Gleemax

You choose all targets for all spells and abilities.

Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil

Flying, first strike, trample
Once each turn, while you're searching your library, you may pay {1}{B}, reveal this card from your library and say "I'm coming, too" If you do, this card deals 2 damage to a player of your choice.

Endless Ranks of the Dead

At the beginning of your upkeep, create X 2/2 black Zombie creature tokens, where X is half the number of Zombies you control, rounded down.

Infernal Spawn of Evil

Flying, first strike
{1}{B}, Reveal this card from your hand, Say "It's coming": This card deals 1 damage to target opponent or planeswalker. Activate only during your upkeep and only once each turn.

Shadowspear

Equipped creature gets +1/+1 and has trample and lifelink.
{1}: Permanents your opponents control lose hexproof and indestructible until end of turn.
Equip {2}

Basalt Monolith

This artifact doesn't untap during your untap step.
{T}: Add {C}{C}{C}.
{3}: Untap this artifact.

Bureaucracy

Pursuant to subsection 3.1(4) of Richard's Rules of Order, at the beginning of the upkeep of each participant in this game of the Magic: The Gathering® trading card game (hereafter known as "PLAYER"), that PLAYER performs all actions in the sequence of previously added actions (hereafter known as "ACTION QUEUE"), in the order those actions were added, then adds another action to the end of the ACTION QUEUE. All actions must be simple physical or verbal actions that a player can perform while sitting in a chair, without jeopardizing the health and security of said PLAYER.
When any PLAYER does not perform all the prescribed actions in the correct order, sacrifice this enchantment and said PLAYER discards their complement of cards in hand (hereafter known as "HAND").

Vampiric Tutor

Search your library for a card, then shuffle and put that card on top. You lose 2 life.

B.F.M. (Big Furry Monster)

B.F.M. onto the battlefield. If one B.F.M. card
more creatures.

Rod of Spanking

{2}, {T}: This artifact deals 1 damage to target player. Then untap this artifact unless that player says "Thank you, sir. May I have another?"

Mana Crypt

At the beginning of your upkeep, flip a coin. If you lose the flip, this artifact deals 3 damage to you.
{T}: Add {C}{C}.

Sol Ring

Command Beacon

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}, Sacrifice this land: Put your commander into your hand from the command zone.

Aqueous Form

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature can't be blocked.
Whenever enchanted creature attacks, scry 1. (Look at the top card of your library. You may put that card on the bottom.)

You must cast both B.F.M. cards to put
leaves the battlefield, sacrifice the other.
B.F.M. can't be blocked except by three or

Genji Glove

Equipped creature has double strike.
Whenever equipped creature attacks, if it's the first combat phase of the turn, untap it. After this phase, there is an additional combat phase.
Equip {3}

Phoebe, Head of S.N.E.A.K.

Phoebe can't be blocked by creatures with flavor text.
{2}{U}{B}: Phoebe permanently steals target creature's text box. (That creature loses all rules text, flavor text, and watermarks. This creature gains them.)

Netherborn Altar

{T}, Put a soul counter on this artifact: Put your commander into your hand from the command zone. Then you lose 3 life for each soul counter on this artifact.

Insatiable Avarice

Spree (Choose one or more additional costs.)
+ {2} — Search your library for a card, then shuffle and put that card on top.
+ {B}{B} — Target player draws three cards and loses 3 life.

Dimir Cluestone

{T}: Add {U} or {B}.
{U}{B}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Draw a card.

Witness Protection

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature loses all abilities and is a green and white Citizen creature with base power and toughness 1/1 named Legitimate Businessperson. (It loses all other colors, card types, creature types, and names.)

Avatar of Me

This spell costs {1} more to cast for each ten years you've been alive.
Avatar of Me's power is equal to your height in feet and its toughness is equal to your American shoe size. Round to the nearest ½.
Avatar of Me is the color of your eyes.

Dimir Signet

Commander's Plate

Equipped creature gets +3/+3 and has protection from each color that's not in your commander's color identity.
Equip commander {3}
Equip {5}

Swamp

Curse of the Restless Dead

Enchant player
Whenever a land enchanted player controls enters, you create a 2/2 black Zombie creature token with decayed. (It can't block. When it attacks, sacrifice it at end of combat.)

Infernius Spawnington III, Esq.

Flying, first strike, trample, haste
This spell costs {3} less to cast for each card you've revealed this turn.
When this creature enters, you may say "I'm here." If you do, it deals 3 damage to target player.

Lotus Petal

{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.

Demonic Bargain

Exile the top thirteen cards of your library, then search your library for a card. Put that card into your hand, then shuffle.

Ormacar, Relic Wraith

Vigilance, menace, lifelink
Precious (You can have two commanders if the other one is a legendary noncreature artifact.)
As long as you control your Precious, Ormacar gets +X/+X, where X is the mana value of your Precious.

Arcane Signet

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Lightning Greaves

Equipped creature has haste and shroud. (It can't be the target of spells or abilities.)
Equip {0}

Geode Golem

Trample
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, you may cast your commander from the command zone without paying its mana cost. (You still pay any additional costs.)

