29
3/19/2025
I Wish This Was Phage
Deck Size: 100
Commander
Legal
Est deck cost: $432.80
Salt sum: 36.59
No deck tags
29
3/19/2025
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Commander

Qty: 1 Price: $11.99
Virtus the Veiled

Partner with Gorm the Great (When this creature enters, target player may put Gorm into their hand from their library, then shuffle.) Deathtouch Whenever Virtus deals combat damage to a player, that player loses half their life, rounded up.

Creature
Virtus the Veiled (plst) BBD-7

Commander

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Gear To Make Blocking Suck

Qty: 6 Price: $22.32
Blade of the Oni

Menace Equipped creature has base power and toughness 5/5, has menace, and is a black Demon in addition to its other colors and types. Reconfigure {2}{B}{B} ({2}{B}{B}: Attach to target creature you control; or unattach from a creature. Reconfigure only as a sorcery. While attached, this isn't a creature.)

Creature Artifact
Blade of the Oni (neo) 89
Haunted Cloak

Equipped creature has vigilance, trample, and haste. Equip {1} ({1}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Artifact
Haunted Cloak (cmm) 389
Lost Jitte

Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage, put a charge counter on Lost Jitte. Remove a charge counter from Lost Jitte: Choose one — • Untap target land. • Target creature can't block this turn. • Put a +1/+1 counter on equipped creature. Equip {1}

Artifact
Lost Jitte (big) 23
Rune of Mortality

Enchant permanent When this Aura enters, draw a card. As long as enchanted permanent is a creature, it has deathtouch. As long as enchanted permanent is an Equipment, it has "Equipped creature has deathtouch."

Enchantment
Rune of Mortality (khm) 108
Trailblazer's Torch

When this Equipment enters, you take the initiative. Whenever equipped creature becomes blocked, it deals 2 damage to each creature blocking it. Equip {1} ({1}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Artifact
Trailblazer's Torch (clb) 340
Umezawa's Jitte

Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage, put two charge counters on Umezawa's Jitte. Remove a charge counter from Umezawa's Jitte: Choose one — • Equipped creature gets +2/+2 until end of turn. • Target creature gets -1/-1 until end of turn. • You gain 2 life. Equip {2}

Artifact
Umezawa's Jitte (plst) BOK-163

Gear To Make Blocking Suck

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You Don't Get to Choose

Qty: 4 Price: $22.82
Brotherhood Regalia

Equipped creature has ward {2}, is an Assassin in addition to its other types, and can't be blocked. Equip legendary creature {1} Equip {3} ({3}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Artifact
Brotherhood Regalia (acr) 71
Key to the City

{T}, Discard a card: Up to one target creature can't be blocked this turn. Whenever this artifact becomes untapped, you may pay {2}. If you do, draw a card.

Artifact
Key to the City (c21) 248
Silver Shroud Costume

Flash When this Equipment enters, attach it to target creature you control. That creature gains shroud until end of turn. (It can't be the target of spells or abilities.) Equipped creature can't be blocked. Equip {3}

Artifact
Silver Shroud Costume (pip) 142
Thieves' Tools

When this Equipment enters, create a Treasure token. (It's an artifact with "{T}, Sacrifice this token: Add one mana of any color.") Equipped creature can't be blocked as long as its power is 3 or less. Equip {2} ({2}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Artifact
Thieves' Tools (j25) 126

You Don't Get to Choose

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Attacking Me Sucks

Qty: 5 Price: $46.95
Ashnod, Flesh Mechanist

Deathtouch Whenever Ashnod attacks, you may sacrifice another creature. If you do, create a tapped Powerstone token. {5}, Exile a creature card from your graveyard: Create a tapped 3/3 colorless Zombie artifact creature token.

Creature
Ashnod, Flesh Mechanist (bro) 84
Crawlspace

No more than two creatures can attack you each combat.

Artifact
Crawlspace (dmr) 217
Koskun Falls

At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice this enchantment unless you tap an untapped creature you control. Creatures can't attack you unless their controller pays {2} for each creature they control that's attacking you.

Enchantment
Koskun Falls (hml) 55
No Mercy

Whenever a creature deals damage to you, destroy it.

