.

Tax Collector

When this creature enters, choose one —
• Tax — Until your next turn, spells your opponents cast cost {1} more to cast.
• Arrest — Detain target creature an opponent controls. (Until your next turn, that creature can't attack or block and its activated abilities can't be activated.)

Nuka-Cola Vending Machine

{1}, {T}: Create a Food token. (It's an artifact with "{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this token: You gain 3 life.")
Whenever you sacrifice a Food, create a tapped Treasure token. (It's an artifact with "{T}, Sacrifice this token: Add one mana of any color.")

Maestros Theater

When this land enters, sacrifice it. When you do, search your library for a basic Island, Swamp, or Mountain card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle and you gain 1 life.

Forest

Lightning Bolt

Lightning Bolt deals 3 damage to any target.

Bartered Cow

When this creature dies and when you discard this card, create a Food token. (It's an artifact with "{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this token: You gain 3 life.")

Mountain

Patchwork Banner

As this artifact enters, choose a creature type.
Creatures you control of the chosen type get +1/+1.
{T}: Add one mana of any color.

Adventurer's Inn

When this land enters, you gain 2 life.
{T}: Add {C}.

Taxi Driver

{1}, {T}: Target creature gains haste until end of turn.

Haystack

{2}, {T}: Target creature you control phases out. (Treat it and anything attached to it as though they don't exist until your next turn.)

Coat of Arms

Each creature gets +1/+1 for each other creature on the battlefield that shares at least one creature type with it. (For example, if two Goblin Warriors and a Goblin Shaman are on the battlefield, each gets +2/+2.)

Bear Trap

Flash
{3}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: It deals 3 damage to target creature.

Motivated Pony

Trample, haste
Whenever this creature attacks, attacking creatures get +1/+1 until end of turn. If a Food entered under your control this turn, untap those creatures and they get an additional +2/+2 until end of turn.

Backstreet Bruiser

Defender
As long as there are two or more counters among creatures you control, this creature can attack as though it didn't have defender.

Suburban Sanctuary

This land enters tapped.
{T}: Add {G} or {W}.
{4}, {T}: Surveil 1. (Look at the top card of your library. You may put it into your graveyard.)

Chandler

{R}{R}{R}, {T}: Destroy target artifact creature.

Acrobatic Cheerleader

Survival — At the beginning of your second main phase, if this creature is tapped, put a flying counter on it. This ability triggers only once.

Prize Pig

Whenever you gain life, put that many ribbon counters on this creature. Then if there are three or more ribbon counters on this creature, remove those counters and untap it.
{T}: Add one mana of any color.

Rope

Equipped creature gets +1/+2, has reach, and can't be blocked by more than one creature.
{2}, Sacrifice this Equipment: Draw a card.
Equip {3}

Volunteer Militia

Expert-Level Safe

When this artifact enters, exile the top two cards of your library face down.
{1}, {T}: You and target opponent each secretly choose 1, 2, or 3. Then those choices are revealed. If they match, sacrifice this artifact and put all cards exiled with it into their owners' hands. Otherwise, exile the top card of your library face down.

Exotic Pets

Create two 1/1 blue Fish creature tokens with "This token can't be blocked." Then for each kind of counter among creatures you control, put a counter of that kind on either of those tokens.