Wishclaw Talisman

This artifact enters with three wish counters on it.
{1}, {T}, Remove a wish counter from this artifact: Search your library for a card, put it into your hand, then shuffle. An opponent gains control of this artifact. Activate only during your turn.

Hullbreaker Horror

Flash
This spell can't be countered.
Whenever you cast a spell, choose up to one —
• Return target spell you don't control to its owner's hand.
• Return target nonland permanent to its owner's hand.

Revel in Riches

Whenever a creature an opponent controls dies, create a Treasure token. (It's an artifact with "{T}, Sacrifice this token: Add one mana of any color.")
At the beginning of your upkeep, if you control ten or more Treasures, you win the game.

Phyrexian Altar

Sacrifice a creature: Add one mana of any color.

Rings a Bell

As this enchantment enters, choose a word with four or more letters.
After you say the chosen word for the first time each turn, an opponent may ring or imitate a bell within five seconds. When no opponent does, draw a card.

Dream Halls

Rather than pay the mana cost for a spell, its controller may discard a card that shares a color with that spell.

Ashnod's Altar

Mechanized Production

Enchant artifact you control
At the beginning of your upkeep, create a token that's a copy of enchanted artifact. Then if you control eight or more artifacts with the same name as one another, you win the game.

Krark's Thumb

If you would flip a coin, instead flip two coins and ignore one.

As long as X is in X's owner's opponent's hand, X's owner may cast X and activate X's abilities. That opponent can't cast X and plays with their hand revealed.
{U}{B}, {T}: Put X into target opponent's hand.
{3}{U}{B}: You may play a land or cast a spell from the hand X is in. If you cast a spell this way, you cast it without paying its mana cost.

Rogue's Passage

{T}: Add {C}.
{4}, {T}: Target creature can't be blocked this turn.

Ashnod's Coupon

{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Target player gets you target drink. You pay any costs for the drink.

Dimir Aqueduct

This land enters tapped.
When this land enters, return a land you control to its owner's hand.
{T}: Add {U}{B}.

Extremely Slow Zombie

Last strike (This creature deals combat damage after creatures without last strike.)

Island

Dramatic Reversal

Untap all nonland permanents you control.

Illusionist's Bracers

Whenever an ability of equipped creature is activated, if it isn't a mana ability, copy that ability. You may choose new targets for the copy.
Equip {3}

Isochron Scepter

Imprint — When this artifact enters, you may exile an instant card with mana value 2 or less from your hand.
{2}, {T}: You may copy the exiled card. If you do, you may cast the copy without paying its mana cost.

Gravecrawler

This creature can't block.
You may cast this card from your graveyard as long as you control a Zombie.

Censorship

As this enchantment enters, choose a word.
Whenever a player says the chosen word, this enchantment deals 2 damage to that player.

Helm of the Host

At the beginning of combat on your turn, create a token that's a copy of equipped creature, except the token isn't legendary. That token gains haste.
Equip {5}

Question Elemental?

Did you know this creature has flying?
Are you aware that any time you say something that isn't a question, when a player points out this fact first, they gain control of this creature?

Whispersilk Cloak

Equipped creature can't be blocked and has shroud. (It can't be the target of spells or abilities.)
Equip {2}

Sword of Body and Mind

Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has protection from green and from blue.
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, you create a 2/2 green Wolf creature token and that player mills ten cards.
Equip {2}

Chromatic Orrery

You may spend mana as though it were mana of any color.
{T}: Add {C}{C}{C}{C}{C}.
{5}, {T}: Draw a card for each color among permanents you control.

Diabolic Tutor

Search your library for a card, put that card into your hand, then shuffle.

Kill! Destroy!

Destroy target nonblack creature.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "kill" or "destroy," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Kill! Destroy! from your graveyard to your hand.

Dimir Guildgate

This land enters tapped.
{T}: Add {U} or {B}.

Demonic Tutor

Swiftfoot Boots

Equipped creature has hexproof and haste. (It can't be the target of spells or abilities your opponents control. It can attack and {T} no matter when it came under your control.)
Equip {1} ({1}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Rooftop Storm

You may pay {0} rather than pay the mana cost for Zombie creature spells you cast.

Diregraf Colossus

This creature enters with a +1/+1 counter on it for each Zombie card in your graveyard.
Whenever you cast a Zombie spell, create a tapped 2/2 black Zombie creature token.

Graveshifter

Changeling (This card is every creature type.)
When this creature enters, you may return target creature card from your graveyard to your hand.

Hammer of Nazahn

Whenever Hammer of Nazahn or another Equipment you control enters, you may attach that Equipment to target creature you control.
Equipped creature gets +2/+0 and has indestructible.
Equip {4}

Dimir Infiltrator

This creature can't be blocked.
Transmute {1}{U}{B} ({1}{U}{B}, Discard this card: Search your library for a card with the same mana value as this card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle. Transmute only as a sorcery.)

Reliquary Tower

You have no maximum hand size.
{T}: Add {C}.

Tidewater Minion

Defender (This creature can't attack.)
{4}: This creature loses defender until end of turn.
{T}: Untap target permanent.

Sword of Feast and Famine

Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has protection from black and from green.
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, that player discards a card and you untap all lands you control.
Equip {2}

Johnny, Combo Player

{4}: Search your library for a card, put that card into your hand, then shuffle.