14
1/19/2025
"Stop Hitting Yourself, Stop Hitting Yourself, Stop Hitting-"
Deck Size: 100
Commander
Legal
Est deck cost: $1010.63
Salt sum: 57.61
14
1/19/2025
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Commander

Qty: 1 Price: $0.49
Jon Irenicus, Shattered One

At the beginning of your end step, target opponent gains control of up to one target creature you control. Put two +1/+1 counters on it and tap it. It's goaded for the rest of the game and it gains "This creature can't be sacrificed." (It attacks each combat if able and attacks a player other than you if able.) Whenever a creature you own but don't control attacks, you draw a card.

Creature
Jon Irenicus, Shattered One (clb) 278

Commander

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Evasion

Qty: 1 Price: $0.35
Dirge of Dread

All creatures gain fear until end of turn. (They can't be blocked except by artifact creatures and/or black creatures.) Cycling {1}{B} ({1}{B}, Discard this card: Draw a card.) When you cycle this card, you may have target creature gain fear until end of turn.

Sorcery
Dirge of Dread (plst) A25-86

Evasion

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Ramp

Qty: 8 Price: $13.52
Dimir Signet

{1}, {T}: Add {U}{B}.

Artifact
Dimir Signet (clu) 221
Expedition Map

{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Search your library for a land card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Artifact
Expedition Map (j22) 765
Fellwar Stone

{T}: Add one mana of any color that a land an opponent controls could produce.

Artifact
Fellwar Stone (dsc) 245
Mind Stone

{T}: Add {C}. {1}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Draw a card.

Artifact
Mind Stone (dsc) 248
Sol Ring

{T}: Add {C}{C}.

Artifact
Sol Ring (dsc) 94
Solemn Simulacrum

When this creature enters, you may search your library for a basic land card, put that card onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle. When this creature dies, you may draw a card.

Creature Artifact
Solemn Simulacrum (fdn) 257
Thought Vessel

You have no maximum hand size. {T}: Add {C}.

Artifact
Thought Vessel (dsc) 256
Thran Dynamo

{T}: Add {C}{C}{C}.

Artifact
Thran Dynamo (blc) 290

Ramp

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Theft

Qty: 3 Price: $16.27
Diluvian Primordial

Flying When this creature enters, for each opponent, you may cast up to one target instant or sorcery card from that player's graveyard without paying its mana cost. If a spell cast this way would be put into a graveyard, exile it instead.

Creature
Diluvian Primordial (otc) 96
Lord of the Void

Flying Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, exile the top seven cards of that player's library, then put a creature card from among them onto the battlefield under your control.

Creature
Lord of the Void (rvr) 81
Wrexial, the Risen Deep

Islandwalk, swampwalk (This creature can't be blocked as long as defending player controls an Island or a Swamp.) Whenever Wrexial deals combat damage to a player, you may cast target instant or sorcery card from that player's graveyard without paying its mana cost. If that spell would be put into a graveyard, exile it instead.

Creature
Wrexial, the Risen Deep (ncc) 359

Theft

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Burn

Qty: 2 Price: $2.18
Jinxed Ring

Whenever a nontoken permanent is put into your graveyard from the battlefield, this artifact deals 1 damage to you. Sacrifice a creature: Target opponent gains control of this artifact. (This effect lasts indefinitely.)

Artifact
Jinxed Ring (plst) STH-137
Psychosis Crawler

Psychosis Crawler's power and toughness are each equal to the number of cards in your hand. Whenever you draw a card, each opponent loses 1 life.

Creature Artifact
Psychosis Crawler (blc) 282

Burn

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Finisher

Qty: 1 Price: $8.49
Bronze Bombshell

When a player other than this creature's owner controls it, that player sacrifices it. If the player does, this creature deals 7 damage to the player.

Creature Artifact
Bronze Bombshell (dis) 160

Finisher

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Recursion

Qty: 4 Price: $8.62
Extract from Darkness

Each player mills two cards. Then you put a creature card from a graveyard onto the battlefield under your control.

Sorcery
Extract from Darkness (ltc) 266
Puppeteer Clique

Flying When this creature enters, put target creature card from an opponent's graveyard onto the battlefield under your control. It gains haste. At the beginning of your next end step, exile it. Persist (When this creature dies, if it had no -1/-1 counters on it, return it to the battlefield under its owner's control with a -1/-1 counter on it.)

