Trained Blessed Mind

{TK}{TK} — {T}: Exile target card from a graveyard.
{TK}{TK}{TK} — Threshold — As long as seven or more cards are in your graveyard, this creature gets +4/+0 and has trample.
{TK}{TK} — 4/2
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 6/9

Giant Mana Cake

{TK}{TK} — When this permanent leaves the battlefield, create two Food tokens. (They're artifacts with "{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.")
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — When this permanent dies, destroy target nonland permanent.
{TK}{TK} — 3/3
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 6/2

Contortionist Otter Storm

{TK}{TK} — {T}: Target creature gains haste until end of turn.
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — Deathtouch, lifelink
{TK}{TK} — 5/1
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 3/5

Brightling

{W}: Brightling gains vigilance until end of turn.
{W}: Brightling gains lifelink until end of turn.
{W}: Return Brightling to its owner's hand.
{1}: Brightling gets +1/-1 or -1/+1 until end of turn.

Unassuming Gelatinous Serpent

{TK}{TK} — When this permanent dies, return target noncreature, nonland card from your graveyard to your hand.
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, that player mills twice that many cards.
{TK}{TK} — 2/3
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 7/2

Ancestral Hot Dog Minotaur

{TK}{TK} — Afflict 2 (Whenever this creature becomes blocked, defending player loses 2 life.)
{TK}{TK}{TK} — Flying
{TK}{TK} — 1/4
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 8/6

Unhinged Beast Hunt

{TK}{TK} — {T}: You gain 1 life.
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — Whenever this creature attacks, tap each creature an opponent controls with the same power and/or same toughness as this creature.
{TK}{TK} — 4/1
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 2/6

Geek Lotus Warrior

{TK}{TK} — {2}: This creature gets +2/+0 until end of turn.
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — Whenever a creature enters under your control, this permanent deals 2 damage to target player.
{TK}{TK} — 4/1
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 3/6

Space Fungus Snickerdoodle

{TK}{TK} — Skulk (This creature can't be blocked by creatures with greater power.)
{TK}{TK}{TK} — Battle cry (Whenever this creature attacks, each other attacking creature gets +1/+0 until end of turn.)
{TK}{TK} — 3/2
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 6/8

Nettle Sentinel

Nettle Sentinel doesn't untap during your untap step.
Whenever you cast a green spell, you may untap Nettle Sentinel.

Misunderstood Trapeze Elf

{TK}{TK} — Whenever you cast a spell, this creature gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the amount of generic mana in that spell's mana cost.
{TK}{TK}{TK} — Hexproof
{TK}{TK} — 4/2
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 6/6

Narrow-Minded Baloney Fireworks

{TK}{TK} — Whenever this creature attacks, you gain 2 life.
{TK}{TK}{TK} — Vigilance, reach
{TK}{TK} — 2/4
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 7/7

Seeker of Skybreak

Goblin Coward Parade

{TK}{TK} — Mentor (Whenever this creature attacks, put a +1/+1 counter on target attacking creature with lesser power.)
{TK}{TK}{TK} — When this permanent leaves the battlefield, you may destroy target creature with power 4 or greater.
{TK}{TK} — 2/3
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 8/4

Primal Elder Kitty

{TK}{TK} — {1}: This creature gets +1/-1 until end of turn.
{TK}{TK}{TK} — When this creature dies, you may put X +1/+1 counters on target creature, where X is this creature's power.
{TK}{TK} — 5/1
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 4/7

Carnival Elephant Meteor

{TK}{TK} — Sacrifice this permanent: Draw two cards.
{TK}{TK}{TK} — Whenever this creature attacks, proliferate. (Choose any number of permanents and/or players, then give each another counter of each kind already there.)
{TK}{TK} — 4/1
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 8/7

Eternal Acrobat Toast

{TK}{TK} — Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, exile target creature you control, then return it to the battlefield under its owner's control.
{TK}{TK}{TK} — {T}: Untap another target permanent.
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 4/4
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 7/8

Rampant Frogantua

Trample
Rampant Frogantua gets +10/+10 for each player who has lost the game.
Whenever Rampant Frogantua deals combat damage to a player, you may mill that many cards. Put any number of land cards from among them onto the battlefield tapped.

