Staff of the Letter Magus

As this artifact enters, choose a consonant other than N, R, S, or T.
Whenever a player casts a spell, you gain 1 life for each time the chosen letter appears in that spell's name.

Toy Boat

Cumulative upkeep—Say "Toy Boat" quickly. (At the beginning of your upkeep, put an age counter on this creature, then sacrifice it unless you say "Toy Boat" once for each age counter on it—without pausing between or fumbling it.)

Ambiguity

Whenever a player plays a spell that counters a spell that has been played or a player plays a spell that comes into play with counters, that player may counter the next spell played or put an additional counter on a permanent that has already been played, but not countered.

Framed!

Choose an artist. Tap all untapped permanents with art by that artist or untap all tapped permanents with art by that artist.

Thran Dynamo

Bureaucracy

Pursuant to subsection 3.1(4) of Richard's Rules of Order, at the beginning of the upkeep of each participant in this game of the Magic: The Gathering® trading card game (hereafter known as "PLAYER"), that PLAYER performs all actions in the sequence of previously added actions (hereafter known as "ACTION QUEUE"), in the order those actions were added, then adds another action to the end of the ACTION QUEUE. All actions must be simple physical or verbal actions that a player can perform while sitting in a chair, without jeopardizing the health and security of said PLAYER.
When any PLAYER does not perform all the prescribed actions in the correct order, sacrifice this enchantment and said PLAYER discards their complement of cards in hand (hereafter known as "HAND").

Phyrexian Metamorph

({U/P} can be paid with either {U} or 2 life.)
You may have this creature enter as a copy of any artifact or creature on the battlefield, except it's an artifact in addition to its other types.

Watermarket

{T}: Add {C}{C}. Spend this mana only to cast spells with watermarks.

Blurry Beeble

Blurry (This creature can be blocked only if defending player was wearing glasses as it was cast.)
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, you may draw a card. If you do, discard a card.

Loose Lips

Enchant creature
As this Aura enters, choose a sentence with eight or fewer words.
Enchanted creature has flying.
Whenever enchanted creature deals damage to an opponent, that player may say the chosen sentence. If they don't, you draw two cards.

Arcane Signet

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Flavor Judge

{T}: Choose target spell or ability that targets a permanent you control. Then ask a person outside the game if the story of what will happen makes sense. If they say no, sacrifice this creature and counter that spell or ability.

Entirely Normal Armchair

During your turn, if this card is in your hand, you may hide it on the battlefield.
{0}: Return this artifact to its owner's hand. Only your opponents may activate this ability and only if they see this artifact.
{2}, Sacrifice this artifact: Destroy target attacking creature.

Look at Me, I'm R&D

As this enchantment enters, choose a number and a second number one higher or one lower than the first number.
All instances of the first chosen number in the full text of each permanent, spell, and card in any zone are changed to the second chosen number.

Cheap Ass

Artful Looter

{T}: Draw a card, then discard a card.
Whenever a permanent that shares an artist with another permanent you control enters, untap this creature.

Magical Hacker

{U}: Change the text of target spell or permanent by replacing all instances of + with -, and vice versa, until end of turn.

Water Gun Balloon Game

As this artifact enters, each player puts a pop! counter on "0."
Whenever a player casts a spell, move that player's pop! counter up one.
Whenever a player's pop! counter hits "5," that player creates a 5/5 pink Giant Teddy Bear creature token and resets all pop! counters to "0."

First Come, First Served

Each attacking or blocking creature with the lowest collector number among attacking or blocking creatures has first strike.

Teferi's Protection

Until your next turn, your life total can't change and you gain protection from everything. All permanents you control phase out. (While they're phased out, they're treated as though they don't exist. They phase in before you untap during your untap step.)
Exile Teferi's Protection.

Border Guardian

Whenever you cast a silver-bordered spell, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature.
Whenever you cast a black-bordered spell, this creature can't be blocked this turn.
Whenever you cast a white-bordered spell, this creature gains double strike until end of turn.

Bronze Calendar

Spells you cast cost {1} less to cast.
You must speak in a voice other than your normal voice.
When you speak in your normal voice, sacrifice this artifact.

