Armillary Sphere

{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Search your library for up to two basic land cards, reveal them, put them into your hand, then shuffle.

AWOL

Exile target attacking creature. Then remove it from the game. Then put it into the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game-forever zone.

Impounding Lot-Bot

When this creature enters, you may say "INCARCERATE!" in a robot voice. If you do, exile another target artifact or enchantment until this creature leaves the battlefield.

Mountain

Fire Diamond

This artifact enters tapped.
{T}: Add {R}.

Sol Ring

Park Map

{1}, Sacrifice this artifact: Search your library for a land card that doesn't have the same art as a permanent you control, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Chaos

Order

Order // Chaos

Carnival Barker

{T}: You have thirty seconds to laud a creature you control to any people outside the game. Until end of turn, that creature gains trample and haste and gets +X/+0, where X is the number of those people who applauded. Activate only as a sorcery and only once.

Pietra, Crafter of Clowns

Haste
Robots you control get +1/+1.
{R}{W}, {T}, Tell a joke you haven't told this game to someone outside the game: Create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token. If that person laughed, the token gains haste until end of turn.

Pie-roclasm

This creature deals π damage to each non-Clown creature. (How to calculate π isn't important. It's a smidgen more than 3.)

Omniclown Colossus

Affinity for Clowns (This spell costs {1} less to cast for each Clown you control.)
Trample

Omniclown Colossus // Pie-roclasm

Abstract Iguanart

Whenever you cast a spell, note the first letter of its artist's name. If that letter wasn't already noted, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature.

Trapeze Artist

Flying
This creature enters by being flipped from a height of at least one foot (about 0.3 meters). If it lands face down or didn't turn over completely at least once during the flip, return it to its owner's hand.

Chicken Egg

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. If you roll a 6, sacrifice this creature and create a 4/4 red Giant Bird creature token.

Knight of the Hokey Pokey

First strike
{1}{W}, Do the Hokey Pokey: Prevent all damage a source of your choice would deal to this creature this turn. (To do the Hokey Pokey, choose an arm, a leg, or your whole self and put it in. Put it out. Put it in. Shake it all about. You do the Hokey Pokey! Turn yourself around.)

Strategy, Schmategy

Roll a six-sided die. Strategy, Schmategy has the indicated effect.
1 — Do nothing.
2 — Destroy all artifacts.
3 — Destroy all lands.
4 — Strategy, Schmategy deals 3 damage to each creature and each player.
5 — Each player discards their hand and draws seven cards.
6 — Repeat this process two more times.

One-Clown Band

{2}{R}: Target Robot gets +2/+0 until end of turn.

Circuits Act

Roll three six-sided dice. For each different result, create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token.

Emcee

Whenever another creature enters, you may stand up and say in a deep, booming voice, "Presenting . . . " and that creature's name. If you do, put a +1/+1 counter on that creature.

Temple of Triumph

This land enters tapped.
When this land enters, scry 1. (Look at the top card of your library. You may put that card on the bottom.)
{T}: Add {R} or {W}.

Oddly Uneven

Choose one —
• Destroy each creature with an odd number of words in its name. (Hyphenated words are one word.)
• Destroy each creature with an even number of words in its name.

Boros Charm

Choose one —
• Boros Charm deals 4 damage to target player or planeswalker.
• Permanents you control gain indestructible until end of turn.
• Target creature gains double strike until end of turn.

Rip Apart

Choose one —
• Rip Apart deals 3 damage to target creature or planeswalker.
• Destroy target artifact or enchantment.

Look at Me, I'm R&D

As this enchantment enters, choose a number and a second number one higher or one lower than the first number.
All instances of the first chosen number in the full text of each permanent, spell, and card in any zone are changed to the second chosen number.

Devil K. Nevil

Haste
When Devil K. Nevil enters, jump it over any number of creatures. If it clears those creatures, put that many +1/+1 counters on it. (You can see a jumping demonstration at DevilKNevil.com.)

