Murkwater Pathway

Clearwater Pathway

Clearwater Pathway // Murkwater Pathway

A Real Handful

As long as one or more hands are touching A Real Handful, it gets +2/+2.
As long as two or more hands are touching A Real Handful, it has menace.
As long as three or more hands are touching A Real Handful, it has lifelink.

Lexivore

Whenever Lexivore deals damage to a player, destroy target permanent other than Lexivore with the most lines of text in its text box. (If two or more cards are tied, target any one of them.)

Clocknapper

When Clocknapper enters the battlefield, choose beginning phase, precombat main phase, combat phase, postcombat main phase, or ending phase. Steal that phase from target player during their next turn. (That phase occurs as though it's your turn instead.)

Urza's Contact Lenses

Urza's Contact Lenses enters the battlefield tapped.
Urza's Contact Lenses doesn't untap during your untap step.
As long as Urza's Contact Lenses is untapped, all players play with their hands revealed.
Clap your hands twice: You may tap or untap Urza's Contact Lenses.

Boing!

Return target creature to its owner's hand, then roll a six-sided die. If the result is 3 or less, scry a number of cards equal to the result.

Hurloon Wrangler

Denimwalk (This creature can't be blocked as long as defending player is wearing denim.)

Hangman

As Hangman enters the battlefield, secretly note a word with six to eight letters.
{1}: Target player who doesn't control Hangman guesses the noted word or an unguessed letter in that word. If they guess wrong, put a +1/+1 counter on Hangman. Any player may activate this ability.
When a player guesses the noted word or all of its letters, sacrifice Hangman.

Wild Crocodile

When this creature enters the battlefield, search your library for a basic land card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Double Header

Flying
When Double Header enters the battlefield, you may return target permanent with a two-word name to its owner's hand.

The Big Top

{T}: Add one mana of any color that appears on your top. (A top is an outerwear garment worn on the upper body.)

Spelling Bee

Flying, deathtouch
Whenever Spelling Bee deals combat damage to a player, that player looks at the top card of your library and chooses a word on that card. You spell that word. If you spell it correctly, draw a card. Otherwise, scry 1.

Quandrix Campus

Quandrix Campus enters the battlefield tapped.
{T}: Add {G} or {U}.
{4}, {T}: Scry 1.

Savage Lands

Savage Lands enters the battlefield tapped.
{T}: Add {B}, {R}, or {G}.

Gray Merchant of Alphabet

When Gray Merchant of Alphabet enters the battlefield, choose a letter. For each creature you control that has the chosen letter in its name, you gain 1 life and each opponent loses 1 life.

Gluetius Maximus

As Gluetius Maximus enters the battlefield, an opponent chooses one of your fingers. (Thumbs are fingers, too.)
When the chosen finger isn't touching Gluetius Maximus, sacrifice Gluetius Maximus.

Hot Fix

You have ten seconds to look at and rearrange the cards in your library. At the end of those ten seconds, if you're touching one or more of those cards, shuffle.

Three-Headed Goblin

Triple strike (This creature deals first-strike, regular, and last-strike combat damage.)

Selfie Preservation

Search your library for a basic land card and reveal it. If there's a tree in its art, put it onto the battlefield tapped. Otherwise, put it into your hand. Then shuffle.

Phone a Friend

Call someone and ask them to choose one. If they don't answer, an opponent choses one. (Don't explain anything else. You choose targets.)
• A — Gain control of target creature you don't control.
• B — Choose target creature you control. Create two tokens that are each copies of it.
• C — Take an extra turn after this one.
• D — Draw seven cards.

Paper Tiger

Creatures named Rock Lobster can't attack or block.

Cheap Ass

Decisions, Decisions

Reveal the top three cards of your library, then choose a consonant. (Y counts.) Put each card that has the chosen letter in the first word of its name from among them into your hand and the rest on the bottom of your library in any order.

Volrath's Motion Sensor

Enchant player
As Volrath's Motion Sensor enters the battlefield, choose one of enchanted player's hands. That player balances Volrath's Motion Sensor on the back of that hand.
When Volrath's Motion Sensor falls off the chosen hand, sacrifice Volrath's Motion Sensor and enchanted player loses 3 life.

Double Play

Choose another player. Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle. At the beginning of the first upkeep in your next game with that player, search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

Wet Willie of the Damned

Wet Willie of the Damned deals 2½ damage to any target and you gain 2½ life.