Creature
Puppeteer Clique (woc) 115
Rise of the Dark Realms

Put all creature cards from all graveyards onto the battlefield under your control.

Sorcery
Rise of the Dark Realms (fdn) 183
Sepulchral Primordial

Intimidate (This creature can't be blocked except by artifact creatures and/or creatures that share a color with it.) When this creature enters, for each opponent, you may put up to one target creature card from that player's graveyard onto the battlefield under your control.

Creature
Sepulchral Primordial (scd) 106

Recursion

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Tutor

Qty: 2 Price: $77.98
Demonic Tutor

Search your library for a card, put that card into your hand, then shuffle.

Sorcery
Demonic Tutor (cmm) 150
Mystical Tutor

Search your library for an instant or sorcery card, reveal it, then shuffle and put that card on top.

Instant
Mystical Tutor (dmr) 60

Tutor

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Clones

Qty: 2 Price: $12.48
Phantasmal Image

You may have this creature enter as a copy of any creature on the battlefield, except it's an Illusion in addition to its other types and it has "When this creature becomes the target of a spell or ability, sacrifice it."

Creature
Phantasmal Image (afc) 89
Phyrexian Metamorph

({U/P} can be paid with either {U} or 2 life.) You may have this creature enter as a copy of any artifact or creature on the battlefield, except it's an artifact in addition to its other types.

Creature Artifact
Phyrexian Metamorph (mkc) 116

Clones

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Land

Qty: 35 Price: $163.46
Bojuka Bog

This land enters tapped. When this land enters, exile target player's graveyard. {T}: Add {B}.

Land
Bojuka Bog (dsc) 265
Command Tower

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Land
Command Tower (dsc) 96
Darkwater Catacombs

{1}, {T}: Add {U}{B}.

Land
Darkwater Catacombs (otc) 282
Drowned Catacomb

This land enters tapped unless you control an Island or a Swamp. {T}: Add {U} or {B}.

Land
Drowned Catacomb (otc) 290
Exotic Orchard

{T}: Add one mana of any color that a land an opponent controls could produce.

Land
Exotic Orchard (dsc) 275
Forbidden Orchard

{T}: Add one mana of any color. Whenever you tap this land for mana, target opponent creates a 1/1 colorless Spirit creature token.

Land
Forbidden Orchard (2x2) 323
Island

({T}: Add {U}.)

Land
Island (dft) 282
Mana Confluence

{T}, Pay 1 life: Add one mana of any color.

Land
Mana Confluence (jou) 163
Morphic Pool

This land enters tapped unless you have two or more opponents. {T}: Add {U} or {B}.

Land
Morphic Pool (clb) 357
Otawara, Soaring City

{T}: Add {U}. Channel — {3}{U}, Discard this card: Return target artifact, creature, enchantment, or planeswalker to its owner's hand. This ability costs {1} less to activate for each legendary creature you control.

Land
Otawara, Soaring City (neo) 271
Polluted Delta

{T}, Pay 1 life, Sacrifice this land: Search your library for an Island or Swamp card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

Land
Polluted Delta (mh3) 224
Reflecting Pool

{T}: Add one mana of any type that a land you control could produce.

Land
Reflecting Pool (mb2) 257
Reliquary Tower

You have no maximum hand size. {T}: Add {C}.

Land
Reliquary Tower (dsc) 295
Rogue's Passage

{T}: Add {C}. {4}, {T}: Target creature can't be blocked this turn.

Land
Rogue's Passage (otc) 313
Sunken Hollow

({T}: Add {U} or {B}.) This land enters tapped unless you control two or more basic lands.

Land
Sunken Hollow (otc) 325
Swamp

({T}: Add {B}.)

Land
Swamp (dft) 284
Underground River

{T}: Add {C}. {T}: Add {U} or {B}. This land deals 1 damage to you.

Land
Underground River (dsc) 321
Watery Grave

({T}: Add {U} or {B}.) As this land enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Land
Watery Grave (rvr) 291

Land

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Removal

Qty: 19 Price: $416.01
Aetherize

Return all attacking creatures to their owner's hand.

