Witness Protection

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature loses all abilities and is a green and white Citizen creature with base power and toughness 1/1 named Legitimate Businessperson. (It loses all other colors, card types, creature types, and names.)

Bonehoard

Living weapon (When this Equipment enters, create a 0/0 black Phyrexian Germ creature token, then attach this to it.)
Equipped creature gets +X/+X, where X is the number of creature cards in all graveyards.
Equip {2}

Trepanation Blade

Whenever equipped creature attacks, defending player reveals cards from the top of their library until they reveal a land card. The creature gets +1/+0 until end of turn for each card revealed this way. That player puts the revealed cards into their graveyard.
Equip {2}

Commander's Plate

Equipped creature gets +3/+3 and has protection from each color that's not in your commander's color identity.
Equip commander {3}
Equip {5}

Zellix, Sanity Flayer

Hive Mind — Whenever a player mills one or more creature cards, you create a 1/1 black Horror creature token.
{1}, {T}: Target player mills three cards.
Choose a Background (You can have a Background as a second commander.)

Inquisitor's Flail

If equipped creature would deal combat damage, it deals double that damage instead.
If another creature would deal combat damage to equipped creature, it deals double that damage to equipped creature instead.
Equip {2}

Swiftfoot Boots

Equipped creature has hexproof and haste. (It can't be the target of spells or abilities your opponents control. It can attack and {T} no matter when it came under your control.)
Equip {1} ({1}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Mystic Remora

Cumulative upkeep {1} (At the beginning of your upkeep, put an age counter on this permanent, then sacrifice it unless you pay its upkeep cost for each age counter on it.)
Whenever an opponent casts a noncreature spell, you may draw a card unless that player pays {4}.

Swan Song

Counter target enchantment, instant, or sorcery spell. Its controller creates a 2/2 blue Bird creature token with flying.

Spellskite

{U/P}: Change a target of target spell or ability to this creature. ({U/P} can be paid with either {U} or 2 life.)

Phyrexian Metamorph

({U/P} can be paid with either {U} or 2 life.)
You may have this creature enter as a copy of any artifact or creature on the battlefield, except it's an artifact in addition to its other types.

Eel Umbra

Flash (You may cast this spell any time you could cast an instant.)
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +1/+1.
Umbra armor (If enchanted creature would be destroyed, instead remove all damage from it and destroy this Aura.)

Cyclonic Rift

Return target nonland permanent you don't control to its owner's hand.
Overload {6}{U} (You may cast this spell for its overload cost. If you do, change "target" in its text to "each.")

Arcane Signet

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Propaganda

Creatures can't attack you unless their controller pays {2} for each creature they control that's attacking you.

Nanogene Conversion

Choose target creature you control. Each other creature becomes a copy of that creature until end of turn, except it isn't legendary.

Irenicus's Vile Duplication

Create a token that's a copy of target creature you control, except the token has flying and it isn't legendary.

An Offer You Can't Refuse

Counter target noncreature spell. Its controller creates two Treasure tokens. (They're artifacts with "{T}, Sacrifice this token: Add one mana of any color.")

Pip-Boy 3000

Whenever equipped creature attacks, choose one —
• Sort Inventory — Draw a card, then discard a card.
• Pick a Perk — Put a +1/+1 counter on that creature.
• Check Map — Untap up to two target lands.
Equip {2}

Excalibur, Sword of Eden

This spell costs {X} less to cast, where X is the total mana value of historic permanents you control. (Artifacts, legendaries, and Sagas are historic.)
Equipped creature gets +10/+0 and has vigilance.
Equip legendary creature {2}

Confounding Conundrum

When this enchantment enters, draw a card.
Whenever a land an opponent controls enters, if that player had another land enter the battlefield under their control this turn, they return a land they control to its owner's hand.

Rhystic Study

Whenever an opponent casts a spell, you may draw a card unless that player pays {1}.

Disallow

Counter target spell, activated ability, or triggered ability. (Mana abilities can't be targeted.)

