Urza's Science Fair Project

{2}: Roll a six-sided die. Urza's Science Fair Project gets the indicated result.
1 — It gets -2/-2 until end of turn.
2 — Prevent all combat damage it would deal this turn.
3 — It gains vigilance until end of turn.
4 — It gains first strike until end of turn.
5 — It gains flying until end of turn.
6 — It gets +2/+2 until end of turn.

Goblin Bowling Team

If Goblin Bowling Team would deal damage to a permanent or player, it deals that much damage plus the result of a six-sided die roll to that permanent or player instead.

The Cheese Stands Alone

When you control no permanents other than The Cheese Stands Alone and have no cards in hand, you win the game.

Double Take

Choose another player. You draw two cards. At the beginning of the first upkeep in your next game with that player, you draw two cards.

Sex Appeal

Prevent the next 3 damage that would be dealt this turn to any number of targets, divided as you choose. If there are more people in the room of a different gender than you are as you cast this spell, prevent the next 6 damage this way instead.

Whenever a creature deals damage to a player, that player may say "Ow" once for each permanent named Ow. If the player doesn't, Ow deals 1 damage to them.

Look at Me, I'm the DCI

Ban a card other than a basic land card for the rest of the match. (All cards with that name in any zone or sideboard are removed from the match.)

Double Deal

Choose another player. Double Deal deals 3 damage to that player. At the beginning of the first upkeep in your next game with that player, Double Deal deals 3 damage to the player.

Incoming!

Each player searches their library for any number of artifact, creature, enchantment, and/or land cards, puts them onto the battlefield, then shuffles.

Double Cross

Choose another player. Look at that player's hand and choose a card other than a basic land card from it. They discard that card. At the beginning of the first upkeep in your next game with that player, look at that player's hand and choose a card other than a basic land card from it. They discard that card.

Ricochet

Whenever a player casts a spell that targets a single player, each player rolls a six-sided die. Change the target of that spell to the player with the lowest result. Reroll to break ties, if necessary.

Once More with Feeling

Exile all permanents and all cards from all graveyards. Each player shuffles their hand into their library, then draws seven cards. Each player's life total becomes 10. Exile Once More with Feeling.
DCI ruling — A deck can have only one card named Once More with Feeling.

Ghazbán Ogress

When Ghazbán Ogress enters, if one player has won more Magic games that day than any other player, that player gains control of Ghazbán Ogress.

Paper Tiger

Creatures named Rock Lobster can't attack or block.

Miss Demeanor

Flying, first strike
At the beginning of each other player's upkeep, you may compliment that player on their game play. If you don't, sacrifice Miss Demeanor.

Jack-in-the-Mox

{T}: Roll a six-sided die. This ability has the indicated effect.
1 — Sacrifice Jack-in-the-Mox and you lose 5 life.
2 — Add {W}.
3 — Add {U}.
4 — Add {B}.
5 — Add {R}.
6 — Add {G}.

Infernal Spawn of Evil

Flying, first strike
{1}{B}, Reveal Infernal Spawn of Evil from your hand, Say "It's coming!": Infernal Spawn of Evil deals 1 damage to target opponent or planeswalker. Activate only during your upkeep and only once each turn.

Temp of the Damned

As Temp of the Damned enters, roll a six-sided die. Temp of the Damned enters with a number of funk counters on it equal to the result.
At the beginning of your upkeep, remove a funk counter from Temp of the Damned. If you can't, sacrifice it.

Mirror Mirror

Mirror Mirror enters tapped.
{7}, {T}, Sacrifice Mirror Mirror: Choose target player. At the beginning of the next end step, exchange life totals with that player, exchange control of all permanents you and that player control, and exchange cards in your hands, cards in your libraries, and cards in your graveyards.

Clam Session

As Clam Session enters, choose a word.
At the beginning of your upkeep, you may sing at least six words of a song, at least one of which is the chosen word. If you don't, sacrifice Clam Session. You can't repeat a song.

Ashnod's Coupon

{T}, Sacrifice Ashnod's Coupon: Target player gets you target drink. You pay any costs for the drink.

Bronze Calendar

Spells you cast cost {1} less to cast.
You must speak in a voice other than your normal voice.
When you speak in your normal voice, sacrifice Bronze Calendar.

Mesa Chicken

Stand up, Flap your arms, Cluck like a chicken: Mesa Chicken gains flying until end of turn.

Strategy, Schmategy

Roll a six-sided die. Strategy, Schmategy has the indicated effect.
1 — Do nothing.
2 — Destroy all artifacts.
3 — Destroy all lands.
4 — Strategy, Schmategy deals 3 damage to each creature and each player.
5 — Each player discards their hand and draws seven cards.
6 — Repeat this process two more times.

