Hydradoodle

As this creature enters, roll X six-sided dice. This creature enters with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the total of those results.
Reach, trample

Oddly Uneven

Choose one —
• Destroy each creature with an odd number of words in its name. (Hyphenated words are one word.)
• Destroy each creature with an even number of words in its name.

Watermarket

{T}: Add {C}{C}. Spend this mana only to cast spells with watermarks.

Charm School

As this enchantment enters, choose a color and balance this enchantment on your head.
Prevent all damage that would be dealt to you by sources of the chosen color.
When this enchantment falls off your head, sacrifice this enchantment.

Clocknapper

When this creature enters, choose beginning phase, first main phase, combat phase, postcombat main phase, or ending phase. Steal that phase from target player during their next turn. (That phase occurs as though it's your turn instead.)

Clifftop Retreat

This land enters tapped unless you control a Mountain or a Plains.
{T}: Add {R} or {W}.

Simic Growth Chamber

This land enters tapped.
When this land enters, return a land you control to its owner's hand.
{T}: Add {G}{U}.

Blurry Beeble

Blurry (This creature can be blocked only if defending player was wearing glasses as it was cast.)
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, you may draw a card. If you do, discard a card.

Wordmail

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +1/+1 for each word in its name.

Azorius Chancery

This land enters tapped.
When this land enters, return a land you control to its owner's hand.
{T}: Add {W}{U}.

Spell Counter

Counter target spell.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "spell" or "counter," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Spell Counter from your graveyard to your hand.

Alexander Clamilton

Whenever you cast a wordy spell, scry 2. (A spell is wordy if it has four or more lines of rules text.)
{1}{R}, {T}: Choose target creature you don't control. Reveal the top card of your library. Alexander Clamilton gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the number of lines of rules text of the revealed card. Alexander Clamilton fights that creature.

More or Less

Add or subtract 1 or one from a number or number word on target spell or permanent until end of turn.

Gruul Turf

This land enters tapped.
When this land enters, return a land you control to its owner's hand.
{T}: Add {R}{G}.

Canopy Vista

({T}: Add {G} or {W}.)
This land enters tapped unless you control two or more basic lands.

Free-for-All

When this enchantment enters, exile all creatures face down.
At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player chooses a card exiled with this enchantment at random and puts it onto the battlefield.
When this enchantment leaves the battlefield, put all cards exiled with it into their owners' graveyards.

Side to Side

You and target opponent arm-wrestle. If you win, create a 3/3 green Ape creature token.

Burning Cinder Fury of Crimson Chaos Fire

Whenever any player taps a permanent, that player chooses one of their opponents. The chosen player gains control of that permanent at the beginning of the next end step.
At the beginning of each player's end step, if that player didn't tap any nonland permanents that turn, this enchantment deals 3 damage to that player.

Bronze Calendar

Spells you cast cost {1} less to cast.
You must speak in a voice other than your normal voice.
When you speak in your normal voice, sacrifice this artifact.

Boomstacker

As this creature enters and whenever it attacks, stack two dice on top of it. (All dice must be stacked vertically, one on top of another.)
This creature gets +1/+1 for each die in its stack.
This creature attacks each combat if able.
When the stack falls, sacrifice this creature.

GO TO JAIL

When this enchantment enters, exile target creature an opponent controls until this enchantment leaves the battlefield.
At the beginning of the upkeep of the exiled card's owner, that player rolls two six-sided dice. If they roll doubles, sacrifice this enchantment.

Underdome

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to pay Un-costs.

Evolving Wilds

{T}, Sacrifice this land: Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Forbidden Orchard

{T}: Add one mana of any color.
Whenever you tap this land for mana, target opponent creates a 1/1 colorless Spirit creature token.

Mirror Mirror

This artifact enters tapped.
{7}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Choose target player. At the beginning of the next end step, exchange life totals with that player, exchange control of all permanents you and that player control, and exchange cards in your hands, cards in your libraries, and cards in your graveyards.

Psychic Network

Each player plays with the top card of their library held against their forehead, revealed to each other player.

Handy Dandy Clone Machine

{2}, {T}: Create a 2/2 colorless Homunculus creature token. It must be represented by a unique hand and two fingers at all times, or it ceases to exist.

Boros Garrison

This land enters tapped.
When this land enters, return a land you control to its owner's hand.
{T}: Add {R}{W}.

Entirely Normal Armchair

During your turn, if this card is in your hand, you may hide it on the battlefield.
{0}: Return this artifact to its owner's hand. Only your opponents may activate this ability and only if they see this artifact.
{2}, Sacrifice this artifact: Destroy target attacking creature.

