15
1/29/2025
Bullshit Machine 5000
Deck Size: 100
Commander / EDH
Est deck cost: $424.08
Salt sum: 45.06
Playgroup dot gg logoPower level:N/A
No deck tags
15
1/29/2025
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Commander

Quantity: 1Price: $12.99
Hashaton, Scarab's Fist

Whenever you discard a creature card, you may pay {2}{U}. If you do, create a tapped token that's a copy of that card, except it's a 4/4 black Zombie.

Creature
Hashaton, Scarab's Fist (drc) 1

Commander

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Land

Quantity: 35Price: $16.93
Accursed Duneyard

{T}: Add {C}. {2}, {T}: Regenerate target Shade, Skeleton, Specter, Spirit, Vampire, Wraith, or Zombie. (The next time it would be destroyed this turn, instead tap it, remove it from combat, and heal all damage on it.)

Land
Accursed Duneyard (drc) 20
Arcane Sanctum

Arcane Sanctum enters tapped. {T}: Add {W}, {U}, or {B}.

Land
Arcane Sanctum (moc) 390
Azorius Chancery

Azorius Chancery enters tapped. When Azorius Chancery enters, return a land you control to its owner's hand. {T}: Add {W}{U}.

Land
Azorius Chancery (2x2) 318
Azorius Guildgate

This land enters tapped. {T}: Add {W} or {U}.

Land
Azorius Guildgate (khc) 107
Command Tower

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Land
Command Tower (moc) 396
Dimir Aqueduct

Dimir Aqueduct enters tapped. When Dimir Aqueduct enters, return a land you control to its owner's hand. {T}: Add {U}{B}.

Land
Dimir Aqueduct (2x2) 322
Dimir Guildgate

This land enters tapped. {T}: Add {U} or {B}.

Land
Dimir Guildgate (znc) 127
Dismal Backwater

This land enters tapped. When this land enters, you gain 1 life. {T}: Add {U} or {B}.

Land
Dismal Backwater (mom) 269
Evolving Wilds

{T}, Sacrifice this land: Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Land
Evolving Wilds (moc) 397
Exotic Orchard

{T}: Add one mana of any color that a land an opponent controls could produce.

Land
Exotic Orchard (moc) 398
Island

({T}: Add {U}.)

Land
Island (akr) 310
Jwar Isle Refuge

Jwar Isle Refuge enters tapped. When Jwar Isle Refuge enters, you gain 1 life. {T}: Add {U} or {B}.

Land
Jwar Isle Refuge (znc) 133
Myriad Landscape

Myriad Landscape enters tapped. {T}: Add {C}. {2}, {T}, Sacrifice Myriad Landscape: Search your library for up to two basic land cards that share a land type, put them onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Land
Myriad Landscape (moc) 416
Orzhov Basilica

Orzhov Basilica enters tapped. When Orzhov Basilica enters, return a land you control to its owner's hand. {T}: Add {W}{B}.

Land
Orzhov Basilica (dmc) 224
Orzhov Guildgate

This land enters tapped. {T}: Add {W} or {B}.

Land
Orzhov Guildgate (rna) 253
Plains

({T}: Add {W}.)

Land
Plains (akr) 322
Prairie Stream

({T}: Add {W} or {U}.) Prairie Stream enters tapped unless you control two or more basic lands.

Land
Prairie Stream (moc) 420
Scoured Barrens

This land enters tapped. When this land enters, you gain 1 life. {T}: Add {W} or {B}.

Land
Scoured Barrens (mom) 272
Sejiri Refuge

Sejiri Refuge enters tapped. When Sejiri Refuge enters, you gain 1 life. {T}: Add {W} or {U}.

Land
Sejiri Refuge (khc) 118
Sunken Hollow

({T}: Add {U} or {B}.) Sunken Hollow enters tapped unless you control two or more basic lands.

Land
Sunken Hollow (moc) 428
Swamp

({T}: Add {B}.)