Spooky Clown Mox

{TK}{TK} — Vigilance
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — {1}, {T}: Tap target creature.
{TK}{TK} — 1/5
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 5/4

Wrinkly Monkey Shenanigans

{TK}{TK} — {1}: Target creature can't block this creature this turn.
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — Morbid — At the beginning of each end step, if a creature died this turn and this permanent is a creature, put a -1/-1 counter on this permanent and draw a card.
{TK}{TK} — 2/4
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 7/2

Notorious Sliver War

{TK}{TK} — {5}: Creatures you control get +1/+1 until end of turn.
{TK}{TK}{TK} — Protection from creatures with two or more creature types
{TK}{TK} — 3/3
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 9/6

Sekki, Seasons' Guide

Sekki, Seasons' Guide enters with eight +1/+1 counters on it.
If damage would be dealt to Sekki, prevent that damage, remove that many +1/+1 counters from Sekki, and create that many 1/1 colorless Spirit creature tokens.
Sacrifice eight Spirits: Return Sekki from your graveyard to the battlefield.

Jetpack Death Seltzer

{TK}{TK} — Trample
{TK}{TK}{TK} — {3}: Monstrosity 3. (If this creature isn't monstrous, put three +1/+1 counters on it and it becomes monstrous.)
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 2/7
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 6/5

Sassy Gremlin Blood

{TK}{TK} — Whenever this creature attacks, create a Treasure token.
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — {3}: Target creature gains flying until end of turn.
{TK}{TK} — 3/2
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 10/10

Snazzy Aether Homunculus

{TK}{TK} — {1}: Target creature gains all creature types until end of turn.
{TK}{TK}{TK} — Magecraft — Whenever you cast or copy an instant or sorcery spell, draw a card.
{TK}{TK} — 2/4
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 8/7

Hardened Scales

If one or more +1/+1 counters would be put on a creature you control, that many plus one +1/+1 counters are put on it instead.

Urza's Dark Cannonball

{TK}{TK} — Exalted, exalted (Whenever a creature you control attacks alone, it gets +1/+1 until end of turn for each instance of exalted among permanents you control.)
{TK}{TK}{TK} — Shadow (This creature can block or be blocked only by creatures with shadow.)
{TK}{TK} — 1/5
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 7/4

Quirion Ranger

Return a Forest you control to its owner's hand: Untap target creature. Activate only once each turn.

Happy Dead Squirrel

{TK}{TK} — {T}: Add {C}{C}. Spend this mana only to cast noncreature spells.
{TK}{TK}{TK} — Infect (This permanent deals damage to creatures in the form of -1/-1 counters and to players in the form of poison counters.)
{TK}{TK} — 3/2
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 4/7

Zombie Cheese Magician

{TK}{TK} — First strike
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, draw that many cards.
{TK}{TK} — 3/3
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 6/2

Cool Fluffy Loxodon

{TK}{TK} — When this permanent leaves the battlefield, draw a card.
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — Whenever a creature enters under your control, this permanent becomes a 13/13 Eldrazi creature in addition to its other types until end of turn.
{TK}{TK} — 4/2
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 5/6

Demonic Tourist Laser

{TK}{TK} — Outlast {1} ({1}, {T}: Put a +1/+1 counter on this creature. Outlast only as a sorcery.)
{TK}{TK}{TK} — When this permanent dies, you get seven {TK}.
{TK}{TK} — 1/4
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 9/6

Unsanctioned Ancient Juggler

{TK}{TK} — Whenever this creature attacks, bolster 1. (Choose a creature with the least toughness among creatures you control and put a +1/+1 counter on it.)
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — Indestructible
{TK}{TK} — 3/2
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 5/4

Phyrexian Midway Bamboozle

{TK}{TK} — Whenever this creature attacks, you get {TK}.
{TK}{TK}{TK} — Undying (When this creature dies, if it had no +1/+1 counters on it, return it to the battlefield under its owner's control with a +1/+1 counter on it.)
{TK}{TK} — 4/2
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 6/9

Cursed Firebreathing Yogurt

{TK}{TK} — Prowess, prowess (Whenever you cast a noncreature spell, this creature gets +1/+1 until end of turn twice.)
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — {2}, {T}: This permanent deals 2 damage to any target.
{TK}{TK} — 4/2
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 4/8