Jungle Shrine

This land enters tapped.
{T}: Add {R}, {G}, or {W}.

Cinder Glade

({T}: Add {R} or {G}.)
This land enters tapped unless you control two or more basic lands.

Exotic Orchard

{T}: Add one mana of any color that a land an opponent controls could produce.

Plains

Cheatyface

If Cheatyface is in your hand, you may sneak Cheatyface onto the battlefield. If an opponent catches you right away, that player may exile Cheatyface.
Flying

Modular Monstrosity

Whenever an opponent casts a spell, you have five seconds to choose a keyword you haven't chosen for a card named Modular Monstrosity today that's been printed on a creature card. If you do, this creature gains that ability. Otherwise, this creature loses all keyword abilities.

Izzet Boilerworks

This land enters tapped.
When this land enters, return a land you control to its owner's hand.
{T}: Add {U}{R}.

B-I-N-G-O

Trample
Whenever a player casts a spell, put a chip counter on its mana value.
This creature gets +9/+9 for each set of three numbers in a row with chip counters on them.

Frazzled Editor

Protection from wordy (Something is wordy if it has four or more lines of rules text.)

Ineffable Blessing

As this enchantment enters, choose white-bordered or silver-bordered.
Whenever a creature you control with the chosen border enters, draw a card.

Face to Face

You and target opponent play a best two-out-of-three Rock, Paper, Scissors match. If you win, Face to Face deals 5 damage to that player.

Topsy Turvy

The phases of each player's turn are reversed. (The phases are, in reverse order, ending, second main, combat, first main, and beginning.)
As long as there are more than two players in the game, the turn order is reversed.

The Grand Calcutron

When The Grand Calcutron enters, each player's hand becomes a program (an ordered row of revealed cards).
Players can play only the first card of their program.
If a card would be put into a player's hand from anywhere, that player reveals it and places it anywhere within their program instead.
At the beginning of each player's end step, if that player's program has fewer than five cards, they draw cards equal to the difference.
The Grand Calcutron can be your commander.

Knight of the Hokey Pokey

First strike
{1}{W}, Do the Hokey Pokey: Prevent all damage a source of your choice would deal to this creature this turn. (To do the Hokey Pokey, choose an arm, a leg, or your whole self and put it in. Put it out. Put it in. Shake it all about. You do the Hokey Pokey! Turn yourself around.)

Selesnya Sanctuary

This land enters tapped.
When this land enters, return a land you control to its owner's hand.
{T}: Add {G}{W}.

_____

{1}: This card's name becomes the card name of your choice. Activate anywhere, anytime.

Spy Eye

Flying
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, you may draw a card from that player's library.

Letter Bomb

When this artifact enters, sign it and shuffle it into target player's library. That player reveals each card they draw until they draw this card. When that player draws this card, it deals 19½ damage to them.

Atinlay Igpay

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Graveyard Busybody

All graveyards are also your graveyards.
Graveyard Busybody's power and toughness are each equal to the number of cards with flavor text in your graveyards.

Rules Lawyer

State-based actions don't apply to you or other permanents you control. (You don't lose the game due to having 0 or less life or drawing from an empty library. Your creatures aren't destroyed due to damage or deathtouch and aren't put into a graveyard due to having 0 or less toughness. Your planeswalkers aren't put into a graveyard if they have 0 loyalty. You don't put a legendary permanent into a graveyard if you control two with the same name. Counters aren't removed from your permanents due to game rules. Permanents you control attached or combined illegally remain on the battlefield. For complete rules and regulations, see rule 704.)

Gleemax

You choose all targets for all spells and abilities.

Animate Library

Enchant your library
Enchanted library is an artifact creature on the battlefield with power and toughness each equal to the number of cards in it. It's still a library.
If enchanted library would leave the battlefield, exile this Aura instead.

Head to Head

You and target opponent play Seven Questions with the top card of that player's library. If you win, prevent all damage that would be dealt this turn by a source of your choice. (To play Seven Questions, that player looks at the card, then you ask up to six yes-or-no questions about the card that they answer truthfully. You guess the card's name—that's question seven—then the player reveals the card.)

Rings a Bell

As this enchantment enters, choose a word with four or more letters.
After you say the chosen word for the first time each turn, an opponent may ring or imitate a bell within five seconds. When no opponent does, draw a card.

Mouth to Mouth

Choose target opponent and target creature they control. You and that player have a breath-holding contest. If you win, you gain control of that creature.

Cardpecker

Flying
Gotcha — If an opponent touches the table with their hand, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return this card from your graveyard to your hand.