Goblin Bowling Team

If Goblin Bowling Team would deal damage to a permanent or player, it deals that much damage plus the result of a six-sided die roll to that permanent or player instead.

Willing Test Subject

Reach
Whenever you roll a 4 or higher on a die, put a +1/+1 counter on Willing Test Subject.
{6}: Roll a six-sided die.

Blufferfish

{3}{U}: An opponent tells you a statement about themselves and secretly notes whether it's true or not. You guess which it is. If you guessed correctly, Blufferfish gets +2/+0 and can't be blocked this turn.

Do-It-Yourself Seraph

Flying
Whenever Do-It-Yourself Seraph attacks, you may search your library for an artifact card, exile it, then shuffle.
Do-It-Yourself Seraph has the text box of each card exiled with Do-It-Yourself Seraph in addition to its own.

Swamp

Knight of the Kitchen Sink

First strike, protection from watermarks (Nothing with a watermark can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

Frontier Bivouac

Frontier Bivouac enters the battlefield tapped.
{T}: Add {G}, {U}, or {R}.

Crumbling Necropolis

Crumbling Necropolis enters the battlefield tapped.
{T}: Add {U}, {B}, or {R}.

Handcuffs

As Handcuffs enters the battlefield, choose a player.
When the chosen player's hands aren't touching each other, sacrifice Handcuffs and that player sacrifices three permanents.

Night Shift of the Living Dead

After you roll a die, you may pay 1 life. If you do, increase or decrease the result by 1. Do this only once each turn.
Whenever you roll a 6, create a 2/2 black Zombie Employee creature token.

Goblin Bookie

{R}, {T}: Reflip any coin or reroll any die. (Activate only any time it makes sense.)

Killer Cosplay

Whenever Killer Cosplay becomes attached to a creature, choose a creature card name with an identical mana cost. That creature becomes a copy of the card with the chosen name until Killer Cosplay becomes unattached from it.
Equip {3}

Land Aid '04

Search your library for a basic land card, put that card onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle. If you sang a song the whole time you were searching and shuffling, you may untap that land.

Seaside Citadel

Seaside Citadel enters the battlefield tapped.
{T}: Add {G}, {W}, or {U}.

Scissors Lizard

Creatures named Paper Tiger can't attack or block.

Dissatisfied Customer

Flying, haste
When Dissatisfied Customer enters the battlefield, roll a six-sided die. If the result is 3 or less, you lose that much life.

Arcane Sanctum

Arcane Sanctum enters the battlefield tapped.
{T}: Add {W}, {U}, or {B}.

Clay Pigeon

Flying
{1}, Throw Clay Pigeon into the air at least two feet above your head while seated: If you catch Clay Pigeon with one hand, prevent all damage a source of your choice would deal to you this turn and tap Clay Pigeon. Otherwise, sacrifice it.

Fowl Play

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature loses all abilities and is a Bird creature with base power and toughness 1/1.

The Fallen Apart

The Fallen Apart enters the battlefield with two arms and two legs.
Whenever damage is dealt to The Fallen Apart, remove an arm or a leg from it.
The Fallen Apart can't attack if it has no legs and can't block if it has no arms.

Mesa Chicken

Stand up, Flap your arms, Cluck like a chicken: Mesa Chicken gains flying until end of turn.

Pair o' Dice Lost

Roll two six-sided dice. Return any number of cards with total mana value X or less from your graveyard to your hand, where X is the total of those results. Exile Pair o' Dice Lost.

Plains

Our Market Research Shows That Players Like Really Long Card Names So We Made this Card to Have the Absolute Longest Card Name Ever Elemental

Art rampage 2 (Whenever this creature becomes blocked by a creature, it gets +2/+2 for each creature in the blocker's art beyond the first.)

Urza's Fun House

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {∞}. Activate only once and only if you control an Urza's Mine, an Urza's Power-Plant, and an Urza's Tower.
{7}, {T}: Head to AskUrza.com and click Urza's Fun House.

Tainted Monkey

{T}: Choose a word. Target player mills a card. If a card with the chosen word in its text box was milled this way, they lose 3 life.

Granny's Payback

Mirror Mirror

Mirror Mirror enters the battlefield tapped.
{7}, {T}, Sacrifice Mirror Mirror: Choose target player. At the beginning of the next end step, exchange life totals with that player, exchange control of all permanents you and that player control, and exchange cards in your hands, cards in your libraries, and cards in your graveyards.