Marble Diamond

This artifact enters tapped.
{T}: Add {W}.

Non-Human Cannonball

When this creature dies, roll a six-sided die. If the result is 4 or less, this creature deals that much damage to you.

Miss Demeanor

Flying, first strike
At the beginning of each other player's upkeep, you may compliment that player on their game play. If you don't, sacrifice this creature.

Underdome

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to pay Un-costs.

Flavor Judge

{T}: Choose target spell or ability that targets a permanent you control. Then ask a person outside the game if the story of what will happen makes sense. If they say no, sacrifice this creature and counter that spell or ability.

Plains

Wordmail

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +1/+1 for each word in its name.

T.A.P.P.E.R.

{T}, Tap an untapped creature you control that has a hat: Tap target creature.

Expedition Map

{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Search your library for a land card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Look at Me, I'm the DCI

Ban a card other than a basic land card for the rest of the match. (All cards with that name in any zone or sideboard are removed from the match.)

Command Tower

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Infinity Elemental

Clowning Around

Create two 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature tokens, then roll a six-sided die. If the result is equal to or less than the number of Robots you control, create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token.

Mind Stone

{T}: Add {C}.
{1}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Draw a card.

Rules Lawyer

State-based actions don't apply to you or other permanents you control. (You don't lose the game due to having 0 or less life or drawing from an empty library. Your creatures aren't destroyed due to damage or deathtouch and aren't put into a graveyard due to having 0 or less toughness. Your planeswalkers aren't put into a graveyard if they have 0 loyalty. You don't put a legendary permanent into a graveyard if you control two with the same name. Counters aren't removed from your permanents due to game rules. Permanents you control attached or combined illegally remain on the battlefield. For complete rules and regulations, see rule 704.)

Gobsmacked

Enchant nonland permanent
As this Aura enters, choose a person outside the game.
As long as you can see the chosen person from your seat, enchanted permanent can't attack or block, and its activated abilities can't be activated.

Red-Hot Hottie

Whenever this creature deals damage to a creature, put a third-degree-burn counter on that creature. It gains "At the beginning of each end step, sacrifice this creature unless you scream 'Aaah!' at the top of your lungs."

Study Break

Tap up to two target creatures.
Learn. (You may reveal a Lesson card you own from outside the game and put it into your hand, or discard a card to draw a card.)

Boros Signet

Foundry Helix

As an additional cost to cast this spell, sacrifice a permanent.
Foundry Helix deals 4 damage to any target. If the sacrificed permanent was an artifact, you gain 4 life.

Mesa Chicken

Stand up, Flap your arms, Cluck like a chicken: This creature gains flying until end of turn.

Darksteel Citadel

Gift of Estates

If an opponent controls more lands than you, search your library for up to three Plains cards, reveal them, put them into your hand, then shuffle.

Swiftfoot Boots

Equipped creature has hexproof and haste. (It can't be the target of spells or abilities your opponents control. It can attack and {T} no matter when it came under your control.)
Equip {1} ({1}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Surprise Party

When this enchantment enters, yell "Surprise!" and put onto the battlefield any number of printed Clown Robot tokens that aren't touching each other, that you hid on the battlefield before you cast this enchantment, and that weren't spotted by an opponent before you cast this enchantment.
Robots you control get +1/+0 and have vigilance.

GO TO JAIL

When this enchantment enters, exile target creature an opponent controls until this enchantment leaves the battlefield.
At the beginning of the upkeep of the exiled card's owner, that player rolls two six-sided dice. If they roll doubles, sacrifice this enchantment.

Leading Performance

Choose two letters. Put a +1/+1 counter on each creature you control whose name begins with either of the chosen letters.

Madblind Mountain

({T}: Add {R}.)
This land enters tapped.
{R}, {T}: Shuffle your library. Activate only if you control two or more red permanents.

Just Desserts

Just Desserts deals π damage to target creature. (π is the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter. (It's a smidgen more than 3.))