Very Cryptic Command

Choose two —
• Scry 3.
• Create a 2/2 black Rogue creature token with menace.
• Add or subtract 1 or one from a number or number word on target spell or permanent until end of turn.
• Return all artifacts target player controls to their owner's hand.

Forest

Pygmy Giant

{R}, {T}, Sacrifice a creature: This creature deals X damage to target creature, where X is a number in the sacrificed creature's text box.

Command Tower

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Do-It-Yourself Seraph

Flying
Whenever this creature attacks, you may search your library for an artifact card, exile it, then shuffle.
This creature has the text box of each card exiled with this creature in addition to its own.

Squirrel Farm

{1}{G}: Reveal a card in your hand, covering the artist credit. Target opponent guesses the artist. If they guess wrong, create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token.

Ashnod's Coupon

{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Target player gets you target drink. You pay any costs for the drink.

Water Gun Balloon Game

As this artifact enters, each player puts a pop! counter on "0."
Whenever a player casts a spell, move that player's pop! counter up one.
Whenever a player's pop! counter hits "5," that player creates a 5/5 pink Giant Teddy Bear creature token and resets all pop! counters to "0."

My First Tome

{1}, {T}: Say the flavor text on a card in your hand. Target opponent guesses that card's name. You may reveal that card. If you do and they guessed wrong, you draw a card.

Frontier Bivouac

This land enters tapped.
{T}: Add {G}, {U}, or {R}.

Common Courtesy

Whenever a player casts a spell without asking your permission while casting it, counter that spell.
When a player asks you permission to cast a spell and you refuse, counter that spell and sacrifice this enchantment.

Ambiguity

Whenever a player plays a spell that counters a spell that has been played or a player plays a spell that comes into play with counters, that player may counter the next spell played or put an additional counter on a permanent that has already been played, but not countered.

Mystic Monastery

This land enters tapped.
{T}: Add {U}, {R}, or {W}.

Prairie Stream

({T}: Add {W} or {U}.)
This land enters tapped unless you control two or more basic lands.

Avatar of Me

This spell costs {1} more to cast for each ten years you've been alive.
Avatar of Me's power is equal to your height in feet and its toughness is equal to your American shoe size. Round to the nearest ½.
Avatar of Me is the color of your eyes.

Frankie Peanuts

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may ask target player a yes-or-no question. If you do, that player answers the question truthfully and abides by that answer if able until end of turn.

Gerrymandering

Exile all lands. Give each player a number of those cards chosen at random equal to the number of those cards the player controlled. Each player returns those cards to the battlefield under their control.

Now I Know My ABC's

At the beginning of your upkeep, if you control permanents with names that include all twenty-six letters of the English alphabet, you win the game.

R&D's Secret Lair

Play cards as written. Ignore all errata.
{T}: Add {C}. (This mana is still added to your mana pool.)

Island

Infinity Elemental

Seaside Citadel

This land enters tapped.
{T}: Add {G}, {W}, or {U}.

Censorship

As this enchantment enters, choose a word.
Whenever a player says the chosen word, this enchantment deals 2 damage to that player.

I'm Rubber, You're Glue

When you speak in non-rhyming sentences, sacrifice this enchantment.
Say "I'm rubber, you're glue. Everything bounces off me and sticks to you": Change the target of target spell or ability that targets only you.

Flavor Judge

{T}: Choose target spell or ability that targets a permanent you control. Then ask a person outside the game if the story of what will happen makes sense. If they say no, sacrifice this creature and counter that spell or ability.

Hot Fix

You have ten seconds to look at and rearrange the cards in your library. At the end of those ten seconds, if you're touching one or more of those cards, shuffle.

Transguild Promenade

This land enters tapped.
When this land enters, sacrifice it unless you pay {1}.
{T}: Add one mana of any color.

Kynaios and Tiro of Meletis

At the beginning of your end step, draw a card. Each player may put a land card from their hand onto the battlefield, then each opponent who didn't draws a card.

Rupture Spire

Split Screen

When this artifact enters, shuffle your library and deal it into four libraries. If anything refers to your library, choose one of your libraries for it.
Play with your libraries' top cards revealed.
When this artifact leaves the battlefield, shuffle your libraries together.

Terramorphic Expanse

Mountain

Three-Headed Goblin

Triple strike (This creature deals first-strike, regular, and last-strike combat damage.)

Yet Another Aether Vortex

All creatures have haste.
Players play with the top card of their libraries revealed.
Noninstant, nonsorcery cards on top of a library are on the battlefield under their owner's control in addition to being in that library.

Kindslaver

{5}, {T}, Sacrifice Kindslaver: A person outside the game controls target player during that player's next turn. Neither player may advise that person until the end of that turn.