Free-for-All

When Free-for-All enters, exile all creatures face down.
At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player chooses a card exiled with Free-for-All at random and puts it onto the battlefield.
When Free-for-All leaves the battlefield, put all cards exiled with it into their owners' graveyards.

The Ultimate Nightmare of Wizards of the Coast® Customer Service

The Ultimate Nightmare of Wizards of the Coast® Customer Service deals X damage to each of Y target creatures and Z target players or planeswalkers.

Rock Lobster

Creatures named Scissors Lizard can't attack or block.

Timmy, Power Gamer

{4}: You may put a creature card from your hand onto the battlefield.

Jester's Sombrero

{2}, {T}, Sacrifice Jester's Sombrero: Look at target player's sideboard, choose three cards from it, and remove those cards from the match.

Get a Life

Target player and each of that player's teammates exchange life totals.

Cardboard Carapace

Enchant creature
For each other card named Cardboard Carapace you have with you outside the game, enchanted creature gets +1/+1.

Hurloon Wrangler

Denimwalk (This creature can't be blocked as long as defending player is wearing denim.)

Burning Cinder Fury of Crimson Chaos Fire

Whenever any player taps a permanent, that player chooses one of their opponents. The chosen player gains control of that permanent at the beginning of the next end step.
At the beginning of each player's end step, if that player didn't tap any nonland permanents that turn, Burning Cinder Fury of Crimson Chaos Fire deals 3 damage to that player.

Clambassadors

Whenever Clambassadors deals damage to a player, choose an artifact, creature, or land you control. That player gains control of that permanent.

Chicken Egg

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. If you roll a 6, sacrifice Chicken Egg and create a 4/4 red Giant Bird creature token.

Blacker Lotus

{T}: Tear Blacker Lotus into pieces. Add four mana of any one color. Remove the pieces from the game.

Gus enters with a +1/+1 counter on it for each Magic game you have lost to one of your opponents since you last won a game against them.

Deadhead

{0}: Return Deadhead from your graveyard to the battlefield. Activate only if an opponent isn't touching their hand (of cards).

Spark Fiend

When Spark Fiend enters, roll two six-sided dice. If you rolled 2, 3, or 12, sacrifice Spark Fiend. If you rolled 7 or 11, don't roll dice for Spark Fiend during any of your following upkeeps. If you rolled any other total, note that total.
At the beginning of your upkeep, roll two six-sided dice. If you rolled 7, sacrifice Spark Fiend. If you roll the noted total, don't roll dice for Spark Fiend during any of your following upkeeps. Otherwise, do nothing.

Jumbo Imp

Flying
As Jumbo Imp enters, roll a six-sided die. Jumbo Imp enters with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the result.
At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die and put a number of +1/+1 counters on Jumbo Imp equal to the result.
At the beginning of your end step, roll a six-sided die and remove a number of +1/+1 counters from Jumbo Imp equal to the result.

Gerrymandering

Exile all lands. Give each player a number of those cards chosen at random equal to the number of those cards the player controlled. Each player returns those cards to the battlefield under their control.

Spatula of the Ages

{4}, {T}, Sacrifice Spatula of the Ages: You may put a silver-bordered or acorn permanent card from your hand onto the battlefield.

Free-Range Chicken

{1}{G}: Roll two six-sided dice. If both results are the same, Free-Range Chicken gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is that result. If the total of those results is equal to any other total you have rolled this turn for this ability, sacrifice it. (For example, if you roll two 3s, it gets +3/+3. If you roll a 4 and a 2 for this ability later that turn, sacrifice it.)

Clam-I-Am

If you roll a 3 on a six-sided die, you may reroll that die.

I'm Rubber, You're Glue

When you speak in non-rhyming sentences, sacrifice I'm Rubber, You're Glue.
Say "I'm rubber, you're glue. Everything bounces off me and sticks to you": Change the target of target spell or ability that targets only you.

Growth Spurt

Roll a six-sided die. Target creature gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the result.

Fowl Play

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature loses all abilities and is a Bird creature with base power and toughness 1/1.

Common Courtesy

Whenever a player casts a spell without asking your permission while casting it, counter that spell.
When a player asks you permission to cast a spell and you refuse, counter that spell and sacrifice Common Courtesy.

Elvish Impersonators

As Elvish Impersonators enters, roll a six-sided die twice. Its base power becomes the first result and its base toughness becomes the second result.

Mine, Mine, Mine!

When Mine, Mine, Mine! enters, each player puts their library into their hand.
Players have no maximum hand size and don't lose the game for drawing from an empty library.
Each player can't cast more than one spell each turn.
When Mine, Mine, Mine! leaves the battlefield, each player shuffles their hand and graveyard into their library.

Landfill

Choose a land type. Exile all lands you control of that type. Drop those cards, one at a time, onto the playing area from a height of at least one foot. Destroy each permanent completely covered by those cards. Then return the cards you dropped to the battlefield tapped.