Land
Swamp (akr) 335
Temple of Deceit

This land enters tapped. When this land enters, scry 1. (Look at the top card of your library. You may put that card on the bottom.) {T}: Add {U} or {B}.

Land
Temple of Deceit (moc) 431
Temple of Enlightenment

This land enters tapped. When this land enters, scry 1. (Look at the top card of your library. You may put that card on the bottom.) {T}: Add {W} or {U}.

Land
Temple of Enlightenment (moc) 432
Temple of Silence

This land enters tapped. When this land enters, scry 1. (Look at the top card of your library. You may put that card on the bottom.) {T}: Add {W} or {B}.

Land
Temple of Silence (moc) 436
Terramorphic Expanse

{T}, Sacrifice Terramorphic Expanse: Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Land
Terramorphic Expanse (moc) 439
Tranquil Cove

This land enters tapped. When this land enters, you gain 1 life. {T}: Add {W} or {U}.

Land
Tranquil Cove (mom) 275

Land

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Artifact

Quantity: 11Price: $18.09
Arcane Signet

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Artifact
Arcane Signet (drc) 51
Azorius Signet

{1}, {T}: Add {W}{U}.

Artifact
Azorius Signet (dsc) 240
Dimir Signet

{1}, {T}: Add {U}{B}.

Artifact
Dimir Signet (drc) 129
God-Pharaoh's Gift

At the beginning of combat on your turn, you may exile a creature card from your graveyard. If you do, create a token that's a copy of that card, except it's a 4/4 black Zombie. It gains haste until end of turn.

Artifact
God-Pharaoh's Gift (drc) 131
Mirror Box

The "legend rule" doesn't apply to permanents you control. Each legendary creature you control gets +1/+1. Each nontoken creature you control gets +1/+1 for each other creature you control with the same name as that creature.

Artifact
Mirror Box (neo) 250
Orzhov Signet

{1}, {T}: Add {W}{B}.

Artifact
Orzhov Signet (drc) 134
Shorikai, Genesis Engine

{1}, {T}: Draw two cards, then discard a card. Create a 1/1 colorless Pilot creature token with "This creature crews Vehicles as though its power were 2 greater." Crew 8 (Tap any number of creatures you control with total power 8 or more: This Vehicle becomes an artifact creature until end of turn.) Shorikai, Genesis Engine can be your commander.

Artifact
Shorikai, Genesis Engine (nec) 4
Sol Ring

{T}: Add {C}{C}.

Artifact
Sol Ring (drc) 56
Talisman of Dominance

{T}: Add {C}. {T}: Add {U} or {B}. Talisman of Dominance deals 1 damage to you.

Artifact
Talisman of Dominance (drc) 141
Talisman of Hierarchy

{T}: Add {C}. {T}: Add {W} or {B}. Talisman of Hierarchy deals 1 damage to you.

Artifact
Talisman of Hierarchy (drc) 142
Talisman of Progress

{T}: Add {C}. {T}: Add {W} or {U}. Talisman of Progress deals 1 damage to you.

Artifact
Talisman of Progress (pip) 249

Artifact

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Sorcery

Quantity: 6Price: $14.54
Careful Study

Draw two cards, then discard two cards.

Sorcery
Careful Study (plst) ODY-70
Hour of Eternity

Exile X target creature cards from your graveyard. For each card exiled this way, create a token that's a copy of that card, except it's a 4/4 black Zombie.

Sorcery
Hour of Eternity (mic) 102
Hour of Reckoning

Convoke (Your creatures can help cast this spell. Each creature you tap while casting this spell pays for {1} or one mana of that creature's color.) Destroy all nontoken creatures.

Sorcery
Hour of Reckoning (pip) 161
Hour of Revelation

This spell costs {3} less to cast if there are ten or more nonland permanents on the battlefield. Destroy all nonland permanents.