Command Tower

Talisman of Progress

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {W} or {U}. This artifact deals 1 damage to you.

Grand Arbiter Augustin IV

White spells you cast cost {1} less to cast.
Blue spells you cast cost {1} less to cast.
Spells your opponents cast cost {1} more to cast.

The Grand Calcutron

When The Grand Calcutron enters, each player's hand becomes a program (an ordered row of revealed cards).
Players can play only the first card of their program.
If a card would be put into a player's hand from anywhere, that player reveals it and places it anywhere within their program instead.
At the beginning of each player's end step, if that player's program has fewer than five cards, they draw cards equal to the difference.
The Grand Calcutron can be your commander.

Dreamscape Artist

{2}{U}, {T}, Discard a card, Sacrifice a land: Search your library for up to two basic land cards, put them onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

Clay Pigeon

Flying
{1}, Throw this creature into the air at least two feet above your head while seated: If you catch this creature with one hand, prevent all damage a source of your choice would deal to you this turn and tap this creature. Otherwise, sacrifice it.

Everythingamajig

{1}, {T}: Scry 2.
{1}, {T}, Pay 1 life: Create a 0/1 white Goat creature token.
{7}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Choose target player. At the beginning of the next end step, exchange life totals with that player, exchange control of all permanents you and that player control, and exchange cards in your hands, cards in your libraries, and cards in your graveyards.

Jackknight

Whenever another artifact you control enters, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature. If that artifact is a Contraption, this creature gains lifelink until end of turn.

Miss Demeanor

Flying, first strike
At the beginning of each other player's upkeep, you may compliment that player on their game play. If you don't, sacrifice this creature.

Double Take

Choose another player. You draw two cards. At the beginning of the first upkeep in your next game with that player, you draw two cards.

Split Screen

When this artifact enters, shuffle your library and deal it into four libraries. If anything refers to your library, choose one of your libraries for it.
Play with your libraries' top cards revealed.
When this artifact leaves the battlefield, shuffle your libraries together.

Knight of the Kitchen Sink

First strike, protection from watermarks (Nothing with a watermark can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

Knight of the Widget

Vigilance
Knight of the Widget's power and toughness are each equal to the number of Order of the Widget watermarks among permanents you control.

Kindly Cognician

Spells you cast that refer to artifacts or Contraptions in their rules text cost {1} less to cast.

Wordmail

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +1/+1 for each word in its name.

Look at Me, I'm the DCI

Ban a card other than a basic land card for the rest of the match. (All cards with that name in any zone or sideboard are removed from the match.)

Sol Ring

Common Courtesy

Whenever a player casts a spell without asking your permission while casting it, counter that spell.
When a player asks you permission to cast a spell and you refuse, counter that spell and sacrifice this enchantment.

Sword of Dungeons & Dragons

Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has protection from Rogues and from Clerics.
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, create a 4/4 gold Dragon creature token with flying and roll a d20 (a twenty-sided die). If you roll a 20, repeat this process.
Equip {2}

Secret Base

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to cast a spell that shares a watermark with this land.

Number Crunch

Return target permanent to its owner's hand.
Gotcha — If an opponent says a number, you may say "Gotcha" When you do, return this card from your graveyard to your hand.

Ensoul Artifact

Enchant artifact
Enchanted artifact is a creature with base power and toughness 5/5 in addition to its other types.

Rules Lawyer

State-based actions don't apply to you or other permanents you control. (You don't lose the game due to having 0 or less life or drawing from an empty library. Your creatures aren't destroyed due to damage or deathtouch and aren't put into a graveyard due to having 0 or less toughness. Your planeswalkers aren't put into a graveyard if they have 0 loyalty. You don't put a legendary permanent into a graveyard if you control two with the same name. Counters aren't removed from your permanents due to game rules. Permanents you control attached or combined illegally remain on the battlefield. For complete rules and regulations, see rule 704.)

By Gnome Means

{1}{W}, Remove a counter from a permanent you control: Create a 1/1 colorless Gnome artifact creature token.
{1}{W}, Sacrifice an artifact: Choose any kind of counter a printed card refers to, then put one of that counter on target permanent.

