Steam Vents

({T}: Add {U} or {R}.)
As this land enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Trigger Happy

Choose a triggered ability of target permanent. It triggers. You control that ability.

Spy Eye

Flying
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, you may draw a card from that player's library.

Rules Lawyer

State-based actions don't apply to you or other permanents you control. (You don't lose the game due to having 0 or less life or drawing from an empty library. Your creatures aren't destroyed due to damage or deathtouch and aren't put into a graveyard due to having 0 or less toughness. Your planeswalkers aren't put into a graveyard if they have 0 loyalty. You don't put a legendary permanent into a graveyard if you control two with the same name. Counters aren't removed from your permanents due to game rules. Permanents you control attached or combined illegally remain on the battlefield. For complete rules and regulations, see rule 704.)

Breeding Pool

({T}: Add {G} or {U}.)
As this land enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Destroy target creature with reminder text. (Reminder text is any italicized text in parentheses that explains rules you already know.)

Yet Another Aether Vortex

All creatures have haste.
Players play with the top card of their libraries revealed.
Noninstant, nonsorcery cards on top of a library are on the battlefield under their owner's control in addition to being in that library.

Nicol Bolas, Dragon-God

Nicol Bolas has all loyalty abilities of all other planeswalkers on the battlefield.
+1: You draw a card. Each opponent exiles a card from their hand or a permanent they control.
−3: Destroy target creature or planeswalker.
−8: Each opponent who doesn't control a legendary creature or planeswalker loses the game.

Oko, the Ringleader

At the beginning of combat on your turn, Oko becomes a copy of up to one target creature you control until end of turn, except he has hexproof.
+1: Draw two cards. If you've committed a crime this turn, discard a card. Otherwise, discard two cards.
−1: Create a 3/3 green Elk creature token.
−5: For each other nonland permanent you control, create a token that's a copy of that permanent.

Whenever a creature deals damage to a player, that player may say "Ow" once for each permanent named Ow. If the player doesn't, this enchantment deals 1 damage to them.

Urza, Academy Headmaster

+1: Head to AskUrza.com and click +1.
−1: Head to AskUrza.com and click -1.
−6: Head to AskUrza.com and click -6.

Letter Bomb

When this artifact enters, sign it and shuffle it into target player's library. That player reveals each card they draw until they draw this card. When that player draws this card, it deals 19½ damage to them.

Avatar of Me

This spell costs {1} more to cast for each ten years you've been alive.
Avatar of Me's power is equal to your height in feet and its toughness is equal to your American shoe size. Round to the nearest ½.
Avatar of Me is the color of your eyes.

Mirror Mirror

This artifact enters tapped.
{7}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Choose target player. At the beginning of the next end step, exchange life totals with that player, exchange control of all permanents you and that player control, and exchange cards in your hands, cards in your libraries, and cards in your graveyards.

Island

Split Screen

When this artifact enters, shuffle your library and deal it into four libraries. If anything refers to your library, choose one of your libraries for it.
Play with your libraries' top cards revealed.
When this artifact leaves the battlefield, shuffle your libraries together.

Who // What // When // Where // Why

Infinity Elemental

Watery Grave

({T}: Add {U} or {B}.)
As this land enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Flavor Judge

{T}: Choose target spell or ability that targets a permanent you control. Then ask a person outside the game if the story of what will happen makes sense. If they say no, sacrifice this creature and counter that spell or ability.

Comet, Stellar Pup

0: Roll a six-sided die.
1 or 2 — [+2], then create two 1/1 green Squirrel creature tokens. They gain haste until end of turn.
3 — [−1], then return a card with mana value 2 or less from your graveyard to your hand.
4 or 5 — Comet deals damage equal to the number of loyalty counters on him to a creature or player, then [−2].
6 — [+1], and you may activate Comet's loyalty ability two more times this turn.

Snickering Squirrel

You may tap this creature to increase the result of a die any player rolled by 1.

Urza's Fun House

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {∞}. Activate only once and only if you control an Urza's Mine, an Urza's Power-Plant, and an Urza's Tower.
{7}, {T}: Head to AskUrza.com and click Urza's Fun House.

Animate Graveyard

Enchant your graveyard
Enchanted graveyard is a creature on the battlefield with base power and toughness each equal to the number of cards in it. It has the text boxes of all creature cards in it. It's still a graveyard.
If enchanted graveyard would leave the battlefield, instead exile this Aura.

Sigarda, Font of Blessings

Flying
Other permanents you control have hexproof.
You may look at the top card of your library any time.
You may cast Angel spells and Human spells from the top of your library.