Instant
Aetherize (fdn) 151
Cephalid Constable

Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, return up to that many target permanents that player controls to their owner's hand.

Creature
Cephalid Constable (10e) 72
Counterspell

Counter target spell.

Instant
Counterspell (dsc) 114
Crux of Fate

Choose one — • Destroy all Dragon creatures. • Destroy all non-Dragon creatures.

Sorcery
Crux of Fate (c17) 107
Cyclonic Rift

Return target nonland permanent you don't control to its owner's hand. Overload {6}{U} (You may cast this spell for its overload cost. If you do, change "target" in its text to "each.")

Instant
Cyclonic Rift (rvr) 40
Damnation

Destroy all creatures. They can't be regenerated.

Sorcery
Damnation (2x2) 73
Dark Impostor

{4}{B}{B}: Exile target creature and put a +1/+1 counter on this creature. This creature has all activated abilities of all creature cards exiled with it.

Creature
Dark Impostor (voc) 127
Deadly Rollick

If you control a commander, you may cast this spell without paying its mana cost. Exile target creature.

Instant
Deadly Rollick (cmm) 147
Draining Whelk

Flash Flying When this creature enters, counter target spell. Put X +1/+1 counters on this creature, where X is that spell's mana value.

Creature
Draining Whelk (tsr) 62
Drown in the Loch

Choose one — • Counter target spell with mana value less than or equal to the number of cards in its controller's graveyard. • Destroy target creature with mana value less than or equal to the number of cards in its controller's graveyard.

Instant
Drown in the Loch (clb) 842
Gilded Drake

Flying When this creature enters, exchange control of this creature and up to one target creature an opponent controls. If you don't or can't make an exchange, sacrifice this creature. This ability still resolves if its target becomes illegal.

Creature
Gilded Drake (usg) 76
Glen Elendra Archmage

Flying {U}, Sacrifice this creature: Counter target noncreature spell. Persist (When this creature dies, if it had no -1/-1 counters on it, return it to the battlefield under its owner's control with a -1/-1 counter on it.)

Creature
Glen Elendra Archmage (woc) 94
Go for the Throat

Destroy target nonartifact creature.

Instant
Go for the Throat (j25) 447
Massacre Girl

Menace When Massacre Girl enters, each other creature gets -1/-1 until end of turn. Whenever a creature dies this turn, each creature other than Massacre Girl gets -1/-1 until end of turn.

Creature
Massacre Girl (dsc) 146
Negate

Counter target noncreature spell.

Instant
Negate (mom) 68
Noxious Gearhulk

Menace When this creature enters, you may destroy another target creature. If a creature is destroyed this way, you gain life equal to its toughness.

Creature Artifact
Noxious Gearhulk (dsc) 151
Throat Slitter

Ninjutsu {2}{B} ({2}{B}, Return an unblocked attacker you control to hand: Put this card onto the battlefield from your hand tapped and attacking.) Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, destroy target nonblack creature that player controls.

Creature
Throat Slitter (plst) BOK-88
Toxic Deluge

As an additional cost to cast this spell, pay X life. All creatures get -X/-X until end of turn.

Sorcery
Toxic Deluge (mh3) 277
Willbreaker

Whenever a creature an opponent controls becomes the target of a spell or ability you control, gain control of that creature for as long as you control this creature.

Creature
Willbreaker (ori) 84

Removal

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Counters

Qty: 2 Price: $129.98
Force of Negation

If it's not your turn, you may exile a blue card from your hand rather than pay this spell's mana cost. Counter target noncreature spell. If that spell is countered this way, exile it instead of putting it into its owner's graveyard.

Instant
Force of Negation (2x2) 50
Force of Will

You may pay 1 life and exile a blue card from your hand rather than pay this spell's mana cost. Counter target spell.

Instant
Force of Will (dmr) 50

Counters

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Mill

Qty: 3 Price: $7.77
Ashiok, Dream Render

Spells and abilities your opponents control can't cause their controller to search their library. −1: Target player mills four cards. Then exile each opponent's graveyard.

Planeswalker
Ashiok, Dream Render (war) 228
Ashiok, Nightmare Muse

+1: Create a 2/3 blue and black Nightmare creature token with "Whenever this token attacks or blocks, each opponent exiles the top two cards of their library." −3: Return target nonland permanent to its owner's hand, then that player exiles a card from their hand. −7: You may cast up to three spells from among face-up cards your opponents own from exile without paying their mana costs.