Fowl Play

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature loses all abilities and is a Bird creature with base power and toughness 1/1.

Old Guard

{W}, {T}: Tap target creature without reminder text. (Reminder text is still any italicized text in parentheses that explains rules you already know.)

Sculpting Steel

You may have this artifact enter as a copy of any artifact on the battlefield.

Pointy Finger of Doom

{3}, {T}: Spin this artifact in the middle of the table so that it rotates completely at least once, then destroy the closest permanent the finger points to.

B.O.B. (Bevy of Beebles)

As B.O.B. enters, create four 1/1 blue Beeble creature tokens.
The number of loyalty counters on B.O.B. is equal to the number of Beebles you control. (Create or sacrifice Beebles whenever B.O.B. gains or loses loyalty.)
+1: Up to X target Beebles can't be blocked this turn, where X is the number of cards in your hand.
−1: Draw a card.

Sorry

Before any player casts a spell with the same name as a card in any graveyard, that player may say "sorry." If they don't, any other player may say "sorry" as the spell is being cast. When another player says "sorry" this way, counter the spell.
Whenever a player says "sorry" at any other time, Sorry deals 2 damage to that player.

Checks and Balances

Cast this spell only if there are three or more players in the game.
Whenever a player casts a spell, each of that player's opponents may discard a card. If they do, counter that spell.

Cheatyface

If Cheatyface is in your hand, you may sneak Cheatyface onto the battlefield. If an opponent catches you right away, that player may exile Cheatyface.
Flying

Meddling Kids

As this creature enters, choose a word with four or more letters.
Spells with the chosen word in their text box can't be cast.

Spell Counter

Counter target spell.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "spell" or "counter," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Spell Counter from your graveyard to your hand.

More or Less

Add or subtract 1 or one from a number or number word on target spell or permanent until end of turn.

Wall of Fortune

Defender
You may tap an untapped Wall you control to have any player reroll a die that player rolled.

Very Cryptic Command

Choose two —
• Untap two target permanents.
• Tap each permanent target player controls with exactly one word in its name.
• Discard all the cards in your hand, then draw that many cards.
• Return target instant or sorcery card from your graveyard to your hand.

I'm Rubber, You're Glue

When you speak in non-rhyming sentences, sacrifice this enchantment.
Say "I'm rubber, you're glue. Everything bounces off me and sticks to you": Change the target of target spell or ability that targets only you.

Island

Plains

Merfolk Looter

Once More with Feeling

Exile all permanents and all cards from all graveyards. Each player shuffles their hand into their library, then draws seven cards. Each player's life total becomes 10. Exile Once More with Feeling.
DCI ruling — A deck can have only one card named Once More with Feeling.

GO TO JAIL

When this enchantment enters, exile target creature an opponent controls until this enchantment leaves the battlefield.
At the beginning of the upkeep of the exiled card's owner, that player rolls two six-sided dice. If they roll doubles, sacrifice this enchantment.

Jack-in-the-Mox

{T}: Roll a six-sided die. This ability has the indicated effect.
1 — Sacrifice this artifact and you lose 5 life.
2 — Add {W}.
3 — Add {U}.
4 — Add {B}.
5 — Add {R}.
6 — Add {G}.

Kindslaver

{5}, {T}, Sacrifice Kindslaver: A person outside the game controls target player during that player's next turn. Neither player may advise that person until the end of that turn.

Clocknapper

When this creature enters, choose beginning phase, first main phase, combat phase, postcombat main phase, or ending phase. Steal that phase from target player during their next turn. (That phase occurs as though it's your turn instead.)

Mana Screw

{1}: Flip a coin. If you win the flip, add {C}{C}. Activate only as an instant.

Underdome

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to pay Un-costs.

Azorius Signet

Carnivorous Death-Parrot

Flying
At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice this creature unless you say its flavor text.

Topsy Turvy

The phases of each player's turn are reversed. (The phases are, in reverse order, ending, second main, combat, first main, and beginning.)
As long as there are more than two players in the game, the turn order is reversed.