Sorcery
Hour of Revelation (znc) 17
Living Death

Each player exiles all creature cards from their graveyard, then sacrifices all creatures they control, then puts all cards they exiled this way onto the battlefield.

Sorcery
Living Death (ltc) 203
Rise of the Dark Realms

Put all creature cards from all graveyards onto the battlefield under your control.

Sorcery
Rise of the Dark Realms (fdn) 183

Sorcery

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Creature

Quantity: 30Price: $296.38
Archfiend of Ifnir

Flying Whenever you cycle or discard another card, put a -1/-1 counter on each creature your opponents control. Cycling {2} ({2}, Discard this card: Draw a card.)

Creature
Archfiend of Ifnir (drc) 86
Avacyn, Angel of Hope

Flying, vigilance, indestructible Other permanents you control have indestructible.

Creature
Avacyn, Angel of Hope (cmm) 14
Chancellor of the Annex

You may reveal this card from your opening hand. If you do, when each opponent casts their first spell of the game, counter that spell unless that player pays {1}. Flying Whenever an opponent casts a spell, counter it unless that player pays {1}.

Creature
Chancellor of the Annex (plst) NPH-6
Diamond Lion

{T}, Discard your hand, Sacrifice Diamond Lion: Add three mana of any one color. Activate only as an instant.

Creature Artifact
Diamond Lion (mh2) 225
Dreadwing Scavenger

Flying Whenever this creature enters or attacks, draw a card, then discard a card. Threshold — This creature gets +1/+1 and has deathtouch as long as there are seven or more cards in your graveyard.

Creature
Dreadwing Scavenger (fdn) 118
Dreamscape Artist

{2}{U}, {T}, Discard a card, Sacrifice a land: Search your library for up to two basic land cards, put them onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

Creature
Dreamscape Artist (tsr) 64
Elesh Norn, Grand Cenobite

Vigilance Other creatures you control get +2/+2. Creatures your opponents control get -2/-2.

Creature
Elesh Norn, Grand Cenobite (plst) IMA-18
Esper Sentinel

Whenever an opponent casts their first noncreature spell each turn, draw a card unless that player pays {X}, where X is Esper Sentinel's power.

Creature Artifact
Esper Sentinel (mh2) 12
Ghostly Pilferer

Whenever Ghostly Pilferer becomes untapped, you may pay {2}. If you do, draw a card. Whenever an opponent casts a spell from anywhere other than their hand, draw a card. Discard a card: Ghostly Pilferer can't be blocked this turn.

Creature
Ghostly Pilferer (otc) 98
Jin-Gitaxias, Core Augur

Flash At the beginning of your end step, draw seven cards. Each opponent's maximum hand size is reduced by seven.

Creature
Jin-Gitaxias, Core Augur (plst) NPH-37
Kiora, the Rising Tide

When Kiora enters, draw two cards, then discard two cards. Threshold — Whenever Kiora attacks, if there are seven or more cards in your graveyard, you may create Scion of the Deep, a legendary 8/8 blue Octopus creature token.

Creature
Kiora, the Rising Tide (fdn) 45
Kitsa, Otterball Elite

Vigilance Prowess (Whenever you cast a noncreature spell, this creature gets +1/+1 until end of turn.) {T}: Draw a card, then discard a card. {2}, {T}: Copy target instant or sorcery spell you control. You may choose new targets for the copy. Activate only if Kitsa's power is 3 or greater.

Creature
Kitsa, Otterball Elite (blb) 54
Likeness Looter

Flying {T}: Draw a card, then discard a card. {X}: Likeness Looter becomes a copy of target creature card in your graveyard with mana value X, except it has flying and this ability. Activate only as a sorcery.

Creature
Likeness Looter (woe) 208
Lim-Dûl the Necromancer

Whenever a creature an opponent controls dies, you may pay {1}{B}. If you do, return that card to the battlefield under your control. If it's a creature, it's a Zombie in addition to its other creature types. {1}{B}: Regenerate target Zombie.