Enchantment
No Mercy (dmr) 95
Ophiomancer

At the beginning of each upkeep, if you control no Snakes, create a 1/1 black Snake creature token with deathtouch.

Creature
Ophiomancer (mh3) 276

Attacking Me Sucks

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General Casting

Qty: 2 Price: $8.98
Hex Parasite

{X}{B/P}: Remove up to X counters from target permanent. For each counter removed this way, this creature gets +1/+0 until end of turn. ({B/P} can be paid with either {B} or 2 life.)

Creature Artifact
Hex Parasite (nph) 137
Thieving Varmint

Deathtouch, lifelink {T}, Pay 1 life: Add two mana of any one color. Spend this mana only to cast spells you don't own.

Creature
Thieving Varmint (otc) 23

General Casting

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You Thought the Blocks Were Good

Qty: 7 Price: $15.09
Call of the Death-Dweller

Return up to two target creature cards with total mana value 3 or less from your graveyard to the battlefield. Put a deathtouch counter on either of them. Then put a menace counter on either of them.

Sorcery
Call of the Death-Dweller (iko) 78
Dark Dabbling

Regenerate target creature. Draw a card. (The next time the creature would be destroyed this turn, instead tap it, remove it from combat, and heal all damage on it.) Spell mastery — If there are two or more instant and/or sorcery cards in your graveyard, also regenerate each other creature you control.

Instant
Dark Dabbling (plst) ORI-89
Feign Death

Until end of turn, target creature gains "When this creature dies, return it to the battlefield tapped under its owner's control with a +1/+1 counter on it."

Instant
Feign Death (afr) 103
From the Catacombs

Put target creature card from a graveyard onto the battlefield under your control with a corpse counter on it. You take the initiative. If that creature would leave the battlefield, exile it instead of putting it anywhere else. Escape—{3}{B}{B}, Exile five other cards from your graveyard. (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its escape cost.)

Sorcery
From the Catacombs (clb) 671
Malakir Rebirth

Instant
Malakir Rebirth // Malakir Mire (znr) 111Malakir Rebirth // Malakir Mire (znr) 111
Not Dead After All

Until end of turn, target creature you control gains "When this creature dies, return it to the battlefield tapped under its owner's control, then create a Wicked Role token attached to it." (Enchanted creature gets +1/+1. When this token is put into a graveyard, each opponent loses 1 life.)

Instant
Not Dead After All (woe) 101
Undying Malice

Until end of turn, target creature gains "When this creature dies, return it to the battlefield tapped under its owner's control with a +1/+1 counter on it."

Instant
Undying Malice (vow) 134

You Thought the Blocks Were Good

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Blocking Sucks

Qty: 8 Price: $54.22
Dauthi Voidwalker

Shadow (This creature can block or be blocked by only creatures with shadow.) If a card would be put into an opponent's graveyard from anywhere, instead exile it with a void counter on it. {T}, Sacrifice this creature: Choose an exiled card an opponent owns with a void counter on it. You may play it this turn without paying its mana cost.

Creature
Dauthi Voidwalker (mh2) 81
Gisa, Glorious Resurrector

If a creature an opponent controls would die, exile it instead. At the beginning of your upkeep, put all creature cards exiled with Gisa onto the battlefield under your control. They gain decayed. (A creature with decayed can't block. When it attacks, sacrifice it at end of combat.)

Creature
Gisa, Glorious Resurrector (mid) 103
Kalitas, Traitor of Ghet

Lifelink If a nontoken creature an opponent controls would die, instead exile that card and create a 2/2 black Zombie creature token. {2}{B}, Sacrifice another Vampire or Zombie: Put two +1/+1 counters on Kalitas.

Creature
Kalitas, Traitor of Ghet (plst) OGW-86
Moira, Urborg Haunt

Menace Whenever Moira deals combat damage to a player, return to the battlefield target creature card in your graveyard that was put there from the battlefield this turn.

Creature
Moira, Urborg Haunt (dmc) 6
Phyrexian Obliterator

Trample Whenever a source deals damage to this creature, that source's controller sacrifices that many permanents of their choice.