Cheatyface

If Cheatyface is in your hand, you may sneak Cheatyface onto the battlefield. If an opponent catches you right away, that player may exile Cheatyface.
Flying

Clam Session

As this creature enters, choose a word.
At the beginning of your upkeep, you may sing at least six words of a song, at least one of which is the chosen word. If you don't, sacrifice this creature. You can't repeat a song.

Lecture Hall

Other permanents you control have hexproof.
(You may cast either half. That door unlocks on the battlefield. As a sorcery, you may pay the mana cost of a locked door to unlock it.)

Restricted Office

When you unlock this door, destroy all creatures with power 3 or greater.
(You may cast either half. That door unlocks on the battlefield. As a sorcery, you may pay the mana cost of a locked door to unlock it.)

Restricted Office // Lecture Hall

Karn Liberated

+4: Target player exiles a card from their hand.
−3: Exile target permanent.
−14: Restart the game, leaving in exile all non-Aura permanent cards exiled with Karn. Then put those cards onto the battlefield under your control.

Forest

The Space Family Goblinson

The Space Family Goblinson has trample as long as you've rolled three or more dice this turn.
Whenever you roll a die, put a +1/+1 counter on The Space Family Goblinson.

Raffine's Tower

({T}: Add {W}, {U}, or {B}.)
This land enters tapped.
Cycling {3} ({3}, Discard this card: Draw a card.)

Urza's Mine

{T}: Add {C}. If you control an Urza's Power-Plant and an Urza's Tower, add {C}{C} instead.

Jumbo Imp

Flying
As this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. This creature enters with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the result.
At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die and put a number of +1/+1 counters on this creature equal to the result.
At the beginning of your end step, roll a six-sided die and remove a number of +1/+1 counters from this creature equal to the result.

Psychic Network

Each player plays with the top card of their library held against their forehead, revealed to each other player.

Staying Power

"Until end of turn" and "this turn" effects don't end.

B.O.B. (Bevy of Beebles)

As B.O.B. enters, create four 1/1 blue Beeble creature tokens.
The number of loyalty counters on B.O.B. is equal to the number of Beebles you control. (Create or sacrifice Beebles whenever B.O.B. gains or loses loyalty.)
+1: Up to X target Beebles can't be blocked this turn, where X is the number of cards in your hand.
−1: Draw a card.

Censorship

As this enchantment enters, choose a word.
Whenever a player says the chosen word, this enchantment deals 2 damage to that player.

Erase

Common Courtesy

Whenever a player casts a spell without asking your permission while casting it, counter that spell.
When a player asks you permission to cast a spell and you refuse, counter that spell and sacrifice this enchantment.

Ladies' Knight

Flying
Spells cast by players wearing at least one item of women's clothing cost {1} less to cast. (You can define women's clothing as you see fit. Be reasonable.)

Rowan's Talent

Enchant planeswalker
Enchanted planeswalker has "[+1]: Up to one target creature gets +2/+0 and gains first strike and trample until end of turn."
Whenever you activate a loyalty ability of enchanted planeswalker, copy that ability. You may choose new targets for the copy.

Ketria Triome

({T}: Add {G}, {U}, or {R}.)
This land enters tapped.
Cycling {3} ({3}, Discard this card: Draw a card.)

Hydradoodle

As this creature enters, roll X six-sided dice. This creature enters with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the total of those results.
Reach, trample

Bureaucracy

Pursuant to subsection 3.1(4) of Richard's Rules of Order, at the beginning of the upkeep of each participant in this game of the Magic: The Gathering® trading card game (hereafter known as "PLAYER"), that PLAYER performs all actions in the sequence of previously added actions (hereafter known as "ACTION QUEUE"), in the order those actions were added, then adds another action to the end of the ACTION QUEUE. All actions must be simple physical or verbal actions that a player can perform while sitting in a chair, without jeopardizing the health and security of said PLAYER.
When any PLAYER does not perform all the prescribed actions in the correct order, sacrifice this enchantment and said PLAYER discards their complement of cards in hand (hereafter known as "HAND").

Sole Performer

{T}: Add {T}{T}. Activate only once each turn. (While activating an ability, use {T} rather than tapping the permanent to pay for {T}.)

Over My Dead Bodies

Creature cards in graveyards can attack and block as though they were on the battlefield, can block or be blocked only by creature cards in graveyards, are Zombies in addition to their other types, and have undeathtouch. (If they would deal damage to a creature card, exile that creature card instead.)
Creature cards in your graveyard have haste.

Johnny, Combo Player

{4}: Search your library for a card, put that card into your hand, then shuffle.