Force of Negation

If it's not your turn, you may exile a blue card from your hand rather than pay this spell's mana cost.
Counter target noncreature spell. If that spell is countered this way, exile it instead of putting it into its owner's graveyard.

Mana Drain

Counter target spell. At the beginning of your next main phase, add an amount of {C} equal to that spell's mana value.

Reality Shift

Exile target creature. Its controller manifests the top card of their library. (That player puts the top card of their library onto the battlefield face down as a 2/2 creature. If it's a creature card, it can be turned face up any time for its mana cost.)

Silent Hallcreeper

This creature can't be blocked.
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, choose one that hasn't been chosen —
• Put two +1/+1 counters on this creature.
• Draw a card.
• This creature becomes a copy of another target creature you control.

Keep Safe

Counter target spell that targets a permanent you control.
Draw a card.

Slip Out the Back

Put a +1/+1 counter on target creature. It phases out. (Treat it and anything attached to it as though they don't exist until its controller's next turn.)

Visions of Beyond

Draw a card. If a graveyard has twenty or more cards in it, draw three cards instead.

Hammer of Nazahn

Whenever Hammer of Nazahn or another Equipment you control enters, you may attach that Equipment to target creature you control.
Equipped creature gets +2/+0 and has indestructible.
Equip {4}

Bruvac the Grandiloquent

If an opponent would mill one or more cards, they mill twice that many cards instead. (To mill a card, a player puts the top card of their library into their graveyard.)

Sakashima the Impostor

You may have Sakashima the Impostor enter as a copy of any creature on the battlefield, except its name is Sakashima the Impostor, it's legendary in addition to its other types, and it has "{2}{U}{U}: Return Sakashima the Impostor to its owner's hand at the beginning of the next end step."

Imprisoned in the Moon

Enchant creature, land, or planeswalker
Enchanted permanent is a colorless land with "{T}: Add {C}" and loses all other card types and abilities.

The Mindskinner

The Mindskinner can't be blocked.
If a source you control would deal damage to an opponent, prevent that damage and each opponent mills that many cards.

Giggling Skitterspike

Indestructible
Whenever this creature attacks, blocks, or becomes the target of a spell, it deals damage equal to its power to each opponent.
{5}: Monstrosity 5. (If this creature isn't monstrous, put five +1/+1 counters on it and it becomes monstrous.)

Reenact the Crime

Exile target nonland card in a graveyard that was put there from anywhere this turn. Copy it. You may cast the copy without paying its mana cost.

Fierce Guardianship

If you control a commander, you may cast this spell without paying its mana cost.
Counter target noncreature spell.

Colossus Hammer

Equipped creature gets +10/+10 and loses flying.
Equip {8} ({8}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Mithril Coat

Flash
Indestructible
When Mithril Coat enters, attach it to target legendary creature you control.
Equipped creature has indestructible.
Equip {3}

Lavaspur Boots

Equipped creature gets +1/+0 and has haste and ward {1}. (Whenever it becomes the target of a spell or ability an opponent controls, counter it unless that player pays {1}.)
Equip {1}

Ruin Crab

Landfall — Whenever a land you control enters, each opponent mills three cards. (To mill a card, a player puts the top card of their library into their graveyard.)

Blade of Selves

Equipped creature has myriad. (Whenever it attacks, for each opponent other than defending player, you may create a token copy that's tapped and attacking that player or a planeswalker they control. Exile the tokens at end of combat.)
Equip {4}

Brass Squire

{T}: Attach target Equipment you control to target creature you control.

Sword of the Animist

Equipped creature gets +1/+1.
Whenever equipped creature attacks, you may search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.
Equip {2}

Undead Alchemist

If a Zombie you control would deal combat damage to a player, instead that player mills that many cards.
Whenever a creature card is put into an opponent's graveyard from their library, exile that card and create a 2/2 black Zombie creature token.

Esior, Wardwing Familiar

Flying
Spells your opponents cast that target one or more commanders you control cost {3} more to cast.
Partner (You can have two commanders if both have partner.)

Force of Will

You may pay 1 life and exile a blue card from your hand rather than pay this spell's mana cost.
Counter target spell.

