Knight of the Kitchen Sink

First strike, protection from watermarks (Nothing with a watermark can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

Accessories to Murder

Whenever you crank Accessories to Murder, target creature gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the number of creatures you control.

Inflation Station

Whenever you crank Inflation Station, target creature gets +3/+3 until end of turn.

Lackey Recycler

Whenever you crank Lackey Recycler, put target creature card from your graveyard on top of your library.

Gift Horse

Whenever you crank Gift Horse, roll two six-sided dice. Create a number of 1/1 red Goblin creature tokens equal to the difference between those results.

Pet Project

Whenever you crank Pet Project, put target creature card from an opponent's graveyard onto the battlefield under your control.

By Gnome Means

{1}{W}, Remove a counter from a permanent you control: Create a 1/1 colorless Gnome artifact creature token.
{1}{W}, Sacrifice an artifact: Choose any kind of counter a printed card refers to, then put one of that counter on target permanent.

Quick-Stick Lick Trick

Whenever you crank Quick-Stick Lick Trick, target creature gets +1/+1 and gains lifelink until end of turn.

Cogmentor

Flying
{4}: Reassemble target Contraption you control. (Move it onto another one of your sprockets.)

Blurry Beeble

Blurry (This creature can be blocked only if defending player was wearing glasses as it was cast.)
Whenever Blurry Beeble deals combat damage to a player, you may draw a card. If you do, discard a card.

Gnomeball Machine

Whenever you crank Gnomeball Machine, create two 1/1 colorless Gnome artifact creature tokens.

Neural Network

Whenever you crank Neural Network, gain control of target creature an opponent controls with power less than or equal to the number of creature cards in its controller's graveyard until end of turn. Untap that creature. It gains haste until end of turn.

Dictation Quillograph

Whenever you crank Dictation Quillograph, until end of turn, target creature gains "Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, you may draw a card. If you do, discard a card."

Plains

Chivalrous Chevalier

Flying
When Chivalrous Chevalier enters, return a creature you control to its owner's hand unless you compliment an opponent.

Chipper Chopper

Flying
When Chipper Chopper enters, you may sacrifice another artifact. If you do, put two +1/+1 counters on Chipper Chopper and it assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Dispatch Dispensary

Whenever you crank Dispatch Dispensary, create a 2/2 black Rogue creature token with menace.

Bee-Bee Gun

Whenever you crank Bee-Bee Gun, until end of turn, target creature gains "{2}: This creature fights another target creature."

Insufferable Syphon

Whenever you crank Insufferable Syphon, target player discards a card.

Head Banger

Whenever you crank Head Banger, target creature must be blocked this turn if able.

Kindly Cognician

Spells you cast that refer to artifacts or Contraptions in their rules text cost {1} less to cast.

Division Table

Whenever you crank Division Table, target player loses 2 life.

First strike, protection from black borders (Nothing with a black border can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

Stamp of Approval

As Stamp of Approval enters, choose a watermark.
Creatures you control with the chosen watermark get +1/+1.

Knight of the Widget

Vigilance
Knight of the Widget's power and toughness are each equal to the number of Order of the Widget watermarks among permanents you control.

Mandatory Friendship Shackles

Whenever you crank Mandatory Friendship Shackles, target creature gets -1/-1 until end of turn.

Hard Hat Area

Whenever you crank Hard Hat Area, roll two six-sided dice. Hard Hat Area assembles a number of Contraptions equal to the difference between those results. (To assemble a Contraption, put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Secret Base

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to cast a spell that shares a watermark with Secret Base.

First strike, protection from two-word names (Nothing with exactly two words in its name can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature. Hyphenated words are one word.)

Incite Insight

Assemble X Contraptions. (To assemble a Contraption, put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Dual Doomsuits

Whenever you crank Dual Doomsuits, each time a source you control would deal damage this turn, it deals double that damage instead.

Oaken Power Suit

Whenever you crank Oaken Power Suit, target creature gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the greatest power among creatures you control.

The Grand Calcutron

The Grand Calcutron can be your commander.
When The Grand Calcutron enters, each player's hand becomes a program (an ordered row of revealed cards).
Players can only play the first card of their program.
If a card would be put into a player's hand from anywhere, that player reveals it and places it anywhere within their program instead.
At the beginning of each player's end step, if that player's program has fewer than five cards, they draw cards equal to the difference.

Animate Library

Enchant your library
Enchanted library is an artifact creature on the battlefield with power and toughness each equal to the number of cards in it. It's still a library.
If enchanted library would leave the battlefield, exile Animate Library instead.

Genetic Recombinator

Whenever you crank Genetic Recombinator, up to two target creatures each get +2/+2 until end of turn.