Animate Graveyard

Enchant your graveyard
Enchanted graveyard is a creature on the battlefield with base power and toughness each equal to the number of cards in it. It has the text boxes of all creature cards in it. It's still a graveyard.
If enchanted graveyard would leave the battlefield, instead exile Animate Graveyard.

Who // What // When // Where // Why

Hinterland Harbor

Hinterland Harbor enters the battlefield tapped unless you control a Forest or an Island.
{T}: Add {G} or {U}.

Laughing Hyena

Gotcha — If an opponent laughs, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Laughing Hyena from your graveyard to your hand.

Carnivorous Death-Parrot

Flying
At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice Carnivorous Death-Parrot unless you say its flavor text.

Emcee

Whenever another creature enters the battlefield, you may stand up and say in a deep, booming voice, "Presenting . . . " and that creature's name. If you do, put a +1/+1 counter on that creature.

Impounding Lot-Bot

When Impounding Lot-Bot enters the battlefield, you may say "INCARCERATE!" in a robot voice. If you do, exile another target artifact or enchantment until Impounding Lot-Bot leaves the battlefield.

Slitherbore Pathway

Darkbore Pathway

Darkbore Pathway // Slitherbore Pathway

Super-Duper Death Ray

Trample (This spell can deal excess damage to its target's controller.)
Super-Duper Death Ray deals 4 damage to target creature.

Rod of Spanking

{2}, {T}: Rod of Spanking deals 1 damage to target player. Then untap Rod of Spanking unless that player says "Thank you, sir. May I have another?"

Creature Guy

Gotcha — If an opponent says "creature" or "guy," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Creature Guy from your graveyard to your hand.

Super-Duper Lost

Put target creature into its owner's library just beneath the top X cards of that library, where X is the number of doors you can see from your seat.

Face to Face

You and target opponent play a best two-out-of-three Rock, Paper, Scissors match. If you win, Face to Face deals 5 damage to that player.

Entirely Normal Armchair

During your turn, if Entirely Normal Armchair is in your hand, you may hide it on the battlefield.
{0}: Return Entirely Normal Armchair to its owner's hand. Only your opponents may activate this ability and only if they see Entirely Normal Armchair.
{2}, Sacrifice Entirely Normal Armchair: Destroy target attacking creature.

Everythingamajig

{1}, {T}: Scry 2.
{1}, {T}, Pay 1 life: Create a 0/1 white Goat creature token.
{7}, {T}, Sacrifice Everythingamajig: Choose target player. At the beginning of the next end step, exchange life totals with that player, exchange control of all permanents you and that player control, and exchange cards in your hands, cards in your libraries, and cards in your graveyards.

Krark's Other Thumb

If you would roll a die, instead roll two of those dice and ignore one of those results.

Common Courtesy

Whenever a player casts a spell without asking your permission while casting it, counter that spell.
When a player asks you permission to cast a spell and you refuse, counter that spell and sacrifice Common Courtesy.

Flaccify

Counter target spell unless its controller pays {3}{½}.

Six-Sided Die

Choose target creature. Roll a six-sided die.
1 — It has base toughness 1 until end of turn.
2 — Put two -1/-1 counters on it.
3 — Six-Sided Die deals 3 damage to it and you gain 3 life.
4 — It gets -4/-4 until end of turn.
5 — Destroy it.
6 — Exile it.

Vegetation Abomination

Deathtouch
{T}, Sacrifice Vegetation Abomination: Roll a six-sided die. You gain life equal to the result.

Park Map

{1}, Sacrifice Park Map: Search your library for a land card that doesn't have the same art as a permanent you control, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

The Space Family Goblinson

The Space Family Goblinson has trample as long as you've rolled three or more dice this turn.
Whenever you roll a die, put a +1/+1 counter on The Space Family Goblinson.

Infernal Spawn of Evil

Flying, first strike
{1}{B}, Reveal Infernal Spawn of Evil from your hand, Say "It's coming!": Infernal Spawn of Evil deals 1 damage to target opponent or planeswalker. Activate only during your upkeep and only once each turn.

Ground Pounder

{3}{G}: Roll a six-sided die. Ground Pounder gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the result.
Whenever you roll a 5 or higher on a die, Ground Pounder gains trample until end of turn.

Deal Damage

Deal Damage deals 4 damage to any target.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "deal" or "damage," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Deal Damage from your graveyard to your hand.