Leyline Axe

If this card is in your opening hand, you may begin the game with it on the battlefield.
Equipped creature gets +1/+1 and has double strike and trample.
Equip {3} ({3}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Blackblade Reforged

Equipped creature gets +1/+1 for each land you control.
Equip legendary creature {3}
Equip {7}

Arcane Denial

Counter target spell. Its controller may draw up to two cards at the beginning of the next turn's upkeep.
You draw a card at the beginning of the next turn's upkeep.

Mind Bomb

Each player may discard up to three cards. Mind Bomb deals damage to each player equal to 3 minus the number of cards they discarded this way.

Pongify

Destroy target creature. It can't be regenerated. Its controller creates a 3/3 green Ape creature token.

Fireshrieker

Equipped creature has double strike. (It deals both first-strike and regular combat damage.)
Equip {2} ({2}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Sol Ring

Rapid Hybridization

Destroy target creature. It can't be regenerated. That creature's controller creates a 3/3 green Frog Lizard creature token.

Helm of the Host

At the beginning of combat on your turn, create a token that's a copy of equipped creature, except the token isn't legendary. That token gains haste.
Equip {5}

Sakashima of a Thousand Faces

You may have Sakashima enter as a copy of another creature you control, except it has Sakashima's other abilities.
The "legend rule" doesn't apply to permanents you control.
Partner (You can have two commanders if both have partner.)

Mirrormade

You may have this enchantment enter as a copy of any artifact or enchantment on the battlefield.

Nerd Rage

Enchant creature
When this Aura enters, draw two cards.
Enchanted creature has "You have no maximum hand size" and "Whenever this creature attacks, if you have ten or more cards in hand, it gets +10/+10 until end of turn."

Windfall

Each player discards their hand, then draws cards equal to the greatest number of cards a player discarded this way.

Mjölnir, Storm Hammer

When Mjölnir enters, attach it to target legendary creature you control.
Whenever equipped creature attacks, tap target creature defending player controls and put a stun counter on it. Then Mjölnir deals damage to each opponent equal to the number of tapped creatures that opponent controls.
Equip {4}

Strix Serenade

Counter target artifact, creature, or planeswalker spell. Its controller creates a 2/2 blue Bird creature token with flying.

Back to Basics

Nonbasic lands don't untap during their controllers' untap steps.

Quantum Misalignment

Create a token that's a copy of target creature you control, except it isn't legendary.
Rebound (If you cast this spell from your hand, exile it as it resolves. At the beginning of your next upkeep, you may cast this card from exile without paying its mana cost.)

Unable to Scream

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature loses all abilities and is a Toy artifact creature with base power and toughness 0/2 in addition to its other types.
As long as enchanted creature is face down, it can't be turned face up.

Spark Double

You may have this creature enter as a copy of a creature or planeswalker you control, except it enters with an additional +1/+1 counter on it if it's a creature, it enters with an additional loyalty counter on it if it's a planeswalker, and it isn't legendary.

Thran Power Suit

Equipped creature gets +1/+1 for each Aura and Equipment attached to it and has ward {2}. (Whenever equipped creature becomes the target of a spell or ability an opponent controls, counter it unless that player pays {2}.)
Equip {2} ({2}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

The One Ring

Indestructible
When The One Ring enters, if you cast it, you gain protection from everything until your next turn.
At the beginning of your upkeep, you lose 1 life for each burden counter on The One Ring.
{T}: Put a burden counter on The One Ring, then draw a card for each burden counter on The One Ring.

The Reality Chip

You may look at the top card of your library any time.
As long as The Reality Chip is attached to a creature, you may play lands and cast spells from the top of your library.
Reconfigure {2}{U} ({2}{U}: Attach to target creature you control; or unattach from a creature. Reconfigure only as a sorcery. While attached, this isn't a creature.)

Auton Soldier

You may have this creature enter as a copy of any creature on the battlefield, except it isn't legendary, is an artifact in addition to its other types, and has myriad. (Whenever it attacks, for each opponent other than defending player, you may create a token copy that's tapped and attacking that player or a planeswalker they control. Exile the tokens at end of combat.)