Creature
Phyrexian Obliterator (one) 105
Ravenloft Adventurer

When this creature enters, you take the initiative. If a creature an opponent controls would die, instead exile it and put a hit counter on it. Whenever this creature attacks, if you've completed a dungeon, defending player loses 1 life for each card they own in exile with a hit counter on it.

Creature
Ravenloft Adventurer (clb) 142
Sudden Spoiling

Split second (As long as this spell is on the stack, players can't cast spells or activate abilities that aren't mana abilities.) Until end of turn, creatures target player controls lose all abilities and have base power and toughness 0/2.

Instant
Sudden Spoiling (tsr) 144
Toshiro Umezawa

Bushido 1 (Whenever this creature blocks or becomes blocked, it gets +1/+1 until end of turn.) Whenever a creature an opponent controls dies, you may cast target instant card from your graveyard. If that spell would be put into a graveyard, exile it instead.

Creature
Toshiro Umezawa (bok) 89

Blocking Sucks

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Land

Qty: 36 (37 w/ MDFC)Price: $45.10
Access Tunnel

{T}: Add {C}. {3}, {T}: Target creature with power 3 or less can't be blocked this turn.

Land
Access Tunnel (otc) 270
Avishkar Raceway

Start your engines! (If you have no speed, it starts at 1. It increases once on each of your turns when an opponent loses life. Max speed is 4.) {T}: Add {C}. Max speed — {3}, {T}, Discard a card: Draw a card.

Land
Avishkar Raceway (dft) 249
Blast Zone

This land enters with a charge counter on it. {T}: Add {C}. {X}{X}, {T}: Put X charge counters on this land. {3}, {T}, Sacrifice this land: Destroy each nonland permanent with mana value equal to the number of charge counters on this land.

Land
Blast Zone (cmm) 987
Bojuka Bog

This land enters tapped. When this land enters, exile target player's graveyard. {T}: Add {B}.

Land
Bojuka Bog (dsc) 265
Castle Locthwain

This land enters tapped unless you control a Swamp. {T}: Add {B}. {1}{B}{B}, {T}: Draw a card, then you lose life equal to the number of cards in your hand.

Land
Castle Locthwain (clb) 884
Demolition Field

{T}: Add {C}. {2}, {T}, Sacrifice this land: Destroy target nonbasic land an opponent controls. That land's controller may search their library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle. You may search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

Land
Demolition Field (otc) 283
Fountainport

{T}: Add {C}. {2}, {T}, Sacrifice a token: Draw a card. {3}, {T}, Pay 1 life: Create a 1/1 blue Fish creature token. {4}, {T}: Create a Treasure token.

Land
Fountainport (blb) 253
Rogue's Passage

{T}: Add {C}. {4}, {T}: Target creature can't be blocked this turn.

Land
Rogue's Passage (otc) 313
Spymaster's Vault

This land enters tapped unless you control a Swamp. {T}: Add {B}. {B}, {T}: Target creature you control connives X, where X is the number of creatures that died this turn. (Draw X cards, then discard X cards. Put a +1/+1 counter on that creature for each nonland card discarded this way.)

Land
Spymaster's Vault (mh3) 230
Swamp

({T}: Add {B}.)

Land
Swamp (dft) 283
The Black Gate

As The Black Gate enters, you may pay 3 life. If you don't, it enters tapped. {T}: Add {B}. {1}{B}, {T}: Choose a player with the most life or tied for most life. Target creature can't be blocked by creatures that player controls this turn.

Land
The Black Gate (ltc) 80
War Room

{T}: Add {C}. {3}, {T}, Pay life equal to the number of colors in your commanders' color identity: Draw a card.

Land
War Room (mkc) 310

Land

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Drain

Qty: 1 Price: $47.99
Bloodletter of Aclazotz

Flying If an opponent would lose life during your turn, they lose twice that much life instead. (Damage causes loss of life.)

Creature
Bloodletter of Aclazotz (lci) 92

Drain

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Not Blocking Sucks

Qty: 12 Price: $97.34
Archpriest of Shadows

Backup 1 (When this creature enters, put a +1/+1 counter on target creature. If that's another creature, it gains the following abilities until end of turn.) Deathtouch Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player or battle, return target creature card from your graveyard to the battlefield.