Planeswalker
Ashiok, Nightmare Muse (thb) 208
Stinkweed Imp

Flying Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a creature, destroy that creature. Dredge 5 (If you would draw a card, you may mill five cards instead. If you do, return this card from your graveyard to your hand.)

Creature
Stinkweed Imp (plst) GK1-53

Mill

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Sac Outlet

Qty: 1 Price: $1.49
Jinxed Idol

At the beginning of your upkeep, this artifact deals 2 damage to you. Sacrifice a creature: Target opponent gains control of this artifact.

Artifact
Jinxed Idol (m11) 208

Sac Outlet

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Draw

Qty: 7 Price: $89.73
Baleful Strix

Flying, deathtouch When this creature enters, draw a card.

Creature Artifact
Baleful Strix (otc) 215
Blue Sun's Zenith

Target player draws X cards. Shuffle Blue Sun's Zenith into its owner's library.

Instant
Blue Sun's Zenith (a25) 44
Brainstorm

Draw three cards, then put two cards from your hand on top of your library in any order.

Instant
Brainstorm (dsc) 113
Mulldrifter

Flying When this creature enters, draw two cards. Evoke {2}{U} (You may cast this spell for its evoke cost. If you do, it's sacrificed when it enters.)

Creature
Mulldrifter (mkc) 111
Phyrexian Arena

At the beginning of your upkeep, you draw a card and you lose 1 life.

Enchantment
Phyrexian Arena (fdn) 180
Reconnaissance Mission

Whenever a creature you control deals combat damage to a player, you may draw a card. Cycling {2} ({2}, Discard this card: Draw a card.)

Enchantment
Reconnaissance Mission (woc) 105
Rhystic Study

Whenever an opponent casts a spell, you may draw a card unless that player pays {1}.

Enchantment
Rhystic Study (j22) 114

Draw

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Protection

Qty: 7 Price: $53.83
Abyssal Persecutor

Flying, trample You can't win the game and your opponents can't lose the game.

Creature
Abyssal Persecutor (ima) 78
Evil Eye of Urborg

Non-Eye creatures you control can't attack. Whenever this creature becomes blocked by a creature, destroy that creature.

Creature
Evil Eye of Urborg (plst) TSP-107
Lightning Greaves

Equipped creature has haste and shroud. (It can't be the target of spells or abilities.) Equip {0}

Artifact
Lightning Greaves (dsc) 93
No Mercy

Whenever a creature deals damage to you, destroy it.

Enchantment
No Mercy (dmr) 95
Platinum Emperion

Your life total can't change. (You can't gain or lose life. You can't pay any amount of life except 0.)

Creature Artifact
Platinum Emperion (uma) 233
Propaganda

Creatures can't attack you unless their controller pays {2} for each creature they control that's attacking you.

Enchantment
Propaganda (acr) 85
Swiftfoot Boots

Equipped creature has hexproof and haste. (It can't be the target of spells or abilities your opponents control. It can attack and {T} no matter when it came under your control.) Equip {1} ({1}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Artifact
Swiftfoot Boots (fdn) 258

Protection

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Stax

Qty: 2 Price: $7.98
Grid Monitor

You can't cast creature spells.

Creature Artifact
Grid Monitor (mrd) 183
Steel Golem

You can't cast creature spells.

Creature Artifact
Steel Golem (10e) 344

Stax

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Deck Info

Deck stats

0 pips - 0 cards
0 mana - 6 cards
40 pips - 28 cards
24 mana - 24 cards
40 pips - 27 cards
23 mana - 23 cards
0 pips - 0 cards
0 mana - 6 cards
0 pips - 0 cards
0 mana - 6 cards
0 pips - 0 cards
10 mana - 7 cards
CategoriesQtyOdds
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Deck Tokens & Extras (2)

Description

{"ops":[{"insert":"The go-fuck yourself deck!\n\nGoading your opponents' creatures and forcing them to attack each other can quickly whittle down their life totals and your main win condition.\nStealing your opponents' best creatures is important, make sure to do that...\nAbyssal Persecutor and Platinum Emperion lock is what you want to stall the game. \n"}]}

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