Werewolf Lightning Mage

{TK}{TK} — Landfall — Whenever a land enters under your control, put a +1/+1 counter on this permanent.
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — Whenever a creature blocks this creature, that creature gets -4/-4 until end of turn.
{TK}{TK} — 4/1
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 3/5

Unglued Pea-Brained Dinosaur

{TK}{TK} — {T}: Add {2}. Spend this mana only to cast creature spells.
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — At the beginning of combat on your turn, target noncreature artifact you control becomes a 4/4 artifact creature with flying until end of turn.
{TK}{TK} — 2/4
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 8/6

Deep-Fried Plague Myr

{TK}{TK} — Whenever this creature attacks, scry 1.
{TK}{TK}{TK} — Whenever this permanent leaves the battlefield, you may destroy target artifact or enchantment.
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 4/5
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 8/4

Squishy Sphinx Ninja

{TK}{TK} — Ward {2} (Whenever this creature becomes the target of a spell or ability an opponent controls, counter it unless that player pays {2}.)
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — Provoke (Whenever this creature attacks, you may have target creature defending player controls untap and block it if able.)
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 5/3
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 7/7

Stone-Seeder Hierophant

Landfall — Whenever a land you control enters, untap Stone-Seeder Hierophant.
{T}: Untap target land.

Weird Angel Flame

{TK}{TK} — Heroic — Whenever you cast a spell that targets this permanent, put two +1/+1 counters on it.
{TK}{TK}{TK} — Protection from even mana values
{TK}{TK} — 2/3
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 7/8

Prize Pig

Whenever you gain life, put that many ribbon counters on Prize Pig. Then if there are three or more ribbon counters on Prize Pig, remove those counters and untap it.
{T}: Add one mana of any color.

Scepter of Celebration

Equipped creature gets +2/+0 and has trample.
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, create that many 1/1 green and white Citizen creature tokens.
Equip {3}

Unique Charmed Pants

{TK}{TK} — {T}: Add one mana of any color.
{TK}{TK}{TK} — Whenever this creature attacks, if it's not a Brushwagg, it gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the number of supertypes, card types, and subtypes it has.
{TK}{TK} — 5/1
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 4/8

Tervigon

Ravenous (This creature enters with X +1/+1 counters on it. If X is 5 or more, draw a card when it enters.)
Trample
Spawn Termagants — Whenever Tervigon deals combat damage to a player, create that many 1/1 green Tyranid creature tokens.

Night Brushwagg Ringmaster

{TK}{TK} — Menace
{TK}{TK}{TK} — Persist (When this permanent dies, if it had no -1/-1 counters on it, return it to the battlefield under its owner's control with a -1/-1 counter on it.)
{TK}{TK} — 2/3
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 10/10

Barrenton Medic

{T}: Prevent the next 1 damage that would be dealt to any target this turn.
Put a -1/-1 counter on Barrenton Medic: Untap Barrenton Medic.

Shroofus Sproutsire

Trample
Whenever a Saproling you control deals combat damage to a player, create that many 1/1 green Saproling creature tokens.

Ballynock Trapper

{T}: Tap target creature.
Whenever you cast a white spell, you may untap Ballynock Trapper.

Mystic Doom Sandwich

{TK}{TK} — Lifelink
{TK}{TK}{TK} — This creature must be blocked if able. Whenever this creature becomes blocked, it gets +1/+1 until end of turn for each creature blocking it.
{TK}{TK} — 1/4
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 6/8

Devoted Druid

{T}: Add {G}.
Put a -1/-1 counter on Devoted Druid: Untap Devoted Druid.

Trendy Circus Pirate

{TK}{TK} — Deathtouch
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, create that many 1/1 green Squirrel creature tokens.
{TK}{TK} — 5/1
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 3/6

Saber Ants

Whenever Saber Ants is dealt damage, you may create that many 1/1 green Insect creature tokens.

Famished Paladin

Famished Paladin doesn't untap during your untap step.
Whenever you gain life, untap Famished Paladin.