Creature
Archpriest of Shadows (mom) 89
Ayara's Oathsworn

Menace Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, if it has fewer than four +1/+1 counters on it, put a +1/+1 counter on it. Then if it has exactly four +1/+1 counters on it, search your library for a card, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Creature
Ayara's Oathsworn (mat) 11
Bismuth Mindrender

Devoid (This card has no color.) Menace Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, that player exiles cards from the top of their library until they exile a nonland card. You may cast that card by paying life equal to the spell's mana value rather than paying its mana cost.

Creature
Bismuth Mindrender (m3c) 51
Gas Guzzler

Start your engines! (If you have no speed, it starts at 1. It increases once on each of your turns when an opponent loses life. Max speed is 4.) This creature enters tapped. Max speed — {B}, Sacrifice another creature or Vehicle: Draw a card.

Creature
Gas Guzzler (dft) 85
Gix, Yawgmoth Praetor

Whenever a creature deals combat damage to one of your opponents, its controller may pay 1 life. If they do, they draw a card. {4}{B}{B}{B}, Discard X cards: Exile the top X cards of target opponent's library. You may play lands and cast spells from among cards exiled this way without paying their mana costs.

Creature
Gix, Yawgmoth Praetor (pbro) 95p
Gonti, Night Minister

Whenever a player casts a spell they don't own, that player creates a Treasure token. Whenever a creature deals combat damage to one of your opponents, its controller looks at the top card of that opponent's library and exiles it face down. They may play that card for as long as it remains exiled. Mana of any type can be spent to cast a spell this way.

Creature
Gonti, Night Minister (dft) 87
Grim Hireling

Whenever one or more creatures you control deal combat damage to a player, create two Treasure tokens. {B}, Sacrifice X Treasures: Target creature gets -X/-X until end of turn. Activate only as a sorcery.

Creature
Grim Hireling (clb) 755
Orochi Soul-Reaver

Ninjutsu {3}{B} ({3}{B}, Return an unblocked attacker you control to hand: Put this card onto the battlefield from your hand tapped and attacking.) Whenever one or more creatures you control deal combat damage to a player, create a Treasure token and manifest the top card of that player's library. (Put it onto the battlefield face down as a 2/2 creature. Turn it face up any time for its mana cost if it's a creature card.)

Creature
Orochi Soul-Reaver (otc) 22
Predators' Hour

Until end of turn, creatures you control gain menace and "Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, exile the top card of that player's library face down. You may look at and play that card for as long as it remains exiled, and you may spend mana as though it were mana of any color to cast that spell."

Sorcery
Predators' Hour (otc) 147
Rev, Tithe Extractor

Whenever you attack, target creature gains deathtouch until end of turn. Whenever one or more creatures you control deal combat damage to a player, create a Treasure token, then look at the top card of that player's library and exile it face down. You may cast that card for as long as it remains exiled. (A Treasure token is an artifact with "{T}, Sacrifice this token: Add one mana of any color.")

Creature
Rev, Tithe Extractor (j25) 45
Servant of the Stinger

Deathtouch Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, if you've committed a crime this turn, you may sacrifice this creature. If you do, search your library for a card, put it into your hand, then shuffle. (Targeting opponents, anything they control, and/or cards in their graveyards is a crime.)

Creature
Servant of the Stinger (otj) 105
Tinybones, the Pickpocket

Deathtouch Whenever Tinybones deals combat damage to a player, you may cast target nonland permanent card from that player's graveyard, and mana of any type can be spent to cast that spell.

Creature
Tinybones, the Pickpocket (otj) 109

Not Blocking Sucks

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Draw

Qty: 7 Price: $27.93
Caustic Bronco

Whenever this creature attacks, reveal the top card of your library and put it into your hand. You lose life equal to that card's mana value if this creature isn't saddled. Otherwise, each opponent loses that much life. Saddle 3 (Tap any number of other creatures you control with total power 3 or more: This Mount becomes saddled until end of turn. Saddle only as a sorcery.)

Creature
Caustic Bronco (otj) 82
Court of Locthwain

When this enchantment enters, you become the monarch. At the beginning of your upkeep, exile the top card of target opponent's library. You may play that card for as long as it remains exiled, and mana of any type can be spent to cast it. If you're the monarch, until end of turn, you may cast a spell from among cards exiled with this enchantment without paying its mana cost.