Creature
Lim-Dûl the Necromancer (tsp) 114
Malcolm, Alluring Scoundrel

Flash Flying Whenever Malcolm, Alluring Scoundrel deals combat damage to a player, put a chorus counter on it. Draw a card, then discard a card. If there are four or more chorus counters on Malcolm, you may cast the discarded card without paying its mana cost.

Creature
Malcolm, Alluring Scoundrel (lci) 63
Mondrak, Glory Dominus

If one or more tokens would be created under your control, twice that many of those tokens are created instead. {1}{W/P}{W/P}, Sacrifice two other artifacts and/or creatures: Put an indestructible counter on Mondrak, Glory Dominus. ({W/P} can be paid with either {W} or 2 life.)

Creature
Mondrak, Glory Dominus (one) 23
Nezahal, Primal Tide

This spell can't be countered. You have no maximum hand size. Whenever an opponent casts a noncreature spell, draw a card. Discard three cards: Exile Nezahal, Primal Tide. Return it to the battlefield tapped under its owner's control at the beginning of the next end step.

Creature
Nezahal, Primal Tide (cmr) 401
Obsessive Stitcher

{T}: Draw a card, then discard a card. {2}{U}{B}, {T}, Sacrifice Obsessive Stitcher: Return target creature card from your graveyard to the battlefield.

Creature
Obsessive Stitcher (afc) 189
Overlord of the Floodpits

Impending 4—{1}{U}{U} (If you cast this spell for its impending cost, it enters with four time counters and isn't a creature until the last is removed. At the beginning of your end step, remove a time counter from it.) Flying Whenever Overlord of the Floodpits enters or attacks, draw two cards, then discard a card.

Creature Enchantment
Overlord of the Floodpits (dsk) 68
Psychic Frog

Whenever Psychic Frog deals combat damage to a player or planeswalker, draw a card. Discard a card: Put a +1/+1 counter on Psychic Frog. Exile three cards from your graveyard: Psychic Frog gains flying until end of turn.

Creature
Psychic Frog (mh3) 199
Raffine, Scheming Seer

Flying, ward {1} Whenever you attack, target attacking creature connives X, where X is the number of attacking creatures. (Draw X cards, then discard X cards. Put a +1/+1 counter on that creature for each nonland card discarded this way.)

Creature
Raffine, Scheming Seer (snc) 213
Ravos, Soultender

Flying Other creatures you control get +1/+1. At the beginning of your upkeep, you may return target creature card from your graveyard to your hand. Partner (You can have two commanders if both have partner.)

Creature
Ravos, Soultender (c16) 39
Rhet-Tomb Mystic

Flying Each creature card in your hand has cycling {1}{U}. ({1}{U}, Discard that card: Draw a card.)

Creature
Rhet-Tomb Mystic (drc) 10
Serra's Emissary

Flying As Serra's Emissary enters, choose a card type. You and creatures you control have protection from the chosen card type.

Creature
Serra's Emissary (mh2) 30
The Scarab God

At the beginning of your upkeep, each opponent loses X life and you scry X, where X is the number of Zombies you control. {2}{U}{B}: Exile target creature card from a graveyard. Create a token that's a copy of it, except it's a 4/4 black Zombie. When The Scarab God dies, return it to its owner's hand at the beginning of the next end step.

Creature
The Scarab God (drc) 120
Toxrill, the Corrosive

At the beginning of each end step, put a slime counter on each creature you don't control. Creatures you don't control get -1/-1 for each slime counter on them. Whenever a creature you don't control with a slime counter on it dies, create a 1/1 black Slug creature token. {U}{B}, Sacrifice a Slug: Draw a card.

Creature
Toxrill, the Corrosive (vow) 132
Undertaker

{B}, {T}, Discard a card: Return target creature card from your graveyard to your hand.