Frazzled Editor

Protection from wordy (Something is wordy if it has four or more lines of rules text.)

Commander's Sphere

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.
Sacrifice this artifact: Draw a card.

Clay Pigeon

Flying
{1}, Throw this creature into the air at least two feet above your head while seated: If you catch this creature with one hand, prevent all damage a source of your choice would deal to you this turn and tap this creature. Otherwise, sacrifice it.

Toy Boat

Cumulative upkeep—Say "Toy Boat" quickly. (At the beginning of your upkeep, put an age counter on this creature, then sacrifice it unless you say "Toy Boat" once for each age counter on it—without pausing between or fumbling it.)

Tear

Destroy target enchantment.
Fuse (You may cast one or both halves of this card from your hand.)

Wear

Destroy target artifact.
Fuse (You may cast one or both halves of this card from your hand.)

Wear // Tear

Intervention

Intervention deals 3 damage to any target and you gain 3 life.

Integrity

Target creature gets +2/+2 until end of turn.

Integrity // Intervention

Great Furnace

Assembled Ensemble

Vigilance
Assembled Ensemble's power is equal to the number of Robots you control.
Whenever you cast a spell with an artifact creature in its art, create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token.

Stet, Draconic Proofreader

Flying
Whenever Stet attacks, you may exile a card from your graveyard. When you do, Stet deals 4 damage to any target whose name begins with the same letter as the exiled card.
{W}: Delete the first letter of target permanent or player's name until end of turn.

Ancient Den

Ticking Mime Bomb

When this creature enters, without speaking or indicating any specific creature, pantomime to a person outside the game, then they choose a creature you don't control. This creature deals damage equal to twice the number of Robots you control to the chosen creature.

Lorehold Campus

This land enters tapped.
{T}: Add {R} or {W}.
{4}, {T}: Scry 1.

Lexivore

Whenever this creature deals damage to a player, destroy target permanent other than this creature with the most lines of text in its text box. (If two or more cards are tied, target any one of them.)

Do-It-Yourself Seraph

Flying
Whenever this creature attacks, you may search your library for an artifact card, exile it, then shuffle.
This creature has the text box of each card exiled with this creature in addition to its own.

Punctuate

Punctuate deals damage to target creature equal to half the number of punctuation marks in that creature's text box. (The punctuation marks are ! ? , ; : - — ( ) / " " ' ' & .)

Ebony Fly

This artifact enters tapped.
{T}: Add {C}.
{4}: Roll a d6. Until end of turn, you may have this artifact become an X/X Insect artifact creature with flying, where X is the result.
Whenever this artifact attacks, another target attacking creature gains flying until end of turn.

Yet Another Aether Vortex

All creatures have haste.
Players play with the top card of their libraries revealed.
Noninstant, nonsorcery cards on top of a library are on the battlefield under their owner's control in addition to being in that library.

Burnished Hart

{3}, Sacrifice this creature: Search your library for up to two basic land cards, put them onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

My First Tome

{1}, {T}: Say the flavor text on a card in your hand. Target opponent guesses that card's name. You may reveal that card. If you do and they guessed wrong, you draw a card.

Goblin Tutor

Roll a six-sided die. If you roll a 1, Goblin Tutor has no effect. Otherwise, search your library for the indicated card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.
2 — A card named Goblin Tutor
3 — An enchantment
4 — An artifact
5 — A creature
6 — An instant or sorcery

Boros Guildgate

This land enters tapped.
{T}: Add {R} or {W}.

Boros Garrison

This land enters tapped.
When this land enters, return a land you control to its owner's hand.
{T}: Add {R}{W}.

Frankie Peanuts

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may ask target player a yes-or-no question. If you do, that player answers the question truthfully and abides by that answer if able until end of turn.

The Big Top

{T}: Add one mana of any color that appears on your top. (A top is an outerwear garment worn on the upper body.)

Prismatic Wardrobe

Destroy target nonartifact, nonland permanent that doesn't share a color with clothing worn by its controller.