Enchantment
Court of Locthwain (woc) 23
Dark Confidant

At the beginning of your upkeep, reveal the top card of your library and put that card into your hand. You lose life equal to its mana value.

Creature
Dark Confidant (j25) 114
Deadly Dispute

As an additional cost to cast this spell, sacrifice an artifact or creature. Draw two cards and create a Treasure token. (It's an artifact with "{T}, Sacrifice this token: Add one mana of any color.")

Instant
Deadly Dispute (j25) 115
Evolved Sleeper

{B}: This creature becomes a Human Cleric with base power and toughness 2/2. {1}{B}: If this creature is a Cleric, put a deathtouch counter on it and it becomes a Phyrexian Human Cleric with base power and toughness 3/3. {1}{B}{B}: If this creature is a Phyrexian, put a +1/+1 counter on it, then you draw a card and you lose 1 life.

Creature
Evolved Sleeper (dmu) 93
Insatiable Avarice

Spree (Choose one or more additional costs.) + {2} — Search your library for a card, then shuffle and put that card on top. + {B}{B} — Target player draws three cards and loses 3 life.

Sorcery
Insatiable Avarice (otj) 91
Tenacious Underdog

Blitz—{2}{B}{B}, Pay 2 life. (If you cast this spell for its blitz cost, it gains haste and "When this creature dies, draw a card." Sacrifice it at the beginning of the next end step.) You may cast this card from your graveyard using its blitz ability.

Creature
Tenacious Underdog (snc) 97

Draw

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There is Nobody There to Block

Qty: 11 Price: $32.07
Chain Assassination

Freerunning {1}{B} (You may cast this spell for its freerunning cost if you dealt combat damage to a player this turn with an Assassin or commander.) Destroy target creature. If another creature died this turn, draw a card.

Instant
Chain Assassination (acr) 23
Feed the Swarm

Destroy target creature or enchantment an opponent controls. You lose life equal to that permanent's mana value.

Sorcery
Feed the Swarm (dsc) 78
Flare of Malice

You may sacrifice a nontoken black creature rather than pay this spell's mana cost. Each opponent sacrifices a creature or planeswalker with the greatest mana value among creatures and planeswalkers they control.

Instant
Flare of Malice (mh3) 95
Force of Despair

If it's not your turn, you may exile a black card from your hand rather than pay this spell's mana cost. Destroy all creatures that entered this turn.

Instant
Force of Despair (mh1) 92
Hero's Downfall

Destroy target creature or planeswalker.

Instant
Hero's Downfall (dmc) 112
Illness in the Ranks

Creature tokens get -1/-1.

Enchantment
Illness in the Ranks (gtc) 69
Snuff Out

If you control a Swamp, you may pay 4 life rather than pay this spell's mana cost. Destroy target nonblack creature. It can't be regenerated.

Instant
Snuff Out (mb2) 187
Soul Shatter

Each opponent sacrifices a creature or planeswalker with the highest mana value among creatures and planeswalkers they control.

Instant
Soul Shatter (scd) 108
Tetzimoc, Primal Death

Deathtouch {B}, Reveal this card from your hand: Put a prey counter on target creature. Activate only during your turn. When Tetzimoc enters, destroy each creature your opponents control with a prey counter on it.

Creature
Tetzimoc, Primal Death (rix) 86
Withering Torment

Destroy target creature or enchantment. You lose 2 life.

Instant
Withering Torment (dsk) 124
Wretched Confluence

Choose three. You may choose the same mode more than once. • Target player draws a card and loses 1 life. • Target creature gets -2/-2 until end of turn. • Return target creature card from your graveyard to your hand.

Instant
Wretched Confluence (cmm) 200

There is Nobody There to Block

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Deck Info

Deck stats

0 pips - 0 cards
0 mana - 4 cards
0 pips - 0 cards
0 mana - 4 cards
78 pips - 55 cards
35 mana - 34 cards
0 pips - 0 cards
0 mana - 4 cards
0 pips - 0 cards
0 mana - 4 cards
0 pips - 0 cards
7 mana - 7 cards
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