Feisty Stegosaurus

When this creature enters the battlefield, roll a six-sided die. This creature deals damage equal to the result to target creature an opponent controls.

Adorable Kitten

When this creature enters the battlefield, roll a six-sided die. You gain life equal to the result.

Scooch

Add or subtract 1 from target creature's power, target player's life total, or target die roll's result.
Draw a card.

Spirit of the Season

When Spirit of the Season enters the battlefield, it gains haste if it's summer. Put a +1/+1 counter on it if it's autumn. You gain 5 life if it's winter. If it's spring, search your library for a basic land card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Bronze Calendar

Spells you cast cost {1} less to cast.
You must speak in a voice other than your normal voice.
When you speak in your normal voice, sacrifice Bronze Calendar.

Ineffable Blessing

As Ineffable Blessing enters the battlefield, choose white-bordered or silver-bordered.
Whenever a creature with the chosen border enters the battlefield under your control, draw a card.

Charm School

As Charm School enters the battlefield, choose a color and balance Charm School on your head.
Prevent all damage that would be dealt to you by sources of the chosen color.
When Charm School falls off your head, sacrifice Charm School.

Keeper of the Sacred Word

As Keeper of the Sacred Word enters the battlefield, choose a word.
Whenever an opponent says the chosen word, Keeper of the Sacred Word gets +3/+3 until end of turn.

D00-DL, Caricaturist

When D00-DL, Caricaturist enters the battlefield, create a 4/4 colorless Sketch creature token, which you have fifteen seconds to draw. The token has flying if it has wings in its art. The same is true for first strike and a sword, vigilance and a shield, menace and mean eyes, trample and horns, deathtouch and claws, lifelink and fangs, and haste and footwear.

Topsy Turvy

The phases of each player's turn are reversed. (The phases are, in reverse order, ending, postcombat main, combat, precombat main, and beginning.)
As long as there are more than two players in the game, the turn order is reversed.

Starlight Spectacular

Parade! — At the beginning of combat on your turn, choose creatures you control one at a time until each creature you control has been chosen. Each of those creatures gets +1/+1 until end of turn for each creature chosen before it. (Places everyone! The first creature in line gets +0/+0.)

Jumbo Imp

Flying
As Jumbo Imp enters the battlefield, roll a six-sided die. Jumbo Imp enters the battlefield with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the result.
At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die and put a number of +1/+1 counters on Jumbo Imp equal to the result.
At the beginning of your end step, roll a six-sided die and remove a number of +1/+1 counters from Jumbo Imp equal to the result.

City of Ass

City of Ass enters the battlefield tapped.
{T}: Add one and one-half mana of any one color.

Mad Science Fair Project

{T}: Roll a six-sided die. On a 3 or lower, target player adds {C}. Otherwise, that player adds one mana of any color they choose.

Stone-Cold Basilisk

Whenever Stone-Cold Basilisk blocks or becomes blocked by a creature with fewer letters in its name, destroy that creature at end of combat. (Punctuation and spaces aren't letters.)
Whenever an opponent reads Stone-Cold Basilisk, that player is turned to stone until end of turn. Stoned players can't attack, block, cast spells, or activate abilities.

Very Cryptic Command

Choose two —
• Return target permanent to its controller's hand.
• Draw two cards, then discard a card.
• Change the target of target spell with a single target.
• Turn over target nontoken creature.

Six-y Beast

As Six-y Beast enters the battlefield, you secretly put six or fewer +1/+1 counters on it, then an opponent guesses the number of counters. If that player guesses right, sacrifice Six-y Beast after it enters the battlefield.

Surgeon General Commander

Whenever you augment, enchant, or mutate a creature you control, draw a card.
{T}: Add {W}, {U}, {B}, {R}, or {G}.

Stop That

Target player discards a card.
Gotcha — If an opponent audibly flicks the cards in their hand, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Stop That from your graveyard to your hand.

Frazzled Editor

Protection from wordy (Something is wordy if it has four or more lines of rules text.)

Mountain

Wordmail

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +1/+1 for each word in its name.

Toy Boat

Cumulative upkeep—Say "Toy Boat" quickly. (At the beginning of your upkeep, put an age counter on Toy Boat, then sacrifice it unless you say "Toy Boat" once for each age counter on it—without pausing between or fumbling it.)

Mer Man

When this creature enters the battlefield, you may draw a card.