Traxos, Scourge of Kroog

Trample
Traxos, Scourge of Kroog enters tapped and doesn't untap during your untap step.
Whenever you cast a historic spell, untap Traxos. (Artifacts, legendaries, and Sagas are historic.)

Eldrazi Guacamole Tightrope

{TK}{TK} — Haste
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — You may cast this card from your graveyard by paying 2 life in addition to paying its other costs.
{TK}{TK} — 1/4
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 5/3

Yawgmoth Merfolk Soul

{TK}{TK} — When this permanent leaves the battlefield, target player discards a card.
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — When this permanent leaves the battlefield, create five 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature tokens.
{TK}{TK} — 3/3
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 6/5

Vampire Champion Fury

{TK}{TK} — Hellbent — This creature gets +3/+3 as long as you have no cards in hand.
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — {2}, Sacrifice this creature: It deals X damage divided as you choose among any number of target creatures, where X is its power.
{TK}{TK} — 1/5
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 6/3

Conclave Mentor

If one or more +1/+1 counters would be put on a creature you control, that many plus one +1/+1 counters are put on that creature instead.
When Conclave Mentor dies, you gain life equal to its power.

Pristine Angel

Flying
As long as Pristine Angel is untapped, it has protection from artifacts and from each color.
Whenever you cast a spell, you may untap Pristine Angel.

Elemental Time Flamingo

{TK}{TK} — Exile this permanent: You may cast target nonland card from your graveyard this turn.
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — Whenever a creature you control dies, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain 1 life.
{TK}{TK} — 1/5
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 5/4

Sergeant John Benton

Trample, haste
Share Intelligence — Whenever Sergeant John Benton deals combat damage to a player, you and that player each draw that many cards.

Pollenbright Wings

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature has flying.
Whenever enchanted creature deals combat damage to a player, create that many 1/1 green Saproling creature tokens.

Squid Fire Knight

{TK}{TK} — {T}: The next time target player would roll one or more dice this turn, instead they roll that many dice plus one, then you choose one of those rolls to ignore.
{TK}{TK}{TK} — Protection from odd mana values
{TK}{TK} — 4/1
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 6/6

Tusk and Whiskers

Whenever you put an ability sticker on a creature, put a +1/+1 counter on that creature.
{2}{G}{W}, {T}: You get {TK}. You may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own.

Familiar Beeble Mascot

{TK}{TK} — Whenever this creature attacks, untap target permanent.
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — Whenever a creature enters under your control, creatures you control get +1/+1 until end of turn.
{TK}{TK} — 2/3
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 5/3

Playable Delusionary Hydra

{TK}{TK} — {T}: Draw a card, then discard a card.
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — Whenever this creature attacks, you gain 3 life and draw a card.
{TK}{TK} — 1/5
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 4/4

Drumbellower

Flying
Untap all creatures you control during each other player's untap step.

Unstable Robot Dragon

{TK}{TK} — {1}: Switch this creature's power and toughness until end of turn.
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — Whenever this creature attacks, it gets +5/+5 until end of turn.
{TK}{TK} — 3/2
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 2/7

Sticky Kavu Daredevil

{TK}{TK} — Whenever this permanent dies, you may return target creature to its owner's hand.
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — Whenever this creature attacks, creatures you control get +1/+1 until end of turn.
{TK}{TK} — 3/3
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 2/6

Wild Ogre Bupkis

{TK}{TK} — Whenever this creature attacks, put a +1/+1 counter on it.
{TK}{TK}{TK} — Metalcraft — This permanent has protection from noncreature permanents as long as you control three or more artifacts.
{TK}{TK} — 5/1
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 7/4

Slimy Burrito Illusion

{TK}{TK} — Bushido 2 (Whenever this creature blocks or becomes blocked, it gets +2/+2 until end of turn.)
{TK}{TK}{TK} — Double strike
{TK}{TK} — 2/4
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 5/6

Kami of Whispered Hopes

If one or more +1/+1 counters would be put on a permanent you control, that many plus one +1/+1 counters are put on that permanent instead.
{T}: Add X mana of any one color, where X is Kami of Whispered Hopes's power.

Scryb Ranger

Flash
Flying, protection from blue
Return a Forest you control to its owner's hand: Untap target creature. Activate only once each turn.