Creature
Undertaker (mmq) 167
Void Winnower

Your opponents can't cast spells with even mana values. (Zero is even.) Your opponents can't block with creatures with even mana values.

Creature
Void Winnower (bfz) 17
Wonder

Flying As long as Wonder is in your graveyard and you control an Island, creatures you control have flying.

Creature
Wonder (mh2) 271
Zetalpa, Primal Dawn

Flying, double strike, vigilance, trample, indestructible

Creature
Zetalpa, Primal Dawn (lcc) 141

Creature

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Enchantment

Quantity: 5Price: $27.45
Kindred Boon

As Kindred Boon enters, choose a creature type. {1}{W}: Put a divinity counter on target creature you control of the chosen type. Each creature you control with a divinity counter on it has indestructible.

Enchantment
Kindred Boon (lcc) 129
Oppression

Whenever a player casts a spell, that player discards a card.

Enchantment
Oppression (plst) USG-143
Promise of Aclazotz

Enchantment
Promise of Aclazotz // Foul Rebirth (lcc) 84
Renewed Solidarity

As this enchantment enters, choose a creature type. Creatures you control of the chosen type get +1/+0. At the beginning of your end step, for each token you control of the chosen type that entered this turn, create a token that's a copy of it.

Enchantment
Renewed Solidarity (drc) 7
Tortured Existence

{B}, Discard a creature card: Return target creature card from your graveyard to your hand.

Enchantment
Tortured Existence (plst) STH-74

Enchantment

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Instant

Quantity: 12Price: $37.70
Counterspell

Counter target spell.

Instant
Counterspell (dsc) 114
Defenestrate

Destroy target creature without flying.

Instant
Defenestrate (j25) 420
Disallow

Counter target spell, activated ability, or triggered ability. (Mana abilities can't be targeted.)

Instant
Disallow (drc) 74
Frantic Search

Draw two cards, then discard two cards. Untap up to three lands.

Instant
Frantic Search (woc) 93
Inkshield

Prevent all combat damage that would be dealt to you this turn. For each 1 damage prevented this way, create a 2/1 white and black Inkling creature token with flying.

Instant
Inkshield (dsc) 221
Lazotep Plating

Amass Zombies 1. (Put a +1/+1 counter on an Army you control. It's also a Zombie. If you don't control an Army, create a 0/0 black Zombie Army creature token first.) You and permanents you control gain hexproof until end of turn. (You and they can't be the targets of spells or abilities your opponents control.)

Instant
Lazotep Plating (scd) 57
Path to Exile

Exile target creature. Its controller may search their library for a basic land card, put that card onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Instant
Path to Exile (blc) 147
Perplexing Test

Choose one — • Return all creature tokens to their owners' hands. • Return all nontoken creatures to their owners' hands.

Instant
Perplexing Test (blc) 171
Rites of Refusal

Discard any number of cards. Counter target spell unless its controller pays {3} for each card discarded this way.

Instant
Rites of Refusal (ody) 99
Sacrifice

As an additional cost to cast this spell, sacrifice a creature. Add an amount of {B} equal to the sacrificed creature's mana value.

Instant
Sacrifice (spg) 69
Saw in Half

Destroy target creature. If that creature dies this way, its controller creates two tokens that are copies of that creature, except their power is half that creature's power and their toughness is half that creature's toughness. Round up each time.

Instant
Saw in Half (blc) 113
Swords to Plowshares

Exile target creature. Its controller gains life equal to its power.

Instant
Swords to Plowshares (drc) 37

Instant

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Deck Info

Deck stats

32 pips - 18 cards
25 mana - 23 cards
33 pips - 25 cards
27 mana - 25 cards
28 pips - 21 cards
26 mana - 24 cards
0 pips - 0 cards
0 mana - 4 cards
0 pips - 0 cards
0 mana - 4 cards
0 pips - 0 cards
7 mana - 6 cards
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