Hypnotic Swirly Disc

Whenever you crank Hypnotic Swirly Disc, target player mills X cards, where X is the number of creatures you control.

Jamming Device

Whenever you crank Jamming Device, creatures target player controls get -1/-1 until end of turn.

Watermarket

{T}: Add {C}{C}. Spend this mana only to cast spells with watermarks.

Faerie Aerie

Whenever you crank Faerie Aerie, create two 1/1 blue Faerie Spy creature tokens with flying, haste, and "Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, draw a card." Exile them at the beginning of the next end step.

Midlife Upgrade

As an additional cost to cast this spell, sacrifice X Contraptions.
Assemble X plus one Contraptions. (To assemble a Contraption, put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

First strike, protection from odd collector numbers (Nothing with an odd collector number can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

Border Guardian

Whenever you cast a silver-bordered spell, put a +1/+1 counter on Border Guardian.
Whenever you cast a black-bordered spell, Border Guardian can't be blocked this turn.
Whenever you cast a white-bordered spell, Border Guardian gains double strike until end of turn.

Wall of Fortune

Defender
You may tap an untapped Wall you control to have any player reroll a die that player rolled.

Hot Fix

You have ten seconds to look at and rearrange the cards in your library. At the end of those ten seconds, if you're touching one or more of those cards, shuffle.

Boomflinger

Whenever you crank Boomflinger, roll two six-sided dice. Boomflinger deals damage to target player or planeswalker equal to the difference between those results.

Socketed Sprocketer

{T}: Uninstall all results from Socketed Sprocketer, then roll a six-sided die. Install the result on Socketed Sprocketer. (Put the die on this card.)
You may uninstall a result from Socketed Sprocketer to use it for a die you rolled.
Uninstall a 6 from Socketed Sprocketer: Draw a card.

Rules Lawyer

State-based actions don't apply to you or other permanents you control. (You don't lose the game due to having 0 or less life or drawing from an empty library. Your creatures aren't destroyed due to damage or deathtouch and aren't put into a graveyard due to having 0 or less toughness. Your planeswalkers aren't put into a graveyard if they have 0 loyalty. You don't put a legendary permanent into a graveyard if you control two with the same name. Counters aren't removed from your permanents due to game rules. Permanents you control attached or combined illegally remain on the battlefield. For complete rules and regulations, see rule 704.)

Do-It-Yourself Seraph

Flying
Whenever Do-It-Yourself Seraph attacks, you may search your library for an artifact card, exile it, then shuffle.
Do-It-Yourself Seraph has the text box of each card exiled with Do-It-Yourself Seraph in addition to its own.

Buzz Buggy

Whenever you crank Buzz Buggy, target creature gets +2/+0 and gains trample until end of turn.

Applied Aeronautics

Whenever you crank Applied Aeronautics, until end of turn, target creature gets +1/+0, gains flying, and becomes an artifact in addition to its other types.

Goblin Slingshot

Whenever you crank Goblin Slingshot, creatures you control get +2/+0 and gain trample until end of turn.

First strike, protection from even collector numbers (Nothing with an even collector number can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

First strike, protection from loose lips (Nothing with an open mouth in its artwork can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

Auto-Key

Whenever you crank Auto-Key, until end of turn, target creature becomes an artifact in addition to its other types and gains "{T}: You gain 3 life."

Old Guard

{W}, {T}: Tap target creature without reminder text. (Reminder text is still any italicized text in parentheses that explains rules you already know.)

Deadly Poison Sampler

Whenever you crank Deadly Poison Sampler, until end of turn, target creature gains "Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, destroy target creature that player controls."

Jackknight

Whenever another artifact you control enters, put a +1/+1 counter on Jackknight. If that artifact is a Contraption, Jackknight gains lifelink until end of turn.

Sacrifice Play

A person outside the game chooses an attacking or blocking creature target opponent controls. That player sacrifices that creature.

Riveting Rigger

When Riveting Rigger enters, you may sacrifice another artifact. If you do, put two +1/+1 counters on Riveting Rigger and it assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Guest List

Whenever you crank Guest List, target creature gets -X/-X until end of turn, where X is the number of creature cards in its controller's graveyard.

Aerial Toastmaster

Flying
{3}{W}, Sacrifice another artifact: Aerial Toastmaster assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Duplication Device

Whenever you crank Duplication Device, until end of turn, target creature becomes a copy of any creature on the battlefield, except it's an artifact in addition to its other types.

Island

Optical Optimizer

Whenever you crank Optical Optimizer, until end of turn, target creature becomes an artifact in addition to its other types and gains "{T}: Draw a card."