Urza's Contact Lenses

Urza's Contact Lenses enters tapped.
Urza's Contact Lenses doesn't untap during your untap step.
As long as Urza's Contact Lenses is untapped, all players play with their hands revealed.
Clap your hands twice: You may tap or untap Urza's Contact Lenses.

Sorry

Before any player casts a spell with the same name as a card in any graveyard, that player may say "sorry." If they don't, any other player may say "sorry" as the spell is being cast. When another player says "sorry" this way, counter the spell.
Whenever a player says "sorry" at any other time, Sorry deals 2 damage to that player.

Lexivore

Whenever Lexivore deals damage to a player, destroy target permanent other than Lexivore with the most lines of text in its text box. (If two or more cards are tied, target any one of them.)

Squirrel Farm

{1}{G}: Reveal a card in your hand, covering the artist credit. Target opponent guesses the artist. If they guess wrong, create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token.

Denied!

Choose a card name, then target spell's controller reveals their hand. If a card with the chosen name is revealed this way, counter that spell.

Goblin Bookie

{R}, {T}: Reflip any coin or reroll any die. (Activate only any time it makes sense.)

Double Play

Choose another player. Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle. At the beginning of the first upkeep in your next game with that player, search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

Giant Fan

{2}, {T}: Move a counter from one permanent onto another. If the second permanent refers to any kind of counter, the moved counter becomes one of those counters. Otherwise, it becomes a +1/+1 counter.

Hungry Hungry Heifer

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may remove a counter from a permanent you control. If you don't, sacrifice Hungry Hungry Heifer.

Censorship

As Censorship enters, choose a word.
Whenever a player says the chosen word, Censorship deals 2 damage to that player.

Poultrygeist

Flying
Whenever a creature dies, you may roll a six-sided die. If you roll a 1, sacrifice Poultrygeist. Otherwise, put a +1/+1 counter on Poultrygeist.

Bog Wraith

Swampwalk (This creature can't be blocked as long as defending player controls a Swamp.)

Chaos Confetti

{4}, {T}: Tear Chaos Confetti into pieces. Throw the pieces onto the battlefield from a distance of at least five feet. Destroy each permanent that a piece touches. Remove the pieces from the game.

Team Spirit

Creatures target player's team controls get +1/+1 until end of turn.

Bureaucracy

Pursuant to subsection 3.1(4) of Richard's Rules of Order, at the beginning of the upkeep of each participant in this game of the Magic: The Gathering® trading card game (hereafter known as "PLAYER"), that PLAYER performs all actions in the sequence of previously added actions (hereafter known as "ACTION QUEUE"), in the order those actions were added, then adds another action to the end of the ACTION QUEUE. All actions must be simple physical or verbal actions that a player can perform while sitting in a chair, without jeopardizing the health and security of said PLAYER.
When any PLAYER does not perform all the prescribed actions in the correct order, sacrifice Bureaucracy and said PLAYER discards their complement of cards in hand (hereafter known as "HAND").

Scissors Lizard

Creatures named Paper Tiger can't attack or block.

Double Dip

Choose another player. You gain 5 life. At the beginning of the first upkeep in your next game with that player, you gain 5 life.

Jalum Grifter

{1}{R}, {T}: Shuffle Jalum Grifter and two lands you control face down. Target opponent chooses one of those cards. Turn the cards face up. If they chose Jalum Grifter, sacrifice it. Otherwise, destroy target permanent.

Flock of Rabid Sheep

Flip X coins. For each flip you win, create a 2/2 green Sheep creature token named Rabid Sheep.

Goblin Tutor

Roll a six-sided die. If you roll a 1, Goblin Tutor has no effect. Otherwise, search your library for the indicated card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.
2 — A card named Goblin Tutor
3 — An enchantment
4 — An artifact
5 — A creature
6 — An instant or sorcery

Organ Harvest

Your team may sacrifice any number of creatures. For each creature sacrificed this way, you add {B}{B}.

B.F.M. (Big Furry Monster)

B.F.M. onto the battlefield. If one B.F.M. card
more creatures.

Prismatic Wardrobe

Destroy target nonartifact, nonland permanent that doesn't share a color with clothing worn by its controller.

Krazy Kow

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. If you a roll a 1, sacrifice Krazy Kow and it deals 3 damage to each creature and each player.

Chicken à la King

Whenever a 6 is rolled on a six-sided die, put a +1/+1 counter on each Bird. (You may roll dice only when instructed to.)
Tap an untapped Bird you control: Roll a six-sided die. (Like now.)

Checks and Balances

Cast this spell only if there are three or more players in the game.
Whenever a player casts a spell, each of that player's opponents may discard a card. If they do, counter that spell.