Planar Nexus

This land is every nonbasic land type. (Nonbasic land types include Cave, Desert, Gate, Lair, Locus, Mine, Power-Plant, Sphere, Tower, and Urza's.)
{T}: Add {C}.
{1}, {T}: Add one mana of any color.

Privileged Position

({G/W} can be paid with either {G} or {W}.)
Other permanents you control have hexproof. (They can't be the targets of spells or abilities your opponents control.)

Miss Demeanor

Flying, first strike
At the beginning of each other player's upkeep, you may compliment that player on their game play. If you don't, sacrifice this creature.

Urza's Workshop

{T}: Add {C}.
Metalcraft — {T}: Add {C} for each Urza's land you control. Activate only if you control three or more artifacts.

Plot Armor

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +2/+2 and can't be blocked except by creatures with flavor text.

Checks and Balances

Cast this spell only if there are three or more players in the game.
Whenever a player casts a spell, each of that player's opponents may discard a card. If they do, counter that spell.

Stomping Ground

({T}: Add {R} or {G}.)
As this land enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Plains

Do-It-Yourself Seraph

Flying
Whenever this creature attacks, you may search your library for an artifact card, exile it, then shuffle.
This creature has the text box of each card exiled with this creature in addition to its own.

Entirely Normal Armchair

During your turn, if this card is in your hand, you may hide it on the battlefield.
{0}: Return this artifact to its owner's hand. Only your opponents may activate this ability and only if they see this artifact.
{2}, Sacrifice this artifact: Destroy target attacking creature.

Goblin Bookie

{R}, {T}: Reflip any coin or reroll any die. (Activate only any time it makes sense.)

Deification

As this enchantment enters, choose a planeswalker type.
Planeswalkers you control of the chosen type have hexproof.
As long as you control a creature, if damage dealt to a planeswalker you control of the chosen type would result in all loyalty counters on it being removed, instead all but one of those counters are removed.

Phoebe, Head of S.N.E.A.K.

Phoebe can't be blocked by creatures with flavor text.
{2}{U}{B}: Phoebe permanently steals target creature's text box. (That creature loses all rules text, flavor text, and watermarks. This creature gains them.)

Selfie Preservation

Search your library for a basic land card and reveal it. If there's a tree in its art, put it onto the battlefield tapped. Otherwise, put it into your hand. Then shuffle.

Deadpool, Trading Card

As Deadpool enters, you may exchange his text box and another creature's.
At the beginning of your upkeep, you lose 3 life.
{3}, Sacrifice this creature: Each other player draws a card.

Boomstacker

As this creature enters and whenever it attacks, stack two dice on top of it. (All dice must be stacked vertically, one on top of another.)
This creature gets +1/+1 for each die in its stack.
This creature attacks each combat if able.
When the stack falls, sacrifice this creature.

Rod of Spanking

{2}, {T}: This artifact deals 1 damage to target player. Then untap this artifact unless that player says "Thank you, sir. May I have another?"

Temple Garden

({T}: Add {G} or {W}.)
As this land enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

City of Ass

This land enters tapped.
{T}: Add one and one-half mana of any one color.

capital offense

target creature gets -x/-x until end of turn, where x is the number of times a capital letter appears in its rules text. (ignore reminder text and flavor text.)

Side Quest

Target player in an Un-game you can see from your seat gains control of target creature you control until your next turn. At the beginning of your next upkeep, put two +1/+1 counters on that creature. (A creature is on the battlefield of only the game its controller is playing.)

Arcane Signet

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

B-I-N-G-O

Trample
Whenever a player casts a spell, put a chip counter on its mana value.
This creature gets +9/+9 for each set of three numbers in a row with chip counters on them.

Fowl Play

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature loses all abilities and is a Bird creature with base power and toughness 1/1.

Ashnod's Coupon

{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Target player gets you target drink. You pay any costs for the drink.

Urza's Construction Drone

When Urza's Construction Drone enters, conjure cards named Urza's Mine, Urza's Power Plant, and Urza's Tower into your library, then shuffle.
Whenever Urza's Construction Drone attacks or dies, seek an Urza's land card.

Elspeth's Talent

Enchant planeswalker
Enchanted planeswalker has "[+1]: Create three 1/1 white Soldier creature tokens."
Whenever you activate a loyalty ability of enchanted planeswalker, creatures you control get +2/+2 and gain vigilance until end of turn.

Wall of Fortune

Defender
You may tap an untapped Wall you control to have any player reroll a die that player rolled.

Richard Garfield, Ph.D.

You may play cards as though they were other cards of your choice with the same mana cost. You can't choose the same card twice. (Mana cost includes color.)

Mountain

Three-Headed Goblin

Triple strike (This creature deals first-strike, regular, and last-strike combat damage.)

Time Out

Roll a six-sided die. Put target nonland permanent into its owner's library just beneath the top X cards of that library, where X is the result.

As long as X is in X's owner's opponent's hand, X's owner may cast X and activate X's abilities. That opponent can't cast X and plays with their hand revealed.
{U}{B}, {T}: Put X into target opponent's hand.
{3}{U}{B}: You may play a land or cast a spell from the hand X is in. If you cast a spell this way, you cast it without paying its mana cost.

Jack-in-the-Mox

{T}: Roll a six-sided die. This ability has the indicated effect.
1 — Sacrifice this artifact and you lose 5 life.
2 — Add {W}.
3 — Add {U}.
4 — Add {B}.
5 — Add {R}.
6 — Add {G}.

Nearby Planet

Rangeling (This card is every land type, including Plains, Island, Swamp, Mountain, Forest, Desert, Gate, Lair, Locus, and all those Urza's ones.)
This land enters tapped.
When this land enters, sacrifice it unless you pay {1}.

Spara's Headquarters

({T}: Add {G}, {W}, or {U}.)
This land enters tapped.
Cycling {3} ({3}, Discard this card: Draw a card.)

Urza's Cave

{T}: Add {C}.
{3}, {T}, Sacrifice this land: Search your library for a land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

AWOL

Exile target attacking creature. Then remove it from the game. Then put it into the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game-forever zone.

Raugrin Triome

({T}: Add {U}, {R}, or {W}.)
This land enters tapped.
Cycling {3} ({3}, Discard this card: Draw a card.)

Hangman

As this creature enters, secretly note a word with six to eight letters.
{1}: Target player who doesn't control this creature guesses the noted word or an unguessed letter in that word. If they guess wrong, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature. Any player may activate this ability.
When a player guesses the noted word or all of its letters, sacrifice this creature.

Once More with Feeling

Exile all permanents and all cards from all graveyards. Each player shuffles their hand into their library, then draws seven cards. Each player's life total becomes 10. Exile Once More with Feeling.
DCI ruling — A deck can have only one card named Once More with Feeling.

Xander's Lounge

({T}: Add {U}, {B}, or {R}.)
This land enters tapped.
Cycling {3} ({3}, Discard this card: Draw a card.)

Frankie Peanuts

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may ask target player a yes-or-no question. If you do, that player answers the question truthfully and abides by that answer if able until end of turn.

Overgrown Tomb

({T}: Add {B} or {G}.)
As this land enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Hot Fix

You have ten seconds to look at and rearrange the cards in your library. At the end of those ten seconds, if you're touching one or more of those cards, shuffle.

Command Tower

Liliana's Talent

Enchant planeswalker
Enchanted planeswalker has "[−8]: Put all creature cards from all graveyards onto the battlefield under your control."
Whenever a creature deals damage to enchanted planeswalker, destroy that creature.

The Ultimate Nightmare of Wizards of the Coast® Customer Service

The Ultimate Nightmare of Wizards of the Coast® Customer Service deals X damage to each of Y target creatures and Z target players or planeswalkers.

Sacred Foundry

({T}: Add {R} or {W}.)
As this land enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Teferi's Talent

Enchant planeswalker
Enchanted planeswalker has "[−12]: You get an emblem with 'You may activate loyalty abilities of planeswalkers you control on any player's turn any time you could cast an instant.'"
Whenever you draw a card, put a loyalty counter on enchanted planeswalker.

Mox Lotus

{T}: Add {∞}.
{100}: Add one mana of any color.

Urza's Power Plant

{T}: Add {C}. If you control an Urza's Mine and an Urza's Tower, add {C}{C} instead.

Main Event Horizon

As an additional cost to cast this spell, choose A through M or N through Z.
Destroy each creature whose name begins with a letter in the chosen range.

Swiftfoot Boots

Equipped creature has hexproof and haste. (It can't be the target of spells or abilities your opponents control. It can attack and {T} no matter when it came under your control.)
Equip {1} ({1}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Vivien's Talent

Enchant planeswalker
Enchanted planeswalker has "[+1]: Look at the top four cards of your library. You may reveal a creature or land card from among them and put it into your hand. Put the rest on the bottom of your library in a random order."
Whenever a nontoken creature you control enters, put a loyalty counter on enchanted planeswalker.

Underdome

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to pay Un-costs.

Sex Appeal

Prevent the next 3 damage that would be dealt this turn to any number of targets, divided as you choose. If there are more people in the room of a different gender than you are as you cast this spell, prevent the next 6 damage this way instead.